The Dog (9 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Sometimes, when I go to sleep, my head is filled with very clear memories of the past, and images of things that happened a long time ago. It's not just images, either. I hear things, and I smell things. In fact, during these dreams, it's always the smells that are most vivid.

I dream scents and odors.

Tonight, for example, I see the old apartment I lived in with Jon. I don't remember much from those days, at least not in terms of what I saw or heard. But the scents are still so clear. The scent of the park, when Jon used to take me for long walks. Or the scent of my bed next to the dining room table, where I'd wait while he worked. Or the scent of the food he was preparing in the kitchen, and of the scraps he'd let me eat. I don't remember what any of those moments looked or sounded like, but the scents are so vivid, even now.

And we used to run together, especially after we started coming to the cabin. We'd run through the fields, and through the forest, and around the edge of the lake. I want to run with him again and feel the scents of the world rushing against my face. I want to -

Suddenly opening my eyes, I find that the sun has begun to rise. I didn't so much fall asleep as pass out thanks to a combination of exhaustion and hunger, but for a moment I remembered the scents from the days when Jon and I used to run. Now that I'm awake, however, I can hear him still slamming his fists against the glass door on the other side of the cabin, and he still sounds angry. I was hoping that I'd wake up and find that he'd gone back to normal, but as I get to my feet and start traipsing along the porch, I'm scared that he'll still be angry when I go and look at him.

As soon as I get back to the glass door, I'm shocked to see how much blood is now smeared all over the inside. Jon is still slamming his fists against the glass, and it looks as if he's managed to damage his hands, tearing some of the flesh away until the bone is visible beneath. A couple of his fingers are dangling now by threads, almost entirely mashed away. It's hard to see properly through so much blood, but I can just about make out the shape of him on the other side, and after a moment I lower my head a little and peer through a clearer patch of glass.

I feel a shudder pass through my chest as I see that some of the flesh looks to be peeling away from his face. After a moment, his eyes twitch and look toward me, and he immediately lets out another cry of anger as he throws himself against the glass with more force than ever.

I step back, filled with a growing sense of panic. Jon has always been so stable in the past, and I've often been able to understand what he's doing and why. Even when I
didn't
understand, I trusted him implicitly and I knew that if I just followed him, everything would be okay. My whole life, that rule has stood firm and kept me safe, but for the first time I'm starting to wonder whether Jon is still someone I can trust. He's my master and I've never doubted him before, but if he's lost his mind, maybe there's nothing I can do to help him.

Still, I can't just leave, so I decide to walk around the cabin again, hoping that when I get back to the glass door, he'll be back to normal. My legs are aching and I just want to settle down and sleep, but my belly is empty and the gnawing pains of hunger are starting to fill my mind. I'm thirsty, too, but I don't dare leave the cabin and go down to the lake, not until I'm certain that Jon is okay. He's always pulled through for me before, he even made the pain go away when I got my paw caught in a door and I had to go see the vet. He always looks after me.

I circle the cabin for a few more hours, but nothing changes and Jon still sounds angry.

Finally, too tired to walk, I drop down at the top of the steps and take slow, deep breaths. I need to eat soon, and my belly is starting to hurt. It's hard to know what to do, though, and after a moment I close my eyes, hoping that if I can go to sleep again, everything will be okay when I wake up.

I drift for a moment, before suddenly hearing the sound of a car's tires screeching along the dirt road.

Opening my eyes, I look across toward the dirt road just as a red car comes racing into view. I get to my feet and watch as the car screeches to a halt, and for a moment I'm filled with fear as I realize that someone else has arrived. A moment later, however, the car door opens and a woman steps out, and I feel an immediate rush of relief as I see that it's someone I recognize.

Julie!

Julie is finally here!

“Harry!” she shouts, clearly scared as she rushes toward the cabin. “Thank God you're here! Where's Jon?”

I run down the steps, overjoyed to see her, and she crouches down next to me and runs her hands along my flank.

“Hey, boy,” she stammers, “you're so thin. Are you guys okay? Where's Jon?”

I lean closer and lick the side of her neck, but my tongue feels dry.

“Jon?” she shouts, getting to her feet and stepping past me. She hurries up the steps and onto the porch, and then she stops as if she's suddenly heard the grunts and crashing sounds from inside the cabin.

I watch the back of her head, waiting to see what she'll do. I like Julie, she's smart like Jon and I trust her. She'll make everything better again.

After a moment, she takes a step back as Jon continues to hit the door. Finally, she turns to me with tears in her eyes.

“That's not...” She pauses. “Harry, tell me that's not Jon. Please, I thought you guys would...”

She turns back to look at the cabin's front door, and a few seconds later there's a loud bump on the other side, as if Jon has made his way back over and is now trying to get out to her.

“Please no,” she says, her voice trembling as she makes her way along the porch and round to the other side.

I make my way up the steps, not wanting to follow and look through the glass door this time.

I wait, scared in case -

Suddenly Julie lets out a brief, shocked cry, and I hear her running back this way. She stops as soon as she sees me, and tears are streaming down her face.

“Tell me that's not him!” she sobs. “Please, Harry, that can't be Jon in there...”

As if to answer her, there's another loud roar from inside the cabin, and a series of bumps as if he's still trying to break out through the glass door.

“It's not Jon,” Julie whimpers, stepping away from the cabin until she's standing next to me at the top of the steps. “It can't be. I got here as fast as I could, but I was so sure that Jon would be okay. He's
always
okay, he always knows how to look after himself. This can't happen to Jon. It's happened to so many other people, but not Jon.”

