The Embers Of My Heart (5 page)

She stood at the front of the room and started to talk. I tuned her out and studied Burke. He gazed into my eyes, and all of a sudden, I found myself pulled into telepresence. I hadn't even noticed Burke's eyes glow. His realm was practically empty, a floor of black and white tiles extending in all directions, stars dimly burning overhead. He stood a few feet in front of me, arms crossed. "Parker."

"Burke."

"That's Professor or Doctor Burke."

"We're not in the committee right now," I said. "And I'll show you as much respect as you show me."

His gaze narrowed and the stars shimmered above us. "Absynthe and Shade have spoken at length about you."

"All good things, I hope."

"Mostly," he said. I tried not to let my surprise show. "Your innate strength and ability are remarkable. Your attitude and personality are also remarkable. I felt it would be prudent to invite you to this group in order to make my own judgment. Your question tells me that you are a cynic, Mr. Parker. You do not trust authority, nor do you have any implicit respect for it."

"And that's a problem?"

"That is a statement of fact," he said. "Whether it's a problem is up to you."

I had to revise my opinion of the man. He wasn't being an asshole; he was giving me a chance to be myself. "If you've spoken with my trainers, I'm sure you've heard about how reluctant I was to sign on with this whole thing from the beginning. I'm still reluctant, to be honest. I had no choice. At least, no acceptable choice."

"You aren't the first reluctant student we have dealt with," he said. "However, you are the most powerful reluctant student we have dealt with. It may be difficult for you to understand how to deal with us, but I would ask you to remember that our situation is equally difficult. You've already attracted regional if not global attention. Frankly, this is not a situation we are well equipped to deal with."

"That's fair, but dealing with Shade-"

"His abuse was unnecessary," Burke said. I closed my mouth. "His training regimen was cruel. I argued against it and continued to do so until his removal. Believe me, Mr. Parker, you are not alone in your distaste for that man. While he accomplished many things for our Establishment, his actions toward you were frankly irrational."

"I don't know what to say," I said. "I want to believe that."

"Again, that's why I felt it prudent to nominate you for this group. While it's not perfect by any means, the administration does listen to the recommendations. I felt that introducing you to a group of your peers would be helpful for all involved."

The man was nothing if not professional. If he was lying to me, it was perfectly cold and believable. He was probably the type to cut your throat and apologize for getting blood on your shirt. He did seem honest enough. "Well, thank you for placing that much trust in me."

"You're welcome." The telepresence link snapped and I found myself back in the room with the rest of the group. No one seemed to have noticed the psionic conversation, though some people were rubbing their heads. Either Burke had modified everyone's memories on the fly, or he had somehow made his eyeglow unnoticeable. Both of those options made him at least as possible as Alistair Ripley himself. My suspicions started to grow again. Why would someone so powerful be in charge of a silly group like this?

The room fell silent as the girl in charge finished her introductory speech and returned to her seat. Burke cleared his throat and looked across the room. "As most of you have realized, 'gifted' is merely a cover term for a more select class of students. I am a senior Establishment member and each of you is in training. While normal rules regarding public use of your psionics are slightly relaxed in this setting, I would remind all of you to not use excessive power." His gaze was direct and I couldn't decide whether to smile or not.

"Professor Burke, does this mean that we're being trained together from here on out?" I recognized this guy from one of my classes last year with Ripley.

"Hardly," Burke said. "Your selection for this group is not based on your strength or power, merely on our collective judgment of your intelligence and value to our community. Some of you have had less than optimal training experiences. Some of you have had next to no actual training. Some of you have gone beyond the standard limits for students. I know at least one person in this room has seen actual combat."

"So we're not being selected for some student-led special operations group?"

Burke didn't seem to be the type of man who laughed. He didn't, though others around the room did. "No. Don't be ridiculous. You are simply a group of trainees who have earned a certain level of trust. That trust does carry some side benefits."

"Like what?" Multiple people asked at the same time.

