The Ex Trials (Falling for Autumn #3) (11 page)

“I’m sorry. We had dinner and took a walk. I was feeling better—” I stumbled over my words. I tried to crane my neck to see Autumn who was still crying, albeit softer. “What happened?”

Delia sank down on the couch next to Autumn. I hadn’t noticed before, but her cheeks were red and her eyes were bloodshot as well. Delia was fair, but now all color seemed leeched from her skin. In a defeated voice, she said, “What happened was my father gave a televised interview tonight.”

“Oh fucking hell,” I said grimly and then pushed Lexi aside with my forearm. I kneeled before Autumn. “I am so sorry. We were trying to keep you from hearing about it.”

“It’s okay. I would have found out anyway,” Autumn said in a small, broken voice. “We were walking around the ship to track you down. We went to the downstairs bar, the sports bar with TVs everywhere. And there he was. Thomas staring out at me from the screen in the far corner.”

“I need to find Levi… I’m sorry, Autumn, but I can’t hear this again. Once was bad enough,” Delia said.

“It’s okay,” Autumn said and watched her go with wide and troubled eyes. She waited to speak again until Delia had grabbed her purse and shut the door behind her. Lexi took Delia’s vacated spot next to Autumn on the sofa.

Autumn was watching the door with a tormented look on her face. I placed my hand on her knee to get her attention. “She’ll be okay.”

Autumn nodded although the grim set of her mouth told me she didn’t quite believe me. “He’s her father. Delia no longer speaks to him, but I imagine this hurts her much worse. For the most part, I can pretend he doesn’t exist. She can’t do the same.”

“You didn’t watch the interview, did you?” I asked, my hands curling into fists at my side. I could kill Thomas for putting the people I cared about through hell time and time again.

“I tried to make her leave,” Lexi added although her eyes told me her efforts were futile.

“I couldn’t walk away,” Autumn admitted softly. “It’s been years, but I was taken back to that moment at school. Before I fought back, I was frozen with fear. Too shocked that I had somehow become a victim. I had trusted him, believed in his essential goodness and then the mask had slid off. And I was staring into the face of pure evil.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here tonight,” I said as tears filled my eyes.

She shook her head at me. “It’s not your fault. If I weren’t such a sadist, I would have spun around and never thought about the interview again. But I had this strange hope that this was Thomas’s way of making amends. After all the lies, he would finally come clean about the assault. It wouldn’t amount for much, but it would at least vindicate Blake to the media.”

“That’s not what happened, is it?”

Autumn released a hysterical giggle. “No. This was about revenge. The interview was his way to ruin the only beautiful thing that came out of all the evil he caused.”

“He doesn’t have the power to do that,” I said fiercely.

Autumn wiped at her eyes. “What was I thinking? How can Blake and I build a life together? Every happy moment will be tainted by Thomas. There is no way love borne out of such hate could survive.”

“Autumn, don’t talk like that. Where is Blake? Did he see the interview too?”

Instead of a response, Autumn broke down crying even harder. I stood up to move closer to her, rubbing small, comforting circles against her back. Lexi said to me, “Blake knows about the interview. Autumn told him she needed some time alone to think.”

My heart broke. Autumn loved Blake and pushing him away was likely her way of protecting him. She’d always put everyone first, even often at her own expense. I knew she’d want Blake with her, but she was terrified that marrying him would ruin him.

“You can’t let Thomas win, Autumn. You deserve your happiness with Blake. You can’t let that monster get into your head and give you doubts about Blake,” I said, trying to sound reasonable.

“Blake’s life is football. And as long as he plays professionally, there will always be scrutiny about his personal life. He’s securing a stable future through his advertisements and sponsorships. It doesn’t exactly help a company’s image to hire someone who is being accused of targeting me as a way to get revenge against his stepfather?”

I drew in a quick breath. “That’s what Thomas said?”

Autumn pinched the bridge of her nose and took short, shallow breaths. “Among other hateful things.”

“He was convicted for the assault, Autumn. No one is going to believe Thomas is innocent,” Lexi said.

“Thomas isn’t guilty in the public’s eye. He’s never been,” Autumn said. I opened up my mouth to protest, but she shook her head at me. “My high school hated me after I testified against him. He was teacher of the year, the coach who transformed our football team into champions. Newpine hated me so much I had to be homeschooled my last year of high school. And now Thomas is the underdog while Blake is the successful, famous stepson. Thomas laid it on thick. How his marriage dissolved after his release from prison and how Blake and now Delia refuse to see him. As much as we like to deny it, most people like to see a hero fall.”

