The Daughter He Wanted (12 page)

She wouldn’t weaken, not after his actions at the pool and not because she was attracted to him.

“Mama,” Kaylie called from the ball pit. Her wavy hair was still damp from the pool. She wore jeans and a bright yellow T-shirt with a cat printed on the front. “Did you see me count to fifteen in the pool?”

“I already told you I saw it all.” She veered off her path toward Alex to focus on her daughter.

Kaylie blushed. “Just making sure.”

Paige wove her finger through the mesh to massage the little girl’s wet hair. “Great job, Kay. I’m proud of you.”

“Watch!” Kaylie held her nose and disappeared under the balls. She started counting, her voice muffled by the pit, and popped back up when she hit fifteen, spraying balls in every direction. “It’s harder with water but I can even do it without holding my nose.”

“Great, kiddo.” Paige squatted down to be on eye level with her baby.

“Watch again!” Kaylie took a deep breath and pushed out her cheeks until it looked like she had two of the balls in her mouth. Paige cringed at the thought. Kaylie disappeared into the pit again and when she popped up said, “I’ll show you in the water when we go swimming this weekend, ’kay?”

Paige gave her a five-minute warning before turning to Alex. She set her bag on the table. He held a chair out for her and the butterflies beat against her stomach walls once more.

“I appreciate your asking me to come here tonight, especially after I messed up Kaylie’s freestyle.”

Paige waved a hand. “She leveled up, and she’s already forgotten it. Why don’t we?”

When the waitress came by, Paige ordered a soda. Then, because she was desperate to keep the conversational ball rolling, she asked him about the park assignments.

“Back to St. Joe for the rest of the week and then, once we hit November, it will be one park each week on a rotating basis. Winter is our slow time of year.”

“Not many people want to camp in the cold and snow, I imagine.”

“Not a lot. Maybe I’ll take you camping in the spring. You could bring your art supplies.” He waited a beat. “I wouldn’t mind having a Paige Kenner, the original, in my house.”

She eyed him for a second. “Are you flirting with me? Or just trying to make me forget about our little disagreement at the pool?”

He widened his eyes in mock surprise. “Me? Neither. You were clear in the grocery store. Friends, no benefits. Plus, you already said the pool thing was forgotten.”

Paige didn’t believe him for a second, but she also didn’t want to turn into the shrew who always found fault. “In that case you should know my camping skills are nonexistent. Kaylie would love it. Any chance she might see Big Foot?”

Alex laughed. “Not in our parks. From what I understand he likes to stay in the Pacific Northwest.”

Paige relaxed against her chair. This could be okay. Talking to Alex, making plans. Like they’d known each other longer than a week. Like they might be actual friends one day. Friends without attraction buzzing between them. He finished his drink and she found herself mesmerized by the up-and-down motion of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.

Okay, maybe not exactly friends, but that was what the flu-shot theory was about. A few more meetings like this and this weird attraction would be gone.

Or at least under control.

They were quiet for a few minutes. Kaylie squealed in the ball pit, laughing and playing with several other kids. The waitress delivered the pizza and refilled their glasses. Kaylie meandered over to the table. “Just cheese, please, Alex,” she said, holding the plate in her little hands. He put a slice on her plate and she looked at him expectantly.

“More?”

“Cut it up,” she said and plopped the plate on the table before him. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Please,” she added and then grinned. “I forgot.”

“I’ve got it.” Paige cut the slice into bite-size pieces and pushed the plate to Kaylie’s seat across the table. The little girl picked it up and then started for another table, filled with her friends.

“Hey, where are you going?” Paige asked.

Kaylie stuffed a bite of pizza in her mouth. “Kids eat with kids here, Mom,” she said and continued to the smaller table with her friends.

Paige’s tummy clenched and she turned her attention to Alex.

“Pizza’s great,” he said around a bite of food. “Are we supposed to be insulted that she would rather eat with her friends than us?”

“I think we are. She’s never done that before. Tonight is for you two. I’ll call her back.”

Alex shook his head. “Don’t. Let her play. We talked earlier, at the ball pit.”

