The Embers Of My Heart (28 page)

"Your clothes look like they were designed by a three year old kid who got into a box of crayons," I said.

The grip relaxed and she fell silent. I counted to ten, twice, before she spoke again. "Kevin Parker, what on earth were you thinking? You left without notice or plan. Haven't we made it clear that you need to notify us before you do such things?"

I shrugged and took a sip of water. "It was a spur of the moment trip. Besides, your trainee spy caught up to me in the airport, right? I told my dad what I was doing, too."

She didn't even blink. "All we knew from her was your destination, that you'd be back for the next trimester, and that you'd want to speak to me right away on your return. So, here we are. You have a lot of explaining to do."

"I have a lot of explaining to do?"

"Such as why you suddenly failed most of your finals," she said. "And why you chose to vanish while you were under scrutiny from a great number of people, especially for possible Resistance ties."

I knew better than to snap back at her. I knew better than to lay a bunch of my cards on the table. I knew better than to make admissions. I knew better, but I snapped. The tension from the plane fight, the anger at having to leave Star behind once again, the stress from having to hide everything while I was back on campus, everything came to mind and overrode my better thoughts. "Sure, Absynthe. I do have a lot to explain. Just like you. Like how someone snuck a mindtwist into my brain to keep me from using my powers ever since Davidson tried to kill me. Like how no one checked up on me during that time, not even you. Like how no one gave a good god damn if I died in the process or not. But it doesn't matter, does it?" I took a deep breath and stepped right toward her. "It doesn't matter if I die at this point, does it? You have what you need from me. Have I shown off enough power for you all to be happy? I'm expendable now. Aren't I?"

She stared me down. I stared back. "What mindtwist?" she finally asked.

I threw the glass of water at her. She flicked it aside before it hit her. "What mindtwist? Are you fucking kidding me, Absynthe? Someone locked me down! Every time I tried to use my power, it fed back into the twist! But no, no one warned me about that, and no one thought to keep an eye on it, especially to check and see if I was unconsciously manifesting anything. Excuse me, trying to manifest. I had a month's worth of psionic power feeding back into my brain and it was going to make my head fucking explode!"

She shook her head. "There wasn't any mindtwist."

"You're lying."

"To my knowledge," she said. "Do you want to read me, Kevin? If you're telling the truth, I swear I didn't know about it."

"I'm sure you have plausible deniability. No one checked on me. No one cared if it went wrong."

She stepped toward me. "No one had time to coddle you. You're not the center of the universe."

"No, just the center of a breeding program."

Another step toward me. "Please tell me about this," she said. "It'll be enlightening to see what misinformation you picked up from whatever maniacs you met."

"Maniacs," I said. "Those maniacs saved my life in an emergency situation. The twist was slipping, Absynthe. By the time I got off the plane in Seattle, I was close to stroking out. I think I did have a brain bleed, actually. Lots of weird shit happening in my brain and I still don't remember some of it. They saved me." I stepped toward her and we were suddenly nose to nose. I gave her my coldest smile. "My uncle saved me."

She recoiled and her hands flew to her mouth. "You met your uncle?"

"Todd Green," I said. "He saved my life."

"Meeting with senior members of the Resistance is punishable by expulsion from the Establishment and summary removal of all of your powers," she said. There was no force behind her words. The bright red trim of her uniform faded.

"You mean you'll straight up kill me because I met with him. He saved my life!" I repeated. "He didn't try to kill me! He treats me like a person, not a resource. He's been up front with me. He told me what all the plans for me are."

She stepped back again. "He's been gone for years. He can't know what our plans are."

"Don't give me that shit. He knows more than you, I'm sure."

Her retreat stopped. "You ungrateful, impudent child. Look at what we've given you!"

"Look at the nearly fatal twist that got plugged into my head," I snapped. "Go on. You want to read me, too? We've both got plenty to hide, right?"

"You've received benefits and powers beyond your wildest dreams!"

"I don't know about that. My dreams get pretty wild."

