The Director's Cut (12 page)

I’m still wondering at this when James plucks out the last paper.

“When my father remarried,” he reads, “I was so upset, that I refused to meet my new stepbrother.”

Wow
. Is that James? Or Callum? I find myself glancing between the two, trying to work out who looks the most affected.

I have no idea about Callum’s background. I don’t know if his parents divorced or remarried.

And I know that James did meet at least one of his stepbrothers. Ben. Did he have any other stepbrothers? I have no idea.

On measure, I decide, Callum looks the most moved by this statement.

“Betrayal,” says Natalie. “The person felt their father had betrayed them by remarrying.”

“Pain,” I suggest, “that a new brother is being brought into the family.”

Neither Callum nor James speak. And James quietly returns the paper to the bag.

“I have something to share with you,” he says, “about that exercise.”

We all stare at him expectantly.

“It was interesting to hear you all voice different emotions,” he says, “and I am very grateful that you have all been so honest.”

His eyes settle on Natalie for this last part.

“But I thought you would be interested to know,” he concludes, “that you all had the same emotion to draw upon.”

What?
A ripple of surprise goes around the room.

James nods.

“All of you had the word ‘shame’ written down.”

Wow. Really? I can’t believe that those other memories were prompted by that word.

On either side of me, I see Callum and Natalie’s faces work around this new piece of information. I’m doing the same.

The revelation throws all the other admissions into stark relief.
All of those memories. They were things people were ashamed of?

I let my mind track back. Stealing from your family to buy drugs. I can understand that would be shameful.
But Natalie’s memory. Of her father deserting her. She feels ashamed of that? Why?

The
new understanding prompts another wave of feeling towards her.

And refusing to meet a stepbrother after a remarriage.
It seems… excessive to be ashamed of that. It’s not beyond the realms of understanding, after all.

“So,” James is saying, “does anyone have anything to add with that new piece of information?”

There’s a brief pause, and then I clear my throat to speak.

“Isabella?” asks James. He sounds surprised.

“I think,” I say slowly, “that the memories I heard didn’t sound shameful. They sounded sad. So perhaps we’re harder on ourselves than others would be.”

My own memory is racing through my head as I speak. Should I reconsider the shamefulness of my
own actions?

James is nodding. He looks pleased.

“That is exactly what I want you to start thinking,” he says. “Most people feel worse about their behaviour than we give them credit for. As actors, you can use that knowledge to add real texture to your roles.”

We’re all
taking this in.

“Think
about the hidden things your character might be feeling,” adds James. “I hope you’ll find it helpful.”

It has been helpful. And I am struck with deep pride for James. He really knows how to expand an actor’s sensibilities.

The exercise has really opened my eyes. It’s done something else too. It’s made me think so much better of Natalie.

“We’ll wrap up there,” James is saying
. “There’s a buffet in the next room, and we can grab a bite to eat. Thank you all for participating. I hope you can apply what we’ve learned.”

We stand, and Callum and I smile at one another. Then I make towards Natalie.

“Hey,” I say, touching her arm, “that was really brave of you, to be so honest about your memories.”

Natalie gives me a shy smile.

“Oh, well, you know,” she says softly, “I’ve just come from rehab. It probably comes easier to me. Rehashing all that shameful stuff.”

She glances up and me, and her d
eep green eyes look intensely vulnerable.

“All the same,” I insist
, “I really admire you for doing it.”

Natalie’s
face transforms into gratitude.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, playing with her hair. “That means a lot.”

Chapter 12

I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until we stepped into the buffet room. But when the smell hits me, I feel suddenly famished.

The nerves of revealing parts of my past must have subdued my appetite, I realise. But now it’s over with, and nothing terrible happened, I am ready to eat.

As we enter the room, we see the rest of the cast has already arrived. I grin
. Lorna is talking to a young male props handler who I recognise from our early rehearsals.

“Shall we get some food?” asks Callum. This time, he’s including Natalie in the conversation. And I realise that the Berkeley Method is having the same effect on him as it is on me. It’s making him warm towards Natalie Ennis.

Who’d have thought it?

I smile to myself, wondering if this isn’t part of James’s genius.

“Sure,” replies Natalie. She stares over at the buffet.

“Bread,” she says with a grin. “Goody.”

Knowing her usual refusal to have carbs in her presence, Callum and I exchange glances. Maybe the Method is working on Natalie too.

James has
gone back to his hotel room, and I find myself wondering whether this is deliberate, to further bonding between the rest of us.

Callum and Natalie drift to the buffet, but I
head over to where Lorna is standing, telling them I’ll be back in a minute.

Lorna turns and notices me in the last few seconds before I reach her.

“Hey, Issy!” She grins at me. “Come meet David. He’ll be making your props. Sounds like an amazing job.”

“We’ve met already,” I smile, shaking David’s hand.
I remember him from before. He looks uncertain as he returns my handshake.

“Hi,” he mumbles shyly.

“Hey listen, Lorna,” I say. “I’m just going to grab a plate of food. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Sure,” she smiles. “Make sure you load up. The food’s amazing. In fact,” she adds
, “would you grab me another piece of chicken?”

