The Fell Good Flue (21 page)

As we got airborne Brandy said, “I like shopping there, we come home with the best cargo.” On the way I dropped of the dear hide, and we landed on the top of a roof. After a tie down of our wings, we went down to the Dan’s tanning floor.
As we walked up to him I said, “cargo and word,” then set the bag down.
Dan said, “cargo accepted, load lightened, lighten it more with the word if it be not the bird.” I said, “the bird fly’s in the wind, and so did we, our wings are on the roof.”
Dan, “even more of a reason to drop load, I take it this is the dear hide?”
I said, “yes, just salted, I’ll have it hair on.”
He said, “same as the bear, it will be ready soon, this high pressure equipment High Harry made works great. But it’s the chemicals you need to get right in the first place, and I have been lucky to get what’s needed, if it’s not done right rot can set in before you notice it.” I said, “you do good work, even the rats don’t want to eat it when you’re done with it.” Dan, “they sure stay away from this place, and so do most. How are you today Brandy?” Brandy, “I’m well thank you, we have just been shopping, no dogs at the mall or museum.” He said, “that’s good to hear. Did you fine what you needed?”
Brandy, “yes, just diapers for Sage and underwear for me, I keep losing mine. I also got this new necklace for the pendant TT gave me.”
Dan, “that’s a nice one, I like the color. And with those silver bracelets you look like a warrior princess from a super hero movie, all that’s needed is a leather skirt.”
Brandy, “I have one of those, and a nice sword as well.”
Dan, “that’s a nice 9mm on your side.”
She said, “thank you, my husband has two just like it.”
Dan, “as well as many others, I can see. I travel light myself, just this 357magnum, but don’t shoot much anymore.”
I said, “ammo can be hard to come by at times, I hope not to run out of it for my new rifle.” Dan, “is that the one that brought down the dear?”
I said, “yes, from the roof of a building near the creek.”
Dan, “I was told it was a good shot, must be a nice scope as well.”
I said, “yes, I can see half way across town with that one, and now I have a night-scope as well.” Dan, “then don’t be checking up on me through that thing without taking it off the rifle first, the last thing I need is another hole around here, especially in me.”
I said, “like I said, ammo is not always easy to come by, so I make every shot count.” Dan, “another reason no one messes with you, which makes it safer to send a thing with you, and bring good trade. The meat from the bear traded well and gives you good credit, but the way you bring in food that’s never what you need, the hides I do free for you.” I said, “thank you, this is how we work together to meet each other’s needs. Did you do the bear head for TT?”
Dan, “just the hide, another did the rest, and I hear TT made a cast of the real teeth before you got them and caved a set from clay. Sometimes his talents amaze me, I hear they look like the real thing.”
I said, “Brandy and I were having a talk about reality just this morning, one of us may have decided it was best not to visit it too often.”
Dan, “I hear you, and with these fumes I don’t muchanymore. But you do what you know, and help when you can, because just getting by is not enough anymore.”
Brandy, “that’s right, sometimes you need to enjoy the finer things life has to offer, as well as trading fair. But you don’t seem too far gone, High Harry has you beat by a mile, and that’s strait up. Your fumes are nothing compared to what he makes, and his mushrooms will get you there even quicker.”
Dan, “and still he made the fuel for the flyers, and keeps those two beautiful assistances of his. I’m never quite sure where his head is from time to time, but I often want to be in his shoes.” I said, “he was not wearing any when last I saw him, but he did have a smile on his face, then launched me into the air with a power sled.”
Dan, “he sure comes up with some interesting things, but sometimes they get away from him. I heard he rigged a solar powered vehicle the other day, and it took off, last seen at the edge of town.”
I said, “so that’s where that came from, I saw that in my scope, others have been watching it as well.”
Dan, “yes, he needs to get it back before the sun goes down again, or put a battery in it.” I said, “but then it would just keep going, and so must we. It’s been nice to see you again, and I’ll check with you later.”
Dan, “leaving so soon? I know, it’s the fumes, they drive everyone out, sometimes even me.” I said, “that’s why I don’t do it myself, I don’t like keeping harsh chemicals around the home, unless they come from mother nature.”
Dan, “then safe journey, and thanks for the cargo and word.”
