The Disappearance of Ember Crow (25 page)

Ember seized hold of me. “Come on!”

We charged past the guards, who were tottering around blindly, and pelted into the night.

“Where are we going?” Ember panted.

Good question. “Jules has this trader pod, only I’m not sure I can find the way there. It’s near the taffa market though. Do you know where that is?”

“Yes. Follow me.”

We sprinted along the well-lit streets. It wouldn’t be hard for any pursuers to locate us. I cast a worried glance over my shoulder.

“Those guards won’t be able to see again for another hour,” Ember puffed, “and everyone … will be waiting for Terence … to give them orders. He won’t be doing that for a while. I think we’re okay.”

“What about Delta? Do we have to worry about her chasing after us?”

Ember shook her head. “I’ve been working on her … reminding her … of all the things she didn’t like about Dad. She was already … losing enthusiasm … for bringing him back. Besides, she’s going to be … too busy making Terence suffer … to think about anything else … for quite some time.”

I nodded. Another few blocks and the two of us slowed to a jog; we had to make it all the way across the city and we couldn’t run flat out for the entire distance. We went on, saying nothing as we both concentrated on getting far away from the house.

It wasn’t difficult to tell when we were approaching the market. The smell of taffa grew stronger, and the streets more crowded. Eventually there were so many people about that we dropped to a walk so we could merge with the masses. Jogging was beginning to make us conspicuous; strolling, we were indistinguishable from the rest.

“Ash?” Ember leaned closer to me. “Are you sure you want me to come back? I could still–”

“I know how Dominic died, Em.”

She stopped dead. I yanked her along. “Keep moving.”

“How do you know?” she breathed

“Nicky told me himself. Sort of. I can see him in my head, same as when he was the machine.”

“You can see him in your head? I don’t even know how he’s doing that!”

“Well, I’m glad he is. How could you not tell me? You know I get what it’s like to do something crazy when someone you love is murdered!”

“It was more than crazy. It was unforgiveable, and
why
I did it makes no difference.”

“It makes a difference to me. And you’re not the only Tribe member with a past. Yours is just a little more … epic.” A lot of the Tribe hadn’t had the best of times in the cities and towns, and they hadn’t been the best of people either. “You know how it goes, Em. Before is nothing. All that matters is what Tribe members do with their lives once they’ve been given a chance to
have
a life. And you – you made a bad choice once. But,” I concluded firmly, “you’ve been making good choices for as long as I’ve known you.”

She was quiet. Then: “Ashala Wolf.” I could hear the affection in her voice, and the awe. “Everyone’s second chance. Even Nicky’s.”

“You’re the one that built him a body,” I pointed out.

“A body is nothing without a consciousness, and he didn’t have one. I think you brought him back, Ash.”

“Pretty sure I can’t do that, Em.”

“You brought Connor back.”

“
Grandpa
brought Connor back.”

“He still worked through you. And they hooked your brain up to the box in the centre, the same brain that lets you transform reality when you Sleepwalk. You saw the machine as a dog, and that’s what he became. When I opened up that box, my brother was there. Only not quite as I’d known him.”

“Did you
know
the machine was Nicky, before I went into–”

“I had no idea! Terence must have been funnelling Neville advanced tech to use on Illegals. Neville was always a big supporter of his, when Terence was … um, I guess you know he was the Prime.”

“Yeah. And that’s number one on the list of things you should have told me, by the way.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I nodded and let it go. I didn’t have the time to pursue it, and I didn’t want to; not when I had so many other things to think about.
Did I really bring Nicky back?
I wasn’t sure, but I hoped I had. Because I understood, now, that he’d brought me back – not from the dead, but to myself, when I’d wandered too far from who I was.
Those Sleepwalking dreams, back in the Firstwood
. The nightmare where people who didn’t love me had been tearing me apart … Nicky had been showing me his death, and the importance of holding on to love when you found it. And the later dream, the one about being a monster who was forced to hunt – that was what had happened to him when he’d been the machine. In the centre, when I’d freed him from Miriam Grey’s control, I’d told him he was a good dog. In my dream, he’d given that same reassurance to me.
You are good
.

