The Embers Of My Heart (2 page)

"What can I say?" I flexed.

Before we could continue our discussion, someone knocked on our door. "It's open," Max shouted.

"You're open." Jess and Lisa walked into our room, Lisa making a direct beeline for Drew and throwing her arms around him. Jess faced Max and planted her hands on her hips. "Wow, Maxie, you actually look kind of decent. Did you get a wardrobe upgrade for Christmas?"

I felt a sudden pang of guilt. Jess's hair was just as red as Star's. I pushed those thoughts aside and looked over at Lisa. She was practically in Drew's lap already. When she noticed me, she threw me a wink. "What's up, Kev? Enjoy your vacation?"

"Most of it," I said. "How about you?"

"It had its ups and downs," she said. She glanced over at Max and Jess, who were now in the midst of a lazy argument full of feigned insults and lies. "I missed everyone, though! Things are so much more exciting here! Speaking of exciting, we should all go out tonight!"

"Go out where?" Drew asked, raising his voice enough to get everyone's attention.

Lisa rattled off a list of places in downtown Troy. "So I just thought we could celebrate getting back here and being all together again! What do you think?"

"Lisa, it's negative three hundred and seventy nine degrees outside. What makes you think I'm going to go outside?" Jess asked. "You're going to have to make a pretty damn good case for this."

"I'll ask Andreas to cut power to our room."

"I hate you."

"So it's settled, right?" Lisa bounced up to her feet. "I'm going to go ask Kait and Nikki! Kev, come with me!"

I froze. What was I going to say, that I had already been down to their room less than a half hour ago and already gotten into a fight with my girlfriend? "I don't know-"

"I already know," Lisa cut me off. "Kait told me some of the stuff Nikki told her."

"Oh. Wait. What?"

"We'll talk on the way," she said. "Come on!"

I got to my feet and let her drag me out of the room. Behind me, I heard Jess complain. "What the hell, why am I the only one who doesn't know what the fuck is going on?"

Lisa kept a grip on my wrist until we reached the stairwell, then stopped halfway down. "You're playing with lots and lots of fire, Kev," she said quietly. "I know I'm hearing all about these things third hand, and it doesn't make you look good, but I know you, I know Kaitlyn loves drama, and I know your girlfriend is just a little psycho. She's way too mad over this."

"You're telling me," I said. "I can't believe you found out already. I just talked to her a little while ago. Do you and Kaitlyn have some sort of psychic connection?"

"Maybe." She shook her head. "Seriously though, she's getting way too possessive. Don't let that happen."

"Maybe she just likes me?"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly. I've seen other girls pull this. She's going to get under your skin and try to pull you away from everyone else. Haven't you seen how distant she is to all of us? I keep asking her to do stuff with us, but she never wants to. Girl doesn't even want to shop. How does that even work? What do you two do when you're alone? Wait, do I really want to know?"

"Oh, I've got a great story."

"No! No, don't tell me, I take it back!"

I laughed. "We usually just cuddle with a movie or Netflix or something."

"Cuddle? Sure, Kev, sure!"

Sometimes, I was desperately jealous of Drew. This was one of those times. "How are you two doing?" I asked.

"Me and Drew? Pretty good, I guess?" She smiled and gave me a half-shrug. "We've already got plans for a date this weekend. Some shopping, dinner, maybe a movie or something easy like that. We talked a lot over the break. He's turning into a proper gentleman, which is really weird, right?"

"Absolutely."

"He's come a long way from the player he used to be."

Considering what he had told me to do with Kaitlyn, he still had a ways to go. "I'm sure if he pulls something shitty on you again, you'll put him in his place."

"Damn straight," she said. She started walking down the stairs again. "Come on, let's get down there and get Kait!"

"What would you do if he cheated on you?" The words slipped out of my mouth without thinking. She froze in mid-step. One hand grabbed the rail, she returned her lifted foot to the step she was on, and she looked over her shoulder up at me.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" she asked. Her tone was as flat as I'd ever heard it.

"No, not at all," I said, lifting my hands. "I'm sorry, that just slipped out."

