The Doctor Wears A Stetson (Contemporary Western Romance) (21 page)

What in the world was wrong with her? Her
most secret wish had come true and she'd thrown it away? Why hadn't
she talked to him about her not being able to have children? Why
hadn't she told him she loved him?

Smooth, Jess. Just flat out refuse his love
and proposal. She'd never been good with the man/woman thing. But
that didn't begin to explain her actions. She must be sick in the
head.

Jessie took another sip of coffee and
squared her shoulders. She was through with crying. She'd go into
work today and pretend nothing had happened. She should be thankful
Cameron had returned to Salt Fork and was practicing at the clinic.
That was one dream that had come true.

And if she had to live the rest of her life
without the man she'd always loved? Jessie sighed. She seemed
destined to live with some kind of regret hanging over her. She'd
move on somehow. She always did.

****

Cameron rushed up the steps of City Hall,
adjusting the tie he'd thrown on just minutes before. He'd almost
forgotten the City Council meeting tonight. The meeting where he
was going to be presented a plaque thanking him for taking the
position at the clinic. Jessie would also be there, since she'd
been the one to get the clinic up and running.

They'd planned on attending together, but
that was
before
. Before Jessie had refused to be his
wife.

And he hadn't had a chance to put any new
plan into action. Hell, he'd been so busy he hadn't even thought of
a plan. The flu had hit the residents of Salt Fork with a vengeance
and Cameron was kept running from dawn to dusk, seeing
patients.

When he opened the council chamber's doors,
the first person he saw was Jessie. She was wearing that blue dress
that had nearly driven him out of his mind with desire when she'd
worn it to his mom's birthday party last fall. Damn, that seemed
like a lifetime ago. So many things had changed since then.

Mayor Vandeford came forward to shake
Cameron's hand, a welcoming smile on his face. "Dr. McCade, so glad
you could make it."

Cameron shook hands with the man, eyes still
focused on Jessie who was standing across the council chamber
talking to a group of people. "I'm honored to be here. How's your
daughter doing? She fully recovered from her accident at the
homecoming game last fall?"

The mayor nodded. "Oh yes, and she's back to
cheerleading which she loves. My Hilda's a little trooper. I can't
thank you enough for your quick actions that night."

"No problem. That's my job. Glad to hear
she's okay."

Just then the doors opened to admit more
people, and Cameron was glad to see his mother, Austin, Kelsey and
Tyler among the crowd. The mayor greeted the McCades, then turned
away when someone asked him a question.

"Oh, Cam," Ruth said, a little out of
breath. "I thought we were going to be late. I wouldn't miss this
for the world. I'm so proud of you."

He hugged his mom and ruffled Kelsey's hair.
"Dallas couldn't make it?"

Ruth sniffed and fished in the pocket of her
coat for a tissue. "He's still angry about . . . well, you
know."

Tyler smacked Cameron on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about old Dallas. He can't stay mad forever."

Austin looked around the chambers. "Quite a
crowd here tonight. We'd better grab some seats. Break a leg,
Cam."

The mayor returned to Cameron's side. "Sorry
about that. Duties and all. I'm sure you know most of the people
here, but there are a few new faces. Let me introduce you around
before the meeting gets underway."

As Cameron followed the mayor and shook
hands with various councilmen, he kept Jessie in his peripheral
line of vision. She'd glanced his way only once, then quickly
looked away. She seemed pale. Was she ill or just
uncomfortable?

Damn, he missed her. This situation was
totally unnecessary. Two people who loved each other, enjoyed the
same things and shared incredible sexual chemistry should be able
to marry and have kids. What could possibly be keeping her from
accepting his proposal?

The meeting was called to order. Cameron sat
beside the mayor and Jessie sat three seats down the table.

Old business was discussed and Cameron
listened with half an ear, his mind on his personal problems and
what he could do to fix things between Jessie and himself.

Because if things weren't fixed soon,
Cameron had the sick feeling that Jessie would be lost to him
forever.