“You need to stop worrying about Blake. He’ll be fine,” I said sternly.

Autumn’s eyes were filled, but she had momentarily stopped crying. “Do you know how humiliated I feel? The interview didn’t show the uncensored photos of me as a teen, but they alluded to them. All it takes is a couple of computer clicks and anyone could see me as a drunk sixteen-year-old flashing my bra and thong at the camera.”

I cringed at the visual and didn’t know how to make her feel better. It wasn’t like I could tell her no one would be able to see the pictures. She had told me before they went viral after the scandal broke of Autumn accusing her teacher of sexual assault.

The idea of people judging Autumn for a few sexy pictures as a teen made me furious. Not only was I offended on her behalf, but it hit too close to home. Like just because I wasn’t the virginal college girl, I deserved to be mistreated by men. More than once, I had encountered infuriated men because I refused their advances. As if my reputation meant I had no standards.

“Screw them. Screw them all," I said hotly. "I know you’re freaking out right now, but this soon will pass. And every person who judges you will go back to their sad, lonely lives while you get to crawl back into bed with an insanely hot quarterback.”

Autumn managed a small, strained smile. “Are you really calling my fiancé insanely hot?”

I smiled back and I saw Lexi’s shoulders lower. I was hopeful we were on our way to calming a pre-wedding freak out. There was no way Autumn could walk away from Blake—her heart would never survive. “Yes, but don’t get jealous. I have my own guy that I think is insanely hot.”

Autumn’s smile grew wider. “I knew it! As soon as Cole offered to stay behind with you, I knew you would be kissing him again.”

“He stopped by to check on me and then one thing led to another—”

Lexi looked doubtful. “Weren’t you throwing up your guts?” She turned her head and looked at the rumpled sheets on my bed. “Christ, Casey, you didn’t have sex with him in here? What if we had walked in?”

“Loosen up, Lexi.” Autumn elbowed her in the ribs. The strain was still in Autumn’s expression, but I could tell she was desperate for a distraction. Her own head was probably an unwelcome place at the moment.

“No, I didn’t have sex with him. I want to take things slow.”

“But I thought you said your relationship fizzled out? Do you feel differently now?” Although I had given Lexi a brief explanation of why Cole and I had broken up, Autumn was still in the dark.

The blood began to rush through my head. I didn’t want to lie to my friends any longer. Autumn was pouring out her heart—telling us all her deepest fears about her future with Blake. Didn’t I owe it to them to be honest about my own fears?

“I do want to talk to you guys about Cole, but now probably isn’t the best time. This is about you,” I said to Autumn.

Her face was still swollen as she tilted her head to watch me closely. “There’s nothing I can do about Thomas. I’ve known this since I first decided I wanted to be with Blake despite his connection to Thomas. But maybe I needed to be reminded that Blake’s worth it. We may not have an easy life, but we’ll have a life full of love.”

Lexi and I wrapped our arms around Autumn for a group hug. I loved my best friends and I had no idea why I’d been so worried about being hated because of my mistakes. They may not approve of what I’d done in Atlantic City, but they’d be there for me no matter what.

“You should go to Blake,” I said once we released her.

“I will,” she said. “But I think he needed some space too. Darien texted me about a half an hour ago to say he was taking Blake to the bar for a few drinks.” When I gave her a doubtful look, she added, “I didn’t do anything stupid like call off the wedding. I just needed to vent. I want to be strong for Blake because every time he sees me break over Thomas, it seems to kill him inside.”

“He has guilt because of who he is. But there’s not changing that he was once Thomas’s stepson. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Thomas might go on TV and spout off his lies, but in the end he’s the one who will be sad and alone. He’s already dead to Blake and Delia will never forgive her father for doing this,” Lexi said.

I nodded as did Autumn. I hoped to all that was holy we were telling Autumn the truth. Because of Cole I believed that love was more powerful than any other force. Jealousy, hate, fear: none of these emotions could undo the love Autumn and Blake had built together.

With a shaky exhale, Autumn looked back and forth between us. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you two. I just needed a reminder that this is another one of Thomas’s desperate attempt to ruin our happiness. Every time I cry about him, I’m giving him power back over my life.”