We then went up to the flyers and took off, a strait flight home, didn’t even need the engines because the compressed air tanks were full. They ran the fans to give us enough lift to reach the wind, then we just glided across the sky to land on our roof. We tied them down, then went to our apartment to unload our cargo. Brandy put the diapers and underwear away, and set my new pipes on my stand, then looked through some of the other things I got. There were a set of megaphones and hand held CD player, as well as MP3 &4 players, if the original batteries were good they could be recharged. I could of picked up a new watch while I was there, but I was trying to make a statement by not wearing one, and a lot of people were joining me. I looked over my new pipes and chose one, then stuffed it with the good hash, thinking the king would of wanted it that way. Then I fired that gem encrusted gold pipe up, and sat back in my leather chair evaluating how smooth it was. It had a catch for a chain, and I found a nice one for, then hung the pipe from my neck while toking on it. I thought that this king sure knew what he was doing to have a chain for this, you don’t want to get stoned and lose something like a gem encrusted gold pipe, now do you? Of course he lost it long ago, and so did many others, now it was mine.
Brandy came back in and said, “how does that new pipe smoke?”
I said, “as cool as gold, which by the way gets hot fast, but this one has a sea-foam lining and the gems keep your fingers cool.”
She said, “that is a cool dragon pipe?”
I said, “yes, its tail is the tip, and mouth the fire. I even like the cap flip to keep it dry in wet weather, he must of commissioned the best artist in the land to make this.”
Brandy, “well then maybe you’ll clean it instead of just throwing it away, like so many others.” I said, “yes, I think I’ll hold on to this one forawhile.”
She pulled out the new pan brought home and said, “time to put this one to work, what would you like?”
I said, “how about a fish sandwich?”
Brandy, “that sounds good, I’ll have one as well,” and she went up to get the fish. I said, “would you like me to catch them blindfolded?”
She said, “that’s okay, I rather choose them myself, I’ll hand fish.”
I said, “well then at least they will stand a good chance.”
Brandy, “that’s right dear, I’m leaving the fast one’s for you.”
I said, “thank you, they will also be the biggest because they were the fastest to the food.” She said, “the fastest one to come to a worm in my hand will be the first caught,” and up she went with a bucket.
I put a CD in of “
baby baby don’t get hooked on me
,” and turned it up! By the end of it she was back with the fish.
I said, “that was quick, are your hands wet or did you use a net?”
Brandy came over with the fish and held one in my face with her wet hand and said, “ask the fish.”
I said, “see what you get for being first and greedy,” and blew some smoke in his face. It moved its silent lips and thrashed its tail, then she put it back in the bucket as I said, “see that his suffering is over soon, don’t make it wait until the pan is hot.”
Brandy, “he’s not suffering anymore, that smoke put him right out, do the other one now.” I said okay so she picked it up, and I took a drag then blew it in his face, and she made it kiss me. I spit back and said, “that one’s had enough.”
She laughed and took them to the kitchen. A chop then filet, and hot butter later, they were fish sandwiches. Brandy said, “you can’t get a fresher sandwich without eating them raw.” I said, “their best with rice that way, but I haven’t seen any in a long time.”
Brandy, “it’s just not a rooftop garden kind of plant.”
I said, “yes, well some said the same about corn, and now we have fields of it.” She said, “we need fields of wheat, but the oats are doing good.”
I said, “it’s hard to put enough away for the winter when you do it by hand, and the roofs are no place for large machinery. The fields we can protect will have to do for now, but the new horses will be a great help, some equipment can be pulled.”
Brandy, “keeping the wild life out is hard enough, but if a crop is lost to a raider all that work just went against you. Being ready to fight a ground war over a few bags of wheat is as crazy as the world we live in. However if luck held out and we could bring in a good crop, the winter would be more secure for most.”
I said, “we would have to guard it like a field of pot, so we plant that around the outside.” Brandy, “what if they cross pollinate and we get weed wheat?”
I said, “then the demand for bread will go way up.”
She said, “yes, for those that want the sandwich that makes you hungry for another one.” I said, “this one has not hit bottom yet and I already want another one, but it took the edge off.”
Brandy, “fish is light, not a lot of fat to weigh you down, but it’s good for you.” I said, “and these were raised well, good clean water and food all their lives. Fish farming was an idea that worked for some, I’m glad we have these to chose from.”
