The Devil Has Dimples (23 page)

“The fire.”  Grant and I spoke at the same time.

“What fire?”  Lenny asked.

“The fire that killed Maudie’s friend.  Maudie was standing
next to her husband in the funeral photograph in the newspaper.”

“That couldn’t be, they were only friends.”  Lenny said.

“Lenny, you’ve kept secrets.  What if this was Maudie’s
secret?  What if they slept together?  It would have been right after or around
the funeral, the dates work out.”  Grant said.

“Shit.”  Lenny said.

“Maudie would have been ashamed.”  Margie said.

“Ashamed enough to give away the child?”  I asked.

All three looked at me, the answer in their eyes.

I think that’s when the truth really hit me.  Maudie was
ashamed of me.  Ashamed enough to give me away.  Ashamed to have me in her life.

I crumpled on the sofa and began to cry.  I could hear
chairs scraping backwards.  Then arms enfolded me, hands patted me on the
shoulder.  Murmurs fell on my ears.

“Don’t cry.”  Margie said.

“Ah, shit.”  Lenny said in a soft tone.

I could feel Grant’s breath against my hair as his arms
wrapped even tighter around me.  “Maudie adored you.  She wasn’t ashamed.”

His words entered my brain, spinning it around.  I held back
my sobs and pushed him away so that I could look into his face.

“What do you mean?”

“The photos.  All the pictures she took of you.  She adored
you.  She wanted you in your life, only if it was one dimensional.  There had
to be another reason she gave you up.  I think I know what it was, but we need
to talk to her friend’s husband.  He might know the real reason.”

I felt a glimmer of hope.  “You think so?”

“I think it’s worth a try.”

I smiled weakly.  “Anything’s worth a try.”

Lenny slapped his hands together.  “Come on then.  I know
where this guy lives.”

“Now?”  I squeaked.

“Yes.  Now.  You’re going to be miserable to live with until
you know the truth, let’s finish this.”  Grant said.

I looked into his deep chocolate eyes, there was a warmth
there.  A wondrous warmth that I wanted to slide into.

“Yes, let’s.”  I answered.

* * *

Lenny led the way in his car.  It was determined that Grant
and I would talk to Claude alone.  Lenny and Marge would show us the house,
then leave.

Lenny stopped at a modest house set amongst some tall
trees.  The lawn was trimmed to within an inch of its life.  The borders held
manicured flower beds that reflected an English country charm.  It was
streamlined, yet riotous with autumn color.

Just as riotous as my heartbeat.

Grant parked and we stepped out of the car.  Lenny and
Margie waved their hands at us and left.

We were on our own.

* * *

October 18, 1984

I feel so alone.

I can’t tell him the truth, not now.

It’s too soon after she died.

It’s all such a mistake.

But I’m so happy.

Our baby’s foot is nestled close to my heart.  Every now
and then I feel that thump and I want to shout it to the world.

I’m having a baby.

But I can never tell anyone.

Ever.

I grabbed Grant’s arm before we went up the sidewalk.

“Wait.”

He turned and looked at me, a question in his eyes.

I squeezed his hand.  “I’m afraid.”

He smiled at me.  “Don’t be.  I’m with you all the way on
this.”

Grant started to walk forward and I tugged on his arm again
and he stopped.

He took my hand from his arm and pulled me closer to him. 
His lips touched my fingertips.  A liquid fire raced up my hand and arm clear
down to my nether regions.

What was I going to do with this man?

“Seriously.  This is the last stop.  I don’t care what he
says, the search stops here,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.  Too many people have been hurt already, it’s
time to stop the search.”

“Whatever you want, Sara.”

I gave him a weak grin.  His hand squeezed mine.  We turned
to walk up the front entry.

“He’s home?”  I asked.

“Yes.  Lenny called before we left the house.”

As we approached the door, it opened.

A large man came out onto the porch.  He didn’t look
especially welcoming.

Grant stuck out his hand.  “Mr. Guillot, I’m Grant St.
Romain and this is Sara McLaughlin.”

