The F-Word (53 page)

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Authors: Jesse Sheidlower

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mind-fucking
adjective

baffling or astounding; (
also
) that psychologically manipulates.

1971
S. B. Kopp
Guru
145: Away from intellectual “mind-fucking” words.
1977
R. A. Wilson
Cosmic Trigger
93: “They” turned some kind of “mindfucking” machine on the two men.
1986
Atlanta, Ga., man, age
ca
30: [Hands Across America] was mindfucking, man! Such a great thing!
1990
S. Frith & A. Goodwin
On Record
233: You think of those weird ways of ending one song and having some kind of transitional riff
to get into the next one. That’s really the most fun—especially when you can pull off some mind-fucking key change.
1996
E. Leonard
Out of Sight
51: In an altogether different kind of mind-fucking incarceration.
2004
J. D. Vinge
Dreamfall
(revised edition) 399: Get off him, you mindfucking bitch!

mo dicker
noun

(a partial euphemism for)
MOTHERFUCKER
.

1968–70
Current Slang Cumulation
III & IV 84:
Mo dicker,
n. A lazy, irresponsible person.—New Mexico State.
1989
D. Sherman
There I Was
129: It started raining like a mo-dicker.… I…said “mo-dicker”… ’cause your momma don’t like me saying “motherfucker,” but it’s really the same word.

mofo
noun

(a partial euphemism for)
MOTHERFUCKER
.
Jocular
.

1965
in H.S. Thompson
Hell’s Angels
33: The “Mofo” club from San Francisco.
1966
F. Reynolds & M. McClure
Freewheelin Frank
116: The Mofos (a motorcycle club that isn’t in existence now).
1972
R. Wilson
Playboy’s Book of Forbidden Words
171:
Mother-jumper, mother-ferrier, mo’-fo’, mammy-jammer,…futher-mucker
.
1973
Oui
(Mar.) 69: And now you, too (you jive mofo) can control the minds of women!
1977
U.S. college student: I’m sincerely beginning to believe that mofo is a goddamn female impersonator.
1979
L. Blum, D. Goldberg, J. Allen & H. Ramis
Meatballs
(film): I will twist that mofo.
1982
W. L. Heat Moon
Blue Highways
124: He’s one useless black mofo.
1983
Leeson
Survivors
(film): Hey, you honky mofo, get the lead out of your ass!
Ibid.
: Your gun jammed, Mr. Honky Mofo?
1987
National Lampoon
(June) 79: It hurt like a mofo.
1989
W.E. Merritt
Rivers Ran Backward
20: Get your white ass in the truck, mofo.
1995
Guardian
(May 13) (Guide) 18/1: Although Ike Turner may be a former coke-headed, woman-beating ex-con mofo, he’s also one of the most important unsung figures of American music.
1999
Y. M. Murray
What it Takes to Get to Vegas
xi. 186: He’d found part-time work at a Taco Bell downtown, but his full-time job was being a radical mofo with a mission.
2005
SL
(Cape Town, South Africa) (Feb.) 8/3: Keane better than Coldplay? You must be kidding.… I hope the Chris Martin mafia comes to take you mofos down!
2006
Navy Times
(Aug. 28) 33: Much of
the credit, of course, goes to Jackson, Mr. Mofo himself, proving anew that he’s one of the baddest movie men on the planet.

mofo
adjective & adverb

=
MOTHERFUCKING
.
Jocular
.

1973
O. Z. Acosta
Revolt of Cockroach People
(1989) ii. 28: What about all those books that got me through the long Mofo nights?
1989
W.E. Merritt
Rivers Ran Backward
20: You mofo lucky they sent me along.
1996
Observer
(Dec. 29) 31/2: Peter…has been trying to pretend he’s terribly bothered about all this press attention re. personal chauffeur-driven limo from Palumbo. It’s actually rather hideous—every time it draws up I expect to see Huggy Bear slink out in purple pimp-suit and mo’fo’ fedora.
2007
“Zane”
Dear G-Spot
135: She was laying there, stiff as a mofo board, while I drilled this big pipe in and out that poontang.

mofuck
noun

=
MOTHERFUCKER; MOTHERFUCKING
.

1962
H. Simmons
On Eggshells
143: Get out the way, moa-fugg.
1978
T. C. Fox
Cops
47: If the
Killer
is played by a black actor, the following changes should be made in the dialogue… pg. 30—
Killer
I don’t give a fuck, mo’fuck.
1982
J. M. Del Vecchio
13th Valley
477: This mofuck division fucked up.
1983
R.C. Mason
Chickenhawk
105 [refers to 1965]: [The mongoose] was young and tame, and he named it Mo’fuck.
1985
G. Bear
Dead Run
in
Collected Stories of Greg Bear
(2002) 333: “You can take us back, mister! You really can!” “Can he?” “Shit no, mofuck pig.”
1990
J. Levy
Squeeze Play
287: There were street punks in ripped-off Nikes screaming “Mo’fuck” in my ear.

Mongolian cluster fuck
noun

see under
CLUSTERFUCK
noun
.

monkey
noun

In phrases:

a monkey fucking a football
and variants, a ridiculous or clumsy figure.