We stared each other in the eyes. "This is getting us nowhere," she said. A chair appeared next to each of us and she sat down. I sat as well. "Kevin, what is your intention with this? What am I going to put in the report? If I mention that you met Todd, you're right, you're as good as dead. If I don't, I'm as good as dead when it comes out."

"I'll leave that up to you," I said. "I'm done being a clueless experiment. If you want my cooperation, cooperate with me too. I know I'm a trainee and I know I'm young, but this is my life at stake here. Treat me like I'm an equal in this project."

"I'll take that under consideration," she said. "We'll talk more later."

The next couple of days were a blur. I arrived home on a Friday, and classes for the fall trimester started on Monday. I hadn't registered on time and had to scramble. Class selection was limited and I just picked everything I could that applied to my major. My horrible last trimester hadn't destroyed my ability to graduate on time, but I couldn't afford another mistake like that.

On Sunday, I received a telepathic summons from Professor Burke. I arrived at the room where the students in the psionic council met. Burke wasn't alone. Rachel and some of the seniors sat around the table, and to my surprise, Absynthe sat with them. "Mr. Parker. Please have a seat," Burke said.

I sat and waited patiently for someone to speak. Absynthe avoided eye contact with me. Some of the students glanced toward her, but it was obvious no one knew her. Rachel was frowning. Her expression was angry if anything, but I couldn't tell if she was angry at the situation or at me. I shook my head and leaned forward. "Let's get this over with, then?"

Burke nodded. "Due to your irresponsible actions over the summer break, your membership on this committee has been terminated. The senior members voted in favor, four to one."

"Irresponsible?" I asked.

"We received a summary report of your actions in Seattle," Burke said. Gazes flicked toward Absynthe, whose face could have carved from stone. "While occasional meetings with members of other factions are acceptable, you crossed the line by deliberately doing so. Your contact being a Resistance agent compounds the problem."

"Don't argue, just accept," Absynthe said in my mind.

I hid my smile. "I had a chance and I took it. I didn't think it'd cause so much trouble."

"You have a tendency to act impulsively," Burke said. "Which causes trouble to follow you."

Rachel snorted at the same time Absynthe did. Burke glared at both of them. I tried harder to hide my smile. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I don't suppose I can appeal?"

"We will review your termination next trimester," he said. "However, the administration has already discouraged us from allowing your return. A distinct lack of common sense seemed to be the consensus."

"Fair enough," I said, making eye contact with Rachel. She shook her head. I didn't know why she would have voted in my favor, but I appreciated it. "Is there anything else?"

"There is. Everyone except for Miss Anderson, you are dismissed." I waited while the other members of the committee filed out and the door shut behind them. Burke's eyes glowed deep green and I heard the door lock, then a buzzing noise in the back of my mind. After a long moment, he nodded. "Mr. Parker. I will not chastise you further for your actions in Seattle. The consequences for your impulsivity are still being decided, but Absynthe's report showed that your intentions were positive and the results should mitigate any of the most severe penalties."

"I appreciate that," I said. "So why are we still here?"

"We are here to discuss your training," Burke said. "Miss Anderson will join your training from time to time. As your previous partner is no longer available, we are assigning you to work together when the situation arises."

"That's fine," I said. "As long as she can keep up."

"Bite me."

"That is actually pertinent," Burke said. "Your training program will be expanding next year. As a newly registered second tier power and impulsive malcontent, much of the administration's recent discussions have been how to deal with you. As of the winter trimester, your training time will be divided between myself and Absynthe."

"You'll be training me?"

"Yes. I have certain abilities that Absynthe does not."

I sat up straight. "You can teach me about the second tier?"

Rachel's eyes grew wide. Burke nodded. "We shall spend the first trimester studying the second tier and examining where your particular talents lie. Afterwards, we will examine practical uses for your second tier talents, under my supervision. At that point, we will need to reassign you, Miss Anderson."

"I can deal with working with a superman," she said.