He stepped closer to me, and I tried to back up a step but
Grant was still holding my hand.

“I’d know you anywhere.”  He reached out his hand and
touched my hair briefly.

“Come in.”

He turned and led us inside.  It was a lot different than
Sedge’s house.  Comfy, well worn, well used.  The living room was
old-fashioned, with doilies on the sofa, and beads hanging from the lampshade. 
Bookshelves were on both sides of the fireplace, a small fire burned inside.

“Excuse me one moment.”  He left the room.

Grant gave me a “what’s up” look and I shrugged.  I walked
around the room and stopped at the bookshelves.  Like Maudie, Claude Guillot
liked books.  These seemed to be well-read.  Mostly history books, from every
period.

“Ah, you discovered my treasures.”

I turned to see him as he held out a photograph to me.

I held it in my hands and saw myself.  At least it looked
like me in a way.  The hairstyle was out of date.  The make-up wrong, the lips
too dark.  But it was like looking at myself.

“My mother, Elizabeth.”  Claude explained.

“Her hair was your color when she was young.  I never
thought I would see the same shade again.”

I sat on the sofa, the picture cradled in my hands.  My
grandmother.  Tears formed in my eyes.

Claude hastily took a hankie out of his pocket and handed it
to me.  It was white.

I wiped away my tears.

“You are my father?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

He looked uncomfortable, shaken.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Grant coughed in the background.

“I didn’t mean it like that.  I’m proud that you’re my
daughter, it’s just that I’ve been a miserable father.”

Grant cleared his throat.  “Could you tell us why Sara was
given up for adoption?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We have the time.”  Grant said.

Claude pulled up a chair next to me.  His long fingers
rested on his knees.  Slowly he began.

“Maudie and I fell in love.  We didn’t mean to.  It just happened. 
One of those things that you think will never happen to you, yet does.”

Oh, he’s absolutely gorgeous.  I think I fell in love at
first sight.  He was standing against the wall.  Looking out of place, yet, he
looked like he knew his place in life.  A scholar.  He was wearing one of those
tweed jackets with the leather elbow patches.  But it wasn’t for effect.  It
was for comfort.  The patches were worn.  The jacket misshapen, as though it
was an old friend and companion.

“I was married to Roberta.  Everyone else called her Bobbie,
but I always called her Roberta.”

He walked over to the fireplace and picked up a pipe.  He
placed a few pinches of tobacco into the bowl and tamped it down with his
forefinger.  Then took a match and lit it.

Puff.  Puff.  Puff.  I don’t know if he was stalling or
what, but watching him perform an ordinary task was comforting.

Once he was prepared, he sat next to me on the sofa.

“She was a flighty woman.  I loved her for a long time,
until I found out the truth about her.  She cheated on me.  Repeatedly.”

That damn Bobbie.  I knew she was married.  But never met
the poor man.  And poor man he was.  He didn’t know that she was loose.  She
went after men like notches on a belt.  Always conniving, always trying to ‘better’
herself.  As if she could.  Naomi slept around.  But you could forgive Naomi. 
She truly enjoyed men, and gave as good as she got.  But Bobbie.  She was a
user.  She didn’t care who got hurt, just so she got what she wanted.

“I decided that a divorce was the only way I could find
myself again.  And then Maudie came into my life.”

“The first time I saw her, I stopped whatever I was doing
and just stared at her.  She was stunning.”

I was wearing a white dress.  Normally, I like bright
colors, but I liked this dress for some reason.  I felt like a princess in it. 
When his glance turned in my direction.  I noticed.  Oh, Lord.  I think my
heart stopped.

“We were at a party at the dean’s house, I was a history
professor at the university, and she burst in and the room came alive.”

What a group of fuddy-duddy professors they were.  Except
for him.  The rest of them jostled for positions to meet me.  Quite a few wives
made haste to collect them and drag them to the bar.  As if I would want to be
bored the rest of my life like they were with their men.  Except for him.  He
stayed against the wall.  I think he might have been afraid of me.  I noticed
Bobbie giving me the evil eye at the bar and made my way over there.

