The Destroyer Book 2 (4 page)

"And you did not love her? It was just . . .”

I did not know how to describe what I felt about Iolarathe, it was not love, at least not in the way Jessmei meant. But it would have been a lie to say she meant nothing to me. She meant everything to me, then.

“No.” I would let her decide what I meant by that as one answer to both of her questions.

"Was she beautiful?" I laughed, remembering that Nadea had asked the same question.

"Why are you laughing? I need to know about my competition for your heart." Jessmei stuck her tongue out at me and giggled.

"Yes, she was beautiful, but it was a long time ago. She is dead. Everyone I knew or loved is dead." I didn't mean to sound so morbid, but it could not be helped.

"Sorry Kaiyer. I forget sometimes about your past." She pulled me back down on the mat with her and stroked my face and hair as she lay on her side.

"How about children?" she asked hesitantly.

"They were trained and educated with our warriors. Parents could be involved if they wanted to be but we had people that cared for them. They were placed in the army, either as soldiers or as support, when they came of age." She nodded.

"Did you have children?"

"No. At least I don't remember. I would think that I would remember them. Don't you?" She nodded in agreement. Then she bit her lip again and looked down at me. I waited for her next question and she took a deep breath before she asked it.

"Do you want to have children?" She could not disguise the eagerness in her voice.

"I always wanted to kill the Ancients and never thought of my life after that. It seems like a logical choice for some. I like children, but I took care of the whole army. In a way I had hundreds of thousands of children."

"What about now? That is all behind you. Do you want children now?"

"I have not considered it. Are you getting at something?" I realized we had been doing the very thing that would end up conceiving children.

"My moon flow should begin today or tomorrow. I wanted to know if I should be excited or disappointed on the outcome." She was carefully studying my face.

"What do you want?" I asked as I reached up and ran my fingers across her face. She closed her eyes and enjoyed my touch for a few moments.

"I am unsure. On one hand I believe that my father and mother would be horrified if I was to have a bastard. On the other hand, the thought of bearing your child makes me very happy. It makes me feel warm all over." She smiled wide enough for me to see her dimples.

"What is a bastard?"

"It is a child born out of marriage or joining."

"Is that bad?"

"It is if you are a member of royalty!" She smirked "My father wants to marry me off to another noble family so we can strengthen our export policies." I recalled her talking briefly about this when we had eaten lunch together and the night we first made love.

"I see. So it would be simpler if you were not pregnant?"

"Yes." She nodded." But that means nothing. Would you be upset if Father asked me to marry someone else?" she stuck her tongue out at me again.

"Yes." I realized that an honest answer might not have been appropriate. I did care for Jessmei, and I would be interested in seeing and raising any child she would give me. However, I had lived my life without the sense of commitment that weighed on her heart. This time we spent together I would always fondly remember. But if circumstances drove us apart I didn't see reason to punish myself.

"So . . . should I make breakfast while you ready the camp?" I was surprised that she wanted to change the subject, but grateful that she wished to continue our journey. I nodded and we set off on our separate tasks.

By the time I readied the horses and packed up our sleeping area she had finished making a small pot of thick oatmeal. It had been our usual fare for the last few weeks, but Jessmei was a capable cook. She always managed to make it tasty and slightly different each morning. Even though I wasn't that picky with my food, I was glad she took the time to prepare it. After a half of an hour we had eaten and loaded the rest of the equipment on the horses. Then we were off toward Nia.

"I will always remember this cave and the time we spent here," Jessmei said looking back from atop her horse as we made our way through the thick forest to the trail that led south. My eyes met hers and I smiled in agreement. It had been a very pleasurable week.

We were in the northern part of Gradar and it would take us another week to get out of the forest and into the milder parts of Nia. We were two miles east of the main highway. I didn't want to risk the roads where the empress might have sent her forces to recapture Jessmei, so we had stuck to small game trails as our means of travel. We hadn't passed many people during the last two weeks. Just a few trappers who eyed us warily and then continued on their way with only a short word of greeting. The lack of contact was fine with me.

