The Fiddler's Secret (18 page)

It didn't help that Peter trailed Pa around, spending time with Pa any chance he got. Every time Libby wanted to talk with Pa, Peter was there.

Folding and unfolding the cloth of her skirt, Libby tried to think how to ask what she wanted to know. Then, like a stream of water dammed up for too long, her words tumbled out. “If you adopt Peter, what will happen to me?”

“Remember how we talked about being a never-give-up family?” Pa asked.

Libby nodded. She had asked Pa for such a family after
one of the most awful moments of her life. “How could I ever forget?”

“We agreed that you and I are that family. We said that people living with us on the
Christina
could also be part of that family—a wider family. Remember how I told you that I love Caleb as a son?”

“Yes,” Libby answered. At one time that had bothered her.

“I love Peter the same way. And Annika and I are growing in our friendship with each other.”

Libby swallowed hard.
I wanted to be strong, and I'm not
. She truly wanted Pa and Annika to get married. Yet Libby still felt mixed up about that too.
Will Pa change? Will he have time for me?

As though hearing her thoughts, Pa kept on. “When I open my heart and life to these people, my love just gets bigger. They don't take your place in my life. There is no one—absolutely no one—who can do that.”

“Will you love me just the same?” Libby asked.

“Always. Forever. Unconditionally. In spite of what you do or don't do.”

Libby searched Pa's eyes. His face was filled with love but also the honesty she had learned to trust.

“I believe you, Pa,” Libby said softly. “With all my heart I believe you.”

“And Peter? What should we do?”

In that moment Libby understood. “He needs to know you're his pa, just like I need to know it.”

Libby reached up for a hug, and Pa's arms went around her.

During lunch, the tables in the main cabin were set closer than usual because of the number of passengers returning to their homes in the South. Even the captain's table was crowded next to one wall.

Libby sat between her pa and Aunt Vi. As always, Vi wore her Sunday go-to-meeting clothes. In spite of the August heat, she had a short jacket over her dress. Still hoping to turn Libby into a proper young lady, Vi was making her more uncomfortable by the moment.

“Libby, have you forgotten how to hold your fork?”

Each time her aunt corrected her, Libby did her best. Soon she fumbled with nervousness.

When the steward tried to hand Vi a bowl of gravy, he was unable to reach her. Libby offered to help. As she took the bowl, her hand slipped, and the gravy spilled onto her aunt's jacket.

Instantly Vi jumped up. “Oh, Libby! How could you!”

Libby was horrified. “Quick! Take it off so it doesn't burn you.” Libby helped her aunt out of the jacket.

Vi was unharmed but very angry. “Libby Norstad, you are fourteen years old and still clumsy. This is a new jacket!”

Libby's face burned with shame. “Let me take it,” she said. “I'll wash it right away.”
And I'll get out of here too
, Libby promised herself, eager to escape.

In the women's room, Libby filled a bowl with water, then added soap. Before washing the jacket she checked the pockets. When Libby found a folded slip of paper, she opened it.

Libby couldn't believe her eyes. She remembered Pa telling Annika,
“I'll be very glad if it stays that way.”
And here it was, Annika's answer!

The minute she found Pa alone, Libby gave the note to him.

“Captain Norstad!” Pa exclaimed. “I know that some women call their husbands mister all their lives. But I thought we had gotten beyond that!”

“Pa,” Libby started, then stopped.
If I say something, he'll know I listened in
. She debated what to do. Then she decided to risk it. “Pa, I know what her note means. I heard you and Annika talking.”

For a moment her father stared at her. “Elizabeth Norstad! You know you shouldn't listen in! That was a private conversation!”

The warm flush of embarrassment rushed into Libby's face. “I'm sorry, Pa. I'm truly sorry. But look what Annika said.”

As her father stared down at the note in his hand, hope returned to his eyes. “Good,” he said. “Good!”

Carefully he folded the note and put it in an inside pocket of his captain's uniform. “Where did you find this, Libby?”

When she told him, Pa did an about-face and stalked off to his cabin.

CHAPTER 14

A
t the end of the evening meal, Pa spoke to Libby and Aunt Vi. “I want to talk with both of you. I'll meet you in my cabin.”

When Libby and her aunt reached Pa's cabin, Vi looked around as if she had never seen it. “This is where you have school?” she asked.

“Pa does a good job of teaching us,” Libby answered, always ready to defend her father.