****

Jessie couldn't remember when she'd felt
this uncomfortable and uneasy. With Cameron sitting so close, yet
so far away, she was unable to keep her mind on the business at
hand

In a few minutes, she was supposed to stand
near Cameron and present him with a token of appreciation from the
Chamber of Commerce. She was going to have to touch him while she
fastened the gold pin to his jacket, smell his unique smell, feel
the heat from his big body. The body she'd become intimately
acquainted with over the past several months. The body belonging to
the man she loved with all her heart, but had refused to marry.

What in the world was wrong with her?

"And now we come to the part of the program
that's my favorite," the mayor announced. "Tonight, it's with great
pleasure and honor that I present a hometown boy who has come back
to roost, a man who has taken on a position that is near and dear
to our hearts. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Cameron McCade."

Everyone stood and the room rocked with
applause and whistles. Jessie watched from her vantage point as
Cameron walked to the front of the council table where the mayor
handed him a large wooden plaque.

Ruth and his brothers were sitting in the
audience and Jessie could see the pride in Ruth's eyes as everyone
applauded loud and long. Jessie craned her neck looking for Dallas,
but he was nowhere to be seen. The big rancher was obviously still
angry with Cameron. Maybe when he found out she'd refused to marry
his brother, Dallas would forgive Cameron and be friends again. She
should feel good about that, but it afforded her little
comfort.

Mayor Vandeford looked Jessie's way and
nodded. It was her turn. She swallowed her discomfort, took a deep
breath and made her way to the podium. She was a grown woman. She
could handle this. It would soon be over and she could go home to
her empty house and have herself another good cry. Sooner or later,
she'd run out of tears.

Jessie stood behind the podium and waited
for the applause to die down before speaking. She kept her eyes
forward, not wanting to look at Cameron before it was absolutely
necessary. "I would also like to welcome Dr. McCade back to Salt
Fork," she said. "As president of the Chamber of Commerce, I'm
happy to offer my heartfelt gratitude to him for filling a
much-needed void in our community. Now, the citizens of Salt Fork
can receive quick efficient medical treatment without having to
drive eighty miles to the nearest hospital."

Jessie paused and took another deep breath.
With her knees shaking and hands trembling, she hoped she could
perform her part in this presentation without losing her composure
and embarrassing herself.

Mayor Vandeford stepped back and Jessie
walked over to stand beside Cameron. His blue eyes fastened on hers
and she couldn't seem to break the contact.

She cleared her throat and stuck out her
hand. Cameron took it in his warm grasp and the current of
electricity flowing up her arm nearly short-circuited her brain
cells. Time stood still in that moment. Then Cameron released her
hand and Jessie tried to smile. She knew it must be a poor excuse
for a smile, because she could feel her mouth trembling in time to
her pounding heart.

Courage, Jessie. You can do this.

She cleared her throat again. "I'm honored
to present you the Chamber of Commerce's 'Welcome to Town' golden
pin." She opened the small plastic box and removed the pin. Taking
hold of the lapel of Cameron's sport coat, the same one he'd worn
to the Valentine's Dance, Jessie affixed the small golden pin, then
quickly stepped away. The audience once again broke out in
applause.

Cameron moved close and kissed her cheek.
"Thank you, Jess. This means a lot to me."

His deep beloved voice seeped into her very
soul. Jessie couldn't speak, only nodded, her throat clogged with
unshed tears. She needed to get out of here now. But she couldn't
without being impossibly rude.

"Won't you say a few words, Dr. McCade?"
Mayor Vandeford asked.

"Of course." Cameron winked at Jessie before
taking his place at the podium. She couldn't stop the flutter in
her heart. He'd given her a look like he wasn't through with her
and her body thrummed with excitement and dread. He didn't look
like a man whose marriage proposal had so recently been
rejected.

Jessie didn't wait to hear what Cameron said
to the crowd. She didn't care if she was acting rudely. She had to
get home. She had to get away from Cameron McCade and the knowledge
that she'd stupidly thrown away her last chance at happiness.

****

Cameron waited as long as he could before
following Jessie to her house. The drive out of town took twenty
minutes. Twenty minutes to figure out what he wanted to say.

