The F-Word (49 page)

goat fuck
noun

Especially
Military.
a fiasco; mess;
CLUSTERFUCK
. Also (
euphemistically
)
goat dance, goat screw, goat rope.

1965
H. S. Thompson
Letter
(Jan. 29) in
Proud Highway
(1997) 481: Kentucky was a Wolfean nightmare and New York was a goatdance.
1971
T. Mayer
Weary Falcon
15: “What a goatfuck,” I said.
1981
F. Knebel
Crossing in Berlin
89: We got a real goat fuck going here today, Mr. Simmons.
1990
E. Ruggero
38 North Yankee
80: There seemed to be some order creeping into Barrow’s “goat screw.”
1991
R. Marcinko & J. Weisman
Rogue Warrior
199: It had been one humongous goatfuck.
a
1991
W. Kross
Splash One
34 [refers to Vietnam War]: What’s a guy like you doing in a goat rope like this?
1995
Guardian
(London) (Sept. 2) 1: Britain now has what the Americans call “goat-fucks,” those swaying edifices of cameramen, snappers, sound recorders and hacks which lurch perilously round press conferences.
2004
G. Crile
Charlie Wilson’s War
384: Even in the heyday of Eisenhower and John Foster Dulles, when the Cold War was one big fucking goatfuck, no one was publicly calling for more money for the CIA to use in Guatemala or Cuba or anywhere.
2005
S. Brockmann
Hot Target
219: What I can’t figure out—and maybe you could help me with this—is the difference between a goatfuck and a clusterfuck.

goat-fucking
noun

In phrase:

been to three county fairs and a goat-fucking
[or (
euphemistically
)
goat-roping
]
Southern
. seen many astounding sights.
Jocular
.

1974
U.S. college student: I been to three county fairs and a goat-fuckin’ and I ain’t never seen the like of
that
.
1981
B. Bowman
If I Tell You
98: “I’ve been to three county fairs, two goat-ropings and a “‘tater digging.”
I know what’s going on; I’ve been around.
1984
K. Weaver
Texas Crude
30: I’ve seen a goat-roping, a fat stock show and a duck fart under water, but if that don’t beat any damn thing I’ve
ever
seen, I’ll put in with you!!
1988
D. Dye
Outrage
16: Colonel, you and me been to three county fairs and a goat-fuckin’ contest and I ain’t seen you hit by nothin’ heavier than shrapnel.

goat-fucking
adjective

=
MOTHERFUCKING
.

1960
H. S. Thompson
Letter
(Mar. 22) in
Proud Highway
(1997) 209: I would give at least one ball for one (or three) of your sandwiches right at this goat-fucking instant.
1989
S. Hunter
Day before Midnight
404: Drown your sorrows in vodka as better men before you have, you goat-fucking son of a bitch.
2004
D. Sosnowski
Vamped
302: He’s a dickless, ball-less, gutless, spineless, goat-fucking pederast from the bad part of hell.
2007
A. Franklin
Mistress of the Art of Death
313: A jellybag, she called him, a snot-faced, arse-licking, goat-fucking, bum-bellied, farting, turd-breathed apology.

green motherfucker
noun

Army & U.S. Marine Corps.
the U.S. Army or U.S. Marine Corps.—usually used with
this
. Also variants. [Quotations refer to Vietnam War. The 1968 quotation is a euphemism.]

1968
Stuart
Typescript
(unpaged): I’ll be out of this “green thing” in another year.
1973
W. Karlin et al.
Free Fire Zone
137: Plan on getting out of this green amphibious motherfucker.
1976
C.R. Anderson
Grunts
146: How did you ever get in this green mother anyway?
1978
J. Webb
Fields of Fire
210: The Corps…I
love
this green motherfucker.
1982
R.A. Anderson
Cooks & Bakers
116: They talked about how much they hated Vietnam and the Marine Corps—the “Crotch,” the “Green Motherfucker.”
1983
W. D. Ehrhart
Vietnam to Perkasie
54: The Army buys…jeeps that work. But the Green Mother spend money for good equipment?
1985
D. Dye
Run Between the Raindrops
144: Could have gotten
out
of this green motherfucker and been set, man.
1999
T. Jones
Sonny Liston was a Friend of Mine
63: I’m in the Green Motherfucker already. I guess that makes me a citizen.

GRF
noun

see under
RATFUCK
,
noun
, definition 2a.

guaranfuckingtee
verb

to guarantee absolutely. Compare -
FUCKING
-,
infix
.

1948
W. Manone & P. Vandervoort
Trumpet on the Wing
180: I guaran-(fussin’)-tee you, when we got the place fixed up it was real pretty.
1961
J. Jones
Thin Red Line
42 [refers to WWII]: I guaran-fucking-tee you!
1974
P. Roth
My Life as a Man
19: I guaranfuckintee you gentlemen, not one swingin’ dick will be leavin’ this fiddlefuckin’ area to so much as chew on a nanny goat’s tittie.
1976
W. Goldman
Magic
102: I’ll guaranfuckingtee ya I’m an expert.
1986
J. C. Stinson & J. Carabatsos
Heartbreak Ridge
14: I’ll guaranfuckintee you.
1988
New Yorker
(Dec. 5) 61: They say they never do it, but I guaranfuckintee you someone fooled with the ball this year.
1993
J. Mowry
Six out Seven
i. x. 151: Cause there gonna be a popquiz, man. I
guaran-fuckin-tee
y’all that right now, this minute, there least
one
little sucka…bleedin his little ass off in the sun!
2000
G. V. Higgins
At End of Day
29: If that’s where they’re comin’ from, Nova Scotia’s where the crew’s gonna end up—guaranfuckintee it.
2004
C. Rammelkamp
Secretkeepers
76: They are
not
, I repeat
not
Mafia. I guaran-fuckin-
tee
you they are not Mafia.
2008
A. Davies
Mine All Mine
99: It’s not a probability. It’s not a fucking Miss-Cleo-says-the-future-is-cloudy-so-who-knows-what-will-happen. It’s for real. It is going to happen. It’s guaranfuckingteed.