“You sure you don’t want us to track down Blake?” Lexi asked. “We could text Darien.”

“Not yet. I need a little bit more time to pull myself together,” she said. I felt like a burning hot spotlight was turned on me as Autumn caught my eye. “And I think Casey wants to tell us all about her and Cole.”

“I don’t know,” I said and sighed miserably. “I want it to work out with Cole, but… But there’s things I haven’t told you about us.”

“Like what?” Autumn asked. From her expression, I could tell she wasn’t exactly surprised by the revelation. I’d been a moping mess since I broke up with Cole. If the breakup was mutual, I wouldn’t have been hiding out in my room for the entire spring semester of my senior year. Autumn and Lexi had rarely been able to even coax me out to dinner with the both of them.

“I cheated on Cole,” I said in a rush. I wanted the words out as soon as possible so I wouldn’t have to say them ever again. The shadow had grown longer as I sat on the truth. I needed the release of saying the words aloud. I didn’t dare look at my friends, but instead studied the light blue carpet. “I should’ve told you before. But I was so humiliated. I was ashamed of myself for doing such a horrible thing to Cole. And it didn’t help that the guy I cheated with is a friend of Blake’s. The night we all went to Atlantic City, I slept with Justin Sewall behind Cole’s back.”

Chapter Thirteen

Six Months Earlier…

I should have seen my late arrival to Atlantic City as a sign I wasn’t meant to go. Besides Cole trying to keep me in bed, I found myself floundering in order to meet my friends in time. First, I ran out of gas on the way back to my place and hiked it the couple of miles to the nearest gas station. After finally arriving at my apartment, I scrambled to make up for lost time. In my haste of tossing a few clothes in an overnight bag and running out of the door, I’d forgotten my wallet. After a good ten miles of highway driving, I realized my mistake and turned my car around to retrieve it.

Lexi and Autumn had left the day before and were spending two nights in Atlantic City with Blake and his friends. Neither had classes or work on Fridays, but since I had both, I couldn’t stay as long as my friends. The college’s spring semester had started only last week, in mid-January, and I couldn’t already skip out on my classes. 

Atlantic City was a bit of a hike from Fairfort, but I made good time and got there in less than two hours. Autumn had texted me directions to the bar where I was to meet her. The tentative plan was to bounce around a few local clubs and maybe gamble a little at the casinos. The pro football players got the VIP treatment so they had reserved private seating in all of the local clubs.

I felt like a cliché, but once I pulled into the parking garage of the club I texted Cole a message to let him how I missed him already and then followed up with a winky face. I didn’t wait for his reply since I figured he wouldn’t hear his phone until after Trojan Jedi was done practicing for the night.

Locking up my car, I ran as steadily as I could in three-inch heels across the parking garage. I left my jacket in the car since I figured the club would feel stifling once I was inside. I had done a quick change after Cole’s apartment and wore a mid-thigh black skirt, silver heels and a shimmery tank top. I’d done my makeup in the car and I was sure I’d have raccoon eyes before the night was over.

The club, Night Owl, had opened less than a month ago and by the crowds of people hanging around the front, it was apparently the popular spot to be. After getting carded at the door, I snaked around the crush of bodies to try and locate the VIP area.

I couldn’t take much in of the club’s ambience due to the scores of people on the dance floor. The DJ was blasting house music and the crowd was going wild. Although we were in the middle of winter, I saw a lot of men shirtless and several women in bra tops.

There were a number of podiums in the middle of the dance floor where outrageously costumed women danced. They had rainbow-colored wigs and wore matching leather studded bikinis. I had to give them credit for being able to dance so gracefully in stilettos.

To the rear of the club, I noticed several security guards standing menacingly in front of another bar area that appeared closed-off to the public. I assumed this had to be the VIP spot where my friends could be found. Before I could give my name to the security guard, I felt a hand on the small of my back.

Turning around, I looked up at Justin Sewell, a running back on the Baltimore Warriors. I had met Justin one other time at a charity benefit in Baltimore, but we had only spoken briefly. We had flirted a bit since I was single at the time, but my heart hadn’t been in it. Justin’s flings with fans were notorious and I didn’t want to be another one of his conquests. Blake had become a brotherly presence in my life and I didn’t want him subjugated to any locker room talk about me.