I look up at her, hoping that she'll know how to put everything right. Maybe if she goes inside, she can make Jon go back to normal. She's always made him happy before.

Inside the cabin, Jon is once more throwing himself against the door, desperately trying to break out. At the same time, he's letting out a low, guttural snarl that never seems to end. And just as it seems that he has to give up, he starts hitting the wood even harder, and I let out a whimper as I take a few more steps back.

“Oh God,” Julie sobs, sitting on the edge of the porch and staring at the wooden door as it continues to shudder. Tears are streaming down her face. “Please, not Jon...”

***

“I can't leave him like this,” Julie says eventually, after we've listened to Jon's fury for a little longer. Her voice is trembling more than ever. “I can't... I can't just drive away. I can't.”

She pauses again, before getting to her feet. Her heart is pounding as she steps over to the table by the door and picks up the rifle, which has been resting there ever since Jon used it on the creature that attacked Richard. She opens it and takes a look at one of the inner parts, and then she snaps it shut again.

“One shot,” she whispers. “I can't let him suffer like this. I saw so many people at the hospital, I saw what happens to these things.”

She turns to me, and more tears are streaming down her face.

“They just get worse, Harry,” she continues. “I've seen them, they just rot and fall apart. It's not really Jon in there, not anymore. You understand that, right?”

She takes a deep breath.

“This is the only merciful thing I can do for him now.”

She hesitates for a moment, before a shudder seems to pass through her body.

“I can't do it,” she stammers, turning and heading back down the steps. “I'm getting out of here. Come on, Harry, you can come too. I've got food. Not a lot, but enough, and then we'll get to the rendezvous point and everything'll be okay.”

I watch as she opens the trunk of her car. I can't believe that she's actually going to leave without helping Jon, and when I look back at the cabin, I realize he's screaming louder than ever.

“Harry?” Julie calls out to me. “Do you want this?”

I turn to her again, and I see that she's holding out a handful of canned meat. My stomach is so empty, it hurts, but no matter how much I want that meat, I can't bring myself to walk away from the cabin. Even though I'm drooling at the prospect of food, I turn back to the cabin and watch the door, still hoping that Jon will suddenly come out and that everything will be okay again.

“He's gone, Harry,” Julie continues, with a hint of desperation in her voice. “That's not him anymore, it's just something in his body. We started to analyze the sickness at the hospital, but then everything went to hell. There's one thing I'm sure of, though, and that's... When they come back, it's not really them. It's just their bodies.”

She keeps talking, but I focus on the door. I still believe that Jon will come out eventually.

“I have to get going,” Julie says, and I hear her getting back into her car. “I'm sorry, Harry, but there's nothing else we can do for him. Harry, come get in the car.”

I stare at her for a moment, before turning back to the cabin.

“Get in the car!” she shouts, her voice filled with desperation. “You dumb dog, get in the bloody car!”

I don't look at her. I keep my eyes fixed on the door, and a moment later I hear Julie starting her car's engine. The vehicle's rumbling sound continues for a few minutes, before stopping again, and then I hear her climbing back out.

I wait, but finally I turn to her.

“I can't leave him like this,” she whispers, wiping tears from her eyes. She still has the rifle in her hands as she steps toward me. “You know I love him, don't you?” she continues, reaching down and ruffling the fur on the back of my neck. Her hand is shaking. “You know I do. I've loved him for so long, and I love him so much, and that's why I can't just leave. I have to put him out of his misery. Either there's a glimmer of his soul left in there and he wants the agony to end, or there's nothing left and this is just the final indignity. Whatever... I saw enough at the hospital for me to know that this is what I have to do now. I have to do it because I love him.”

She pauses, before stepping past me and making her way along the porch.

I let out a faint whimper, and she turns to me.

“It'll be quick,” she says. “I promise, Harry. He won't suffer.”

I don't know what she's talking about, but I turn back to the front door as I hear Jon still desperately trying to break through. A moment later, I realize that Julie is out of sight now, having made her way around the side of the cabin. I take a few cautious steps forward and look at the front door for a moment longer, before heading along the porch and looking along to see that Julie is at the glass door.

She pauses for a moment, before reaching out and sliding the door open.

And then she raises the rifle.

“I'm sorry,” she sobs, as I hear the sound of Jon scrambling toward her inside the front room. He's snarling louder than ever. “I love you so much. I'm sorry. I love you. I -”

Before she can finish, she fires the gun. A blast rings out and she takes a step back, and there's a heavy thud from inside the cabin.

Finally everything falls still and quiet.

I stare along the porch, watching Julie, waiting for Jon to step out through the door. After a moment, however, I realize that I can't hear him at all.

“Oh God,” Julie whimpers, dropping to her knees and letting the rifle fall from her hands, as she continues to stare through the door. “Please forgive me. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't leave him like that, I just couldn't...”

She puts her hands over her face and starts weeping uncontrollably. I've never seen her like this before, but usually when she's upset Jon makes her feel better. This time, however, there's no sign of him.

I make my way cautiously along the porch until I reach the open glass door. Looking inside, I see that Jon is slumped just a few feet away, with most of his head having been blasted clean away. There's not much blood, since his body seems to have become very dry over the past few days, but I can see some bones poking out through the stump at the top of his neck, and there are more pieces of bone and meat sprayed across the floor.

“I'm so sorry,” Julie sobs, and her whole body is shuddering now as she continues to weep.

I watch Jon's body for a moment, as I slowly start to realize that he's not coming back. I can't smell him at all now. With the glass door having finally been opened, it's clear that the interior of the cabin reeks of death, and the scent is coming almost exclusively from Jon. The part of him that gave him his unique scent is gone, which means that
he's
gone.