The Cupid War (3 page)

3

C
ome on, joke's over,” Fallon said with barely concealed anger. “You've had your fun, now stop being a jerk and give me my missing … parts.”

Louis sniggered a moment longer. Then his face grew serious.

“Never call me a jerk,” Louis said, and he raised his arms and pointed his fingers at Fallon. Electric bolts fired from his fingertips and hit Fallon in his brand-new shoulder. Fallon jumped in surprise and mild pain, like he'd just received a static electricity shock.

“Just a little taste of what you'll get if you give me any more attitude,” Louis said, pointing his thumb and index finger like a gun. “You want another demonstration?”

Before Fallon could answer, Louis fired off another bolt. This one hit Fallon right between the eyes and knocked him back a few inches.

“Hey!” Fallon said. “Quit it!”

“Gotta have discipline,” Louis said. “Otherwise there'd be too many like you messing with me. You gonna be good?” Fallon nodded stiffly, and Louis lowered his hand.

“If you could have shocked me all this time,” Fallon asked, “why didn't you … ”

“Not until you had a body,” Louis said. “Come with me and I'll fill you in on what you need to know.”

Louis walked into one of the pink walls and disappeared. Fallon, half expecting the room to follow him again, took a tentative step forward. The wall got closer; it seemed he was well and truly one of them now. He walked confidently forward into the wall and smacked himself against it.

“Ow,” he said.

“Forgot to tell ya.” Louis stuck his head back through. “Ya haveta think your way through walls like these.”

“Okay,” Fallon said. “How do I do that?”

“With your mind, dum-dum.”

“Do all newly dead people have to go through this?” he asked.

“Nope,” Louis replied. “Just the ones with attitude. Now smarten up and come with me.” Louis stepped backward and his head vanished again.

“If this isn't Hell,” Fallon muttered, “please send me there. It's gotta be better than this.”

He tried thinking his way through, and stepped through the wall with no trouble. Then he did a double take; the next room wasn't a room at all, but a palace. He stood beneath a huge pink dome that stretched from the wall behind him off into a near-infinite distance. A big red heart was superimposed on the dome's ceiling, and the area beneath it bustled with activity. There were rows upon rows of big red cubes. People in pink outfits were walking around and in between those cubes, on a floor of solid white.

“This is the Cupid Center, our main headquarters,” Louis said, walking over to the nearest red cube. “I keep track of all the Cupids, where they're placed, what they're doing. All that stuff. You see this?” He patted the cube next to him. It was the size of a refrigerator, taller than any of the others. “This is what Love looks like. Pure, uncorrupted Love.”

“That's … love?” Fallon said, approaching slowly. On closer inspection, the cube looked like a big block of fudge.

“That's what I said,” Louis told him. Then, to Fallon's surprise and horror, he broke off a chunk and started snacking.

“What,” Fallon asked, “are you doing?”

“Recharging,” Louis replied, taking another bite.

“Uh huh,” Fallon said. “Are you going to start making sense anytime soon?” He braced himself for another electric shock, and he was not disappointed. He gritted his teeth and managed to keep from crying out, but just barely.

“That ain't your old body, kiddo,” Louis said. “Can't go for cheeseburgers like you used to. Your new body's a Cupid body, and the only thing you can eat is this.” Louis ripped another chunk of Love off the cube and tossed it to Fallon. “Eat that. All first timers get one bite for free to get them started. The rest, you gotta earn.”

Fallon looked at the brick of Love in his hands and thought about all that had been said and written about love throughout the ages. All the sonnets, poems, and greeting cards, and all the boy-band songs. Love, he'd heard, was the answer. God is love, the spiritualists said. Love made the world go 'round, love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Fallon wondered if all those things would have been said if the speakers knew that love was a bunch of big chunks of red fudge.

He took a bite. The Love had a syrupy texture, and tasted like corn and cheese. That figures, he thought.

“Like it?” Louis asked. “Well, better get used to it. That's all you get to eat, forever.”