"As you are trusted enough by the Establishment to provide us with genuine feedback, your access will be upgraded to allow you access to the full international PSInet." I didn't know what he was referring to. Luckily, I didn't have to ask the question. "Up until this point, you've been provided with only basic curated access. This will allow you to perform searches on what information has been shared between organizations."

"I thought all other organizations were hostile," asked a girl from my class. "Or at least unfriendly."

"We maintain cordial relations with many other organizations, even if our goals don't completely align. There are also general treaties in place. We tend to openly share information that benefits the psionic community at large."

I wondered if we would share the psi-scanner technology with the psionic community at large, as Burke put it. It probably depended on how sensitive it actually was. If it accurately sensed psions who were good at hiding their power use, it would be a strong strategic advantage. After Andreas finished the prototype, I'd have to try it out.

Other students bounced a few more questions off Burke, mostly trying to pick his brain for stories or information. The man refused to give anything concrete away. When the questions seemed to run out, he glanced around the room again. "As there are no further questions, we will end this informational session. I will call your names. If you wish to decline membership in this committee, your memories of this session and your invitation will vanish. There will not be another chance, but there will be no further consequences." That had to be a lie. I wouldn't trust anyone who turned this down with anything serious ever again.

He called off the list of names and as I expected, everyone affirmed their interest. My name was the last one called. "Kevin Parker," Burke said, his eyes meeting mine. The room suddenly hushed. Eyes seemed to focus on me. I didn't know if I was imagining things or not.

"Yes," I said. "I'm in."

"Excellent." Burke picked up his paper with his left hand, snapped his fingers, and the paper was ash. He flicked his hand and the ash curled neatly through the air into the garbage can. His eyes barely flickered. "Thank you all for coming. I will be in contact for our next meeting. You are dismissed." At the same moment he said that, I heard his voice in my head. "Except for you, Mr. Parker. Please wait a moment."

I stretched in my seat and waited for everyone else to file out until, it was just myself, Burke, and the president girl. "Your concerns, Ms. Anderson, are immaterial," Burke said out loud. "But you should address them to Mr. Parker himself."

"Professor, that's not necessary." Her tone was frosty. "My concerns are my own."

"Your concerns were enough to contact me before this meeting, and it seems that other members of this group have similar concerns, judging by the reactions to his name. Other members, who have never met him before, nor had any reason to have heard of his exploits."

I sat up straight. "Wait. Wait just a moment. You're telling me that you've heard stories about what I've been through and you're spreading rumors?"

Rachel glared at me. "Fine. We'll do it live. You're dangerous. My trainer told me about what happened at RPI. You killed one of the Bureau agents."

"That was in defense of my partner," I snapped. "And the Bureau agents opened with lethal force."

"Not to mention that you seem to attract trouble, like Kaze agents and rogues. Dangerous ones at that. My trainer nearly died that day, you know that? That rogue broke his entire ribcage. Internal injuries, and a mindtwist on top of that! He's lucky to be alive!"

"That's not my fault!" I lied. I had thrown a rock at him with enormous force, trying to prevent him from taking Star out. It was not my finest moment.

"Not directly," she said, tapping her fingernails on her desk. "But you know what, Parker? Strange shit seems to happen around you. Dangerously strange shit. I don't want you to attract that sort of dangerous shit to this group."

"Scared?"

"Hardly. I'm not a combat psion like you. I'm an information gathering type." She looked back to Burke. "Professor Burke told me not to pry, that you were on our side. That's fine. What's not fine is that the Establishment got six agents twisted because of you. No, it's not your fault, not directly. Indirectly, though, it is. Indirectly, it's your fault that there's unrest in New York City. Indirectly, it's your fault the feds are pissed as hell at us."

"Directly, in that case," I pointed out. "It's also directly my fault the Kaze is friendlier with us."

She sighed and shook her head. "And this is why I can't deal with you. I know that. Like I said, dangerously strange shit happens around you. Sure, some of it's good, but some of it isn't. I'll say it again though. Dangerous. You're a lightning rod for weird shit and I don't want to become collateral damage."

I shrugged and looked to Burke. "Professor, do you want me out of this group? If you feel her concerns are valid, I'll withdraw."