“Are you sure? I can—”

“Paige, it’s okay.” He reached across the table and stilled her hands with his, and a zing of attraction buzzed along her nerve endings. “We talked about going slow. If you force her to eat at the table because I’m here, it will bring up more questions. So let the kids eat with the kids and we’ll make this table adults only.”

The bite of pizza stuck in her throat at the vision that brought on and she coughed. Took a quick sip of soda and then took another bite. It tasted like rubber in her mouth. The more she chewed, the bigger the piece seemed to grow. Finally, she forced it down with another drink and pushed her plate away. She would eat when she got home.

Or maybe never.

Alex watched her while he finished his first slice and then reached for another. Just like a man not to notice tension thicker than Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, she thought.

“You look nice,” he said.

“This is not a date.”

“I’m not allowed to notice a beautiful woman sharing a table and a pizza with me?”

“You’re supposed to notice the mom with the four-year-old attached to her hip.”

“You’ve raised quite the independent four-year-old. I’ve been around you two twice now, and she’s never been the hide-behind-Mom type.” He finished another slice of pizza. “And those aren’t mom-jeans you’re wearing.”

The zinging feeling along her nerves turned to a pulse that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Paige tried to push the feelings back. “Alex—”

“When I was Kaylie’s age, my mom wore denim jumpers and clogs. When I was a teenager, most of my friends’ moms were into the jogging-outfit thing. My wife wore all kinds of things, and that kept me from noticing any pretty moms in my vicinity. And now I’ve met you, and the jeans might be casual and the top covers everything nicely, but I can’t help noticing the shape of your body underneath.”

Paige swallowed. Her flu-shot theory was imploding fast. She tried to push back against the heat in her belly, but couldn’t. Excitement at his words warred with the cautious voice in her head, telling her to stop his train of thought and turn it around on the tracks.

“I don’t know how to respond to that,” she said finally. “You’re here to get to know Kaylie and...please, can we just keep it at that for a while?”

“Why?” The word was harsh, as if torn from his throat, but the look in his eyes...it wasn’t angry or annoyed. His tawny eyes were curious, maybe a little hurt, and that nearly did her in.

Paige stiffened her spine. “Because of her.” She pointed across the room, to the little girl at the small table laughing with her friends, ignoring the pizza on her plate.

“She seems well-adjusted to me.” He lowered his voice and leaned closer to her across the table. Paige couldn’t stop herself from leaning in, too, just for a moment. “We should have dinner, and not in a crowded pizza place with our daughter a few feet away.”

She had to make him understand but didn’t know how to do that without either telling him every mistake she’d made in the past or every fear that had cropped up since he’d stopped on her curb. Neither could happen. “There is a lot that can go wrong in a romantic relationship. I’ve seen them implode in so many ways and I...I just think, for her sake, it’s better if we don’t get involved.”

“We’re already involved.”

“You know what I mean.” Paige clasped her hands in her lap, refusing to reach out and touch him. Feeling the warmth of his hand against her own that first day had nearly been her undoing. She didn’t think she could take another touch, even an innocent one. “We can be involved as her parents. But we aren’t just a man and a woman without any strings. She is a big string.”

“And once her relationship with me is on firm ground?”

“Then we’ll be friends and we’ll celebrate her birthdays and we’ll figure out a holiday rotation. You won’t even remember when you thought I looked good in these jeans.”

Alex cocked his eyebrow. “I’ll always remember how you look in these jeans.” He touched her chin with his fingertip, just as he’d done in the parking lot. The touch burned but Paige was careful to keep her expression neutral, to not pull away. “For now, I’ll agree with you. I’ll focus on getting to know Kaylie.”

“You’ll see that I’m right.”

“And you’ll see that I am,” he said.

That was the problem, Paige admitted. She was afraid she would start seeing things his way.

* * *

A
LEX TURNED RIGHT
at the stoplight out of habit. The gates were usually closed by now, but they remained open, as if inviting him inside. Maybe this time he’d be able to talk to her. Maybe she could help him figure out why Paige was the first woman in more than three years who made him feel.

He didn’t want to feel. Didn’t like the turmoil that spawned in his belly when her eyes went dark. Didn’t like feeling as if they were on different pages when it came to Kaylie.

