The Doctor Wears A Stetson (Contemporary Western Romance) (22 page)

"But I can't marry you," she said with a
sob. "I can't live with the knowledge I won't be able to give you
children. I just can't do that again." A big tear slid down her
cheek and Cameron caught it with his thumb. She was killing him.
But she was hurting, too. He wanted to make her better. He was a
doctor. It's what he did. Made people better.

"Did you have fertility tests done when you
were married to TR?" he asked, stroking her soft hair.

Her head jerked up and she sniffed.
"What?"

"Fertility tests. You know, to see if you
were ovulating? Did TR have any tests done? How do you know it was
your fault?"

Jessie shook her head and wiped her eyes.
"He didn't want any tests done. He didn't want to get caught up in
all of that technical stuff. Besides, those tests are expensive and
the little insurance we had wouldn't cover them. TR just wanted it
to happen naturally. He said if it happened, it happened. He was
just being nice. I knew how disappointed he was. I can't do that to
you, Cameron."

"Look, Jess. Forget about the kids," he
said. "All I want is you. We could always adopt, you know."

"It wouldn't be the same." She wiggled out
of his embrace and stepped away, crossing her arms, rubbing herself
as if she were cold. "Maybe you'd better leave."

"I don't want to leave. In fact, I'm not
leaving," he said, shucking off his jacket and throwing it on the
couch. "I want you too much. Please, Jess. Make love with me."

"I don't think we should--"

He loosened his tie. "One more time,
sweetheart. Let's make love one more time."

If only he could get her in bed, he believed
he could change her mind. He wanted to make sweet love to her,
seduce her, remind her what they had together. Remind her how many
years they'd wasted already. They didn't need to waste another
minute, as far as Cameron was concerned.

He took her in his arms again and captured
her lips, tasting coffee and Jessie's own sweetness. She held back
a few moments, and he thought he'd lost, thought she was going to
refuse him, but finally she melted against him and he breathed a
sigh of relief.

Cameron pulled her onto his lap and moved
his body against her, prodding her warm softness, while plundering
her sweet mouth. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his
neck.

"We shouldn't do this," she said, her words
vibrating against his lips.

"Shh, we're doing this."

Jessie sighed and he took the kiss deeper,
plunging his tongue into her mouth, holding her close. She played
with the hair at the nape of his neck. He loved when she did that.
Suddenly, he was on fire and needed more than a kiss.

Jessie knew the instant the kiss changed
from exploratory to hot and vital. Cameron cradled her butt in his
big strong hands and lifted her against him, so she could feel his
arousal and how much he wanted her.

"I need you, Jess," he growled in her ear,
sending goose bumps flittering down her spine.

She couldn't fight the inevitable and gave
herself up to the wonderful feelings of passion only this man could
stoke deep within her.
One last time,
she thought.
One
last time to be with Cameron.

Jessie took his hand and brought it to her
mouth. She kissed the center of his palm. "Let's continue this in
bed."

"Excellent idea." He smiled the sexy smile
that always made her stomach crater. "Lead the way." With his hands
on her shoulders, he followed her to the bedroom.

She pulled back the quilts on the large
four-poster bed. The sound of Cameron's zipper shattered the quiet
of the room and froze her in place. Jessie knew she really
shouldn't be making love with Cameron again. Not when she'd already
refused to marry him. But she could no more resist the desire
burning between them than the urge to replace a noisy muffler on an
old car. Her breath caught in her lungs when Cameron stood close
behind, his naked body rubbing the thin cloth of her panties, his
strong hands grasping her narrow waist, pulling her to him.

Cameron reached around to cup her breasts.
"Watch my hands, Jess," he whispered in her ear, as he unfastened
her bra.

Slowly the lacy material eased away from her
rounded curves and the fabric teased her nipples. Cameron raked his
nails softly across the satiny mounds, following the path of the
lace with his fingers. He weighed her breasts in his palms, gently
squeezing the firm flesh and brushing his thumbs across the
nipples.

