The Fell Good Flue (23 page)
Read The Fell Good Flue Online
Authors: Robin Miller
Brandy, “you didn’t stop by the street on the way did you?”
Teddy, “as a matter of fact I did, but this is bear and dear meat. I’m told the cat pelt down there went to Dan the tanner for you, someone got trade for the meat, but I don’t know about the rest of the snake. They tell me the shot was made from up here.”
I said, “yes, but the ringing in my ear from it has been replaced now.”
Teddy, “nice sound.”
Brandy, “thank you for bringing the meat for us Teddy. Will you be having anyone with you, or are you hoping Daisy will show up?”
Teddy, “my hopes about Dizzy Daisy driving me crazy, are all made up by you and her, and I think you are trying to slip me in to keep her attention off Nibor. And I don’t want to let my friends down by not doing all I can, but we all know Daisy never leaves her place.” Barb, “yes Teddy, we all know what a giving man you are. So which woman are you giving it to this week, and will we meet her?”
Teddy, “they should be by soon, I thought it best to check before bringing people. Do you mind if the Anvil sisters join us?”
I said, “none of us mind those two coming.”
Brandy, “careful how you spell that dear, we would love to have them.”
Jacob, “careful how you say that as well.”
Barb, “coming from you it better well be.”
I said, “it’s starting to sound like a party already, lets pass that wine around.” So a few bottles were opened and meat was put on the fire. Night was coming quickly, and the zip-lines were soon herd again with Laurence and Betty with him. We welcomed them to the party as TT showed up with two women with him, then Billy’s girl came by as a guide for Stan who had brought Moonshine Molly. It was getting to be a large party when the Anvil sisters got there for Teddy, then Harry came by with his assistances. They drove down the street in their Land rover blowing their horn, and took a tow line up zipping up.
I said, “Harry, I can’t believe you made it, and you got the vehicle running. Will it need to set until morning to run again?”
Harry, “not this time, I put extra batteries in it, and a small diesel engine just in case. I hope it does not get away from me again.”
I said, “if it does, we may not find it for days this time, have a seat.”
So we sat with some others and the food was passed around. Harry was a real conversation piece as most never saw him, but all had heard of his work and the two assistances. They were not twins but looked alike, and one once had plastic surgery to make her breast as nice as the other’s, they would always try to get people to guess which and did not mind leaving their tops off until everyone was sure.
Billy said, “I can tell for sure if I feel them.”
And Billy’s girl said, “if you do they’re the only ones you’re going to feel.”
TT had brought more smoke with him and I passed out some brownies as well, so we were having a pretty good time. I’m sure Harry broughtmore mushrooms, but I didn’t have any. Before long several games of hide and seek were played by my guest on one of the other thirty stories, and I’m sure Billy found what he was looking for, but all made it back to the party at one time or the other. The controlled chaos went on for hours into the night, and all had a good time. We laughed about when Brandy asked what to cook, and I shot a mountain lion from my window and said cat, I still can’t believe I made that hit. We used my night scope to look around with, and everyone got a chance to try it, TT said Daisy was waving. Moonshine Molly said she liked Stan’s tea better than her Moonshine, and was more sober that I had seen her in awhile. The two of them seemed to be getting along well, and she said she would break a bottle over any women’s head that tried to take him away. I’m not sure that he knew she meant it.
Stan said, “you people sure know how to throw a party, I’m going to love living in this town.” I said, “yes well we believe that all we are is only memories, so you better make some good ones.”
Stan, “I am most definitely making some good memories tonight.”
Brandy, “we are always glad to be part of a memory.”
TT, “but some are not glad to have you in theirs, despite their generous natures, bad trade with these two can scar you.”
Stan, “from what I’ve seen, just a scar is lucky. And from the way I’ve seen some people act, much less than deserved. That’s why he was needed to help me get my cargo to town, once I decided to trade.”
TT, “Jacob and Nibor have worked for me for many years, they have never failed, a reputation that cannot be shared with many.”
Harry, “yes, others of us must make a reputation at trying more often than anyone else, and what would research be without lovely research assistances,” and he playfully bit one. She yelled, “ouch! That better not burse, or you will be able to tell us apart.” We all laughed and he said, “I’m trying, my research is not complete yet.”