Lisa sized me up. In that moment, I felt she had far more mind-reading power than anyone in the Establishment for Psionic Order. "You're thinking about it."

"No," I said. "Not seriously, at least."

"Don't," she advised. "Kev, don't. Look at me. Don't. Nikki's a bit crazy, and if you do that, she's going to go full scale crazy. We're talking apocalyptic level crazy. If you're thinking about it, just break up with her first. That'll still get some crazy on you, but not near as much. I'm totally serious. Don't even get close to doing it. Don't even let her think you've ever thought about it."

I nodded and wished I could un-ask the question. "Sorry. Random thoughts."

"I hear you." She resumed walking. "Let me tell you what I would do to Drew if I found out he had a side piece, though." I had to cover my ears after a minute. She didn't stop until we reached Kaitlyn's room. "So, in short, it'd be a bad idea for him. Got it?"

"I wish I had never asked."

"Don't we both. Now, here's the plan. You stand here." She pushed me against the wall outside of their room. "Shut up and listen. You need a better idea of what she's like to us. Don't make a sound." I nodded and she knocked on the door. "Katie!"

"Lisa!" Kait bounced the door open. "What up, girl?"

"We're going out tonight!"

"I'm coming!" I stifled a laugh. I didn't expect anything less. "I'll call you when I'm ready!"

"What about you, Nikki?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I was planning on washing my hair tonight."

"Are you sure? Kev's coming with us, he'll be sad if you don't!"

I didn't expect her to laugh. "Yeah, ok. As long as he gets attention, he'll be just fine. Have some drinks, flirt with some girls, that's all that boy needs."

"Earth to Nikki, you're the one dating him," Lisa said.

"Your point being?"

Lisa sighed. "Hey, I'm not going to pry into your relationship-"

"So don't."

"-but you shouldn't blow everyone off just because you're pissed at him."

"Whatever you say. Have fun!" I saw Lisa step back and heard the door shut. She looked to me and rolled her eyes, then pointed back the way we came. We walked down the hall in silence. Nikki was definitely being cold there, but it wasn't completely out of line, considering our earlier conversation. Lisa didn't deserve that treatment though.

When we reached the stairwell, Lisa tapped my shoulder. "So?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe she's having a bad day. We did have another little fight earlier today."

"You didn't see it. She looked through me with this empty expression. I was nothing to her. Super creepy. You don't even know."

I took a deep breath as we walked up the stairs. "I'll talk to her later and try and get through all this. I know she doesn't dislike you, so there's got to be something else going on."

Lisa didn't say anything until we reached the top of the stairs. "Haven't you had a girlfriend in the past?"

"Not really, but I was pretty close with my friend Steph, and she was never like this."

She shook her head. "Sometimes, Kev, you really make me wonder."

Chapter Two

The relentless bass sent tingles through every part of my body. It got other people up and moving. It made me vaguely ill. I sat alone at the table, sipping from a glass of water, watching my friends. Kaitlyn moved from guy to guy, never spending too much time with one, but making sure everyone got at least a touch or glance. She winked when she saw me watching her and mouthed something at me. Drew's advice rang through my head as she bounced, swayed, and glowed under the lights. I had to look away as his idea started sounding better and better. On the other side of the floor, Drew and Lisa danced together. Drew grinned down at her and she smiled up at him. Neither of them seemed to see anyone else. I again had to look away.

Max, Jess, and Andreas were congregating around an old arcade machine. I expected Jess to take them both on without any problem, but she threw her hands up in the air and stepped back. She glanced back at me and waved. I waved back and she gestured for me to come join them, but I shook my head. Someone had to watch our table. When I looked up again, Jess was parting the sea of humanity with her usual disregard for social norms. She cut directly between a couple, seemed to consider pushing Kaitlyn over, and finally dropped herself in the seat next to me. "What's the story, nerd?"

"What story?"

"Why'd you come if your lady's all whiny and bitchy about you coming?" She grinned at me.

"Lisa talks too much," I said.