I’d thought the forest had been reaching out to help me heal my ability. It had been Nicky all along.

I had to get home to him. I had to get home to everyone.

“Em, did you know Neville and Grey are coming to the centre? They’re holding the Adjustment there, in less than three weeks time. And I had this horrible dream about Neville. I think it was a taffa dream. A warning.”

“We’ll be home before the Adjustment,” she said. I recognised her tone of voice; it was her bracing, everything-will-be-okay tone. We were falling into a familiar pattern, of sharing worries and comfort. “And I’m not sure taffa dreams mean anything, Ash. You’ve probably heard about them a lot since you’ve been here, because they’re the particular obsession of someone in this city, only–”

“You know the Lion?”

“Of course! Wait, you do?”

“He got us into the house. Jules traded some rare beans for his help.”

“
Beans?
He should’ve helped for free if he thought I was in trouble!”

“I don’t think he does anything for free – and I’m not sure he was convinced you were in trouble. How do you know him anyway?”

“Ah. That’s – I mean – Ash, he’s my brother.”

It was my turn to stop in the middle of the street, and Ember’s to tug me along. “
Which one?
” I demanded.

“Five.”

Five to nourish land and heart
. Yes, I could see that being Leo. And he was high on the list of those who could be trusted, right after Dominic and Em. I sighed in relief.

Then I scowled. “Got anything
else
to tell me?” I wasn’t sure if it was because everything was finally sinking in, but I was beginning to feel cross. “Any more relatives hanging about this place?”

“No. I’m sorry, Ash. I was going to send you a message telling you where every one of my family was, once I had a location on them all.”

“You should have told me years ago.”

“I know, and hush!”

I had spoken too loudly. But I was suddenly, overwhelmingly angry at her for hiding things from me, for not having any faith in me, for …
oh
.

“Em. Sorry. It’s not me. Well, not entirely. It’s Connor.”

“What?”

“I’m picking up on what he’s feeling. He’s somewhere nearby. And he’s
really
mad.”

I orientated myself on the sense of approaching fury, and headed towards it. “This way.”

“Why is he so angry?”

“Probably because I shot him.”

“You
shot
him?”

“With the stunner. I didn’t want him coming to the house; I was worried he’d go after Terence.”

“Ash …”

“I had to keep him safe.” I sounded defensive, even to myself. “I mean I – it seemed like the right thing to do. At the time.”

We made our way into another street – and there was Connor, racing towards us with two yellow-robed figures following behind.

“Are you all right?” he demanded, tearing up to me.

“I’m totally fine.”

He pulled me into the light of a streetlamp, scanning my face. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him, because he nodded and took a step back. I knew he’d wait to yell at me later when we were alone. Or maybe he wouldn’t yell at all, which was much worse. There was a coolness to his rage; a terrifying sense of distance.

Ember nodded at the people who’d been following him. “Who are they?” she whispered.

“Help. From the Lion. I’m not sure if you know–”

“I know him.” She peered around. “Is Jules with you?”

“He was. He’s …” Connor paused, and when he spoke again, his tone was very gentle, “Ember, there’s something wrong with Jules. He became very ill, very fast. I left him with the Lion’s Mender, but … I’m afraid it doesn’t look good.”

Ember swayed. I put my arm around her, hugging her to my side. “Em …”

She drew in a ragged, shaky breath, focusing on Connor. “Let’s go to Leo.”

Elle was waiting to meet us at the entrance to Leo’s tent, which, like the market itself, was as busy as it had been during the day. She escorted us past the people talking about dreams, through the room where we’d met Leo earlier, and into the house that adjoined the tent. We followed her along a series of hallways to a large, bright room filled with two rows of neatly made beds.
An infirmary of some sort
.

She ushered us in and left. The only occupants of the room were Jules – lying in a bed at the far end – and Leo, standing beside him with his broad shoulders resting against the wall. The Lion straightened as we entered, focussing on Ember. “Hello, little sister.”

Connor drew in a sharp breath.

“Em says he can be trusted,” I whispered hastily. “He’s the fifth.”