Justin turned a megawatt smile on me and pulled me in unexpectedly for a hug. I patted his arm awkwardly as I smelled the booze permeating out of his pores. I gave a tentative smile in return once he released me. “Hi Justin. What’s going on?”

He didn’t answer at first, but instead laced his fingers behind his neck and looked me over. His green eyes languidly took me in from head to toe. “Nothing much. This club is boring as shit. The bottle service is crap.”

I shook my head at him. “You sound like a snob.”

He laughed loud and suddenly. I had forgotten how massive all of the football players seemed next to us normal humans. “You say exactly what’s on your mind, don’t you? I like that,” he said with a too-wide smile.

I shrugged in response. “Just trying to help you out.” I looked past him and noticed Lexi and Autumn waving in my direction and motioning me to come into the bar area. I jerked my thumb toward them as I said to Justin, “I’ll talk to you in a bit. Going to catch up with my friends.”

He stifled a yawn. “Grab a drink with me later? Save me from the tedium.”

“Sure,” I said and kept from rolling my eyes. Justin was a bit much before I even had a chance to grab a beer. He was striking with his white-blond hair and bright green eyes, but he was overly cocky. I found confidence attractive, but from what I knew of him, he assumed every woman he met wanted to bang him.

After loping away from Justin, I was immediately surrounded by Autumn and Lexi. Autumn handed me a Corona and I took a long pull of the beer. I didn’t feel like I was part of the partying scene anymore so I wouldn’t mind a little buzz to take the edge off. I had no plans to get drunk though since I wanted to get up early and make my way back to Cole’s bed. Not that I would tell my friends that tidbit. I’d given them hell over the years for bailing out to hang out with their boyfriends and I didn’t want to tell them I planned to do the same.

“Hey, yo Case!” Blake bellowed, coming up to me and lifting me up into a bear hug. I squeezed him back and grinned as he let me down.

“Swanky party you have back here, Preston,” I said teasingly. I was joking with him, but honestly I was impressed with the VIP lounge. In the rest of the club, there was barely room to breathe. However, the private room had plenty of space. There were probably fewer than twenty people in the area and they were sprawled out, most of them lounging lazily on the red plush couches outfitting the room. Waitresses in teeny tiny cocktail uniforms were running their tails off in order to get the thirsty football players their drinks as soon as humanly possible. The bass from the club music was muffled, but still loud enough where I felt the need to shout to be heard over the noise.

Blake motioned for us to follow him and we found a semi-quiet corner to sit. I hadn’t seen Blake in months since he wasn’t able to visit Fairfort much during football season. The Warriors were eliminated during the Wild Card playoff round a couple of weeks earlier and Blake wouldn’t have to get back to training until the summer. Although Autumn wanted Blake’s team to win the Super Bowl, she couldn’t help but be happy when his season ended. Football season to Autumn meant she seldom got to see her fiancé.

After an hour of watching Blake and Autumn discreetly play footsie, I decided to give the two of them some alone time together. I addressed Lexi, “Hey Lex, want to go dance for a bit?”

“Yes! Just give me ten minutes to meet up with Finn. He texted me that he’s five minutes away and I told him I’d meet him at the entrance.”

I gave a distracted nod as she rose from the chair. Once again, I wished Cole had been able to come, but his work and band commitments made the trip impossible. I was beginning to fall completely and irrevocably in love with the bassist. Although I’d been hesitant to admit how strong my feelings were for Cole, I couldn’t keep denying what was right in front of me. I had been shocked over the past few weeks to discover that he was totally different than I anticipated. I guessed we would have phenomenal sexual chemistry, but I’d been blown away at just how incredible he made me feel. Not only on a physical level, but on an emotional one. Like I was worth so much more than I thought.

I told Autumn and Blake I was going out to the dance floor and I’d catch up with them later. Autumn offered to join me, but I waved her off. I was a good enough friend to know she needed to make up for lost time with Blake.

I’d only had a couple of beers, but I was feeling more relaxed than I had when first arriving. After passing by the security guards, I headed to the more crowded bar in the downstairs area. I knew Blake had a tab going, but I didn’t want to be seen as another celebrity hanger-on. I was perfectly capable of paying for my own drink. My mother’s gold-digger lifestyle always made me self-conscious about not paying my own way.

As I pushed through to an open spot at the bar, I felt a hand on my elbow. After seeing it was Justin beside me, he leaned in close to be heard over the loud music. “How about that drink?”

