The Earl of Ice (13 page)

* * *

Caroline and Emily were frequent visitors at the Brockwood town house, as were Pru and her parents. Caroline had been in London only four weeks when she called to give Diana some good news.

“Mr. Straw, that is, Henry, has proposed and I have accepted!” Caroline excitedly informed her best friend.

“That is the best news!” Diana clasped Caroline in a warm embrace. “I am so happy for you.”

“He told me that he would wait a lifetime if needed, but he would never consider marrying anyone but me.”

“How romantic,” sighed Diana. “To think he has waited for you all this time.”

Caroline smiled. “I couldn’t resist him any longer, and with you now happily married, I felt that I can now forgive him and we can put the past behind us.”

“I certainly hope you will be as happy with Henry as I am with Rollo.”

* * *

Pru and Emily proved popular throughout the season, but neither girl made any serious attachments, and Diana even heard a rumour that her sister had rejected an inappropriate proposal of marriage. At the end of the season, both declared that they were looking forward to returning to London the following year.

By the end of August, London had become hot and somewhat smelly, and Rollo and Diana were ready to return to Hampshire and a quieter life in the country. Oliver, who was pursuing Miss Fanhope, a young lady from a good family, remained in London to continue with his courtship.

Diana dozed in the carriage on the journey home, feeling absolutely exhausted. She was certain that too many late nights were to blame.

Several days after her return to Brockwood Hall, Diana found that she was still feeling very tired. She continued with her usual activities, but everything seemed more of an effort. She mentioned this to Tilly one morning while being dressed.

“Could it be that you are expecting?” Tilly asked.

“Expecting what?” was Diana’s absent response until it dawned on her what Tilly was suggesting.

“You have been married over a year now, my lady.”

Diana’s world caved in on her, and she felt the room spinning. Tilly, seeing her sudden pallor, helped her to the bed, where Diana curled into a ball and sobbed, “I cannot be, I must not be!” When she cast her mind back, she could not recall the last time she had had her monthly bleed. Goodness, she must have got caught with child on the night before the Whittington Ball. She remembered that on that night, when they had made love, Rollo had spilled his seed inside her. At his instruction she had douched herself thoroughly and had assumed all was well.

“Please don’t mention this to anyone,” she begged Tilly. “Oh, it cannot be right,” she moaned again. “I cannot have a baby.” She felt her stomach, and it did feel less palpable than usual. She knew that she had gained a little weight, but had thought this was due to the sumptuous meals they had consumed when in London.

“My lady, it will be lovely to have a baby in the house,” soothed Tilly, who was surprised that her mistress had not realized she was with child. Tilly had thought she may be for some weeks, because of the lack of her mistress’ monthlies.

Diana was not to be soothed. “I cannot have a baby,” she repeated, and Tilly now realized that Diana was serious. “You must help me get rid of it. I have heard there are women who can help with this.”

“My lady, I don’t know any such women.” If they did exist Tilly was not sure it was a good idea to seek one out.

“My husband must not find out,” Diana muttered more to herself than Tilly. Her mind was racing. Rollo was so adamant about not having any children in case they inherited his epilepsy. And with her own brother also having had this condition, the chance was even greater. She also worried about passing on her brother’s slowness with learning. Oh, how could this happen when they had been so careful?

“Tilly, I beg you, you must find out for me how women rid themselves of unwanted babies. Ask below stairs and I am sure someone will know, but don’t tell anyone about me, I will reward you handsomely, I promise.” Tears began streaming down her cheeks.

Tilly was moved by the sight of her mistress, who was clearly distraught. “I will do my best, my lady,” she promised as she left Diana sobbing into the pillow.

Tilly took only her sister Mary into her confidence and between them they hatched a plan. Tilly was to let the other servants believe that it was Mary who had got herself into trouble.

“Any case,” Mary declared, “they think I’m a funny one working in stables with menfolk and horses.”

It seemed there were such who claimed to rid women of unwanted babies in Hampshire, and Mrs. Hutchins, the cook, gave them directions for a woman who lived in Harping, a village less than three miles from Brockwood Hall.

“We had a parlour maid here who went to her to get rid of a little problem,” Mrs. Hutchins explained.

Diana was relieved when Tilly told her she had contacted a woman who claimed she could help and they had arranged to visit her the following week. Meanwhile, Diana tried other ways to get rid of the unwanted burden. For two mornings she asked for Demon to be saddled. It was well known that a pregnant woman should not ride as it could cause the loss of the baby.

