The Courage To Love (Love On The North Shore) (19 page)

Red spread across his mother’s face. “What I did was wrong, but you father was no saint. Maybe you didn’t hear them, but there were always rumors flying around about his affairs.”

Sean ignored her comment about his father’s affairs. If they’d bothered her that much, she could have asked for a divorce. “I gave up everything and stayed here to help you, Ma, but all along it was your fault he left.”

“Sean, I know how much you sacrificed. And—”

“No, Ma, you don’t. I gave up a full scholarship to play football at the University of Florida.” If only time could be turned back. “Instead of working my ass off and taking night classes I could have gone to college debt-free.” The woman before him was suddenly a stranger. How could he have missed so much of the truth?

“And what about Charlie, Ma?” After the divorce she’d changed, too. “She was devastated when Dad left. She shut people out for years because of it.”

More tears welled up in his mother’s eyes. “All I can say is, I’m sorry.”

“It’s a little late.” Sean stalked across the room. He needed to get away from her before he said something he would regret later. “Congratulations. I’m sure you and Ray will be happy,” he added sarcastically as he yanked open the door.

“Please, Sean wait.” Maureen’s voice came out as a desperate plea.

“Not now, Ma.” The door slammed closed behind him.

***

Removing her makeup in record time, she glanced at the clock. Sean should be here any minute now, assuming he still planned to come. When he’d left on Sunday night,  they’d agreed he’d come back again for the weekend. So far he’d come and stayed with her every weekend since she checked into The Regency. Since Monday, though, they’d spoken only twice and both conversations had not been quite right. Something about the tone of his voice set off alarms in her head. He’d denied anything bothered him, but the warning bells continued to ring. In fact, their last conversation had only lasted ten minutes, and she’d talked the whole time. Other than hello and goodbye Sean hadn’t added a single word, which even for him was strange. Tonight maybe he’d open up a little.

Warm water trickled down her face and she grabbed the towel. For the first time all day her skin felt clean. Sometimes the makeup artists piled on so much makeup it felt like a mask sat on her face. Scrubbed clean, she pulled on a Patriots T-shirt and a pair of cut-offs. In the past, she’d always felt a need to dress up for her boyfriends, but not with Sean. Around him she could be herself. If she wanted to dress casually she did. If she wanted to leave her hair in a ponytail and stay in her pajamas, that was fine, too. The only other time she felt that free was when she was alone. She loved it and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

With nothing else to do but wait, Mia switched off the bedroom light and wandered into the living room. Considering all the channels on her television, she should be able to find something to watch while she passed the time.

The door opened with a click fifteen minutes later and relief blossomed. “I’ve missed you,” Mia said as she stood. “I thought maybe you changed you mind about coming today.”

Sean dropped his bag on an armchair. “Traffic was bad this afternoon. The Red Sox have a home game.”

“Well, you’re here now and don’t have to think about traffic again until Sunday night.” She pressed her body against his and kissed his cheek.

Sean remained rigid next to her. “Yeah, I guess.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Sean turned his head. “How about we go out? You mentioned those duck boat tours. I checked before I left home. They run until dusk. If we go now we can still catch one. I know there is a stop at the Prudential Building.”

In his current mood she’d get nothing out of him and she’d wanted to take one of Boston’s duck tours for a long time. Maybe when they got back, he’d open up and share whatever bothered him. “Okay,” she said. “Let me grab my sneakers.” She’d learned her lesson on the ghost tour in Salem.

Fifteen minutes later, they stood outside the Prudential Building located in Boston’s Back Bay section, tickets in hand.

“We have some time to kill. Do you want to go up to the Skywalk?” Sean asked.

Mia glanced down at her watch. They did have almost twenty minutes until the next duck boat departed. “Sure. What is it?”

Sean shot her a look of surprise. “You went to Harvard and never heard of the Skywalk? It’s a 360- degree observatory up on the fiftieth floor. On a clear day like this you get an excellent view of the city.”

He hadn’t exaggerated. Mia gazed out of the glass windows. From up here she had an excellent view of what the city referred to as the Emerald Necklace, a ring of parks that included the Boston Common, the Public Garden and several other parks in the city. “This is fantastic. I could stay up here for hours and look at this view.”

“After the tour we can get a drink in the Hub upstairs if you want. The bar windows face the west so you can watch the sunset.” He took her hand and tugged her closer. “Right now we need to get back downstairs if we’re going to catch the next tour.”

The open-air amphibious vehicle referred to as a Duck Boat sat at the curb. As passengers climbed on board a tour guide handed out a duck-beak-shaped whistle for them to use during the trip.

The first time she saw the vehicles on the city streets, she’d been seven, and it had been her first trip to Boston with her family. When the silly looking vehicle passed by, passengers on board started quacking at them with the whistles. Later that same day she’d seen another one pass by, and she’d watched in wonder as it drove right off  the street and into the Charles River. After that she’d begged her mom to buy them tickets, but she refused, insisting they’d already spent enough money to get into the aquarium and eat lunch.

Once all the passenger including Sean and her were seated, the duck boat pulled away from the curb and down Boylston street.

“And coming up on our left is the Public Garden and the Boston Common,” the tour guide said from the front of the vehicle. “The Boston Common encompasses forty-eight acres and for over two centuries it  has served as everything from a common pasture to a site for the city gallows. During the 1775-1776 military occupation, it even served as a camp for the British troops. The Public Garden next door covers twenty-four acres and was designed by William G. Preston in 1869. If you visit the Public Garden later, stop by the lagoon and rent a swan boat.”

Next to her Sean shifted his position. “Why didn’t you ever do this while at Harvard?” he asked when the tour guide stopped talking.

