The Do Over (40 page)

I was startled by her question. "You're lying. He's not an inconvenience to you." My heart rate picked up as a flicker of anxiety coursed through me. "I told you that I'm in love with Liam. To answer your question, although I hated Rick for a long time, a part of me might always love him. When I'm with him now, he's the man I knew he could be, not the one that broke my heart. It's very innocent, like chaperoned teenagers walking along Lincoln Road." I tilted my head, matching her posture. "For someone who has sex on her terms, I find it fascinating that you'd let a man cockblock you. I know denial, and you're in it."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, you seem to be an expert at denial. Do what you have to do. Like I said, love is just an illusion. Be careful. Now, let's focus on what's important. How's your nutrition?"

With that accusation, I stirred uneasily in my chair.
What does she mean?

Unfortunately, she changed the subject to health and fitness, effectively dismissing my attempts to revisit her comment. Madison clearly didn't understand the social graces of the sisterhood. She was like a stray cat that needed to be domesticated and declawed, and I was up for the challenge.

I stood up to see which ornament was guilty of the light show on the wall. I admired the beautiful tree.

Poor Liam.
I had him go to three different lots before I'd settled on the perfect tree. He always spoiled me. I was sure he had thought all the trees looked the same, but never once had he complained or made me think that I was being silly. After we had gotten home and put up the tree, I'd made sure to show him my utmost gratitude.

A smile warmed my heart as I thought back on that day.
There's the culprit.
It was a silver-framed ornament with a picture of Liam and me for our first Christmas together. Liam wasn't an illusion. What we had was real.

My phone chirped.

Macy: What are you doing?

Dani: Reading.

Macy: Boring. I'm coming over.

Dani: Reading a good book.

Macy: Almost there.

Dani: Ignoring you.

Macy: Christmas gift crisis.

Dani: Procrastinating?

Macy: Open the door.

I held the door open as Macy blew in like a Tasmanian devil.

"I'm not really procrastinating. I'm just not sure if I should get Chris a gift or not. We haven't talked about exchanging gifts. We aren't official, and I just don't know what I should do. Should I just get him something and keep the receipt? If he doesn't get me anything, then I can just return it. If he does get me something, then I can avoid the awkward moment by having a gift for him. So, what do you think I should get him?" Macy tossed her purse on the counter and plopped her butt on the couch. "It's dark in here. You should turn on a light." She eyed me up and down, acknowledging me for the first time. "Awww, look at you wearing Liam's T-shirt. How cute."

"Sure, come in, no problem. I'm just the door holder." I closed the door and flipped on the light on my way back to the couch. "The room was illuminated by the Christmas tree. It's romantic." I crossed my legs and pulled the blanket over me. "I have no idea what you should get Chris as the just-in-case gift. He needs to shit or get off the pot. And, just so you know, I told Liam," I huffed.

Macy gave me a double take as her mouth dropped open. "That's worse than when I told Chris about your condition. I can't believe you. I'm putting you on probation." She threw her arm over her face. "So, what did Liam say?" she asked with curiosity.

"It's not the same thing. Liam said he wasn't getting involved and that it's between the two of you, so I should mind my own business. I tried to educate him. I told him that as my BFF, he needed to understand the code of the sisterhood. Of course, I need to intervene. He and I wouldn't be together if you and Candace didn't force me to go to Breathe. He failed to see the similarity."

Sensing Macy's need for some therapy, I got up and pulled out a bottle of wine. After filling our glasses, I returned to my comfortable spot on the couch. Macy swirled her wine, took a sip, and swirled it again. She looked like she was going to say something, but then she took another sip, swirled her glass, stood up, and then started walking around the room.

"I know I'm on probation, but you're acting weird. I need to know what the hell is going on," she said.

"What are you talking about? How am I acting weird?" As I started swirling my wine, I wondered why she would think that.

My phone chirped, interrupting our conversation.

"I gotta take this," I said as I reached for my phone.

Liam: Thinking of you.

Dani: I love you. Macy came over.

Liam: Stay out of trouble.

Dani: No fun in that.

Liam: Being my bad girl?

Dani: Whatcha gonna do about it?

Liam: Plenty.

Dani: Can't wait. XOXO.

Liam: XOXO.

Macy stood over me, reading my messages. I glared at her.

"Dani, tell me what's going on. When you're with Liam, you're happy and in love. I come over here and see that you're completely at home, wearing his clothes. I've never seen you like this before. It's great. I'm happy for you, but something's off. You're drinking tea and doing yoga with that skank, Madison. Chris told me all about her." Macy pressed her lips together, raising her eyebrow.

"Really?" I was intrigued. Liam didn't talk, but Chris was another story. "What did he say? She's not easy to get to know."

"She's no saint, and she has a reputation for it. Apparently, she knows what she's doing in the bedroom."

"Macy, I don't care about that. I'm interested in her cockblocker. I'm assuming it's Chris's friend, the one that gave Liam the certificate. Something's going on there."

"He says I don't know him. Frankly, I don't give a shit about the guy as long as he keeps that skank away from
my
Chris."

"Hmmm, maybe we should go watch them play basketball."

With that thought, I got very excited. Madison was wrong about me being in denial. She, on the other hand, was another story, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

"Why on earth would I do that? I couldn't care less about Madison. I'm not crowding Chris, and I'm not coming off as needy by stalking for that skank," she said, scrunching her face.

