The Definitive Book of Body Language (28 page)

This gesture is a long-distance “hello” greeting signal that has been used everywhere since ancient times. The Eyebrow Flash is universal and is also used by monkeys and apes as a social greeting signal, confirming that it's an inborn gesture. The eyebrows rise rapidly for a split second and then drop again and its purpose is to draw attention to the face so that clear signals can be exchanged. The only culture that doesn't use it is the Japanese, where it's considered improper or impolite and has definite sexual connotations.

The Eyebrow Flash

This is an unconscious signal that acknowledges the other person's presence and is probably linked to the fear reaction of being surprised, or saying, “I'm surprised and afraid of you,” which translates to “I acknowledge you and am not threatening.” We don't Eyebrow Flash strangers we pass in the street or people we don't like, and people who don't give the Eyebrow Flash on initial greeting are perceived as potentially aggressive. Try this simple test and you'll discover firsthand the power of the Eyebrow Flash—sit in the lobby of a hotel and Eyebrow Flash everyone who goes past. You'll see that not only do others return the Flash and smile, many will come over and begin to
talk to you. The golden rule is always Eyebrow Flash people you like or those who you want to like you.

Lowering the eyebrows is how humans show dominance or aggression toward others, whereas raising the eyebrows shows submission. Keating & Keating found that several species of apes and monkeys use exactly the same gestures for the same purpose. They also found that people who intentionally raise their eyebrows are perceived as submissive by both humans and apes, and that those who lower them are perceived as aggressive.

In
Why Men Lie and Women Cry
(Orion) we showed how women widen their eyes by raising their eyebrows and eyelids to create the “baby face” appearance of a small infant. This has a powerful effect on men by releasing hormones into the brain, which stimulate the desire to protect and defend females. Women pluck and redraw their eyebrows higher up the forehead to appear more submissive because, on a subconscious level at least, they know it appeals to men. If men trim their eyebrows they do it from the top of the eyebrow down, to make their eyes appear narrower and more authoritative.

High-placed eyebrows gave Marilyn Monroe a submissive appearance, while
low-set eyebrows gave James Cagney his aggressive look, and JFK's turned-in
eyebrows made him appear both authoritative and concerned

John F. Kennedy had what are known as “medially down-turned” eyebrows, which gave his face a permanently concerned look that appealed to voters. If he'd had big bushy eyebrows like actor James Cagney's, he would have had a less powerful impact on the electorate.

Princess Diana at the age of eight— like most young girls, she silently understood the impact of putting the head down and looking up

Lowering the head and looking up is another submissive gesture that appeals to men because it makes the eyes appear larger and makes a woman appear more childlike. This is because children are so much smaller than adults and spend their looking time gazing up and this creates a parenting reaction in both men and women.

Princess Diana used the “Looking Up” cluster to evoke world
empathy during her marital problems

Princess Diana made an art form out of keeping her chin down while looking up and exposing her vulnerable neck. This childlike gesture cluster triggered maternal and paternal reactions toward her in millions of people, especially when she seemed to be under attack by the British Royal Family People who use these submissive clusters usually don't practice them consciously, but know that when they use them, they get a result.

Marilyn Monroe was the master of using female pre-orgasmic expressions and body language, and she understood, at least on a subconscious level, how it could make most men go weak at the knees

Lowering the eyelids while simultaneously raising the eyebrows, looking up, and slightly parting the lips is a cluster that has been used by women for centuries to show sexual submissiveness. This is one of the trademarks of the sex sirens such as Marilyn Monroe, Deborah Harry, and Sharon Stone.

Not only does this gesture maximize the distance between the eyelid and eyebrows, it also gives the person a mysterious, secretive look and new research shows that this is the expression many women have on their faces immediately before having an orgasm.

It is only when you see “eye-to-eye” with another person that a real basis for communication can be established. While some people can make us feel comfortable when they talk with us, others make us feel ill at ease and some seem untrustworthy. Initially, this has to do with the length of time that they look at us or with how long they hold our gaze as they speak.

Michael Argyle, a pioneer of social psychology and nonverbal communication skills in Britain, found that when Westerners and Europeans talk, their average gaze time is 61 percent, consisting of 41 percent gaze time when talking, 75 percent when listening, and 31 percent mutual gazing. He recorded the average gaze length to be 2.95 seconds and the length of a mutual gaze was 1.18 seconds. We found that the amount of eye contact in a typical conversation ranges from 25 percent to 100 percent, depending on who's talking and what culture they're from. When we talk we maintain 40 to 60 percent eye contact, with an average of 80 percent eye contact when listening. The notable exception to this rule is Japan and some Asian and South American cultures, where extended eye contact is seen as aggressive or disrespectful. The Japanese tend to look away or at your throat, which can be disconcerting for culturally inexperienced Westerners and Europeans.

Argyle found that when person A likes person B, he will look at him a lot. This causes B to think that A likes him, so B will like A in return. In other words, in most cultures, to build a good rapport with another person, your gaze should meet theirs about 60 to 70 percent of the time. This will also cause them to begin to like you. It is not surprising, therefore, that the nervous, timid person who meets our gaze less than one third of the time is rarely trusted. This is also why, in negotiations, dark tinted glasses should be avoided, as they make others feel you are either staring at them or trying to avoid them.

As with most body language and gestures, the length of time that one person gazes at another can be culturally determined. Always be sure to consider cultural circumstances before jumping to conclusions. The safest rule when traveling to places such as Japan is to mirror the gaze time of your hosts.

When two people meet and make eye contact for the first time, it's usually the person who is subordinate who looks away first. This means that
not
looking away becomes a subtle way to deliver a challenge or show disagreement when someone gives their opinion or point of view. Where the status of the other person is higher, however—for example, the person is your boss—you can send a clear message of disagreement by holding his gaze for only several seconds longer than would be usually acceptable. But it's not a good idea to do this regularly with your boss if you want to keep your job.

We sent a group of nonnudists to a nudist colony and filmed where they were looking when they were introduced to new people. All the nonnudist men reported that they had trouble resisting the urge to look down and the video replay showed how obvious it was when they
did
look down. The women said they did not experience these problems and rarely was a woman filmed intentionally gazing toward the nether regions. This is because men are equipped with a form of tunnel vision that makes them far better than women at seeing directly in front of them and over long distances for spotting targets. Most men's close-range and peripheral vision is far poorer than women's, however, which is why men have difficulty seeing things in refrigerators, cupboards, and drawers. Women's peripheral vision extends to at least forty-five degrees to each side, above and below, which means she can appear to be looking at someone's face while, at the same time, she is inspecting their goods and chattels.