She gave Demon his head and had him jump hedges and walls, but it seemed that she was more in danger of injuring herself than the unborn child. And poor Demon strained his fetlock, and still no sign that the baby had been dislodged.

Worried that Rollo might notice the subtle changes in her body, Diana kept to her room for the next two days pleading a headache and had him to sleep in the adjoining room. She could see that this had upset him, but she couldn’t risk his discovering her condition. On the day of her visit to the woman in Harping, she had no choice but to declare herself well again.

“I am pleased to see you are feeling better,” was Rollo’s greeting as she helped herself to some breakfast that morning.

Diana forced a smile. “Yes, indeed, and I feel so much better that I intend to go into town and visit the library and the dressmaker.” She hated lying to him but had no choice. “Tilly will accompany me, I expect to be home for dinner this evening.”

“Enjoy your day,” her unsuspecting husband replied.

Diana left soon after breakfast. Tilly gave the driver directions and then rode in the small unmarked carriage with her while Mary sat atop.

“I am scared,” Diana confided to her maid.

“Do you really have to do this, my lady?” asked Tilly, who was very worried about her mistress and the part she was playing in this.

“I cannot tell you the reason, but you must believe me that I need to get rid of this baby.” Diana could not tell her maid about her husband’s fits and about his determination not to sire children. She couldn’t think what to do if this did not work.

Eventually the carriage pulled up outside a tumbledown house just outside the village of Harping. An old woman opened the door to them and showed them into the one room. The room was not clean and neither was the old woman. Tilly grabbed Diana’s arm and tried to pull her back out, but Diana shrugged her off. She needed to do whatever it took to end this unwanted life growing inside her.

“Lie down,” the old woman instructed and pointed to a bed at the rear of the room. Diana lay on her back on the unwashed bedding and had to stop herself gagging at the smell coming from it. Much to her dismay, the crone then put her hands up her clothing and began prodding her stomach.

“Quite far on, aren’t you, dearie,” she croaked. “Reckon about four or five months, so well established. Will be difficult.”

“Please,” begged Diana. “I will pay you well, do what must be done quickly so I can get back home,”

“It’s not that easy.” The old woman went to a dresser and began pulling down bottles and mixing different liquids and herbs together until she seemed satisfied with the potion. “Sit up and drink this.” She passed Diana a dirty mug containing the brown liquid. “Down in one is best. It will not taste pleasant,” she advised.

As directed, Diana tipped the liquid down her throat in one go, resisting the temptation to hold her nose to escape the pungent aroma. “What happens now?” she asked.

“Be still,” the crone snapped. “Stay there and give it time to work. We’ll see soon enough.”

Diana did as instructed and stayed on the bed, Tilly and Mary both anxiously watching her. After about twenty minutes Diana felt stomach cramps. “I think it is working,” she cried out in pain. She then started vomiting, and the cramps and vomiting continued until she no longer had the strength to sit upright.

After about an hour of no improvement Tilly and Mary became concerned. “Is this normal?” Tilly asked the old woman. “Has my mistress lost the baby now?”

“Too early to say, too early to say,” muttered the old woman.

When, after another hour, Diana was only able to rouse from semi-consciousness in order to vomit, the old woman decided it was time this fine lady left her house.

“You must take her home now. She can’t stay here. Whatever will happen will happen. My job is done.”

“She is surely too ill to move,” said a concerned Tilly.

“You must take her and now,” the crone snarled, indicating the door and pushing them toward it.

Tilly and Mary had to carry Diana between them into the waiting carriage. They feared for her life. “What will the master do to us if owt happens to the mistress,” cried Mary.

“We must pray she survives,” answered Tilly, who was also in tears.

The carriage eventually reached Brockwood Hall, and Lord Brockwood came out onto the drive to meet it.

“My lady has taken ill,” said Tilly through her tears. “We must get her to bed right away.”

Rollo saw that Diana was nearly unconscious and covered in vomit. Without hesitation he scooped her up into his arms. His heart was thumping in his chest with fear, and he realized that this woman, his wife, meant more to him than his own life.

“You. Driver. Go for Dr. Sanders and bring him here immediately. Tell him it is urgent.” The driver set off with the carriage at a blistering pace.

Rollo carefully carried Diana to her room and placed her on the bed. His usually expressionless face was now frowning deeply with concern. He asked Tilly to get a damp cloth and a towel and began to clean her up. Then he wiped at his own soiled clothing while Tilly got Diana into a clean nightgown. The doctor arrived just as she finished.

