The Daughter He Wanted (21 page)

Well, when she put it like that... Alex bit back a smile. “We did bring in several thousand dollars for the new stadium with those autographed footballs and baseballs from the St. Louis teams,” he said.

Mrs. Briggs poo-pooed his memory. “What the older people around here need is help. Help putting up decorations, getting all the leaves mulched. Who needs a stupid old football?” She paged through the mass of pictures on the table, not waiting for an answer. “Oh, Sue, what about this one? This would be perfect for the cover, don’t you think?”

Sue picked up the image—a picture of Dee before she got sick—from the scarred Formica. Sniffed and passed it to Alex.

It was the picture he still had on the mantel, and seeing it brought back a host of memories. They’d been on John’s boat at Pomme de Terre for the weekend, fishing. Dee leaned forward in the picture, laughing at something he’d said—what was it that he’d said? Alex couldn’t remember. Even in the black-and-white snap he could tell her eyes were the bluest of blues, that at the end of summer her hair was nearly white-blond. The freckles over her nose stood out in the frame and her hand was at her ear, tucking a lock of hair away.

Alex swallowed. Why was he not feeling anything? No, it wasn’t that he didn’t feel anything, because the love was still there. His fingers traced her jaw and he could almost feel the softness of Dee’s skin. It wasn’t that he felt nothing, it was that the feelings weren’t weighed down by grief and pain now. Alex mentally poked at his heart. A tinge of sadness, but the overwhelming grief that usually took hold when he saw pictures of his wife was gone, replaced by familiar memories.

He slid the snap across the table. “It would make a fine cover,” he said, still probing for something. Some emotion that he understood, that made sense to him. “What kind of book are you making?”

“A remembrance book. Pictures of John and Deanna from the beginning until...until she got sick.” Sue whispered the last word as if the weight of it was too much to speak aloud. “You don’t like it.” Sue’s face was crestfallen and she picked up the picture, tracing her finger over Dee’s face.

Mrs. Briggs stood and put her arm around Sue’s shoulders, hugging her tightly. And still there was no grief over his late wife. He felt sadness for Sue’s loss but that loss didn’t seem like his, not any longer. At least, not like it had a year or even a month before now.

“It is perfect, Sue-sy, he likes it.” Mrs. Briggs shot Alex a look, imploring him to say something.

He reached across the table, unsure what he could say that would make Sue feel better. He swallowed. “It’s a fine present. I might have a few pictures in the attic you’d like to use.”

“See, Sue? Alex thinks this is perfect,” Mrs. Grady joined in, adding her arm around Sue’s shoulders, which were beginning to shake.

And then the pain started. Not because of Deanna or the present but because he was hurting Sue. Just because he was ready to move forward didn’t mean everyone around him was in the same place. Alex took Sue’s hands in his and squeezed.

“Dee would love it.”

And while he wasn’t living in the past anymore, he wouldn’t shut Sue or John out, either. He thought about his date that night with Paige. She had enough family drama from her parents without dealing with his in-laws, too. He could do this, keep his past on one side and his budding relationship with Paige on the other. People did it all the time.

He wouldn’t throw Paige or Kaylie in the Parkers’ faces.

He wouldn’t add more drama to Paige’s life.

He just needed a little separation.

* * *

A
LEX WAS LATE
. Paige paced to the front window and looked up and down the street once more, feeling like a clone of Mrs. Purcell as she peeked through the curtains. The street was quiet and for the first time the absolute silence grated on Paige’s nerves. Where were the skateboarding kids? The teens out for a pleasure cruise in Dad’s car?

Thunder rumbled in the distance. Inside where they should be, that’s where.

Her cell chirped and she looked at the picture of Kaylie back-floating during swim practice. Arms pushing up toward the ceiling. Alex had lain in the backyard, pretend-swimming in the grass less than a week ago, showing her how to reach up and around with her arms. She was getting so good, and part of that was because of him. No, she wouldn’t have called out the way he did, not with that kind of intensity in her voice, but that didn’t make him wrong. Not exactly. Just different, and wasn’t life supposed to be about accepting differences and learning to live with them? Alex had taken his share of differences on the chin—losing his wife, learning about Kaylie. And yet he still wanted to move forward with her.

