The Darkness of Perfection (23 page)

“Hey, it’s only a few days and then we’ll be back. Jayden will need time to settle into the house, but I’m sure she’ll be able to spare time to help Grace. You know I’m here for you and I’ll do what I can to help out.”

He turned back and stared at me for a moment, before speaking. “I’m here for you too, Nicholas. Try to remember that, will you?”

Our father slapped me on the back, laughing. “’bout damn time. I was starting to worry the family line was going to die out. I’m too damn old to start trying to father any more sons now.” He tapped his chest with his thumb. “Don’t want to risk the old ticker on just any old whore at this point in life. It’s enough work just getting off on your mother.”

Jayden cringed at his vulgar words and even I was disgusted by them. No one wants to hear about their parents having sex. The theory that the stork brought us was enough for me to be able to sleep at night.

“For God’s sake, do you always have to say crap like that? I swear there is something fundamentally wrong with your brain.” William rolled his eyes and turned away in disgust. He walked over to my mother and Grace and guided them back into the house.

My father stared at William’s retreating back and chuckled. “That boy needs to pull the stick out of his ass. He’s beginning to worry me.” He shook his head and turned back to us, looking down at Jayden who was still trembling in my arms. I knew she was overwhelmed and fighting to accept that she was my wife now. He opened his arms wide and grinned. “Got a kiss for your father-in-law, girl?”

I gave her a little push in his direction, knowing she wouldn’t voluntarily step forward. He hugged her and kissed her cheek and then held her at arm’s length to look her over. He looked over her shoulder to me and winked. “I always knew she’d turn out to be a real beauty. Just like her momma. I always had a knack for picking the ones with potential. Your grandfather was a damn fool giving her mother to David. What a waste that was. Jayden is going to give you some fine sons.” He released her back to me and gave her a lecherous grin. “I envy you, son. If I was a few years younger I might have taken her for myself.”

His words were in jest, but part of me wanted to attack him for saying them. Something stirred deep inside of me and that old protective instinct I felt for her as a boy kicked in. My father was completely

ruthless when it came to getting something he wanted or breaking someone’s will. I remembered how terrified she was of him as a child. He starred as the main character in most of her nightmares. If he had claimed Jayden for himself, he would have destroyed her.

I turned Jayden toward me, feeling her trembling increase until she was literally shaking trying to hold it together in front of my father and keep her strangled cries silent. I held her close and pressed her face against my chest. Her fists clutched at my jacket and I leaned down, kissing the top of her head.

“Shh. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” I whispered against her hair.

A sense of déjà vu swept over me as I thought of how many times I’d uttered those very words in the past. And how many times I’d failed to keep that promise.

I twisted the ring on my finger and stared out the window, watching the twinkling lights of the airport and city get smaller the higher the plane rose in the evening sky. He’d really done it. He’d tricked me into a wedding ceremony and forced me to sign the license making our marriage legally binding. Three hours ago I signed my life away and became Mrs. Nicholas Harrison, whether I wanted to be or not.

There had even been champagne and cake to celebrate the event.

Before today, I’d held out hope, however slim, of rescue or escape. Now there was none. Somehow I didn’t think divorce would ever be an option. No, even when I died I’d still be his. My tombstone would read “Jayden Harrison – Enslaved wife and mother”. The thought made me shudder.

I turned away from the view and looked around the cabin of the private plane and its other occupants.

Nicholas had his eyes closed for the moment; a self-satisfied smirk graced his lips. He wasn’t asleep, but he was being accommodating by letting me have this time to myself.

Across the plane sat three bodyguards who would accompany us on this mockery of a honeymoon. I snorted, laughing to myself. I guess they were here to watch over me if Nicholas had to use the bathroom since he couldn’t take me into the men’s room.

My conscience had become more and more sarcastic of late. I guess it was my way of coping, because there weren’t many avenues open to me to fight. I was nervous about Nicholas’s expectations of me now that we were married. He’d said before he wouldn’t rape me, but would he still consider it rape now that he was my husband?

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, resting my head against the leather seat. Back in the Dark Ages women couldn’t accuse their husbands of rape, but could they now? Why did I even bother thinking about it? It’s not like I would ever have someone to tell.

Or would I?

I opened my eyes again, making sure Nicholas’s were still closed, and watched the one person who might give me hope from under my lashes. He was one of the bodyguards Nicholas brought with us.

He looked exactly like what one would picture if asked to describe what a murderer looked like. His light brown hair was long and kind of shaggy and his jawline was covered in stubble like he hadn’t bothered to shave in several days. He wore a gold hoop earring and he had some sort of Gaelic symbol and script tattooed on his neck. Even though we were in a plane and it was dark outside, he wore mirrored sunglasses that hid his eyes so you couldn’t tell if they were open or closed. He also had a scar running through his left eyebrow.

He hadn’t given me so much as a nod in acknowledgement, but Katherine’s frantically whispered words before we left the house kept playing over and over in my mind. They echoed what William had whispered when he kissed my cheek.

“Trust the man with the scar.”