The terrain was rocky and covered with tall evergreens. Spots of the ground were still coated with large chunks of snow that had not melted with the heat of yesterday's sun. The forest carried the scent of sap, ice, and wet needles. There were also hundreds of small streams that we used for fresh water and fishing.

The journey was easy and pleasant since Jessmei was very skilled with conversation. She kept me chatting about my past, what memories I could remember, and what kind of food we were going to feast on when we got back to the castle. It was the same topics she had been talking about since we began our journey but I never seemed to get bored speaking with her.

We had been on the small trail heading south for a little over an hour when we decided to break and enjoy a midday meal. There was a good amount of jerked venison left over, enough for probably three more days, a few fish I smoked, and we had found some wild carrots. We were about to mount our horses again when I smelled the blood coming from Jessmei. Almost as soon as I noticed it, she excused herself to the deeper parts of the woods to tend to her menstruation. She returned after ten minutes and mounted her horse without looking at me.

We rode in silence for another hour.

"Do you want to speak about it?" I asked at last. She looked back at me and sighed, and then her frown turned into a smile.

"Sorry Kaiyer. I did not mean to be so quiet. I was just thinking. Sometimes I get emotional during this time. I realize that this is the simplest solution, but for a few hours today I thought about how beautiful our child would be. I was happy that you weren't opposed to the idea so maybe a part of me wanted, well, do you understand?"

"Of course." I had little experience with handling women's emotions. From what I could remember, Alexia and Shlara didn't want to spend time talking about their feelings. I did understand what it was like to want something that would complicate my life.

The trail took us out of the forest and into a grassy clearing that stretched out for almost twenty miles of gentle hills and dales. To our east in the distance was a steep mountain range that looked like teeth jutting out into the sky. Since we were no longer in the shelter of the trees, a brisk breeze made the grass appear to be a wavy emerald ocean. The path widened a mile down the field and I could see half a dozen plumes of smoke from a grove of pines to our west.

"It looks like a village," I said.

"Should we avoid it?"

"Probably. Let's get closer. It might be nice to get some new food." I tapped my horse forward and Jessmei's followed.

"Food and maybe a bath?" She laughed. "The last bath I took was in the river when you saved me. I feel so grimy. I can't believe that you can stand the smell of me."

"You smell great, like flowers."

"We don't have any money do we?" she said with concern.

"No, perhaps we might be able to trade. But if the village is too big we should avoid it."

The village was composed of thirty dwellings circled by a log and mud wall about chest high. There were many shaggy cows around and I guessed it was a dairy village. A few children were sitting on top of the wall and they waved to us as we approached.

"It’s a good sign that children play freely here. We should go talk to them and see if we can get a bed for the night." She nodded in agreement, I didn't want to deny her any pleasure, and the small village seemed harmless.

A middle aged man emerged from behind the wall and looked at us cautiously. He barked a command and the children scattered off of the wall and into the village.

"Good afternoon strangers. What can I help you with?" His voice was strong and had a gravelly quality to it. He looked at Jessmei first, surprised by her beauty, and then his eyes darted to the swords at my side.

"We are travelers en route to Nia. We don't have any money, but would be willing to trade for food and shelter for the night." Jessmei's words flowed smoothly out of her mouth. The man looked at her in shock.

"Why are you going to Nia?" I got the feeling that he didn't like conversing with women.

"That is our destination," I said to him shortly.

"Are you two daft?" He was getting angry. Jessmei turned to look at me and then the man seemed to sense the confusion on her face.

"You haven't heard?" he gasped.

"No. What has happened?" I felt the words leave my mouth and the dread build in my stomach.

"Nia's capital has been conquered by Losher. The king has been killed. The whole country is fucked like a whore that just got her mouth broken--ah sorry, miss." He took off his hat and smiled sheepishly at Jessmei.