"Lisa didn't tell me shit. Max and Drew filled me in on what happened over break. That girl is naturally whiny and bitchy, and since she's not here, I assume that's what she's being whiny and bitchy about. Did you do something else? Acting like more of a complete ass?"

"That's more her than me," I said.

"It's probably both of you."

"Probably." I sighed. "I don't know why I'm here."

"Is that an existential question? I have so many answers for that."

"No, as in coming out tonight."

She twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "Let's see. You wanted to do stuff that would get her off your mind. Distract yourself from whatever bullshit she's pulling. It's not working, she's on your mind even more, and now you're miserable."

"Get out of my head."

"Yeah, it's kind of nasty in there. But don't worry, your humanity is safe with me."

I glared at her. "You're lucky I don't break a glass over your head."

"Oh, hyper violent reaction!" She smirked at me. "Going to buy some wifebeaters and shave your head? Grunt a lot? Breathe exclusively through your mouth?"

"What should I do?" I asked.

Her smirk vanished and she shrugged. "Get out of here. Go talk to her and see if she's ready to get over whatever bullshit is between you two. Leaving just to see her will score you some major points, dude." She leaned in a little closer. "Plus if you play your cards right, maybe you'll get some epic make-up sex."

"That's a tempting thought. Unlikely, but it's nice to dream."

"The next bus leaves soon," she said. We had taken Andreas' van. "Don't worry about ditching us. I'll make sure we give you some time. Unless you want Kaitlyn back early to walk in on you. She'd probably be into that. I think she's into everything. Or everything's into her. Is there a difference?"

"No, that's quite all right." I stood up and grabbed my coat. "Thanks, Jess."

"Make me proud, tiger."

I walked to the door and looked back for a moment. None of my friends seemed to notice me leaving except for her. She lifted a hand and smiled. I pushed the door open and walked out into the cold. The trip back to Ripley was frosty at best, arctic at worst. It took longer than I had hoped to get back to the dorm. By the time I knocked on her door, warmth was a distant memory.

She cracked the door open. "I thought you were out picking up chicks."

"Too heavy," I said. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. Talk." She didn't move from the doorway.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

I reached through the crack and grabbed her hand. Her eyes grew wide. "Kevin! You're freezing!"

"I hadn't noticed."

She pulled me into her room and sat me down on the edge of her bed. Her hands were painfully warm against mine. "Didn't you wear gloves?"

"Nope. No gloves, no hat. Two layers." I gave her what I hoped was a winning smile.

"You're an idiot." She rubbed my hands between hers. "What were you thinking? How long were you out there? Did you walk back from downtown or something?"

"No, I took the shuttle, but it dropped me at the edge of campus. Driver said something about not making the run all the way to the campus center every trip."

"What a load of shit," she said. "You didn't have the presence of mind to warm yourself up?"

"That's your area of expertise," I said. I could have, but I was worried about setting myself on fire with the issues I'd been having. "I never got the hang of it."

She shook her head and the whites of her eyes glowed green, throwing strange shadows all over her room. "I'm going to try something new," she said. A fire seemed to spring to life where her hands touched mine and I pulled free with a yelp. "Sorry!" She held her hands close to mine without touching.

"Feels like you're a human radiator now," I said.

The glow in her eyes abruptly cut off and she waved her hands in the air. "Ouch. That didn't go the way I wanted it to. Are you still cold?"

"Yeah, a bit."

She pulled her comforter over and put it around my shoulders. After a short pause, she sat next to me and pulled it around herself as well, leaving us shoulder to shoulder. "Is that better?"

"Better." She was looking down at the floor, or over at the door, or anywhere but at me. "Nikki?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to look at me when you say that?"

"No."

"Are you really mad?"

"Maybe."

"Are you sure?"

She elbowed me in the ribs. "I'm going to get mad if you keep bugging me about it."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry too."

"You should be," I said and put my arms around her. "I think we were both overreacting."

She leaned into me. Her hair smelled sweet, floral. She actually had washed her hair. "I was worried about you. You never told me what happened. With Shade."

My arms tightened around her. "What did Absynthe tell you?"