1968
P. Tauber
Sunshine Soldiers
117: You know what you look like, Pea-zer, stupid? You look like a monkey trying to fuck a football.
1977
in S. Lyle & P. Golenbock
Bronx Zoo
17: Jesus Christ! You looked like a monkey trying to fuck a football out there!
1981
W. T. Hathaway
World of Hurt
47: You look like a monkey fucking a football.
1984
K. Weaver
Texas Crude
34: That guy tryin’ to change a tire looks like a monkey tryin’ to fuck a football.
1988
D. Poyer
The Med
422: You people cry like fifteen monkeys fuckin’ a football.
2005
E. Puchner
Music through the Floor
74: Watching you work is like watching a monkey fuck a football.

monkey’s fuck
,
British
. the least bit, a damn;
FUCK
noun
, definition 2.a. Also in euphemized variants.

[
1893
R. G. Hampton
Major in Washington
97: A poker I.O.U. that wasn’t worth a monkey’s snicker.] [
1942
P. Larkin
Letter
(Mar. 20) in
Selected Letters
(1992) 32: I rather liked the way the words “monkey’s fuck” and “bugger” shone like sign posts in the strange country of this drunken Scotch.]
1960
G. W. Target
Teachers
100: The Old Man’s door opened and the pair of them came out, Stillwell not seeming to give a monkey’s, but too casual, and poor Jimmy Taylor with his hands clenched before him.
1961
E. Partridge
Dictionary of Slang & Unconventional English
(ed. 5) Suppl. 1188/1:
Monkey’s f*ck, not to care a
, not to care a rap; low (esp. Naval).
1968
M. Woodhouse
Rock Baby
xii. 116: I don’t give a monkey’s knee if he was with the Resistance or the Mafia.
1970
Observer
(May 10) 33/5: Tony Martin has booked himself a vasectomy… “I was brought up a Catholic…but I don’t give a monkey’s; you’ve got to be practical.”
1975
J. Wainwright
Square Dance
26: “Not,” snarled Sugden, “that I give a solitary monkey’s toss what you wear.”
1990
Lancet
(June 2) 1313/2: In the words of one member of the underclass, [the government] “doesn’t give a monkey’s.”
2006
S. Hill
Risk of Darkness
161: “I don’t give a monkey’s fuck,” Nathan said viciously, “about Frankie Nixon.”

mother
noun

(a partial euphemism for)
MOTHERFUCKER
(in any sense).

1935
in P. Oliver
Blues Tradition
232: Dirty Mother For You.
1936
in M. Leadbitter & N. Slaven
Blues Records
297: She’s A Mellow Mother For You.
1944
in C. Himes
Black on Black
209: That old mother, cotton, is gonna kill me yet.
1958
E. Gilbert
Vice Trap
110: Jive and lush don’t use together, you mother.
1960
in T.C. Bambara
Gorilla
49:
Now this jive mother who is my boss thinks he can make some bread by recording some of the old-timers.
1961
J. Brosnan
Pennant Race
74: Malone pulls that ball on a line and Willie is a dead mother.
1961
G. Forbes
Goodbye to Some
82 [refers to WWII]: That mother Stevens dropped a crab in the beer.
1961
H. Ellison
Gentleman Junkie
144: He just grabbed that muthuh by the neck and…beat the crap outta him.
1962
K. Kesey
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
175: Drive, you puny mothers,
drive!
…Practice, you mothers, get that ball and let’s get a little sweat rollin’!
1961–64
D. Barthelme
Come Back, Dr. Caligari
142: You brought the darkness, you black mother.
1964
R. Newhafer
Last Tallyho
182: If ever…I get out of this mother of a thunderstorm.
Ibid.
302: There’s nothing wrong with these mothers at all.
1965
J. L. Herlihy
Midnight Cowboy
101: It’s a powerful mothah, ain’t it?
1967
G. Moorse
Duck May be Somebody’s Mother
139: Jeez, Doc,…you’re about the smartest muther in the whole world.
1971
J. P. Sloan
War Games
125: There sits a man who is going to go home and tell his wife a mother of a story.
1972
D. Jenkins
Semi-Tough
188: Some wives is gonna read that mother you writin’, you dig what I’m sayin’?
1972
C. Gaines
Stay Hungry
34: He had worked [his calves] so hard he thought they would pop off, but the mothers wouldn’t grow.
1973
W. Karlin et al.
Free Fire Zone
164: I can take work!…I can work like a mother!
1976
C. R. Anderson
Grunts
47 [refers to 1969]: You mean it’s that hill over there, the bald mother?
1978
H. Selby
Requiem for a Dream
247: Yeah, he be a cool mutha jim.
1984
G. Holland
Let a Soldier Die
156: Deal those mothers!
1985
D. Killerman
Hellrider
9: You muvva.
1986
B. Breathed
Bloom County
(syndicated comic strip) (Dec. 3): Just wing that mother.
1987
N.Y. Daily News
(July 2) M3: Here comes that evil mother; we can’t win now.
1988
Living Dangerously
(A&E-TV): The river is one tough mother [to cross].
1992
New York Magazine
(Mar. 30) 61: He has never tried a case before, but he’s a tough little mother.
1999
M. Foley
Have Nice Day
v. 73: I climbed into the front seat [of the car] and attempted to fire the mother up. Needless to say, the mother didn’t fire. Neither did it flicker or even spark. It was one dead mother.
2007
On Board
(Jan.) 48/2: This year’s goggles come in a variety of different colours: check these gold mothers.

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