She was acting as though I'd lost my mind.

"Because you love to stalk, and you owe me." I smiled smugly.

Macy rolled her eyes. "That was a very clever attempt on your part to change the subject. Back to what I was saying, you're happy with Liam. I don't care that you're friends with Madison. I'm not jealous even though that's what Chris says. I promise you that I'm not. I don't care if you want to drink liquid ass."

I laughed. Wheatgrass was disgusting. Madison had been wrong. My body didn't crave it. My body repelled it.

"Macy, I'm not following you. Everything you've said is good. So, why are you staging a confrontation?" I sipped my drink. I was so confused. "By the way, you don't have to worry about Madison taking your coveted spot as my BFF."

"Ever since Candace left, you've been weird on Saturdays. When I get to Van Dyke's, you're different, like you're hiding something. Let's see. You're not eating, you're having hot flashes, you're flustered, and you're distracted."

I took a long sip of wine, burying my face in my glass, as I tried to hide my shock.

Instantly, memories of spending time with Rick with his dimpled smile and his penetrating gaze flashed through my mind. I thought about his hand on the small of my back as we walked to the cafe to have breakfast, which was becoming a regular occurrence, and then rushing to get to Van Dyke's without being caught. I couldn't tell her. Even if she didn't say anything to Chris, she wouldn't understand that my time with him was actually helping me. She hated Rick. Regardless, Macy was totally off base. I was perfectly fine and completely in control.

Something else was bothering her, and I was convinced it had to do with my growing friendship with Madison.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I refilled my glass and then tipped the bottle toward Macy, offering her more. "First, you accuse me of having a hormonal imbalance, and now, you say something is going on. Macy, we're both adjusting to not having Candace around. We've all been together for so long that her not being here is unnatural and weird for us. I have to agree with Chris." I pinched my fingers together as I said, "I think you're just a wee bit jealous of my new pal, Madison."

"I love you like a sister." Macy put down her glass. "Whatever's going on between Friday night and Saturday morning, you can tell me."

"Nothing's going on. I promise," I confirmed.

I was confident that Macy was exaggerating. Yes, I was a little flustered and distracted after my run-ins with Rick. That had more to do with rushing back than anything else. Everything was perfectly fine.

While we continued drinking the bottle of wine, we watched
Sweet Home Alabama
for the hundredth time.

"Melanie Carmichael or Smooter." Macy laughed into her glass. "She had it rough with those two hot guys, Jake and Andrew." She fanned herself. "She obviously wasn't over her ex as she lied and stringed along McDreamy."

"Mace, you're completely simplifying the entire plot. Melanie had many layers," I snapped. "Melanie ran away because she was ashamed of her past and needed a clean start. Andrew was her present, and she didn't want him tainted by what she used to be. She wasn't pretending with him, and she wasn't really
lying
lying. She just didn't tell him everything because she knew he wouldn't understand the truth. Who was the real Melanie? Jake wasn't the ex. He was still her husband. Andrew was just the distraction," I reasoned. "Do you think Liam is Jake or Andrew? Who would Rick be?"

"I'm cutting you off. You aren't making any sense. I can so totally see Liam as Jake. Liam would dig that glass out of the sand, and holy shit, he has the blue eyes to match. As for Rick, he's that dog's shit. Don't go dissing Patrick Dempsey by comparing him to Rick." She paused while her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Wait a second. Is Rick still bothering you? If he is, I'll kick his ass."

"Nope. He's not bothering me at all," I said, watching the credits roll on the TV. I told her the truth. He wasn't bothering me.

"You'd tell me if he was, right?"

I glanced over at her. She was sitting on her knees, staring at me.

"Yes, of course. Come on, I nearly ate you alive that last time I saw him."

I was going to burn in hell for lying to her. She would just blow everything out of proportion. Madison had even come to the wrong conclusions.

Rick and I had a past. That was where it was. So, we had spontaneous encounters that took us back there. It was nice, innocent, and no big deal. Nothing was going on.

Macy took my wine glass and placed it in the sink. "You've become a major lightweight since you started drinking that wheat shit."

"Have not." I yawned, stretching my arms.

"
Whatever
. Lightweight," she said sarcastically. When she returned from the kitchen, she continued her analysis of the movie. "The moral of the story is don't play with metal rods in a storm and not expect to get hit by lightning. Well, that, and there's always a happy ending." Macy shrugged her shoulders. "And, you, my dear friend, are finally getting your happily ever after."

"I hope you're right as long as he doesn't get himself killed or get bored of me." I hugged her. "And they didn't get hit by lightning, doofus. They kissed, and it was one of Hollywood's best kisses ever."

"Lightweight. You're so dramatic and negative. I've seen the way that man kisses you. I think it would qualify as one of the all-time hottest kisses ever. Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." She grabbed her stuff and headed to the door.

Macy was right. I was a lightweight. My head was spinning. I couldn't shake Macy's observations. Madison had been wrong. Love wasn't an illusion, and I wasn't in denial, if that had been what she meant. I looked around the well-lit room. There were no shadows playing on the wall. There were no illusions masking as truths. This was the place I called home. All was right in my life. I had everything under control.