Stan, “well I’ve been doing some research too, and there is a piece of land not being used nearby, that may be worth trying to crop with my horses. But it would take a part time commitment for a long time from many, to get it to put out, if we could get it that far.” TT, “I told him he had my full support, but I could not do the same for others.” Brandy, “I think Nibor had a vision of this the other night.”
I said, “I had a number of them, but I think we should give it a try, we need more open ground field crops.”
Brandy, “he has a dream of planting weed all around the outside rows so people will not notice it’s a food crop inside.”
TT, “I’m having the same dream now, am I drooling?”
Brandy, “maybe Harry can come up with a genetic splice for us to grow weed-wheat.” Jacob, “you’re making me hungry again, and I’m full already.”
Harry, “I may be able to come up with something, but making weed bread is so much easier with the separate products, and it lights up easier too.”
I said, “talking about lighting up, check out this new pipe I got from the museum.” And I passed it around for people to look at and try. Soon the hour got much latter and the battery power got low, people started to go home, all thanking us for a great time. We cleaned things up a bit then went to bed ourselves, havingmade it through another party with friends.
The next morning I slipped out of bed before the light and went down to my gym to use the Jacuzzi, finding it had bend cleaned and refilled with hot water, I slipped in and let the bubbles work their magic. I did not use this much, and appreciated the fact that my guest were so considerate to leave things clean. There was of course leftover underwear that I did not recognize, but at least it was not in the water. Brandy came in carrying Sage at her breast and said, “I see they left this clean, or did you get a very early start?”
I said, “we both seem to be getting a early start today, it’s not even light out yet, but I didn’t clean in here.”
“I see,” she said, as she picked up a pair of panties with her toes and tossed them to the side of the room, “that would explain the underwear. Someone had a good time down here last night.”
Then she sat Sage down and dropped her robe to step in with me.
Setting on my lap she said, “someone is sure relaxed this morning, this thing must be doing its job.”
I said, “I think I feel a part tightening up.”
She turned the bubbles up high, and we embraced the moment with a wet massage that had much splashing before we were done. Luckily little Sage was placed in a dry area, but that never stopped him. After the three of us were dry again we went back to our liven room, and got dressed. The sun was up now, and we were hunger to greet the day, but first breakfast. I said, “what’s left over from last night to eat?”
Brandy, “you have already been there, but I guess you’re still hungry, let me see what’s in the kitchen.”
I said, “I am going to write that one down.”
She said, “I still say we should set up video, the Jacuzzi would have been the place to record last night, and this morning as well. In a few years I myself may not believe some of the things we have done, I think this morning counts.”
I said, “don’t worry, I’m taking notes, I keep the extra copies on the third shelf of the adult book store and porn shop.”
Brandy, “like you have time to make copies, but that’s a sweet thought dear. Next time you’re there pick me up some new whips, mine are getting frail.”
I said, “got to keep those rats in line.”
Biscuits and gravy later we drank tea and listened to the drums on the street about the day to come. This was light enough for me, as I was still a bit full from last night. The word on the wind was men needed to work a field, brush removal and lookouts, and the location was just where I knew it would be.
Brandy said, “so he’s moving ahead with it, not just party talk last night.”
I said, “yes, it seems our trader Stan is planning a day of showing how much he believes in this place.”
She said, “will you go?”
I said, “how can I not, after saying I’m in?”
Brandy, “well just remember you are not a horse, you’re the best eyes and weapon they have, save your strength for the fight.”
I said, “at first the fight will be with the ground, and it will not give up easily.” She said, “yes, they will have to spend much time on open ground to work it, and will need someone to keep a close eye on their backs while they do it. The sight of you making sure they are safe will bring more hands than watching your back in a field.”
I said, “I bet I can get a lot of people to come watch my backside.”
Brandy, “yes but not much gets done doing it, afterwards maybe, but not just by watching it.” I said, “you got a point there, and it’s the afterwards that tires me out as well, so I better stick to keeping my part time backside in high places scouting.”
She said, “as long as you’re not scouting for the wrong backside with your scope.” I said, “who even has time for such thoughts with you to fill me, so thanks for a chance to bring back old memories. Daisy told me to try using that on you, to see if it brought back anything.” Brandy, “was that before or when you dropped off the brownies?”
I said, “I never landed when I dropped them.”
She said, “I see, and so did you, but that’s not answering the question.”
I said, “I know, see how much fun it is to talk about Dizzy.”
Brandy, “that’s Daisy, she only makes men dizzy.”