"Ms. Anderson raises points that are difficult to address," Burke said. He looked almost bored. "If you feel that her concerns are valid, it's up to you to address them."

"I don't think her concerns are valid at all," I said. "I think they're a load of bullshit, to be honest."

"What?"

"Look, weird shit happens around all of us, we're psions. I don't go out of my way to attract the dangerous stuff." That part was only slightly untrue. "But you know what? You fucked with the odds now. Your learned things about me that you didn't need to know. You spread it to other people, didn't even try to deny it. Now I'm under the microscope and anything that goes wrong here lands at my feet. Information gatherer my ass, you're a marketing student, right?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've already set me up. You spun the stories for everyone else. No one's going to consider me fairly now. Do you blame me for what happened to your trainer? Is that it, or are you just jealous?"

She stood up and Burke held his hand up. "Ms. Anderson." She slowly returned to her seat, her eyes never leaving mine. "Mr. Parker. There is no need to continue this."

"Of course not," I said. "I just don't like being on the shit list here."

"Then you better make sure you don't cause any trouble," she snapped.

"I don't cause trouble," I snapped back. "But I certainly end it."

"Yeah, you sure do. That Bureau agent can testify to that. Oh, wait, he can't."

It was my turn to stand up and Burke held his hand up. "Mr. Parker. Ms. Anderson. This is growing unnecessarily antagonistic." I sat back down and tried to check my temper. "I do not expect you to become friends, but I do expect you will both act responsibly and professionally during your time here."

"I understand," I said. Rachel jerked her head in a nod.

"Good. You are dismissed." He stood up and pointed to the door. I glared one more time at Rachel before heading out. The bitch knew how to push my buttons. After this meeting, I knew no one was going to treat me fairly in the group. I smiled. That move would backfire on her. If she isolated me, I didn't have to worry about my reputation anymore, and I was free to push her as much as I wanted.

I looked back over my shoulder as I got to the elevator. She was just leaving the room and our eyes locked. She pointed at her eyes and then pointed at me. I grinned and lifted two middle fingers in response. She grinned back. This was the start of a wonderful working relationship.

Chapter Four

The next two weeks passed in a blur. I found myself barely keeping up with my classes. Psionic memory enhancement was the only way I passed my first test, and that took several headaches worth of effort. I didn't have as many twisted dreams as I used to, but was losing sleep for other reasons. Now that Nikki and I had crossed that certain line of intimacy, we crossed it often and exuberantly. We didn't even try to hide it. I had the feeling that Drew was secretly proud of me.

Absynthe certainly seemed to know all about what was going on. Her training emphasized working in sync and in rhythm, usually ending with both of us drenched in sweat. Nikki was especially passionate after those sessions.

Between all of my extracurricular activities, I didn't sleep in my own bed half the time. Max tended to greet me as a long lost friend in the rare moments we were in the room at the same time. I hadn't seen Andreas, Lisa, or Jess in days.

I finally found myself alone in my room one Saturday afternoon. Kaitlyn had pulled Nikki out for a shopping trip. "We're having a girls' shopping trip," she told me. "That means you're not coming with us, no matter how much either of you whine." Nikki had only whined a little, but tossed me a quick telepathic message assuring me she'd make up for it later.

I spun my chair around for a moment. After being so busy for so long, I almost didn't know what to do with myself while alone. My thoughts drifted for a few moments before turning to my computer. In a way, it reminded me of my old life where I had automatically turned to the computer no matter what. I had old friends on there. I hadn't spoken to them in over a year now. The impulse to check in and see how they were doing was strong.

They probably barely remembered me. Just another name that vanished after going away to school, lost to real life. Instead, I logged into PSInet. I had only checked out my upgraded access once since the initial council meeting, but now I had some time to kill. I clicked on the search box and typed 'Resistance'. Star's smile flashed before my eyes. I banished the thought and waited for the search results to come back. PSInet was part of the darknet, probably the darkest part, so it took a noticeable amount of time for search results to come back through all the layered proxies.