“What a dull sort we were, discussing things that happened
centuries ago, and freshness walked in the door, and none of it mattered anymore.”

“She came over and threw her arms around Roberta, giving her
a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Roberta was livid.  She demanded to be treated ‘like
a professor’s wife’ in public, though privately she was the worst kind of
woman.  A traitor.”

What a stupid scene Bobbie made.  “Treat me with respect,
Maudie.  I’m a professor’s wife.”  Respect.  Bobbie was a fool.  The wall man
finally pushed his way through the crowd, and my heart beat faster.  I waited
for Bobbie to introduce us, but she ignored him completely.  Couldn’t she see
how wonderful he was?

“I stood there like a puppy, waiting to be introduced. 
Roberta must have seen something in my face.  She smiled and totally ignored
me.  She and Maudie talked for a minute, about the whereabouts of their old
friends, then she suddenly turned to me.  ‘Hi,’ she said, ‘my name is Maudie
Cooper, I don’t believe we’ve met.’”

“I stuck out my hand and introduced myself.  Maudie left her
hand in mine for a second too long.  Then Roberta lashed out at both of us.”

He’s married to Bobbie.  This wonderfully delicious man
is married to a viper.  Predictable, Bobbie lashed into both of us, I just met
the man, and Bobbie was accusing us of being overly “familiar” with each
other.  I wondered why?  For a second there, I thought Bobbie would blow it and
hit me.  I laughed.  Bobbie knew I could kick her butt if I wanted.  But her
gentle giant took her away.  I watched after them.  For once in my life, I was
jealous.

“It was embarrassing.  I stood there taking her ridicule,
then Maudie laughed.  Roberta was furious.  I honestly think that she would
have struck Maudie, but I grabbed her hand and took her away from the party.”

It’s strange, after that I kept seeing Bobbie around
campus.  I was taking some history courses in the evening, but not with her
husband, that would have been difficult to explain, even to myself.  And when I
would come out of class.  There was Bobbie.  Staring at me.  I’d wave, and
she’d get angry and stalk off.  I wonder what she was doing?

“Roberta started spying on me, and on Maudie.  Which was
ridiculous.  I was married.  Even though our marriage was essentially over.  My
vows did mean something to me.  I’ve never cheated on my wife.”

“I packed up my belongings and moved back here.  To my
mother’s house.  Then I filed for divorce.”

“It’s strange.  Roberta never wanted me when I lived with
her, but once I was out of her range, she decided she had to have me.”

“She was parked outside when I left for work in the morning,
and was waiting when I came back home.”

“I even saw her several times on campus, lurking about,
following me.”

“She called every night.  At least, I thought it was her. 
The phone would ring, and if my mother answered it, she would hang up
immediately.  If I answered it, there was a long pause, then the phone would go
dead.”

“It was nerve-racking to say the least.  But I knew in my
heart that I could never go back to her.  The love just wasn’t there.”

Was I shocked.  I went to Hank’s to eat and there he
was.  He was dining with his mother, a great woman.  We used to play bridge
together, and Elizabeth invited me to join them.  I hesitated, then I saw the
look of longing on his face.  I was a goner then.  I sat.

“Then I saw Maudie again.  It was all quite innocent. 
Mother and I went out to Hank’s to eat dinner one night, and Maudie was going
in at the same time.  Alone.”

“Mother invited her to eat with us.”

“I was secretly thrilled, and terrified.  I knew that if
Roberta found out that there would be holy hell to pay.  But for some reason,
it was worth it to be in Maudie’s company.”

It was the most wonderful night of my life.  Elizabeth
and I talked away, dominating the conversation.  He seems so shy, but his
eyes.  It was like looking into his soul.

“I’m sure that she thought I was a stick-in-the-mud.  I
don’t think I uttered a word during the whole meal.  Mother and she carried on
the conversation, and I was more than happy to just be there.”

“As she left, Mother invited her to dinner after Sunday
services and Maudie agreed.”

“Again, I was thrilled and terrified.  Roberta generally
left us alone on Sundays, but there was no way I could be sure of her
intentions.”