"Don't be ridiculous. You will hold him back," Burke said. She frowned, but said nothing. "Absynthe will continue to handle your standard training regimen and will contact each of you as appropriate. Any questions?"

"What about Wainwright?" Rachel asked. "Is she gone for good? She's not going to come back from wherever and demand to be his partner again, right?"

"She has made it clear that she will not work with Mr. Parker again under any circumstances," Burke said.

"Good."

"Anything else?"

I shook my head and stood up. "Sounds good to me."

"Dismissed, then." Burke's eyes stopped glowing and the buzzing faded.

Rachel and I headed for the door and I opened it for her. We walked out of the building side by side without saying anything. When we reached the main campus, she grabbed my arm. "Hey. You ok with being partnered up?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't bother me as much as it might have before."

"Same here." She let go of my arm. "As long as you're cool with it. I didn't ask for this."

"I didn't figure you would."

"Good. I'll catch you later. Going to meet some of my friends." She paused for a moment, glanced over at me, then walked away before I could say anything. I headed back to the dorm by myself and headed up to the room. I'd barely seen Max or Drew yesterday, and neither of them had been in when I got up this morning. I wanted to spend a little time with them and relax before classes started.

They were in the room, but both of them were pulling shoes on when I opened the door. "Kev! What up, dude?" Drew greeted me.

"Not much. Where you guys off to?" I asked.

"Got a date with Lisa," Drew said. "She got a car, dude! Early graduation present from her parents. It's hot shit!"

"It's older than mine," Max said.

"Older, but still nicer."

"Shut up. I didn't ask for that thing." He shuddered. "I don't see why you two don't just come with us if we're all going to the same place. My car can fit all four of us."

"Barely, but totally not the point. Besides, Lisa wants to drive, and what am I going to do, say no?"

"Fair enough." They both stopped and looked at me. "Shit. Sorry, Kev."

I shook my head and slipped between them. "It's fine, guys. I'll just hang out with Andreas or something."

"He's already out somewhere with Kaitlyn," Drew said. "Weird as shit. I thought she'd be taking full advantage of having the room to herself for the trimester. She went to see him as soon as she got here. I tell you what, I've never seen him smile so much. It's scary."

"Maybe she's settling down?"

"Maybe," Max said. "Something feels different about her. I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy."

"Sure are."

"Shut up. Hey, Kev, we should talk with Andreas soon. Right? I figure you've got some stories from your summer trip, right?"

I considered it for a moment. Did I really want to talk to them about my trip? I could remove the memory modifications from Washington and let them know about Star. That would lead to unpleasant questions, though. The best I could do is leave their memory blocks in place and act as if I had met her online or something. I didn't want them to find out about my cheating, and I certainly didn't want Max making the connection to Jess. They already knew too much.

"You there, Kev?" Drew waved his hand at me.

"Sorry, got lost in thought," I said.

"Bet he met a chick," Drew said to Max.

"Here's hoping," Max replied.

"Funny you should say that," I said. "We'll talk about it later. It was a pretty good month."

"Awesome, dude!" Drew's grin was wide and genuine. "We'll have some drinks and chill and talk. Bro night, right?"

"I don't like calling it a bro night," Max said.

"Whatever. We'll catch you later, Kev." They waved and the door shut behind them.

I walked over to my computer and sat down. A wave of sudden jealousy rolled up over me. My friends were growing up in their lives and relationships. I had psionic powers. I lied. I betrayed my girlfriend. I betrayed the group training me. I could die at any moment if Alistair Ripley found out what I had learned. My friends didn't need to worry about any of that shit. At this point, there wasn't any reason to use them against me. Alistair or Burke could just snuff me out like a candle. They'd only go after my friends if they wanted to hurt me, like Shade.

I brought up the PSInet login screen and tapped in my credentials. At least I could do some research while they were gone. Instead of bringing up the search engine, I received an account suspension notice. I read it three times before my blood pressure spiked and I tapped my power, seeking out Absynthe's mind. Before the mental realm even materialized, I was already shouting. "My PSInet account's revoked too? What the fuck?"