Fallon popped the rest into his mouth.
I'll get bored of this real quick
, he thought. “So, how do I get my own Love?”

“Ya gotta earn it, like I said,” Louis told him. “Learn to listen. Now come with me.”

Louis walked off at a brisk clip, and Fallon followed him. They walked for ages down the rows of Love, not stopping or even slowing down. Fallon thought he'd be tired, but that didn't seem to be a problem for his new body.

They walked the entire way in silence. Fallon had a lot of questions, such as where did the Love come from, but he didn't particularly want to talk to Louis. If there was something he needed to know to do his job, Louis would tell him in his own time.

Finally, they arrived at the far end of the domed enclosure. There were several rounded arches built into the wall; to Fallon, they resembled doorways, but the space inside the arches looked as solid as the rest of the wall.

“Gonna ask me what these are?” Louis asked, indicating the arches with a flick of his head.

“Okay,” Fallon said, making an effort not to roll his eyes. “What are they?”

“Portals,” Louis said. “They transport you from here to the place where you're gonna work.”

“Gotcha,” Fallon said. “Walk through one and you're somewhere else, like a teleporter.”

“Teleporter?” Louis said. “What are you, a geek? They're portals, like I said. Gonna ask me how they work?”

“How do they work?” Fallon asked, gritting his teeth. He was getting mighty sick of this guy.

“You stand at a portal and think of where you wanna go,” Louis told him as he walked to the nearest one. “The portal takes that information and makes a doorway to the place.” As he spoke, the pink part of the wall enclosed by the portal's arch shimmered and took on a blue hue. “Blue means you're ready to go. The doorway stays open until another Cupid thinks up some other place.”

“So if I wanted to go to New York,” Fallon said, “it would … ”

“You're not going to New York,” Louis said. “You're here to work, remember? Follow me and we'll get you started.”

Louis stepped into the portal and vanished into the blue. Fallon made a rude gesture behind his back, then followed.

4

T
hey appeared back in the world, inside a large grocery store. Fallon recognized it immediately; it was the store where he used to work.

“Can this day get any worse?” he said. “Louis, why are we here?”

“This was part of your life,” Louis replied. “We always train new Cupids in a place that's familiar. Makes it easier.”

“Won't people see us?” Fallon asked, wrapping his arms over the heart on his chest. The last thing he wanted was to be seen by someone he knew in this outfit.

“
Didn't I tell ya?” Louis said. “We exist on a different level than this world does. Something to do with vibration. I don't wanna get into it. Basically, it me
ans we're invisible and can't touch nothing. Come on, let's go find Caleb.”

They set off through the store. Louis walked through display stands, shopping carts, and even people as if they weren't there. Fallon found himself walking around the things and people in his way. Old habits from life were hard to break.

However, the people he was avoiding did not seem to notice him at all. Plus, when he backed out of the way of a shopping cart, he found himself in the middle of another. The man pushing that cart walked straight through him, leaving Fallon weirded out but unharmed. There was no sensation at all.

“O-kay,” he said. “That was interesting.”

He wanted to experiment with his new-found insubstantialness, but knew he'd get another shock if he didn't keep up with Louis. He turned in the direction his new boss had been walking, but Louis was nowhere to be seen.

Fallon let off a most uncupidlike curse, then hurried off in search. There was an aisle of fresh vegetables ahead, which Fallon had stocked once upon a life. Louis might have walked through that, so he hurried to do the same.

He emerged on the other side of the aisle, passing through jumbo packs of napkins and toilet paper. He looked around for Louis, but still couldn't see him.

What he could see stopped him dead in his tracks. Becky, his ex-girlfriend, was walking toward him, idly pushing a cart. Her mother walked along behind, scanning the aisles for items.

Fallon realized it was probably only the morning after his death here in the living world. His body might not have been identified yet, so Becky didn't know he was dead.

“Beck … ” he said, not moving as her cart started to pass through him. He reached out a hand to touch her hair, but he could not. Becky and her mother walked through him, never noticing he was there.