He pulled off the pavement and headed down
the winding dirt road leading to the Devine place. He hadn't been
to her house since the Valentine's Dance. It seemed forever. He'd
been too shocked the night she'd refused his proposal to ask her
for her reasons. He'd gotten over the shock and was ready to hear
those reasons now.

He was looking for answers, damn it. And
tonight he'd get her to talk. And he'd get her into bed, too. His
body ached to hold her again. Be inside her again. Make them
one.

He parked the Jag in front of the house and
walked up to the porch. The lights were on. Welcoming? Or warning
him to stay away?

Too damned bad. He was here and there was no
turning back.

Cameron knocked on the door and waited. His
hands felt clammy and his heartbeat quickened.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jessie
finally opened the door, then just stood there looking out the
screen at him. The dog and cat flanked her, guarding her.

Hell, he wasn't the enemy. He loved her.

"Ask me in, Jess."

She bit her lip. "Why?"

Cameron took a deep breath. Now wasn't the
time to lose his temper. "We need to talk."

Jessie nodded and opened the door. Cameron
entered the living room. Sherlock barked once, then nudged his
hand, inviting him to pet him.

Cameron rubbed the dog's ears, watching
Jessie. She walked over to the heater and warmed her backside. She
was still wearing the powder blue dress she'd worn to the council
meeting.

God, he loved that dress. She'd worn it to
his mother's party where he'd taken her to the barn and . . .

Cameron sighed. That was over four months
ago. When they'd been fighting the attraction between them. When
Jess had been fighting and he'd just wanted to get her into
bed.

She was still fighting. But now, Cameron
wanted more than just getting Jessie into bed. He wanted it
all.

He closed the distance between them and took
her in his arms. She belonged in his arms. Couldn't she feel it?
Couldn't she feel the rightness? "I think it's time you told me why
you think you can't marry me."

"You make it sound like I don't know my own
mind," she said, trying to push away. He tightened his hold and she
sighed. "I don't
think
I can't marry you, Cameron. I know I
can't . . . shouldn't . . . let me go." Again, she tried to wiggle
out of his arms.

"I don't want to let you go. Ever." Cameron
stared deeply into Jess' eyes. Beautiful green eyes sparkling with
tears. Something was definitely wrong.

He kissed the wet cheeks. He hated to see
her so unhappy. "What's the matter, Jess? I thought you'd be happy
that I was back in town. You told me it was your dream for me to
take over the clinic. I thought you wanted me to move to Salt Fork.
I thought you wanted me. Was I wrong?"

Jessie shook her head, her short blond hair
bouncing with the movement. "I did want you . . .
do
want
you--" She sniffed and swiped at her nose. "Damn. I'm not going to
cry. I should just tell you what's bothering me, but I don't know
how."

Cameron hugged her close and kissed the top
of her forehead. "Try, Jess. I asked you to marry me, for crying
out loud. I love you. And you love me; I
know
it. We can
work this out, whatever it is. It can't be so very bad, can
it?"

"It's pretty bad," she whispered, not
looking at him, but fiddling with the gold pin on his jacket lapel.
The pin she had presented to him only a couple of hours ago.
"
I
think it's bad."

"Tell me, sweetheart."

He felt her stiffen in his arms, as if she
were preparing herself for an assault or something.

"I can't have children," she blurted out.
"You said you want kids. TR wanted a baby more than anything and I
failed him. I promised myself not to do anything that I'd live to
regret any more if I can help it. And I mean to stick to that
promise."

"Look at me, Jess."

She shook her head and sniffled again.

Cameron's chest tightened. Jessie was one
stubborn woman. If she decided something, it took an act of
Congress to make her change her mind. He suddenly felt her slipping
from him. He couldn't let her go, couldn't let her get away. He'd
let her go once before. He couldn't do it again.

Tucking a finger beneath her chin, he tilted
her head until she was forced to meet his gaze. "I love you, Jess.
It's taken me a hell of a long time to realize that. I've lived
with the restlessness my whole life. But when I came back for Mom's
birthday party, the restless feeling left. And you know why?
Because I found you again."