The Director (Hollywood Nights) (8 page)

He was counting down the minutes
to get back to her place. He was too anxious and eventually he did break down
and smoke. The electronic version used water vapor and didn’t leave the smell
of smoke behind. He ate cinnamon mints compulsively, just in case, to erase any
trace of his dirty little secret. He had driven around the block three times
already. When he was actually standing with her, he could be calm, cool, and in
control. Away from her, he stressed over her thoughts of him. He wanted her
approval. He wanted her.

He rang the doorbell and reminded
himself that no matter what she was wearing, they absolutely had to go to this
thing. He could not walk her back into the house and spend another day indulging
in her flesh. He was well beyond his physical limits, yet they seemed to find
more to extract every time they got together. His body ached in places he
forgot he had muscles.
 
 

           
She must have felt the same because
she didn’t open the door all the way before she was stepping out of it. She was
gorgeous, but he couldn’t tell her that. Instead he said, “If it wasn’t for
that sweatshirt in your hand, I don’t know if I could be seen with you.”

           
“This old thing?” She looked at the
hoodie he had given her that first night and then at him. He had picked out his
favorite because he knew he would have to retrieve it at some point. He’d had
that hoodie longer than he’d had most of his friends. “Some guy gave this to
me.”

           
“Some guy?” he whispered as he leaned
in and gave her a welcome hug and kiss.

           
She winked at him. Her green eyes
still captured his soul each time she looked at him. He slid his hand down her
arm and clasped her fingers. “I hope you like barbecue.”

           
“Of course I do,” she said with a
smile. “Frankie took her car back?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t like driving
Jonas’s cars either. I figured I might be around long enough, I picked this one
up.” He walked the short distance to the SUV and opened the door for her. He
watched as her sleek legs moved into the vehicle. She was wearing a denim
skirt, not long, but not short, a pair of designer label, white flip flops, and
a pretty blue and white shirt. She pulled his sweatshirt into her lap and
settled her name brand wristlet on top of it. She had a pair of sunglasses
pushed up on her head and her dark hair was down. She had left it wavy and he
resisted the urge to run his hands through it. He liked it best natural.

“New car smell,” she said and
inhaled. He was ever so grateful for technology at that moment. Real cigarettes
would have erased that smell. He got into the car and reached in the back seat.
He handed her the small bouquet of daisies. She accepted them with a surprised
smile and a, “Thank you.”

           
He didn’t want to tell her he also
hoped when he left for New York he would be driving it and most of her stuff
would be coming with them. It was too early for that.

“They are a particularly ugly
flower, so I thought you might like them,” he teased.

           
“I do,” she blushed. “Daisies and
Lilly’s are my favorites. I don’t like roses so much. They remind me of my
grandmother’s funeral. Everyone sent roses. I only like them on rose bushes
because that’s where she loved them the most.”

           
He was really glad he didn’t pick up
the roses. He considered it, but then thought about beauty and tradition, and knew
that wasn’t going to work well with Shay. He started the car and began the
drive to his mother’s house. He hadn’t told her where they were going, just
what they were going to do. It was a big deal. Everyone would be there. Even
his parents had moved on and started dating. He didn’t want to go alone. He was
tired of being the odd man out.

Well, he was always a little odd.
As he watched his younger siblings move on with life he couldn’t help wonder
when he too could move on. Janice was married with one son and another child on
the way. Jonas was married to Frankie and they were expecting a baby too. Jed
never really fit in with his younger siblings.

He always looked out for them, he
loved them, he was happy for them, but they never really understood why he
couldn’t get back in front of a camera and pretend everything was okay after
his girlfriend committed suicide. They never understood how much he had loved
her. How a part of him had died with her. A part of him that was being
resurrected the more time he spent with Shay.

           
“Hey,” he said and reached across
the seat to hold her hand. “Tell me something new about you.”

           
“I’ve taken a considerable interest
in researching a certain person,” she said and gave his hand a squeeze.

           
“You can ask me anything. I don’t
mind telling you,” he said. “I mean it. I won’t lie to you.”

           
“What has been your favorite project
to work on so far?” she asked.

           
That was easy and a relief. He could
talk to her about the various films he had been a part of all night.

***

Shay was learning a lot about the
reason Jed chose to work on particular projects. She listened to him talk all
the way to the house they were going to. It was easy to do. His voice was
seductive even when he wasn’t trying to seduce. He said, “I just want to do
things that matter.”

She was listening, but became
anxious as they pulled down a considerable driveway. She noticed how the cars
were lined up. It became obvious that there was a valet service. Jed pulled
into the row of vehicles and put the car in park. He stepped out and came
around to her side. She realized he left the keys in the car.
 

“Jed,” she said as she gripped
her wristlet and his hoodie for dear life. This wasn’t what she expected. She
thought he meant a barbecue like she would mean barbecue. A place with a few
people he knew, not an event. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a barbecue. My mom hosts it
every year. They raise money for a few children’s charities.” He slid his hand
down her arm in that way he liked to do and said, “There is every kind of
barbecue you can think of. Why do you look nervous all of a sudden?”

“Because I am,” she admitted.

“Shay, it’s just a barbecue.” He
tugged at her hand and she took a tentative step forward.

“Wait,” she stalled. He stopped,
looked at her curiously. “Is Frankie in there?”

He shrugged.

“Jed,” she whispered. “She
doesn’t know about us. I can’t just show up like this.”

“This is
my
family, Shay. Besides, there are a ton of people here from the
film. If she is here now or later she will just think you got the invite like
everyone else.” He tugged her hand again.