Fallon turned, watching them go. He wondered how she would feel when she finally did learn of his untimely passing. They'd had a pretty good thing going before Susan arrived and ruined everything. If only he'd told Susan to buzz off when he'd first met her. If only he'd tried harder to make things work out. Fallon watched Becky and her mother turn the corner and vanish from view, and wished for what could never be.

Then an electric jolt struck him, and he fell to his knees.

“You got hearing problems, mister?” Louis said as he stormed over to him. “I told you to come with me, and as soon as I turn my back, you go off cruisin' for chicks.”

“I lost you,” Fallon said as he stood back up.

“Learn to keep up,” Louis said, giving him another shock. “You're not here to goof off, you're … ”

“ … here to work, I know,” Fallon said.

“You better,” Louis said. “Now let's go find Caleb.”

“Right here, Louis.”

Fallon and Louis turned to see a large man in a pink Cupid uniform casually walking toward them. He was tall, dark-skinned, and bearded, with a serious face but a fun, knowing spark in his eyes.

“Still tormenting the newcomers, I see,” Caleb went on as he approached. “I'm amazed you have any life force left.”

“I have enough for you, Caleb,” Louis warned. “So watch it.”

Caleb seemed to regard the threat with amusement. He turned his attention to Fallon and extended a large hand.

“Welcome to the Cupids,” he said. “I'm Caleb Williams.”

“I'm Fallon.”

“His name's Richard Fallon,” Louis said.

“Do you prefer Richard or Fallon?” Caleb asked.

“Fallon,” he replied. “I hate Richard. And especially Ricky.”

“Nobody cares,” Louis said. “And you'll call him Mr. Williams.”

“Call me Caleb,” Caleb said, a hint of a smile on his lips. “That is what I prefer.”

“You're asking for it,” Louis said, raising his hand.

“Very well then.” Caleb turned toward him. “Get it out of your system.” He spread his arms and waited.

Fallon stared at him, wide-eyed. What did he think he was doing?

Louis hesitated, looked from Fallon to Caleb, then lowered his arm. “Just don't forget who the boss is,” he said, a tad nonplussed.

“Consider me adequately corrected,” Caleb said, looking amused once more.

“Well, you show Ricky here what he has to do,” Louis said. “I'll check back later.”

With that, Louis turned, walked through the aisle of bathroom tissue, and vanished from view.

“I am sorry for what you have had to suffer,” Caleb said. “Louis is not the easiest person to get along with. A piece of work, you might say.”

“I'd say he's a piece of something else,” Fallon said, and Caleb chuckled.

“Sometimes he is,” he agreed. “But he has his reasons. Especially in a place like this.”

“What, a grocery store?”

“Yes,” Caleb said. “He was the deli manager for a store outside of Washington for thirty-four years. He died and joined the Cupids after a former employee shot him.”

“Yikes,” Fallon said. Can't say I blame the guy that shot him, he thought to himself.

“I'm sure it's nothing personal,” Caleb said. “Try not to let him get to you. After all, forces greater than us have given him authority.”

“Yeah, about that,” Fallon said. “Why would those greater forces want a guy like him running Heaven?”

“This isn't Heaven,” Caleb said. “We haven't earned that yet. If you are a Cupid, then you have something from your life to atone for.”

“The karma thing,” Fallon said. “Bud told me about that.”

“Indeed,” Caleb said. “There is good news, though. When you have paid your karma debt, you will move on.”

“How long does that usually take?” Fallon asked.

“That depends,” Caleb said, “on the level of your debt. I will teach you all about this life between life, Fallon, and I will answer what questions I can. Right now, though, I must begin your first Cupid lesson. It is not beyond Louis to hide and spy on new Cupids. We must at least pretend to be working.”

“Gotcha,” Fallon said, looking around. If Louis was spying, he could be anywhere, inside anything. He didn't need to hide behind a corner, not when he could walk through the wall.

Caleb started off down the nearest aisle and Fallon followed.

“You said something about Louis's life force,” Fallon said as they walked.