Jessie saw the rigid peaks pucker in
response. Cameron's fingers traced the rosy ring at the center of
each breast, outlining the curvature of the swells, dipping into
the valley between, moving slowly up to the base, stopping just
short of the nipples. He trailed light, feathery touches--some
fast, some slow--over her sensitive skin. He focused his attention
on the soft fleshy mounds, deliberately neglecting the tight
swollen beads that ached to be touched.

He placed a finger to her lips. "Open your
mouth."

Moistening his index finger against her
tongue, he swirled the wetness around and around the base of her
nipples, leaning over her shoulder to blow each one in turn.

Every nerve ending in Jessie's body tensed
from the seductive torture. "Please . . ." she begged, her voice a
ragged sob.

Cameron's fingers hovered above the
nipples.

Jessie moaned low, as if in pain. She arched
toward the teasing hands. "Cameron . . ."

He flicked the tips of the turgid peaks,
lightly brushing across the sensitive beads. Once, twice. He kept
his fingers close, barely making contact.

Jessie's body involuntarily bucked. She
grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts, urging him to
caress her fully.

Cameron massaged the heated flesh. The sight
of Jessie's white hands on top of his dark ones, helping him give
her pleasure, threatened his control. He wedged one knee between
her legs and rubbed back and forth. He felt her dampness on the top
of his thigh. His erection throbbed and hardened even more. Lifting
Jessie off the floor, he eased her onto the bed, flat on her
stomach.

He tore her panties down the length of her
legs and tossed them aside. Kneeling above her, Cameron kissed the
curve of her neck. Her skin was soft and smooth. He trailed his
tongue down her spine, kneaded both cheeks of her bottom with his
hands, and licked the two dimples at the small of her back.

Suddenly, he flipped her over.

Jessie's eyes widened and dilated. She
reached toward him. "Let me touch you," she whispered.

Cameron straddled her. He gritted his teeth
as her fingers closed around him, caressing, stroking.

He moved away. "Keep that up, and we'll be
finished before we're good and started."

Her husky laugh titillated his senses. He
took her mouth in a hot savage kiss. She held him close and matched
the movements of his tongue with her own.

Cameron stretched out beside her. He kissed
her again, dipping into the honeyed flavor only Jessie could
provide. He butted his shaft against her thigh and felt the urgent
need to plunge himself into her. But not yet. Not yet.

He kissed the corners of her mouth and the
tip of her nose, then pulled away. Jessie groaned in disappointment
and sought to bring him close again. Gently, he pushed her back
against the pillows. "I want to kiss you all over, sweetheart."

He took one nipple into his mouth and sucked
hard. A deep moan erupted from Jessie's throat. Sliding his hand
down her flat stomach, he twined his fingers in her soft curls.
Gently, he teased the velvety folds, lightly brushing, touching,
applying the same sweet torture he'd inflicted on her breasts just
minutes before.

Jessie gripped his shoulders. Her nails bit
deeply into his skin. Cameron bent to lave her navel with his
tongue, then trailed kisses down her abdomen. He stopped just above
the dark triangle of hair and looked up. Jessie's face was flushed
with desire, her eyes drugged with passion.

Cameron felt himself flex in response to the
yearning in those eyes. Slowly, ever so slowly, he spread open the
soft folds with gentle fingers. Softly, so softly, he nuzzled her
most intimate flesh.

Jessie's hips bucked upward. The exquisite
rasp of Cameron's tongue released the surge of tension he had so
expertly nurtured. She tangled her fingers in his hair, trying to
find a handhold, as her body erupted in pleasure.

"Now, Cameron," she said. "I need you."

He pulled her beneath him and spread her
legs apart. Lowering himself, he slid inside her moist heat. He
waited a moment, enjoying the feel of Jessie's warm flesh holding
him, caressing him.

"Please, Cameron." Jessie cupped his jaws
with trembling fingers.

He turned his head to kiss each palm, then
started making love to her. He moved over her, in her. Deep inside,
then away. Pull and push. Slow, then fast. Jessie matched his
thrusts, her inner muscles contracting, squeezing him.

Cameron groaned with satisfaction as his
body convulsed in orgasm. Jessie rubbed his back and kissed his
neck. His last conscious thought was that a man couldn't ask for
much more than this and somehow, some way he had to make Jessie
change her mind about marrying him.