I hesitated, but I figured why not? I probably had at least twenty minutes until Lexi would be ready to hit the dance floor. I had though about dancing by myself, but Lexi and I were like a synchronized swim team when we went out together. We knew how to artfully warn each other when a guy was approaching from behind us with the intention to grind against our asses. Whoever convinced men that move was sexy should be shot dead. I never actually witnessed a girl turned on by some tool with a hard-on thrusting against her ass why she was trying to dance with her friends.

Despite my protests, Justin bought our drinks. After picking them off of the bar, he gestured for me to follow him. We bypassed the dance floor and he led me up a small staircase. At the top, there were large glass patio doors opening up to an outdoor deck. The outside area was mostly empty, likely because of the freezing cold weather, but several patio heaters the club had installed around the seats chased off the chill.

The deck overlooked the ocean and my breath hitched at the view. There was something so romantic about seeing the beach empty and quiet at night. As I looked sideways at Justin, I just wished I were here with Cole instead.

We went to a bistro table that was free next to the overhang. I glanced down as we took our seats, watching a few stumbling drunks make their way down the boardwalk. I could keep myself entertained for hours by people watching. Working at a bar had taught me how to hold my liquor. I’d seen enough sloppy drunks to know I didn’t want to share the same fate.

Justin handed me my drink: a rum and Diet and I lifted the glass up in salute. He clinked his glass to mine and we both took a generous sip. During the silence, I took a second to inventory the Warriors running back. From a purely scientific perspective, I could admit he was attractive although I didn’t feel any fluttering in my belly when I saw him. There was something cold about his beauty: the overly-styled white hair, the calculating green eyes, the sarcastic smile. His body was fit: large muscled arms, lean legs, chiseled torso. His looks were almost too perfect. I wouldn’t have been surprised to discover Justin was some sort of android experiment.

“So, I didn’t see you at any of our games this year,” he started.

“I went to a couple during my college’s winter break, but between work and my classes, I can’t get down to Baltimore as often as I like,” I said.

He played with the collar of his red polo shirt. I watched him unbutton the top button before leaning back in his chair. His eyes ran up and down my body once again before resting on my face. Something about his heated gaze made my skirt feel too short and my top too tight. I felt my face flush and I wondered if it had been a bad idea to grab a drink with Justin. My intention was to be friendly, but I didn’t want him to take my niceness as interest. He didn’t make my heart feel like it would never beat the same again. He didn’t make me feel like being together was vital to my survival.

“I plan to go next season since my boyfriend is a huge Warriors fan,” I said abruptly. Saying Cole was a Warriors fan was a bit of an exaggeration. Although Cole liked the team because of Blake, he only followed professional soccer. He was more likely to be seen wearing an Italia soccer jersey than any Warriors gear. Not very subtlety, I was letting Justin know he didn’t have a chance in hell of getting into my pants.

“I didn’t know you were with anyone,” Justin said.

I nodded. “It’s new, but good… Really good,” I said, trying to drive home my point.

“So, you’re serious about this guy? Not seeing anyone else.”

I faltered for a second because Cole and I hadn’t actually talked about being exclusive. But I didn’t feel I’d be presumptuous to assume I was the one for him. His words, his actions told me that we were only whole when together. Not to mention, we were together enough that it would be physically impossible for him to have any side action going on. Dating a super hot guy in a band definitely brought out a jealous side of my personality. I had wanted to claw some eyes out after seeing just how many girls were willing to throw themselves at Cole. “There’s only him,” I said simply to Justin.

Justin made a scoffing sound in the back of his throat. “Kanye West has said, ‘Love is cursed by monogamy.’”

Christ, what a tool, I thought. Why was I hanging out with a guy who quoted Kanye West? “I’m getting cold. I think I’ll head back inside.”

He put his glass down in front of him and held up his palms in surrender. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I only thought you were like me.”

“Like you?”

“I don’t know,” he said, chewing on his lower lip. “A free spirit type.”

I felt wobbly all of a sudden at his suggestion and settled my hands on the table to steady myself. My tone came out harsh and cold. “Is that a polite way to say you thought I was a slut?”

Justin shook his head empathetically. “Not at all. I fuck who I want to and no one calls me a slut. Deep down I’m a feminist so the s-word actually offends me.”