Trust him with what? It was all so cryptic. Like something out of a spy novel. Should I dare to get my hopes up that she meant he would help me escape? Why would he want to help me? And if he did, where would I go? Nicholas knew where my family lived so I couldn’t go home and more importantly, what would he do to them if I did escape? No, he wouldn’t help me escape; she must have meant something else.

And why was William saying something like that as well? What was he up to? It must be a trick.

I pushed their words to the back of my mind. There wasn’t any point in getting my hopes up. I didn’t know the man. He worked for Nicholas’s family. There wasn’t anywhere to run. It was time to give up.

Just stick a fork in me and call it done.

I turned my head to the side to stare at Nicholas undisturbed. His head rested against the seat and his eyes had remained closed. I had so many questions and I wondered if I asked, would he answer them?

Was he thinking about me? Why had he married me? He’d already kidnapped me, so obviously I wasn’t going anywhere. Why go through the whole farce of a wedding? Did he really feel that strongly about us belonging together?

Staring at his face in profile I searched for any sign that the boy I knew before was still in there. He wasn’t to blame for what happened to me as a child. My father was the one to sell me and his father was the one to buy me. He was just on the receiving end of that atrocious bargain.

To a confused and terrified five-year-old, he had been my hero and only friend. He told the truth earlier. I suffered horrible nightmares as a child even after Mom and I escaped that caused me to wet the bed most nights. He kept the bathroom light on at night, knowing I was scared of the dark. Nicky never got mad at being woken up by my crying or bedwetting. He would just tuck me into his bed and hold me while he made up stories until I fell asleep.

Just like now. He still held me night while I cried for my family. He still whispered stories to me until I fell asleep.

There were only two differences between then and now. Nicky had been innocent of what happened to me. Nicholas was not. Nicky made up stories about princesses and dragons. Nicholas told me stories about what our life would be like together.

The boy who had been my prince had grown up to become the dragon. There wouldn’t be anyone to save me from the dragon this time. The only one who could slay this dragon was me, if I had the strength to carry through with it.

Would it really be so bad to just give in? I needed to seriously think about this because if I decided to give in there was no going back after that. Nicholas wouldn’t accept half measures if I did. It would have to be all or nothing. Could I do that?

He’d kidnapped me and threatened me, but he’d never actually hurt me. Even when I yelled and fought him, he still didn’t physically hurt me. If I gave in then didn’t it make sense that he’d be nicer? Maybe he’d let me out more and quit chaining my ankle to the bed at night.

He turned his head toward me and opened his eyes. I was captured by his vivid blue eyes that for once held a measure of warmth instead of pure ice in their gaze. He reached up with the hand between us and stroked my cheek with the back of his finger, smiling when I didn’t automatically turn away from

him.

I gave him a small, timid smile, which caused his to widen in response. His hand cupped the back of my neck, slowly drawing me forward as he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. Our eyes remained locked on one another, watching, waiting. I’d already lost everything. My life. My family.

There was only one way forward for me that I could see. I could either have a future filled with misery or make the best of what I had.

Grace’s face came to mind. She looked happy in her life with William and he seemed to really care for her. He was excited about their baby. I could have that or something like it if I just gave Nicholas a chance.

The pressure of his lips lessened as Nicholas began to draw back, never taking his eyes from me. It was now or never. I steeled myself to face my decision head-on. I let my eyelids drop and leaned in just a little farther.

I knew Nicholas recognized my silent surrender by the rumble in his chest and the hand on my neck that tightened slightly, holding me to him. His tongue pressed at my lips and I opened my mouth allowing him entrance. His lips caressed my mouth and his tongue coaxed mine to respond to his gentle strokes.

When I touched his tongue with mine, his head slanted and his mouth opened wider, becoming more demanding. My stomach filled with butterflies and my palms began to sweat. My heart was ready to pound right out of my chest. His hand at my throat slid into my hair, holding my head at the angle he wanted, and I jumped when I felt his other hand on my thigh. I brought my hands up to push him away and whimpered, breaking our kiss.

He rested his forehead against mine, breathing heavily. His eyes were a stormy blue filled with so much passion it scared me. What possessed me to think I could do this?

“Shh, Jayden,” he said, gently. His thumb brushed away tears I didn’t know were falling. “We’ll take it a step at a time. Just let me take care of you. Can you do that for me?”

I took a deep shuddering breath, thankful that he wasn’t angry with me, and nodded. “I-I’m trying.”

My voice sounded so small and uncertain. I was risking so much by giving in and I hoped he understood what I couldn’t say out loud.

He kissed my brow in response. “I know, Jayden. It’ll be all right. I’m going to show you how good we can be together, how it was always meant to be between us. You were made for me.”

I always seemed to be staring out of windows when I thought about the direction my life was taking and here I was doing it again. My life may be in turmoil, but at least the view was nice. I could see a lake from where I was standing. The full moon cast a shimmer over the surface of the water that made it sparkle like diamonds. We were in Austin, which is the capital of Texas, the
Lone Star State
. I remembered that tidbit from geography class in school. People in Texas seemed to be really proud of their state. There were outlines of the state chiseled in the concrete walls on the highway and flags flying everywhere.