But Vi was already pacing around the room. When she headed for the rocking chair to sit down, Libby spoke quickly. “That's Pa's chair.” She couldn't bear to see her aunt sitting in it. Instead, Libby offered one of the chairs at the table.

By the time the silence had grown long between them, Pa appeared. Drawing up his rocking chair, he sat down. “I'm sorry about the problem at lunch today.”

“Libby was clumsy again,” Vi answered. “She spilled gravy all over my lovely new jacket.”

“Can you tell me about it, Libby?” Pa asked.

“Auntie is right,” Libby answered. “I was nervous. I spilled.”

“And why were you nervous?”

Oh, Pa!
Libby wanted to cry out.
You were there. Why do you have to ask?

When she didn't speak, Pa asked again. “Why were you nervous, Libby?”

With one quick glance, Libby took in her aunt. Her back straight as a stick, she looked prim and proper. Libby knew her aunt expected her to act the same way.

“I was trying to do everything just right.” Libby spoke in a low voice.

“What happened that caused you to spill?”

“The tables were set too close together. There wasn't enough room for the steward to get around behind Auntie. I offered to help and my hand slipped. The gravy spilled.”

“All over me,” Vi said grimly. “I could have been scalded to death.”

“All over your thick jacket,” Libby said politely. She knew the layers of cloth had protected her aunt. “I offered to wash the jacket.”

Vi sniffed. “As any normal person should do.”

“And?” Pa asked Libby.

In that moment she understood what he was trying to do. Libby wanted to giggle but knew she had better not. No matter what, she had to keep a straight face.

“I felt bad.” Libby did her best to sound sorry. “I wanted to be sure I did everything right. So I checked the pockets before I washed the jacket.”

“Did you find anything in the pockets?” Pa asked.

Libby's gaze met Pa's. “I found a note addressed to you.”

“Oh,” Pa said. “That's a strange place to find a note addressed to me. How do you think it got there?”

Libby shrugged. “Maybe Auntie would know.”

Only then did Libby risk a glance that way. Her aunt's face seemed frozen. The next instant it thawed with a red flush that covered her cheeks.

“When did you get the note?” Pa asked Vi, giving no hint how important the message was to him.

“Just before we left St. Paul.” Vi stumbled, clearly embarrassed. “Annika ran up to the boat. A very improper lady she is.”

“She asked for me?”

“Yes. I told her you were gone, so she gave me the note.”

“But I wasn't gone,” Pa said. “Why did you tell her that?”

Vi swallowed hard. “I was sure you wouldn't want to be bothered with such a young lady.”

“I wouldn't want to be bothered with Annika?” Pa's voice held a sound that made Libby tremble. “Did you say that to her?”

“Oh no, of course not. I would never be so rude.” But Vi's eyes wavered, and Libby knew her aunt was lying.

“You simply told her I never wanted to see her again.”

As if Pa had come too close to the truth, Vi blushed. “Did Libby tell you that?” she blurted out.

Pa's face was white now with a look more desperate than Libby had ever seen. “You actually told her I never wanted to see her again?”

Her gaze still on Pa, Vi leaned back in her chair. “No, I didn't. I told Annika that if she married you, she would always be second best.”

“Second best?” Pa roared. “What did you mean by that?”

“That you would always love my sister, Christina, more.”

Pa looked stunned. “I can't believe you said that! Why?
And why didn't you give me the note?”

“I forgot.” Vi's eyes wavered again.

“You forgot. For one whole night and morning you forgot.” With angry steps Pa paced around the cabin, then sat down again. “Why? Why did you do this?”

As Libby watched, her aunt's eyes filled with resentment. “If you marry Annika, you'll have an excuse to keep Libby on this awful boat. You know this is not the place for a young lady to be. If you want Libby to turn out right, to be a proper society girl, she needs to live in Chicago with me.”

Pa leaped to his feet. “You believe I would allow Libby to live with you?” With two giant steps he stood directly in front of Vi, staring into her face. “You think I would make that mistake again?”

Just as suddenly Pa backed away. When he spoke, his voice sounded so calm that Libby knew he was holding tight to his control.

“In two hours we'll reach Galena,” he told Vi. “You can stay at the DeSoto House tonight. Tomorrow you can take a stagecoach or connect with a train to Chicago. Pack your many bags and be ready to go.”

Suddenly Vi assumed the air of a queen. “My dear dead sister, Libby's mother, would not approve of this.”