He nodded in acknowledgement as we hurried over to Jules, who was asleep. I was shocked by how frail and worn he was, and the way there somehow seemed to be less of him than there had been before.
He looks like he’s dying
. He looked like he was dying
soon
. How had he gotten so sick so fast?

“He was conscious a minute ago,” Leo told us. “One of you can try speaking to him if you like.”

Ember settled on the bed. Connor and I moved away, giving her space.

“Jules?” she said softly. “Can you hear me?”

There was no response. She tried again, speaking more loudly this time. “Jules? It’s Ember.”

His hazel eyes blinked open, widening in delighted recognition. “Red! You’re okay.”

“Yes. And you’re going to be all right as well.”

“Don’t trouble yourself about me.” He reached up with obvious effort, and tugged on one of her curls. “Think I don’t know when the game is done?”

She clutched at his shaking hand, holding it to her cheek. “It isn’t. You’re going to be
fine
.”

“It’s okay, darling. No regrets. Glad to go out … doing something right.” He smiled his crooked smile at her. “You were a good bet, Red. The best.”

She bent to kiss him, a long kiss filled with heat and desperation. I understood what it was to kiss someone like that. I looked away, only to meet Connor’s steady gaze. I knew he was remembering, as I was, the kiss we’d shared outside the centre, when I’d been trying to pour life into his broken body. His heart had started to beat, and that kiss had become a single perfect moment where the two of us had been each other’s world. Tangled up together, Jules had called us, and he’d been right.

Connor’s expression grew distant, and his eyes flicked away from mine.

I felt as if someone had sucked all the warmth out of the room. It was my own fault, this breaking of trust between us, but knowing that didn’t make it one bit easier to bear.
What have I done?

Ember spoke. “Sleep.” I glanced back to see she had her hand resting on Jules’s chest.
She’s talking to her nanomites
. Jules’s eyes slid shut and his breathing deepened.

Em stared up at her brother out of a white, miserable face. “What’s wrong with him?”

“That requires some explanation.” Leo jerked his head at Connor and me. “What do these two know about us?”

“You can say whatever you like in front of them.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t used to share information so easily. That toxin Terence doses his servants with–”

“I got rid of the toxin!”

“Yes, I deduced that much. However, every system in Jules’s body is shutting down, and the Mender cannot heal it. He seems to have been deprived of something that he is hopelessly dependent on – not the toxin, I think, but the antidote.”

She went even paler. “I told him he didn’t need the antidote any more, not when I’d taken the toxin away!”

“There was no reason for you to think otherwise. Unfortunately, it appears that prolonged use of the antidote results in a dependency upon it. It’s either is an unexpected side effect, or …”

“Or Delta engineered it that way on purpose,” Ember finished, a bitter note in her voice. “So that even if someone found a way to purge the toxin from their system, they wouldn’t survive. It’s the sort of thing Terence would have asked her to do.”

“And the sort of thing she would have done, simply to see if she could. I’ve tried giving him the antidote – I’ve had some stockpiled for a while now, in case it was ever useful – but it’s made no difference. Once the shutdown starts, it seems to be too late to use it.”

She swallowed. “How long …”

“My Mender thinks he has a week.”

Em let out a whimpering noise.

I hated to see her like this. “We can go back to the house, find Delta, see if she can help–”

“She won’t want to help, Ash,” Em whispered.

“Nor would I be inclined to trust any solution she presented you with,” Leo put in. “It’d be just as likely to kill him faster. Delta is exceedingly careless with human life.”

“There isn’t anything you can do for him with nanomites, Ember?” Connor asked.

She shook her head. “I could only help before because I’d already figured out how to deal with the toxin, years ago. I have no idea what to do about this! I need time. Longer than a week.”

“Well,” Leo said, “if time is the problem, there’s always the stasis chamber.”

I mouthed at Connor, “stasis chamber?” He answered in a low voice, “I’m not sure what it is. But to keep something in stasis is to preserve it.” His tone was clipped and shorn of emotion.
Doesn’t particularly want to talk to me
.
Got it
.