The Duke of Daring (The Untouchables Book 2) (25 page)

Grandmama blinked at him, her expression rapt. “You ascended in a balloon?”

“I did. Last week.”

Grandmama’s eyes lit. “How wonderful! If I were twenty years younger, I’d love to fly among the clouds.” Her gaze turned wistful.

Andrew chuckled again. “Perhaps you should be the Duchess of Daring.”

Another blush stained Grandmama’s cheeks. “I’m far too old for you, dear, but I appreciate the sentiment.” She winked at him, and Lucy nearly hugged Judith as she entered at precisely that moment, saving her from further torture as Grandmama fell even deeper under Andrew’s spell.

Judith, already garbed for their outing, handed Lucy her bonnet and her gloves.

“Thank you,” Lucy murmured.

“Have a nice walk,” Grandmama said, smiling particularly at Andrew. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Dartford.”

He bowed to her again, this time taking her hand and floating a kiss above her knuckles. “I assure you, the pleasure was entirely mine.”

Grandmama giggled softly and waved them off.

Lucy rolled her eyes as she preceded him from the room. Burton opened the door, and she left the house, going down the stairs and out along the pavement without waiting for him.

He caught up easily, coming up on her right. “You’re quite angry with me.”

She glanced at him, her eyes wide. “Why ever would you think that?”

“Because you should be. I was an ass.”

Whatever Lucy had expected, and she’d really had no idea, it wasn’t that. The ire that had propelled her from the house dissipated and was replaced with an uneasy wariness.

“Yes, you were.”

“Good, I’m glad we agree. Now we may move on.”

Lucy stopped short and stared at him as he continued for another couple of steps. Did he mean to just forget about everything that had happened at Darent Hall? “I think you owe me an explanation.”

He’d turned but didn’t meet her eyes. “There’s nothing to explain. I fell out of a balloon, and I behaved in a ghastly manner.”

He meant to blame it all on his accident? She moved closer so she could lower her voice to a near whisper. “Which part was ghastly, exactly—the part where you seduced me or the part where you evicted me from your house forever?” She delighted in the play of emotions across his face—his eyes widening, his brow furrowing, his jaw dropping for an instant.

“Did I really seduce you? I thought, and perhaps I was fabulously mistaken, that you’d shared in the seduction duties.”

“Even if I did, you didn’t answer my question,
which
part was ghastly? Or was it all just a tremendous, horrid mistake?”

He pressed his lips together and looked at her intently. He inched closer, keeping his voice low. “All of it was a tremendous mistake. I wouldn’t, however, characterize it as horrid. Would you?”

His gaze dipped briefly, caressing her body before piercing her with heat and desire. Damn him.
 

She steeled herself against the arousal he was stirring within her. “That morning was absolutely horrid. I was so worried for you, and you cast me out with no concern whatsoever. I think I deserved better than that.”

He started to touch her hand, but let go. She wished he hadn’t, but they were standing on a public street. She understood why they couldn’t do that. Not here. Not anywhere, really. He’d said what she knew in her heart—it had all been a mistake.

“You deserved far better than everything that happened. I mistreated you badly, Lucy, and I’m deeply sorry. Can we walk?”

Overcome by the depth of sincerity in his apology, she couldn’t find her voice. She nodded.
 

He offered her his arm, and she took it. She glanced back at Judith, who’d stopped several paces behind them. They exchanged knowing looks. Judith was well aware of who Andrew was. While Lucy hadn’t told her about what had happened at Darent Hall—she hadn’t told anyone, not even Ivy and Aquilla, who’d been frustrated by Lucy’s lack of disclosure—she knew Andrew was the man who accompanied her to the hells.

As they walked to the corner, Lucy reflected on how strange it was to be traversing this path with him in broad daylight and dressed as a woman. He seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he chuckled softly. “This feels somehow wrong.”
 

Lucy couldn’t help but smile. No matter what happened, she had wonderful memories of the time she’d shared with this man.

“Sometimes I have nightmares,” he said, surprising her with his candor. Like his heartfelt apology, she didn’t quite know how to react to his honesty. “And they leave me somewhat…debilitated. I didn’t want you to have to deal with that.”

“That didn’t mean you had to send me away.”

“But I did. You shouldn’t have stayed in the first place. You must agree that we both lost our heads.”

Yes, they had. “I don’t regret staying, however. And if that makes me a scandalous hussy, then so be it.”

He threw her a half smile. “How I adore your intrepid streak.”

How she adored hearing him say he adored anything about her. She wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it deuced difficult what with his charming apologies, demonstrations of common sense, and willingness to open up to her.

“What are your nightmares about?” she asked.

“Is it enough for me to say they’re terrifying and I don’t wish to discuss them?” He stared straight ahead. “I hate to admit that even talking about them can threaten to send me into an attack.”

She squeezed his arm. “I’m so sorry.” She’d thought about that morning a great deal over the past week and thought she’d come up with a reasonable explanation. She only wanted to know if she was right—not for her own edification but because she wanted to know him. “Was it to do with losing your family?”

He snapped his head toward her, but only briefly. “Did Mrs. Alder tell you about them?”

“Yes. Don’t be upset with her.” She’d fawned all over Lucy when she’d helped her back into her Smitty costume, apologizing for Andrew and saying that he wasn’t himself and that she hoped Lucy wouldn’t hold his behavior against him. “She cares about you like a mother.”