ham and motherfuckers (or mothers)

see under
MOTHERFUCKER
.

handfuck
noun

an act of masturbation performed (esp. on another person) with the fingers or hands. Also
hand frig
.

1879
Harlequin Prince Cherrytop
4: Hand frig, stand frig,/That’s the sport for him.
1979
D. Bryan
Hard Hat Fucker
111: Beaten into submission by the sheer, vicious force of his hand fuck. He knew the young man could not take much of of [
sic
] this pounding.
1996
L. McK. Bienen in
Ploughshares
(Sept. 1): You want hand fuck…How much you give me?
2003
V. Redel
Swoon
8: Standing in a dark corner of our home/leaning into your hand fuck/while in their room the children toss in sleep.

handfuck
verb

to masturbate (another person or oneself) with the fingers or hands. Also (as in 1989 quotation) figurative.

1975
W. B. Huie
In the Hours of Night
189: The boy would put on a rubber and his girl would hand-fuck him while he clutched her with one arm, kissed her and finger-fucked her with his other hand.
1982
N. Friday
Men in Love
361: He watched as I slowly hand fucked myself and shot my come at least five feet in the air.
a
1989
C. S. Crawford
Four Deuces
48 [refers to Korean War]: To find the break they wrap their hands around the telephone line…and let it run between their fists. That’s what they call
“hand-fucking” the line.… They were out hand-fuckin’ a line lookin’ for a break in it.
1992
A. McGahan
Praise
44: I set to with three fingers and finally she came.… “Hand fucking is wonderful.”
2006
J. Ross in
Bad Boys Southern Style
60: The top of her dress was down around her waist, and somehow her skirt had ended up there, as well, as he’d hand-fucked her.

hate-fuck
noun

an esp. aggressive act of intercourse motivated by animosity towards one’s partner.

1968
Paul Newman in
Playboy
(July) 69: There was the hate fuck, the prestige fuck—and the medicinal fuck, which is, “Feel better now, sweetie?”
a
1976
Jack Nicholson in A. W. Read
An Obscenity Symbol After Four Decades
3: People that I don’t like are not sexually attractive to me at all. I remember in my early 20s I had a few hate-fucks and they were groovy. But not now.
1977
“Iceberg Slim”
Long White Con
18: He was palpitating to despoil her, hurt her, violate her with a hate fuck.
1987
“Pussy Galore”
Groovy Hate Fuck
[rock album title].
1995
R. Athey in
Village Voice
(N.Y.C.) (Feb. 14) 32: When he comes home fucked up, I’m sure to give him a good hate fuck.
1997
D. DeLillo
Underworld
293: If you fuck me, it’ll be a hate fuck. This what you want? This what you mean by aggressive?
2003
N. Kelman
Girls
118: You had been attracted to her all those years before but had never wanted to admit it could be anything more than a “hate fuck.”

hate-fuck
verb

to engage in a
HATE-FUCK
with.

1966
R. Gover
Poorboy at the Party
xvi. 195: Was into it enough now to be itching for a bitch I could hatefuck, not looking for a girl who was happy and full of joy.
1975
R. Rapoport
Super-Doctors
87: “I know if you really try, you can stop hate fucking and learn to start really loving your wife.” The hate-fucker nods.
1999
R. Kean
Pledge
208: “He’s in a tough spot—us on one side, his girlfriend on the other.” “
Shawn
. That girl needs to be hate-fucked.”
2008
Californication
(Showtime TV) (Oct. 26): “Something about that woman. I want to fuck her, but I kinda want to punch her in the face too, it’s weird.” “Ah, you want to hate-fuck her.”

headfuck
noun

1
. an act of fellatio. Also: a person who performs fellatio. Cf.
MOUTH FUCK, SKULLFUCK
.

1974
“T. Andrews”
Story of Harold
208: “Marcius give me a headfuck.” “A what?” “A headfuck. A blow job.”
1999
K. Cairns
Surviving Paedophilia
30: Give us a head-fuck, girl. Give us your mouth.
2004
Gay Times
(Feb.) 237/2: A truly great storyteller and a brilliant head-fuck.

2
. Chiefly
British
. a state of confusion.

1983
R. Price
Breaks
236: I got a panicky feeling that every second that passed in conversation was just increasing the headfuck.
1997
Dazed & Confused
(June) 22/1: I wrote it while I was having a bit of a head-fuck. It’s about being in an oppressive, testing situation—be it mental or physical—and at that moment when you fly out of it and feel like you’re coming alive again.
2003
D. Adebayo
Westside Storeys
154: When you finally exhale, the violent headfuck you were expecting fails to materialize. You feel a pleasant, manageable rush.