The Definitive Book of Body Language (27 page)

Some men have the ability to see
through solid surfaces

Throughout history, we've been preoccupied with the eyes and their effect on human behavior. Eye contact regulates conversation, gives cues of dominance, “He looked down his nose at me,” or forms the basis for suspecting a liar, “Look me in the eye when you say that!” We spend much of our face-to-face time looking at the other person's face, so eye signals are a vital part of being able to read a person's attitude and thoughts. When people meet for the first time they make a series of quick judgments about each other, based largely on what they see.

We use phrases such as “She looked daggers at him,” “He had that gleam in his eye,” “She has big baby eyes,” “He has shifty eyes,” “She has inviting eyes,” “She gave him a look to kill,” “She gave an icy stare,” or “He gave me the evil eye.” We also say a person has Bette Davis eyes, Spanish eyes, bedroom eyes, hard, angry, blank, private, sad, happy, defiant, cold, jealous, unforgiving, and piercing eyes. When we use these phrases
we are unwittingly referring to the size of the person's pupils and to his gaze behavior. The eyes can be the most revealing and accurate of all human communication signals because they are a focal point on the body and the pupils work independently of conscious control.

In given light conditions, your pupils will dilate or contract as your attitude and mood change from positive to negative and vice versa. When someone becomes excited, their pupils can dilate to up to four times their original size. Conversely, an angry, negative mood causes the pupils to contract to what are commonly known as “beady little eyes” or “snake eyes.” Lighter eyes can look more attractive because it's easier to see the dilation taking place.

“Beady” eyes

“Bedroom” eyes

Eckhard Hess, the former head of the Department of Psychology at the University of Chicago and pioneer of the studies of pupillometry found that pupil size is affected by one's general state of arousal. In general, pupil size increases when people view something that stimulates them. Hess found that the pupils of both heterosexual men and women dilate when viewing pinups of the opposite sex and constrict when viewing same-sex pinups. Similar findings have also been obtained when people were asked to look at pleasant or unpleasant pictures including foods, political figures, a disabled child, war scenes, or when listening to music. Hess also found that increases
in pupil size are positively correlated with mental activity associated with problem solving, reaching maximum dilation as a person arrives at the solution.

We applied this research to the business world and demonstrated how people rate models in photographs as more attractive if the photo has been altered to make the pupil area larger. This was an effective way to increase the sales of any product that used a close-up of the face, such as women's cosmetics, hair products, and clothing. Using brochures in a direct-mail campaign, we were able to help increase the direct catalog sales of Revlon lipsticks by 45 percent by enlarging the pupil size of the models in the photographs.

Which picture do you find more attractive?

The eyes are a key signal in courtship and the purpose of eye makeup is to emphasize eye display. If a woman is attracted to a man, she will dilate her pupils at him and he is likely to decode this signal correctly without knowing it. This is why romantic encounters are most successful in dimly lit places, because everyone's pupils dilate and create the impression that couples are interested in each other.

When lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes, they are unknowingly looking for pupil-dilation signals and each becomes excited by the dilation of the other's pupils. Research has shown that when pornographic films are shown to men, their pupils can dilate to almost three times their size. Most women's pupils gave the greatest dilation when looking at pictures of mothers and babies. Young babies and children have larger pupils than adults, and babies' pupils constantly dilate when adults are present in an attempt to look as appealing as possible and therefore receive constant attention. This is why the bestselling children's toys almost always have oversized pupils.

Research also shows that pupil dilation has a reciprocal effect on the person who sees the dilated pupils. Men looking at pictures of women with dilated pupils showed greater pupil dilation than when they looked at pictures of women with constricted pupils.

The ability to decode pupil dilation is hardwired into the brain and happens completely automatically. To test this, cover diagram B with your hand and ask someone to stare at the “pupils” in illustration A. Then switch them to staring at illustration B and you'll see how their pupils dilate to match the illustration, because their brain thinks it's looking at eyes that find it attractive. Women's pupils dilate faster than men's to create rapport with what their brain sees as another person's eyes.

Diagram A

Diagram B

Hess conducted a pupil response experiment by showing five pictures to respondents: a naked male, a naked female, a baby, a mother and baby, and a landscape. Predictably, men's pupils dilated most at the naked female, gay men dilated most at the naked male, but women's pupils dilated most at the picture of the mother and baby, with the naked male picture coming in second.

Tests conducted with expert card players show that fewer games were won by the experts when their opponents wore dark glasses. For example, if an opponent was dealt four aces in a game of poker, his rapid pupil dilation could be unconsciously detected by the expert, who would “sense” he should not bet on the next hand. Dark glasses worn by the opponents eliminated pupil signals and, as a result, the experts won fewer hands than usual.

Pupil decoding was used by the ancient Chinese gem traders who watched for the pupil dilation of their buyers when negotiating prices. Centuries ago, prostitutes put drops of belladonna, a tincture containing atropine, into their eyes to dilate their pupils and to make themselves appear more desirable.

David Bowie has different-colored eyes—one blue and one hazel—and one is permanently dilated; this condition is called heterochromia and it affects 1 percent of the population. Bowie's eye variations are the result of a fistfight over a girlfriend at the age of twelve

An old cliché says, “Look a person in the eye when you talk to them” when you are communicating or negotiating, but it's better to practice “looking them in the pupil,” as the pupils will tell you their real feelings.

Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen at Cambridge University conducted some tests where subjects were shown photographs in which only a narrow strip of the face across both eyes was visible. The subjects were asked to choose between mental states expressed in the photographs such as “friendly,” “relaxed,” “hostile,” and “worried” and attitudes such as “desire for you” and “desire for someone else.”

Statistically, pure guesswork would result in half the answers being correct, but men's average score was 19 out of 25, while women scored 22 out of 25. This test shows that both sexes have a greater ability to decode eye signals than body signals, and that women are better at it than men. Scientists don't yet know how this eye information is sent or decoded, they simply know that we can do it. Autistic people—who are nearly all males—scored the lowest. Autistic brains lack the ability to read people's body language and this is one reason why autistic people have difficulty in forming social relationships, even though many have very high IQs.

Humans are the only primates that have whites of the eye, known as the sclera—apes' eyes are completely dark. The white of the eye evolved as a communication aid to allow humans to see where other people were looking, because direction is linked to emotional states. Women's brains have more hardwiring than men's to read emotions, and one consequence of this is that women have more white of the eye than men. Apes lack eye-whites, which means that their prey don't know where
the ape is looking or whether they have been spotted, giving the ape a greater chance of hunting success.