“She’s not my mother.” The words came fast and hard.

Lucy winced, realizing that had been the absolute wrong thing to say. “No, she’s not. But she’s still like family, isn’t she?”

“No.”

They walked in silence for a bit, almost to Devonshire House. He finally said, “I don’t have a family, and I like it that way. You and I—we prefer to be alone, independent. I think it’s why we formed a…connection.”

She agreed, but when you liked being with someone more than you liked being alone, what then? Especially when the person you liked being with more than being alone didn’t feel the same. Lucy tugged on his arm, turning them since they’d arrived in front of Devonshire House.

He followed her lead. “I’ve been thinking about that connection.”

She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what was coming. “I have too.” He’d occupied too many of her thoughts of late.

“Since you can no longer continue as Smitty—”

“Not since you made him a physician and ruined the entire scheme.” It was rude of her to cut him off, but she thought he deserved it.
 

“I apologize for that as well.” Again, he sounded earnest and truly remorseful. Lucy appreciated that, but it didn’t change the fact that she now had to readjust everything. “I should like to make amends. I have several ideas about how to provide you the money you need to take your grandmother to Bath.”

Provide her? Her skin prickled as she tried to imagine what he was going to propose. “What do you have in mind?”

“First, if you have any items of value, I’d be happy to sell them. Although, you really don’t need to. I’d be delighted to give you a sum, which I will invest on your behalf.”

She stopped again, her mind processing what he’d said. “You want to just give me money?” There was only one reason a man gave money to a woman who wasn’t his wife.

Wife. If she was his wife, he could give her all the money she needed. But she didn’t want to be his wife. She didn’t want to be anyone’s wife.

Liar.

The whispered voice in the back of her mind echoed through her, turning her insides into knots. She could marry him. In fact, she
would
—if he asked. Despite what she’d thought earlier in her anger, he
was
a good man, just troubled. And she could help him work through that. She could be the family he didn’t have. She wanted to be.

Oh God, she
was
falling in love with him.

And she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to marry him. She didn’t want to want him, not when he didn’t want her.

She let go of his arm and started walking again, passing Judith who’d stopped when they’d turned at Devonshire House.

He walked beside her. “What are you thinking?”

“That I don’t want your money. It’s offensive that you would even make the offer.”

“I realize it’s scandalous, but no one has to know. We’re rather good at keeping secrets.”

From each other too. He never would’ve told her what had happened to his family and how it had affected him, she realized. She still didn’t really understand the latter.
 

She didn’t want a man she couldn’t trust—not after her father. “I don’t want a man managing my life. I’ll find something you can sell. That’s the only offer I’ll accept.” She tried to think of what she might give him. All she had was a pearl necklace and matching pair of earrings that had belonged to her mother. She wouldn’t ask Grandmama for anything of hers.

She kept up a brisk pace, and they turned onto Bolton Street.

“You’re angry with me again,” he said.

“No, just thinking,” she lied. She
was
angry, but at herself as much as at him. “If you wait outside, I’ll send my maid down with the items you can sell.”

“What about investing the funds?” he asked. “Will you let me do that?”

That would only tie them together, and she wanted him out of her life. “No, thank you. I expect you to obtain a decent sum. Please deliver it at your earliest convenience.” They arrived in front of the town house. “I thank you for your acquaintance and wish you all the best in the future. Good day, my lord.” She turned quickly and motioned for Judith to come with her.

At the door, Lucy threw him a brief glance. His lips were pursed, and his forehead had formed deep grooves. Good. Let him be confused or upset or whatever he was. She was sure it would fade. Unlike her, he would be able to disentangle himself from their connection with barely any bother. She suspected Andrew would remain with her for a long time, and of course the memories she had of him would last forever.

She ran upstairs to her room to fetch the jewelry. She didn’t want to become sentimental or change her mind. Quickly, she wrapped them in a handkerchief and gave them to Judith. “Give these to his lordship.”

Judith’s hand closed around the pearls. “What am I to say?”

Chapter Fourteen

A
ndrew walked into Boodle’s and made his way to the parlor where he typically met his friends. He hadn’t thought overmuch about how they might react to seeing him, but now that he was here, he wondered if any of them harbored anger toward him at the way he’d behaved following the balloon descent.

“Dart!” Beaumont grinned widely at him as he entered. “Come and join us.”

The table was quite populated—Charles, Thursby, and Greene were there, as well as two other gentlemen.

“It’s about time you showed up,” Thursby said. “We’ve been wondering about your recuperation.”

Andrew couldn’t recall everyone who’d been at Darent Hall beyond Greene, Beaumont, and Charles—he remembered them. He assumed Thursby had been one of them. “I’m quite recovered, thank you. It was a hell of a fall.”

Charles shuddered. “Indeed. You won’t catch me trying that. I daresay you won’t be doing it again either.”

“Actually, I’ll be going up again soon. This time I plan to parachute.”

Charles gaped at him. “Did the fall injure your head?”

Andrew laughed. “Well, yes, but not permanently.”

“Then you’ve gone mad.”

“He’s always been a little mad,” Beaumont said. “Who else would jump nude into the Thames in the middle of the night?”