“He uses up a bit of his spirit every time he shocks someone,” Caleb replied. “I would bet my entire supply of Love that he has gone to rest and recharge himself.”

“Is that why he didn't shock you?” Fallon asked, and Caleb smiled.

“No,” he said. “Louis and I go back a ways. We know each other well. I don't think he really wants me as an enemy.”

They turned into the cereal aisle. A short-haired brunette Fallon didn't recognize was stacking the shelves in front of them.

“This is Emily,” Caleb told him. “She has feelings for one of the cashiers. I saw to that, shortly before you made your arrival. I'd like to see those feelings returned. Come with me.”

Caleb led Fallon to the front of the store, where three cashiers were handling the lines of impatient customers. Caleb walked straight through the lines of people and stood behind the middle cashier, a teenage boy with long black hair tied back in a ponytail.

“I know him,” Fallon said. “That's Mark Leder. We used to work together in produce. The manager always gave him grief about his hair.”

“Were you friends?” Caleb asked, and Fallon nodded. “Good. Then a friend of yours is about to become a happy man.”

Caleb stood behind Mark and slid his right hand into Mark's back. Mark didn't notice the intrusion into his person; all his attention was on the purchases of the customer beside the register.

“What I've done,” Caleb said, “is put my hand into Mark's heart. Now we wait.”

“For what?” Fallon asked.

“For his new love, of course,” Caleb replied. “We left Emily over there.” He indicated the aisle with a nod of his head. “Soon she will come into view, and she will look at young Mark here.”

“How do you know she'll do that?” Fallon asked.

“Because she has feelings for him,” Caleb said. “Look, there she is.”

And she was. Emily turned the corner and cast a shy glance at Mark.

“Mark,” Caleb said in the boy's ear, “look left.”

To Fallon's surprise, Mark actually did turn to look in her direction. Then Fallon saw a small flash of pink light from Mark's chest.

Caleb removed his hand from Mark's torso and stood back to admire his handiwork. Mark smiled sheepishly back at the girl, waved awkwardly, then returned to his customers. A second later he looked up at her again.

“And that's what we do,” Caleb said. “Any questions?”

“A few, yeah,” Fallon replied. “Number one, what was the light show? And how come he could hear you? I thought we were on some kind of different vibrational level or something.”

“We are,” Caleb said, leading Fallon away. “Did you see my hand inside him? I was touching his heart, and his soul. When you touch another's soul, you can
communicate with that soul, like a voice in the back of the mind. The person is likely not even aware of the communication, at least on a conscious level. Mark there”—Caleb nodded his head back in the cashier's direction—“will probably not even remember the voice. Or perhaps he will. That would be a very romantic thing to tell his love, that a voice from beyond told him to … are you all right?”

They had walked out through the front entrance and were facing the half-filled parking lot. Fallon had stopped, his eyes wide with realization.

“When I first saw Becky, my ex-girlfriend,” Fallon said, “I heard a voice in my head, too. I was in class, sitting at my desk reading a book, and a voice told me to look up. I did, and there was Becky. I … fell in love with her right then.”

“Ah, yes,” Caleb said. “That would have been Cole's doing. I trained him, too.”

“But that means I never really loved her!” Fallon said. He tried to lean against the side of the building, but instead he fell through it.

“That is not true,” Caleb replied as he helped Fallon back up.

“Yes it is!” Fallon replied, shaking off Caleb's helping hand. “I just liked her because of what your buddy did to me. He … that's what you guys do! You trick people into falling in love.”

“No,” Caleb replied. “That's not it at all, Fallon. What we do is the very thing that keeps the world turning.”

“Oh, come off it!” Fallon said. “Don't give me that greeting-card crap. I've seen what love really looks like, and it's nothing but chunks of red fudge.”

“Fallon,” Caleb said, his voice serious, “I will tolerate any number of things, but I will not listen to anyone belittling the wonder that is love.”

“Fine,” Fallon said. “Keep your love.” And he turned and ran off across the parking lot.

“Fallon! Come back,” Caleb called after him, but Fallon did not stop.