Paige went over the instructions for dinner and bedtime with the high school girl who babysat Kaylie on the rare evenings Paige had to work late. The two settled into the couch with the tablet and a new game. She looked out the window again.

No blue pickup parked in front of her house.

The grandmother clock in the living room chimed the half hour. Should she text? Call? It didn’t seem like Alex to be this late.

She wiped her palms on the linen legs of her trousers and tucked her hair behind her ears for at least the twentieth time. Maybe she should pull it back...

Paige picked up the phone and then put it back down. She would not call and demand to know where he was, it was silly.

People were late all the time. A honk sounded at the curb and she hurried to the window. Alex.

He jogged up the walk and rang the bell, an apologetic look on his face.

Paige put on her best Disappointed Teacher expression and teasingly said, “You’re late.” Her stomach growled and Alex grinned.

“You’re going to love dinner.” He crooked his arm and Paige slid hers through. “I’m sorry,” he said as he handed her into the truck. “Paperwork.”

“No problem, I was only joking.” She hadn’t been about to melt down, not at all. Just a friendly joke to set the mood. Alex seemed to buy the lie. He slid behind the wheel and drove them out of town. “Are you and Tuck still working on end-of-the-season spreadsheets?”

He cut a glance in her direction. “How did you know what we were working on?”

“I have my mysterious ways.”

“Tuck told Alison?”

“So maybe my ways aren’t so mysterious. At least she didn’t have a private detective watching you.” Alex laughed at that. “What do spreadsheets have to do with rangering?”

Alex explained about visitor numbers and funding, making his job sound much more regimented than the hiking, suntanning and fishing he’d told her about before. She knew he’d only kidded her about the tanning, but this part of his job seemed almost...clerical. It didn’t fit with the vibrant, outdoor guy she’d come to know.

“We used to have a secretary who took care of all that while we did the ranger thing. Budget cuts.” He shrugged. “At least it puts my accounting background to good use.” He pulled onto the interstate road.

“Where are we going?”

“St. Louis.”

“But it’s a Wednesday.” She had school in the morning, an alarm that would sound by six so she could wrangle Kaylie out of bed and get cereal into her tummy before the mad rush to the elementary school. The thought of spending a long evening with Alex was nice, though. An entire evening of adult conversation, some light flirting. Maybe another kiss or two.

She could always double up on the coffee and go to bed at the same time as Kaylie the following evening.

“And a date is a date no matter what evening it falls on. I thought about taking you to the Low Bar or maybe the Chicken Hut in Farmington.” There was something else in his voice, some emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but that made her think tonight wasn’t just a flirting, kissing, first-date kind of thing. Then that note was gone and he was just Alex. “But seeing as we’re adults with a kid and all, I thought real food and atmosphere were called for.”

Paige’s belly did a little flip. Strange note in his voice or not, the way his voice rumbled over the word
atmosphere
pushed her worries to the back of her mind. “And we’re going to find that atmosphere at...”

Alex grinned. “You’ll see in about forty minutes. How was school today?”

He kept her talking and Paige was grateful. The more she talked the less nervous she was about what they were doing. Going out. On a date. Kaylie had a babysitter, and Alex hadn’t yet mentioned their daughter. This was definitely a first date. Which was why the weird anticipation/nervous energy she felt was so off. She’d been on her share of first dates. Maybe not any with these kinds of implications, but in the grand scheme of things a first date was just that and if things didn’t work out...

No, she was not going there. She was staying in the present and thinking about tonight. Not tomorrow or the next day or ten years from now. It was a beautiful Wednesday evening in October and she was twenty-nine for another ten days. That was enough.

As they drove along the interstate the changing leaves caught Paige’s attention. She pulled out her phone to take a couple of pictures. They weren’t great but she could work with them for a school project with her older students or maybe come up with a finger-painting plan for the kindergartners.