She said, “you mean you don’t think you rather be out fishing?”
I said, “at one time going fishing was just another way of saying I’d rather be doing nothing at all, now it’s a risk your life to get something to save it endeavor, there’s nothing that involves food that’s not hard work anymore.”
Brandy, “that includes the planning, a lot of it took place to bring this fast-food to you today.” I said, “ha, what do you call rabbit fur in a bears teeth?”
She said, “fast food that wasn’t fast enough, ha ha.”
I said, “very good, now here’s another. What’s finger licking good and smells like fish?” Brand, “fast food that wasn’t fast enough!”
A said, “you got that right, sometimes it pays to be patient, the first one to a meal does not always get the most.”
She said, “these two spit out theirs to feed the slower ones, and their guts will do the same.” I said, “that has also been said of many a man, but not all of them were eaten. It’s like we’re living in the old wild west, but with more guns and bombs. That’s why I prefer to work in the shadows and plan my moves, there is only so much you can do with your hands, but the mind can work on anything endlessly.”
Brandy, “yes, and I love the way your mind works, that’s why I chose you.”
I said, “and I never get bored with the things your mind comes up with either, but they do put me to the test now and then, just keeping up or thinking my way out.”
She said, “well I’m glad you didn’t think your way out of the shopping trip this morning, we got some nice things, and a few we needed.”
I said, “yes, and maybe next time we go out you could wear that leather skirt, from the Zena princess warrior collection. I’m sure Dan the tanner would enjoy that.”
Brandy, “I think I found the right underwear for it today, leather on skin is never that comfortable.”
I said, “I know there’s a good joke in there somewhere.”
She said, “I’m sure it will come to you, like an idea on what to do with the Megaphones and MP3’s.”
I said, “my first idea was a pair of the loudest headphones that could be made, then another thought came to me. If I recorded the wolf, I could use it from the air to drive wild dogs away, of course the flight of the Valkyries would do the same.”
Brandy, “is that the one the choppers used in that movie?”
I said, “I think so.”
She said, “well the sound of a wolf howling in the streets would get me moving, but the dogs may be able to tell the difference, unless you plan to drop bags of wolf urine on them from the sky as well.”
I said, “a flying wolf ghost that pisses on the dogs before it picks them off, what a nightmare it would be for them.”
Brandy, “and anyone else caught in the crossfire of piss and bullets.”
I said, “yes well, you said the sound would get you running.”
She said, “I may start taking my umbrella with me on sunny days.”
I then got a brownie and some tea, to take with meas I looked over what was needed to make the heliport lift work. I had more than enough batteries charged up, if this pump just worked I would be gold. So deciding to risk the trip, I put the part in my pack and told Brandy I was off. Now was a good time to see him, as I had just ate the brownie and was feeling well, so by the time I dropped down on his roof I felt like I was still flying. He on the other hand was manic, and doing many things at the same time, one was some work on his solar powered vehicle. He looked at the pump and I pointed out the condition of the seal, then he said, “yes yes yes, this is a special one, my assistances can help you find it. The frame on the flyer seems to be holding up, I guess we didn’t put too much strain on it during the last launch. I hope the mushrooms you took were good, I’m just coming back, with so much work to do nothing is getting done.” I said, “chill professor, have a brownie, I made them myself.”
He took a bite and said, “this is really good, I need the sweet for a boost, and the carbs will help me balance out as well.”
I said, “those will balance you out alright, I put enough hash in them, those jitters will be gone in no time.”
Harry, “thank you, you come with the most needful things. Take some more fuel when you go, but first have a drink while they find that seal for you.”
So we sat down in some padded chairs next to the hot-tub. One of his assistances was taking a dip as I came in, and the deck had wet footprints on it, but her top was over the back of my chair. Harry pulled a bottle out of a cooler he made and said, “this should be about right by now, put it in before starting the bubbles to the tub, it’s a new system I made to take the heat and make cold from it. Now when the hot-tub water gets ready, so is the wine.” I said, “I have a floor with one, but there are enough distractions in my day.”
Harry, “you can never have enough distractions as long as you concentrate on them.” I said, “and which one were you concentrating on when I flew in?”