****

"Nothing has changed," Jessie said, lying in
the darkness of her room, with Cameron beside her in bed. "I'm
still not marrying you."

Cameron slammed his fist on top of the
sheets. "For crying out loud, Jess. How can you say that after what
we just shared?"

Jessie shot up out of bed, grabbed a robe
and hauled it on, all the while conscious of Cameron's frowning
eyes upon her. She smoothed back her hair and turned to face the
angry man in her bed. Naked. Still. Unconcerned with his lack of
clothes. Looking incredibly sexy amidst the rumpled sheets.

"I told you I can't have babies. I can't
live knowing I'm denying you something you want."

Cameron rose out of bed and stood before
her, hands on hips. "You are denying me something I want. Very
badly. More than I want kids."

"What are you talking about?"

"I want you, Jess. I want to marry you,
share my life with you. I want to make love to you every night and
wake up each morning with you by my side. How can you live with
knowing how much I want you and not having you? You're denying both
of us something we want desperately."

Jessie shook her head. "I just can't. You
don't understand."

"No, I don't understand." Cameron dragged on
his boxers, then his slacks. "Before you throw both our futures
away, why don't you have a fertility test just to make sure? We've
been having unprotected sex for months, and you might be carrying
my child even now."

"I'm not," she said. "I can't be. I'm
barren, I tell you. We've been intimate since last October, and I
haven't missed a period in all that time. Sure, they've been
irregular, but they've always been that way. And that's probably
too much information, but you asked. Face it, Cameron. I faced it a
long time ago. I'll never be able to have children. I'm sorry."

Cameron strode toward her and glared down at
her. "You are one stubborn woman. You know that?"

"I think you should leave."

He pulled on his shirt and hastily buttoned
it up. "Oh, I'm leaving all right. But this isn't over, sweetheart.
Not by a long shot."

He swiped his tie from the floor and flung
it around his neck, his blue eyes spitting fire. "Don't bother
showing me the door. I know the way. Good bye, Jess."

The days following the council meeting
proved to be extremely difficult. Jessie forced herself to go to
work, but she didn't get much done. She was horrified that she'd
made love with Cameron knowing she wasn't going to marry him or
have any kind of relationship with him. She knew she was weak where
he was concerned, but she should have stood firm and sent him on
his way instead of falling into bed with him.

Her heart felt heavy and she was depressed.
On top of all that, her tummy started acting up at the end of the
week and she hoped she wasn't coming down with the flu that was
going around town. At noon on Friday, Sam sent her home.

"You need to go to bed, Jessie. You look
awful."

"Gee, thanks. Just what a girl wants to
hear."

Sam wiped his hands on a grease rag. "I
don't think you want to hear what I really have a mind to say. You
need to take better care of yourself. Go home, Jess. I'll take care
of things here."

"Thanks, Sam. I think I might have caught a
bug. I'll take the weekend off and see you on Monday."

"Sure thing, Boss Lady." Sam smiled and held
the door for her.

Jessie got her purse and her coat. "If you
need anything, just call. I'm not bedridden yet."

"You will be if you don't get some rest.
Now,
git
."

"Yes, sir."

Before heading home, Jessie stopped at the
café for a bowl of soup. It was lunch hour and thankfully, Sarah
Sue was too busy to pry. Jessie didn't feel like fielding questions
about her love life. Her nonexistent love life as of a couple of
weeks ago. Not counting that moment of weakness after the council
meeting.

The soup soothed her stomach, but not the
turmoil in her soul. Damn, she'd never thought making the decision
not to marry Cameron would hurt so much.

Hadn't she decided it was better to continue
living without him, than to marry him and not be able to give him
children? And hadn't she reasoned to herself that it was all for
the best so she wouldn't be a constant thorn in Dallas' side
causing a rift between the two brothers?

Yeah, right, Jess. Who do you think
you're fooling?
It looked like a lose/lose proposition no
matter which path she chose. If she married Cameron, she'd feel
horrible because she couldn't bear his children. On the other hand,
if she didn't marry him, she would still live in misery spurning
the man she'd always loved.