Traffic slowed as they drove closer to the city, and as they topped a rise Paige drew in a breath. St. Louis at night was breathtaking, the glowing streetlights like the intricate string of fairy lights she’d hung in Kaylie’s bedroom last year. A million cities around the world probably looked just the same, but for her St. Louis was the best. Brilliant spotlights lit up the Arch in the distance and as they crossed over into downtown she saw two old paddle wheel boats carrying diners up and down the Missouri River.

Of all the places her parents had taken her on vacations, and even when she’d been away at boarding school nearby, St. Louis was the place she thought of when life got to be too much. She rolled down her window just a bit and under the smell of car exhaust she smelled the grass and the river.

Fall in Missouri. It was home.

Alex pulled to a stop before a small bistro near the Arch, handed his keys to the valet and helped Paige from the truck. A hostess in a smart black dress showed them to a table overlooking the river. She had been to nicer places, primarily as a tagalong with her parents, but the combination of view, lighting and Alex paled the other places.

“This is too much.” Her eyes widened. She hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but the words didn’t seem to faze Alex.

He looked over the menu, chose a wine and when the hostess disappeared said, “I promised you atmosphere.”

“A promise of atmosphere doesn’t mean you have to waste an entire paycheck on one dinner.” But it was certainly a lovely way to spend an evening. She could see lights from the river barges and steamboats every so often, and the Arch to her left. Hushed conversations swirled around them, none close enough to hear, but loud enough to drown out the nerves threatening to take her under once more.

“So, here’s how I see this evening playing out,” Alex said, his voice serious and his hands clasped on the crisp linen tablecloth. “We’re going to have a nice dinner and enjoy this great view. Then we’ll turn into pumpkins tomorrow when you go back to elementary school and I hike around the park.” That wicked grin glinted in the soft light and Paige chuckled.

“Is this your way of saying, ‘Enjoy the moment, Paige’?” she asked.

“It is.”

The waitress filled their glasses. Alex held his up. “What do you say?”

Paige waited until she left and then lifted her glass. “I say you forgot one thing we’re going to do tonight.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “You remembered dinner and the great view. You didn’t say anything about a walk along the river.”

“I thought that was implied.”

“I don’t like implications. I like things to be spelled out. Teacher and mom, remember?”

“Then here’s to a night filled with atmosphere, good food and a walk. And since you like things spelled out, a good-night kiss.” Alex clinked his glass against hers.

They placed their orders. Paige wasn’t sure what to say. The old Paige would flirt, keep that kiss conversation going. Maybe play a little footsie under the table. She hadn’t been on a date, not with anyone she was this attracted to, since she’d locked the old Paige in a box and shoved her under the bed. Alex didn’t seem to mind the silence. He looked out the window at the steamboats on the river as if they fascinated him.

He was an outdoors kind of guy. Maybe they did. Why not find out?

“What is it that you do? You know, when you aren’t hiking and suntanning and filling in spreadsheets?”

“I make a killer mac and cheese. The odd last-minute babysitting gig.”

She grinned and sipped the wine. “I’m serious. This is a date. Dates are when people get to know one another. What is it that you do?”

Alex shifted in his chair. “I play basketball, although that used to be a lot more fun than it is now. Bad knee. Tuck keeps asking me to join the Low Bar Bowling League with him but I’m pretty sure joining that league means I have to grow a mullet, so I’ve avoided it so far.”

“A mullet is not a good look. Good idea on the avoidance.”

He grinned. “I thought so.”

“What else?” Paige crossed her legs under the table and her toes curled when they lightly brushed against his khakis.

“I don’t know. I work, I mow the lawn. Nothing incredibly special.”

“Why not something special?” He made her curious, not just because he was holding back. She could see him measuring his words, and that was okay. First date, she reminded herself. And he likely hadn’t been on one in longer than she had. Mostly he made her curious because beneath the laid-back ranger facade she knew there was more to him. A man didn’t just go against family tradition or turn down an accounting degree to hike the Missouri wilderness.

“Hiking is kind of that thing for me. When I’m out there, even though I’m on the job, it isn’t work. It’s me and nature. I guess that’s all I need.”

“I’ve never been much for hiking. Or anything that leads to sweaty, smelly clothes at the end of the day.”