“My freshman year I didn’t leave campus much and when I did I was usually with either my roommate, Casey, or Sara Sherbrooke. Neither had any interest in going. I did get them to walk the Freedom Trail with me once though.”

“You were living in the heart if the city and stayed on campus?”

“Believe it or not, it was the first time I had ever been away from both my parents. Even when I shot my second movie in London,  my mother came with me. So I was a little nervous about being in the city by myself.”

“What about your sophomore year?”

“I landed an internship at the Harvard Museum of Natural History. Between that and my courses, I didn’t have a lot of free time. And after the second semester I left Harvard.”

The microphone on the vehicle crackled to life again. “If you look to your right, you’ll see Saint Paul’s Cathedral,” the tour guide said as the vehicle turned onto Tremont street. “It was consecrated in 1820 and designed by Alexander Parris, who also designed the Quincy Market Hall.”

Happy to just listen to the tour guide, Mia kept silent as the vehicle passed down Tremont street toward the Old Granary Burying Ground. Every once in a while, she’d shoot a look at Sean. Compared to when he first walked into her hotel room he looked relaxed, almost bored in fact. Even with the change she sensed something bothered him. Had he spoken with his father again? Or did what his father shared during their last meeting still weigh on his mind? Either way, he’d feel better if he got it off his chest; at least she usually did. When they got back she’d try to get him talking again.

***

Sean dropped down on the couch next to her and placed a soda on the end table. They’d just returned from The Hub where they’d stopped for a drink after the duck boat tour ended and watched the sunset. As Sean had promised, the sight had been spectacular.

“What’s bothering you?” She placed her hands on either side of his face, the stubble on his cheeks scratching her palms, and turned his face toward her.

“Nothing.”

Under her hands, his jaw tensed. “Something is wrong. Come on, Sean, talk to me. I want to help. Did you talk with your dad again?”

“No. Did you enjoy the tour?” He leaned forward as if to kiss her.

She turned her head just in time and his lips landed on her cheek. If he kissed her now, they’d not finish this conversation. “Then what’s wrong? You’ve been upset all week. And even now you’re grumpy.”

“You’re not going to give up are you?” Sean stood and crossed his arms. “Fine. Whatever. My father wasn’t lying about my mother’s affair, and to top it off Ray proposed to Ma on Monday.”

No helpful words came to mind. No wonder he’d been acting odd all week.

“When my father left, Ma was a mess, so I ditched all my plans. I didn’t even stop to think about it. I took care of her and Charlie. And all of it was her own fault.” The muscle in his cheek twitched as he spoke.

Pain filled her own chest. She wanted to hug him and somehow take the pain away from him. “I’m sorry.” The words seemed inadequate to the pain and anger he must feel. “Did your mom say why?”

“Some half-cocked excuse about their parents forcing them to marry and my father controlling her life.” Sean dropped his hands by his sides. “The why doesn’t matter. She still did it.”

Going on what Sean’s father told them and the little bit Sean shared now, it sounded to Mia like both his parents were to blame. “Sean maybe you’re being a little harsh on your mom.” She took his hand and tugged him back toward the couch. “Parents make mistakes, too. They’re human like us. It sounds like both your mom and dad messed up their marriage.”

Sean glared at her, his lips drawn tight. Okay, wrong thing to say. “Come on, Sean. Try to think of it from their points of view before you put all the blame on your mom. Yes, what she did was wrong, but your father had other ways of handling it. And maybe if alcohol hadn’t been involved he wouldn’t have cut you out of his life. Staying angry at both of them solves nothing. Trust me.”

“So you think we should all just kiss and makeup? Not happening.”

“Maybe not just like that, but come on, Sean, they’re your family.” She squeezed his hand. “My parents almost got a divorce because of my mom’s control over my career. My dad wanted my life to stay as normal as possible. He expected me to go on to college and stuff. Mom got all wrapped up in Hollywood and the money. It took a separation and counseling for them to work through it.” Unpleasant memories of the time tried to sneak up. “I know it’s different, but like your parents they both made some mistakes, and I forgave them.” She tucked a piece of hair that escaped her ponytail behind her ear and considered her next words.“If you make a mistake do you want your children holding it against you forever?”

Even though he never mentioned children, considering the way he viewed family, someday he’d have some.

“If I had kids I wouldn’t make the mistakes my parents made,” Sean answered with extra emphasis on the if.

“Oh. Well, hypothetically then,” she asked as she fought back the disappointment that swept through her heart when he said if.

“Some mistakes are not forgivable, Mia.”

The tone of his voice suggested she drop it, but something deep down kept her going. “And what about your sister Taylor? None of this is her fault. Are you going to ignore her because of your parents’ actions?”

“Really, you want to spend our last weekend together talking about my family problems?”

A tiny nugget of unease planted itself deep inside her chest. They’d not discussed how they’d keep their relationship going once she left Boston, but she assumed they’d find a way once they talked about it.

She swallowed down the panic growing inside her. “Since I am not needed in California until Thursday, I’m not flying out until Wednesday afternoon.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t stick around here until then. I have another appointment with the bank on Monday.”

The seed in her chest sprouted a stem. “That’s okay. I can go back to North Salem for a few days. Once I finish filming in California, I can come back. Or maybe you can come out and visit me while I continue work on the movie. You could stay with me.”

Sean rubbed his forehead. “I think we’re on two different pages, Mia. I thought we were just having some fun together while you were here. I thought you wanted a way to pass your downtime. I didn’t know you were looking for something long-term.”

A lump lodged itself in her throat. “At first that was it, but now I thought we could see where things went. I l—” the word love sat on her lips. “I like spending time with you,” Mia said improvising, not sure if she should drop the big L-word just yet.