Hated that even when they were on different pages, he still wanted her. How messed up was that? He and Dee were always on the same page, it was part of what he loved about her. That, and how she filled out everything from his old T-shirts that she salvaged as nightwear to the one-piece bathing suits she wore at the lake in the summer. He closed his eyes tight, trying to pull an image of Dee, any image, to his mind. He caught the fleeting sound of her laugh as he pulled through the gates and rounded the curve.

He pulled to a stop before her gravestone and sat there, remembering Dee’s laugh but seeing the ghost of Paige’s image before his headlights.

His hands gripped the steering wheel, but he didn’t reach for the door handle. Couldn’t.

How could he tell his wife he was having these feelings for another woman? He hadn’t told her about the one-night stand after the softball tournament. Couldn’t tell her about Kaylie.

Wouldn’t tell her how he felt about Paige. She was not a woman he should date, not now. Probably not ever. He’d been in love. Had had the storybook wedding that still gave him hives. Survived his partner’s death.

He opened his mouth to tell Dee he loved her, but the words wouldn’t come.

He couldn’t lie to her, and while he did love his wife, what he felt for Paige was...different.

Alex sighed.

He put the truck in Drive and wove his way back to the entrance where the night watchman was just closing the gates. Waved as he drove through and continued on to the big house in Park Hills.

Sometimes life as an adult just sucked.

CHAPTER EIGHT

L
ATER THAT WEEK
, Alex pulled into the driveway to his in-laws’ farmhouse and stopped the truck. The white-frame house looked exactly as it had for the past ten years: green shutters, wide front porch. Sue Parker had placed pots of red and orange chrysanthemums on the steps for fall and leaves were finally starting to drift down from the elms in the front yard. Off to the side, the doors to John’s equipment barn were open; he was probably in one of the fields this morning.

Sue exited a side door, wicker laundry basket in her hands, and began hanging clean sheets from the line in the yard. She wore faded jeans, a pink hoodie and Crocs on her feet. Taking advantage of another Indian summer day, Alex mused.

It was so familiar. A few years ago, Deanna would have been sitting on the seat beside him, chattering about nothing important. He rolled his shoulders.

Reluctantly, he put the truck back into gear and continued down the lane to park under a big elm tree. He got out and zipped up his light jacket. Sue poked her head around the line of sheets and smiled.

“Alex. This is a surprise. I didn’t expect you ’til tomorrow.” She wrapped her strong arm around his middle in a tight hug. “But I’ll take it. We don’t get to see enough of you lately.”

As if he hadn’t been here last Saturday or the one before that...or the five hundred before that. It had been their custom, when Dee was alive, to spend Saturday afternoons with her family. He’d kept that tradition after she died because he was used to it. At first, it was comforting to be around people who understood and were content to talk about their own grief, distracting him from his own. Once the scars of Dee’s death began to heal, he simply hadn’t figured out a way to stop coming here every week. Besides, they needed him.

John ran a tight ship, but there was always room for one more set of hands to change the oil in a tractor or help Sue hang a new wallpaper border.

Sue pointed out the mums on the porch and then linked her arm with his. “I picked Deanna’s favorite colors this year. They’re pretty, don’t you think?”

Alex nodded his assent. They were pretty and the fact that chrysanthemums had been Dee’s least favorite shrub didn’t matter. Telling her mother would just be mean.

“What’s John up to today?” he asked as Sue led him inside and set him up with a cup of coffee and a plate of cinnamon rolls left over from breakfast.

“He took one of the four-wheelers out to the corn field. You know, you should go out with him sometime. Like you used to. He’d like that.”

He’d hate it, but again Alex kept quiet. John liked his quiet days in the fields, whether he was planting or harvesting or cultivating. He would return to the barn with the big machines and then take out one of the four-wheelers to look over his work. Making small talk was never on John’s agenda.

“Maybe sometime. I was hoping I’d catch him at the house today, talk to you together.”

“He should be back anytime.” Sue sat beside him, eyes wide, hands suddenly trembling. “Why? You’re okay, aren’t you?” Her gray-streaked hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and little bits of her bangs had escaped to fall over her forehead. The crow’s-feet at the corners of her eyes seemed to deepen and her voice grew shaky. “You’re not sick?”