I said, “and so do conversations about her, so kiss me and tell me to shut up.” She planted a large one on me and said, “I’ll shut you up with thoughts that will tire you out too much to talk, so use those lips for nonverbal communication.”
I said, “this is how not getting anything done starts.”
Brandy, “no that was the water, we are making progress now, you have had your breakfast.” I said, “so I guess I should show the world I’m not the last to get moving after last night’s party.” She said, “just part of the town will do, your legend will spread far and wide.” So I geared up, and took the flyer, waving at a few people as I went. Over the buildings and past the mall was the field people were working on, and I scouted the area far and wide for large animals or outsiders. The stream that ran past it would be handy for irrigation, but also attracted anything else that was thirsty, and the brush hid things well. So my sweep ran both ways to double check not missing something, then I put it down near the field. Stan was walking a horse to pull some brush and said, “I’m glad someone took a good look around, we can only see so far in some of this area.”
I said, “don’t see any armies coming, but I may have missed something, still a snake is your biggest worry out here.”
Stan, “yes, the others have been looking for them while cutting brush, we hope to have a controlled burn soon.”
I said, “that will drive them out of hiding.”
Stan, “then maybe we can plow some grown up, Teddy is redoing a harness that should work.” I said, “we will need some fence around this place as well, the dear alone that run through here would tear up new plants.”
Stan, “Laurence said he would help with that, but a lot needs to be done before then. We have people doing just lookout with rifles, some on the ground and a few on the nearest building, but a long range heads-up would be helpful for running to safety if need be.” I said, “with the firepower some of them carry here, only a large raid would take them on, and right now only the horses would be of interest. So if I see a army coming your way I’ll let you know.”
He lead his horse on and I walked over to one of the field guards. He was checking the brush while keeping an eye out for snakes in the field as well.
I said, “trading time for time today?”
He said, “yes sir, if it all works out. The memory of last winter tells me we better make use of what we can, and if the memory of my standing here gets me one more day of food next winter, then I’m going to do it.”
I said, “good man. How goes the snake hunting?”
He said, “got enough to eat for three days already, that brush cutting is driving them out, it’s a lot better than hunting them on your own.”
I said, “and there is someone around if you get bit, which is what we will try to keep the others from. Keep your ears open to the horse, if it spooks you better be ready to catch it.” He said, “horses scare me, anything that steps on me instead of me on it, does. They can catch the horse, and I’ll get the snake that scares it.”
I said, “fair trade, keep an eye out.”
He said, “yes sir,” and he searched the brush some more.
I took a few steps then
bang!
And turning around said, “there’s another for you.” He said, “thank you sir,” and put it in his bag.
I then pulled out my scope, and looked at the guard on the nearby building, to see him giving me the thumbs up on that snake. Then I checked out the ends of the field with it to see what I had missed from the air. A few rabbits were moving, so I put my ear plug in and slapped the scope on my rifle. A 9mm at your side is not bad on the ears, but this cannon was not going to get to them again. I pulled out my new shooting glasses and took a crouching position, carefully keeping an eye out for more snakes as well, then made a map in my head as to where everyone around me was. With a glance I was ready for far-sight, and scoped in on the last place I saw those rabbits. People were working this side of the field, so none were going to be in my way, and could not see what I did. The rabbits showed themselves again, hopping into the field near the stream. I had them in sight when a dear jumped over them, with three dogs on its tail. I adjusted my aim and down came the dear with the dogs about on it, with my next shot dropping one at its hind leg. The two others broke off, and I dropped one more before the roof guard got off a shot that stopped the third dog, then running up the field guard finished it off. I stood up and yelled toward the roof, “you’re getting slow up there.”
He yelled back, “I’m just not as greedy as some.”
Luckily Stan had a good hold on the horse, and the extra help that was already there made quick work of the kill. The rabbits got away, but my rifle most likely would not have left much anyway. With another dear being taking care of for me, and the dog meat going to trade, I got back into the sky. I took another look at the area, and what might have been scared away by the shots, but I could see nothing but a few rabbits. So I flew to the goat park, and landed in the yard again.
Laurence came over saying, “was that you again and someone else I heard?”
I said, “their first day on the new field and its snakes and wild dogs.”
He said, “how many of which, I heard a number of shot from over there?”
I said, “first I shot a snake, then a dear and two of the dogs after it, a roof guard got the last dog.”