"The king is dead?" Jessmei's words were almost softer than a whisper. Her skin looked as pale as it did when she had almost died of hypothermia.

"That's what I heard. The Losher army is still at the city. Supposed to be there all winter. There isn't much food and many people are leaving the capital. There are highwaymen and other atrocities on the main road heading north into Gradar and south into Brilla."

"My father is dead?" Jessmei repeated. Her voice sounded dead and empty. The man seemed confused and looked to me with his face bent in question. I pulled my horse next to hers and managed to grab her as she slumped over her saddle. Her arms wrapped around me and she pushed her face into my chest. The man looked around in embarrassment as she sobbed uncontrollably in my chest. The cries quickly turned to screams of anger as she dug her nails into my arms.

"What about the rest of the royal family? The queen? The duke?" I asked the herder, afraid to even ask of the duchess. My stomach felt like it had ice in it.

"I just know that the king has been killed. I get my news from travelers that have come by." He looked around nervously and I saw a few other villagers take interest in our exchange. A few of the children were also peeking at us from behind the homes. "Is she going to be okay?" he asked sincerely.

"We had not heard of these events. Her family lives in the castle." I ran my hands through her hair and kissed the blonde waves. Her body was shaking against mine.

A middle-aged woman and man walked up behind the man. They pulled him away from us with a smile and apology and whispered to him. They asked him what we were doing here and why the girl was crying. He explained that we had not heard the news of Nia and we were heading there to visit family. Jessmei's frantic cries were getting worse and more villagers seemed to be congregating toward the entrance of the wall to see what the commotion was.

"We can put you and your wife up for a few days," the woman said to me. The other man with her nodded and looked up at us with concern on his weathered face.

"Thank you. We don't have any money but I--“

"No. Don't even think about it lad. She looks devastated and you look like you haven't had a thing to eat in two months. It will be our pleasure. Greta and I don't get many visitors out here and the company will make us happy," the man said. I nodded and tried to smile down at them while Jessmei continued her teary cries of anguish.

"Thank you. I'm Kaiyer and this is Jess." I didn't know if I should use her full name or not but it wouldn't hurt to be too cautious.

"Greta is my wife and I am Rayat. The man you have been speaking with is Ves." I nodded at each of them. Greta and Rayat were probably a dozen years younger than Ves but all three of them possessed the tanned, stout features of ranchers.

They led me to the other side of the town, to a tiled roof house that was one of the largest in the small village. In the back area of the dwelling was a small well, vegetable garden, and a stable that held bays for four horses. A few hundred yards away I saw a broad expanse of wooden fencing and another large barn. Brown cows with shaggy coats dotted the landscape past the fence.

"We've got two horses that my son and daughter are using to survey the herd right now. They will be back at nightfall, so we'll keep one of your horses in the main area when they get back," Rayat said apologetically.

"No worries. Thank you for letting us stay with you." Jessmei had stopped crying but was softly repeating the word “dead” over and over again.

"We'll put you up in my daughter's room. It is this way." They led me through the small front foyer, through a hallway, and into a tiny room with a simple flower embroidered bed that would fit Jessmei's contorted form and little else. I set the princess down carefully on the bed, but she didn't release the death grip on my arms.

"Don't leave me!" she almost screamed. Her voice sounded lost. She tried to pull me down on top of her but my swords got in the way. I pulled the sheathed weapons out of my belt lashing and set them on the floor next to the bed.

"Poor dear," Greta sniffled in an attempt to fight back her own tears. "I'll go get you some warm tea, milk, and soup. Just wait here. We'll be back." Our hosts disappeared, but I heard them whisper to each other.

"That girl is really upset. Do you think it was her parents that died?" Greta asked Rayat.

"Who knows? They both need rest and food. Her husband looks like a walking skeleton. I wonder how long they have been married."

"Bring them this soup and some milk. I'll brew the tea." The woman's voice developed an edge of caution. "Tira and Jiure will be back in a few hours?"