“Cornelius, thank you for being so prompt,” Rollo greeted him. He had known Dr. Cornelius Sanders since childhood. The doctor was the youngest son of Lord Deely, whose estate abutted the Brockwood estate. Cornelius had been destined for the clergy, but while studying at Oxford University, he had become fascinated with science and, much to his parents’ dismay, had changed his studies to medicine. Upon qualifying, he had returned to the area to practice and had engendered an excellent reputation. Rollo knew he could trust this man.

“Please hurry,” Rollo said. “I fear for my wife’s life. I beg you to do all you can to make her well again. I love her deeply and cannot lose her.”

Cornelius nodded. He had never before seen or heard Rollo display such emotion and sympathized with his fears. “Rollo, I must ask you to leave the room while I carry out my examination, and you—” he looked at Tilly “—must collect yourself and assist me with your mistress.” The maid’s distress and sobbing led him to suspect she knew more about Lady Brockwood’s illness than did her husband.

Diana was too weak to talk and was still retching painfully, even though there was nothing left in her stomach to bring up. She had heard Rollo’s entreaty to the doctor and his words of love for her. Her heart almost broke as she wondered if she would still have his love if he found out that she had been, perhaps still was, with child.

The doctor was gently but firmly demanding a response to his questions. When she failed to answer him he turned to the maid. “Tell me where your mistress has been and what she has eaten today.”

Tilly, who had calmed somewhat, burst into tears again. “I cannot tell. My mistress has instructed me not to.”

Cornelius was not satisfied with this and took a firmer approach. “If you do not tell me, I cannot treat your mistress and she may die. I will lay the blame on your shoulders. Is that what you want?”

“No!” Tilly wailed. She feared she’d be dismissed as a lady’s maid, but as she was genuinely fond of her mistress, she tried to be helpful without breaking her promise.

“We went visiting and Lady Brockwood was given something to drink, and afterward she began to be sick and just got worse and worse.”

Well, that’s a start,
thought Cornelius. It seemed that he should consider food poisoning. “Can you remember
what
your mistress was given to drink?” he inquired.

“That I do not know,” Tilly replied truthfully. She had no knowledge of what the old woman had mixed together for Lady Brockwood to drink.

It was clear he would get little more information from the maid, so turned his attention to Lady Brockwood. “I am going to examine you now, my lady. I will try to be gentle, but I need to ascertain if you are suffering as a result of poison of some kind, or if you have a physical problem such as a twisted gut.” He placed his hands on her abdomen, hoping he could palpate her stomach through her thin nightshirt. As soon as he applied a little pressure, he believed that he had found the condition that accounted for her illness. He took his ear trumpet out of his bag and applied it to Lady Brockwood’s slightly distended belly, and smiled when he heard the steady beat that could only be the heartbeat of a developing child.

Diana became alarmed at the gentle probing of her abdomen and her fears were confirmed by Dr. Sanders’ next question.

“My lady, I assume that you and your maid are aware that you are with child. I insist that one of you tell me honestly what has occurred this day,” he asked, but gently, sensing their fear.

Tears began to flow down Diana’s cheeks. The attempt at losing the baby had not been successful. It must be a strong little thing, determined to survive, and for the first time, she felt a stirring of love for this child growing inside her.

But she loved Rollo more and he did not want children.

“Doctor,” she said weakly, “I need to rid myself of this child. My husband does not know I carry it and he will not want it. He has been quite clear that he does not want children.”

She took several deep breaths before continuing, “Today I went to a woman in the village who said she could help. She gave me a foul potion to drink, but even though I am sick and in such pain, it seems the baby is still within me.” She looked pleadingly at the doctor “Will…will you help?”

Cornelius did not answer immediately. He knew that Lord Brockwood had always said he would not have children because of the fear they would inherit his epilepsy; but he also knew Rollo well enough to believe that he would not blame his wife for her present condition.

“I am sure your husband will be understanding even if he is surprised by your condition. He must be aware that in a marriage there is always a chance of a baby, however careful you may have been.” He shook his head. “I cannot help you get rid of the baby. It has a strong and healthy heartbeat, and I should think it is more than sixteen weeks’ gestation, judging by your size. Perhaps your husband has noticed and is waiting for you to break the news?”

“No, I am certain that is not the case,” said Diana tearfully. “Will you tell him?”

Cornelius thought it unlikely that Rollo would not have at least a suspicion of his wife’s condition, if not outright certainty, but wisely did not contradict the distraught Diana.