Laurence, “then there was another shot.”
I said, “yes, the field guard had to finish that last dog off.”
He said, “looks like you picked the right time to drop by there, a pack of wild dogs could of torn people up or killed someone before that many were shot.”
I said, “they had other guns there, I just got off a few shots first, like four of them.” Laurence, “no doubt about it, you’re the fastest here, even a cat can’t get past you fast enough.”
I said, “talking about cats, did you think any of that meat tasted like that, because I have these short hairs in my teeth this morning.”
He said, “the meat was not the cause, but I had the same problem, until she flossed them for me.”
I said, “can you spare some? It’s almost affecting my aim.”
Laurence, “and something to rinse with as well, come on in.”
So we went in and he found his supply, then gave me a bag of floss-picks saying, “they don’t taste like mint anymore, but it does the job. Try some of this brandy to wash away that plaque with.”
I took a sip and said, “that will kill some germs,” then pulling a short-hair from my teeth said, “I know that cat was not a red head, and neither is Brandy.”
He said, “it’s the raspberry brandy, the evidence had been contaminated now, so we may never know who’s it was.”
I said, “I think I prefer it that way. How’s the wolf, have you taught him any new tricks yet?” Laurence, “not my job, but you see how far away the dogs were.”
I said, “I guess he is doing his job just by sitting there, unlike guards that just sit there.” He said, “you got that right, so I’ll have some of that dog brought to him so he won’t feel left out, a workman is worthy of his meat.”
We then went out to see him, and I slipped him a piece of first cut from the buck. Laurence said he put in a run line that went sixty feet along the fence, but was not ready to try it yet with the wolf, if he got loose in the fenced in yard they would have a hard time catching him again. I said, “yes, he could live off of the rats for a long time before falling for the doped up free lunch again, we would have to use big nets.”
Laurence, “which gives me an idea for a dear fence. There is lots of camouflage netting that is not good for much but being seen, if we run it out like a high fence around the field it will turn the dear. Then we can run a low hanging electric wire for when they look for ways in, they won’t just run through it with the rag-fence there.”
I said, “it will shade the outside rows a bit, but we can’t build a twelve foot storm fence everywhere we want, they just don’t make that stuff anymore.”
He said, “there’s a lot of things no one makes anymore, so we work with what we have.” I said, “yes, but the 90% that died off did leave us a lot, it’s just that sometimes we can’t get to it.”
Laurence, “and the things we can get a hold of don’t mean much anymore, what with the way most have to live. I remember thinking I was in trouble if there was not enough toilet paper, but then I found out how easy it was just to wash my ass when I shit.”
I said, “yes I too learned early during the apocalypse, that you should wash any part of your body your hands touch, not just wash the hands themselves. Think about it. How many times a day do you wash your hands when they do not have shit on them? Then ask yourself why you would want to just wipe it off with paper.”
Laurence, “my hands get shit on them more often than my ass, so my ass takes less time to take care of, but then some people still miss paper towels.”
I said, “they never did the job right either, just more spreading it around than cleaning. Water and a good towel that can be washed from time to time is the best way to go.” He said, “half the time I dry my hands on my shirt and say to myself, “well, you just washed them.”
I said, “I do the same, but often my hands are not as clean as I thought they were, but I haven’t seen tracks on my underwear in years.”
Laurence, “me either, I don’t wear them anymore.”
We laughed and went back around to the flyer, thanking him again for the floss-picks and brandy. Then I took to the sky again, and did another fly over the new field before heading home again. I landed on the heliport pad and lowered it down to the next floor, then rode my bicycle to the rest of our apartments.
Walking in the back door I said, “I’m back!”
Brandy yelled out, “I’m in the changing room.”
I walked in there to see Sage getting more use out of our last shopping trip.
Brandy said, “you weren’t gone long before I heard the shots.”
I said, “some dogs were chasing a dear at the edge of the field, and a snake got in my way as well.”
Brandy, “word that you’re up has stated to spread, and for good reason, you don’t leave the house for long without killing something these days.”
I said, “it helps to have the right weapon on hand, the field guard said he already had a three day supply of snake, and that was before I shot another one for him.”
Brandy, “so your 9mm is one down and you gave the food to him.”
I said, “it buys eyes on the field when I’m not there, and we have new dear meat to eat.” She said, “what about the dogs? I heard your rifle discharge three.”