“Not if I’m holding your hand.”
She let his fingers go. He sighed in defeat but let her walk beside him instead
of holding his hand. The closer they got to the crowd of people near the entry
the more anxious she became. The more she wanted to hold on to him for support
but didn’t. She gripped the hoodie like a lifeline.

“Shay!” Frankie smiled and waved
at her the moment she stepped out into the back yard. She smiled back. Jed had
stopped to talk to someone, so she took the opportunity to distance herself
from him a moment and say hello to Frankie and Jonas. Maybe after she said hi
she would get lost in the crowd and he would find her and…

“Hi,” she said as she came to a
stop in front of them. “How was the honeymoon?”

“We had a good week…” Jonas said
as his voice trailed off.

Frankie looked at Jonas. Shay
looked at Jonas. They both noticed he was looking at Shay. More specific, he
was looking at what she had in her hand. She was sure she and Frankie looked
down at the hoodie at the same time. They also looked up at the same time to
meet eye to eye again.

“Shay?” Frankie tilted her head
and asked, “Um, where did you get that?”

“I gave it to her,” Jed said as
he stepped closer to her side. He put his hand on the small of her back. She
was instantly relieved to have him there and worried that this was going to go
over badly. She brought the sweatshirt because it was supposed to get chilly
tonight, because it still smelled like him, and because she wanted him to know
she cared that he had given it to her to wear. She did not know it was a red
flag to wave at everyone announcing that to the world.

Jonas looked at Frankie. Shay
realized something right then and there. Jonas relied on Frankie’s judgment to
determine his reaction to this situation.
 
He didn’t look at his big brother, he looked at his wife. She was happy
for Frankie that Jonas was that much in love. She was sad for Jed, because he
was his big brother, and wondered, shouldn’t that count for something?

“Do you want to take a walk with
me?” Frankie asked with a mix of emotion on her pretty face. She wore just a
hint more make-up these days. She also put more thought into her outfits. Jonas
had been good for Frankie. Shay wouldn’t deny that.

“Maybe later, Frankie.” He
answered for her. Jed was not cowed like his brother. He nudged Shay forward
with a press of his hand to her back, “We’re hungry.”

Shay wasn’t sure she liked the
surprise on Frankie’s face. Maybe it was because of the sight of them together.
Maybe it was because she moved at his touch and allowed him to speak for her.
She had never been submissive in her life prior to Jed. She watched Frankie’s
expression. Shay knew things could go either way from that point. She also knew
whether the couple was happy or mad about it, Jed didn’t care. She let Jed
guide her to the tents where the food was being served.
 
 
  

They were stopped about a hundred
times on the way so she wasn’t able to address the situation. She was surprised
and overwhelmed by the fact that he introduced her to every single person they
met. By the time they were at the row of tents where the food was, she was in
fact starving and more focused on the rumble of her stomach than worried about
Frankie.

“Tell me what you want, babe.” He
held two plates in his hands and looked at her.

 
“Babe?”

“Are you here with me?” he asked
with a bit of mischief in his eye.

“Yes.” She was with him. God help
her, she was there with him for the entire world to see.

He smiled at her, the plates
moved to one of his hands and the free hand moved to her waist as he leaned
down and kissed her full on the lips. Shay knew for sure no one besides
Frankie, Jonas, Jed, and maybe a few other people from the set of Jonas’s movie
had any idea who she was when they had walked in.
 
Everyone would know who she was by the time
they walked out. Jed wasn’t a ‘nobody’ in the movie industry. He just wasn’t an
actor anymore.

Jed was cordial, but once he sat
down to eat, it was as though an invisible gate had been put up. People didn’t
bother them. They were able to relax for a few moments.

“This is really good,” she said.

“This one’s better,” he said as
he offered her a bite.

Jed was neither ashamed to be
there with her nor trying to be subtle about his intentions towards her. She
was both flattered and frightened. He wasn’t going to stay in Los Angeles. She
knew that. She had to re-think her entire life plan just because he had entered
into it. She wasn’t sure if was aware of how much his actions resembled that of
a committed man. She tried to remind herself that in all the research she had completed
on Jed Gunner, there was never mention of another woman past his teen years.

She did know that his girlfriend
has committed suicide. It was due to the horrible things people said about her
in the press. She wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough and more.
They bullied the girl in school because everyone wanted to be her…to be with
him. She wasn’t ready to ask him about it. She was afraid of what she would
discover. Especially now, when she suspected the scar on his wrist was there
for a reason she didn’t want to think possible.

“Why is it that when you are up
and moving, you can’t walk three steps without someone talking to you, but when
you sit to eat everyone has given you a five step boundary that no one seems to
cross?” She had to ask.

He shrugged with a smirk and
said, “Because when I am up and moving at an event it is natural for people to
stop and talk to you. When I sit down with someone, it means I am talking to
who I want to speak with. If they are not related to me I am not interested in
being interrupted. It is easier for people to just stay away than for me to
tell them to go away.”

“You’d do that?” She was shocked.
In a world where she would never think of telling someone interested in her
career to go away, it was hard to understand how he could do that.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh.
“I’ve done that. I’m entitled to sit down and eat. I want to catch up with
someone without being interrupted to say hi to someone else. It’s rude.
Hollywood has no manners unless you demand them. I don’t like half of these
people. They are fake, greedy, and could care less about these organizations.
They care about being here, being seen here. It is part of the gig, I get it. I
just don’t like it.”

“Oh,” she said with a gulp of
self-consciousness. She as suddenly wishing she could go back in time and take
back the time she interrupted an actor to tell him that he did amazing in a
role. She said it because she thought he would like to know that fans liked his
work. He was in his late sixties and the role was edgy. He seemed to appreciate
her comment. Then again, he was an actor.