“Sure,” I reply
. “David, would you like anything?”

David looks surprised. Flustered even. I judge him to be in his early twenties, around the same age as me.
So I can’t imagine why I would have that effect.

“Um. No. Thank you
,” he manages.

Lorna winks at me. “There’s no need to be star
-struck,” she says to David, “Issy is normal. I promise.”

I widen my eyes at Lorna, but she just grins back.

“Better get used to it, Ms Leading Lady,” she says. “Take it from me. I’ve been with the extras and crew all day. You’ve got a lot of fans already.”

Poor David flushes red.

“Oh, ok,” I babble, unsure of what to say. “I’ll be right back with your chicken,” I manage, heading for the buffet.

F
ans? I’m not sure how to handle that.

My mind is spinning with how I would cope with any level of fame, since it makes me uncomfortable to have admirers in the crew. But my need for food soon takes over.

I grab a plate and bunch in next to Natalie and Callum. From the pile on his plate, Callum has taken full advantage of Will’s absence to load up on carbs.

Natalie’s plate only has salad on it.

“Whoa, Callum,” I joke, helping myself to some vegetables and chicken. “Looks like a carb binge.”

“Don’t tell Will,” he says, flicking his eyes back and forth in pretend terror.

I glance back at Natalie’s plate. I don’t feel close enough to her to ask if she plans on eating anything besides salad. So I concentrate on stacking up my own food.

The choice is incredible, and I have to restrain myself from trying a little of everything. Instead
, I aim for a compromise. Rice and vegetables, with a decent sized piece of fried chicken. And one extra for Lorna.

For a moment, I think that Natalie might join us to eat. But she heads over to a little cluster of her entourage instead.

Callum raises his eyebrows at me.

“We can’t expect her to change overnight,” he says.

I nod, and Callum joins me as we head to join Lorna and the props handler.

“Hello
, Mr Reed,” says Lorna, almost tripping as she dives forward to shake his hand.

Callum is encumbered by his buffet plate
, so he balances it on one palm as Lorna pumps his palm enthusiastically.

“I have
always
wanted to meet you,” enthuses Lorna. “I am a huge fan. I love your movies.”

“Thank you,” says Callum, smiling.
“You’re very kind.” I glance at his face, struck by the grace and ease at which he deals with this all.

As a normal person coming into the scenario, I am suddenly realising how very strange it is to have perfect strangers
approach you in this way.

David the props handler is obviously overcome with nerves, and Callum introduces himself politely and strikes up a conversation about the movie.

I turn to Lorna.

“Do you have any plans for later?
”

I’m wondering if I can squeeze in a drink with her between rehearsing my lines for tomorrow.

Lorna looks guilty.

“Um. Yeah. I
kinda do.”

I glance at David.

“You’re going out with the props guy?” I whisper, leaning in close. That might be a good match, I decide.

But Lorna is shaking her head.

“No. It’s not like that. We’re just friends.” She takes a breath. “Ok, Issy, don’t get mad. But Ben is taking me out.”

“Ben
Gracey?”

Of course I know which Ben she’s referring to. But I’m so
shocked, the words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Callum turns fractionally at my outburst, and then returns to quizzing David about the props.

“Yeah…” Lorna is twirling a strand of her Afro hair into a single perfect curl.

“How did he get here?”
I demand.

“I told him I was out here on the movie, and he flew out earlier today,” says Lorna, defensively.

“Did you clear it with James?”

“No… but…”

“Lorna!”

“Listen,” she says, her eyes flashing, “Ben doesn’t need to ask permission to fly to Barcelona to see his girlfriend.”

“You’re his girlfriend now?”

Something about this isn’t adding up. Why is he suddenly calling Lorna his girlfriend?

“That’s what he said.”

“Why is he suddenly so keen?” I ask suspiciously. “I thought he was hot and cold.”

Lorna’s face tightens in annoyance.

“It is possible, you know,” she says, “that a man could like me.”

“I…” I open my mouth to protest, but she carries on talking.

“We might not be a movie star couple like you and…” she stops herself, seeing my face flash a warning glance towards David.

“Well, you know what
I mean,” she finishes. “Anyway. I told him I was in a movie, and he flew out earlier today. Simple as that.”

“You told him you were in a movie?”

Something is beginning to lock into place in my mind.

“Yes.”

“Did you say which movie?”

“Of course,” replies Lorna.
“Well. Not the name. But I told him James Berkeley was producing it.”

My whirling thoughts are fitting together. Ben flew
out today. Then a reporter arrived in Barcelona.

Something tells me this is too much of a coincidence. Ben was one of the few other people who could have made the connection between James and I.

I know he doesn’t like James. This would be the perfect way to hurt him.

Suddenly
I’m certain.

Ben
Gracey is the leak.

I need to tell James. Now.

Chapter 13

For a long moment, I think James might no
t open his door. And then the handle turns, and I see his handsome face deep with worry.

He has his mobile phone in his hand, as though he’s just been making a call.

“Issy? What is it?”

I push past him into the room. And when he shuts the door, I turn to make my revelation.

“It’s Ben,” I say, still slightly breathless from running up the stairs. “I think Ben Gracey is leaking information to the press.”