The Forest of Adventures (#1 of The Knight Trilogy) (15 page)

“So what’s happening with us?”
I asked, not expecting an answer.

Without looking at me Blake
replied, “Whatever you want to happen to us, Mina.”

19. FALLEN ANGELS

There were only three days of
college until the half-term holidays and, suffering from the
humiliation of the incident at the Spring Ball, I played the flu
card. Blake rang me and reported back that I’d probably made the
right decision but he was sure that it would all settle down over
the holidays.

On Monday evening, Daisy
called. I let it go to message. I didn’t want to talk about it. I
didn’t want to have her try and appease me when I knew deep down
that what Matt had said was probably what they’d all been
thinking.

By Tuesday lunchtime there was
a knock at the door and I opened it to be greeted by an oversized
bouquet sent in the name of an apologetic Matt, but obviously
organised by Daisy. Not wanting any reminders of that night, I took
it to the hospital that night and asked the nurses to divide it
between some of the patients. I sent Daisy a ‘thank you’ to avoid
hurting her feelings but I refused to accept the apology that had
been offered. I needed time.

Almost everyday of the holiday,
I spent at Meadowlake with Blake and Vivien. It was here that I
felt most at home and it made me sad to think of the distance I’d
travelled from Mum. I knew she was hurting but I couldn’t fix that
without giving up Blake and The Realm.

I’d come to understand the
rhythms and pattern of daily life at Meadowlake and I knew that if
I timed it early enough, I’d arrive to find Blake in the middle of
combat practice. In the weekdays he would be practicing with Percy,
his best friend, but at the weekend Meadowlake seemed to become a
general meeting point and the training yard would suddenly seem
full of their friends; all young men and all of them stunningly
handsome. I watched mesmerised by the balance of strength and
agility that each of them possessed, and even though the fighting
seemed at first a purely physical response, I began to understand
that combat was the perfect union between body and intelligence; a
split second loss of concentration would find you on the floor at
the mercy of your opponent.

When I first saw the yard full
with the boys fighting, I was reminded of the haunting story we’d
studied in Religious studies last year. The story was from the Book
of Enoch and told how the angels of heaven had come down to Earth
and against the heavenly law had fallen in love with mortal women.
The children of these unions were a new breed of men who were half
angel and half man. As men, they were awesome and perfect beings
but as angels they were incomplete and fallen. As I sat watching
Blake, I couldn’t help but come repeatedly to the same question,
which was Blake - perfect human or fallen angel?

The one thing I was certain of,
was that I found watching Blake at practice a deeply satisfying way
to spend a morning. I’d sit and indulge myself, focussing on the
small details that made up his overall beauty; letting my eyes
linger on the muscles and sinews of his lunging body, watching the
beads of sweat travel down the side of his chiselled cheek bones.
Within minutes of this voyeurism, I’d find myself resigned to a
craving that was at once exquisite and painful. I guessed he was
not oblivious to the effect that his body had on me, and on more
than one occasion when he was training completely alone, he’d
remove his shirt, only to be teased mercilessly during supper by
friends who’d been spying on us.

Being at Meadowlake with its
energy and the vibrancy, with the laughter of all Blake’s friends
continually filling the house made me happy in a way that I’d never
been before. To them, I was as much of a curiosity as they were to
me, but they welcomed me with the same warmth as they treated
Blake, and within a short time I felt I’d acquired a whole order of
brothers that would willingly fight any dragon that dared to try
and eat me.

In their free time, almost all
conversations the boys had were about the coming Pentecostal
feasts. Not having been brought up in a household that observed the
Christian calendar, aside from the usual Christmas and Easter, I
found it difficult at first to grasp the importance and even when
Blake tried without much success to explain the finer points, all I
really understood was that Pentecost was important because of two
key things.

Firstly, it was the only time
in the year that all the Knights of The Round Table came together
for matters of The Realm, and secondly it was the only time of year
that the blessings for marriages were given. This particular
Pentecost was more anticipated than usual by the boys as several of
them in Blake’s group, having met marrying age, were expected to
put forward requests for weddings later in the year.

I was surprised that boys our
age were so keen on getting married but when I asked Blake and he
delicately informed me that it was the only way to get your leg
over, it all became a little bit clearer.

When I’d stopped blushing,
Blake tried to explain The Realm’s stance on marriage more
sensibly, “In the Realm the idea of Christian marriage is still
important but it’s changed over time so that now husband and wife
are seen as equal status. Because money and material goods are
irrelevant to us, there’s little conflict about roles and equality
than there are in the Real World.”

“So how come I’m still
witnessing a man’s world?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because you come
here
and this is where the men hang out.”

I let out a gentle mocking
laugh, “The
men
?” I said raising an eyebrow.

Blake returned the insult by
pushing me over with one small push so that I was left laughing and
laying on my back starring at the sheep-clouds in the sky. He let
himself fall backwards and turned himself on his side to look at
me.

“Women in The Realm are viewed
as incredibly powerful and considered to have many superior
intellects.” He smiled and I wondered if this were really the case
or whether he was saying it just to please me.

“Well, of course!” I said
laughing.

Blake continued, “Many of The
Realm’s scholars are women. It’s thought that they’ve a more
instinctive way with knowledge. Most of the Knights’ wives are
involved in important work at the Scholarship.”

“The what?” I asked.

“The Scholarship is The Realm’s
university. It’s charged with guarding the wisdom of the ancients
and using it alongside the modern technologies and sciences of the
Real World. It’s an amazingly weird place and the women, who all
wear red silk dresses, are all a little weird too.” He smiled
cheekily, “Weird but Sexy!” I gave his elbow a push causing him to
topple. “Hey, I didn’t have you down as the jealous type,” he
laughed. “When I was a child I used to go there with Vivien and was
allowed to have free run of the place. That stopped when it was
considered that I was too old.

“Too old?”

“When they considered that I
was a man.” He winked naughtily and I felt myself blush. “No men
are allowed on deck, so to speak – unless they’re married.”

“And the women that aren’t in
the Scholarship?”

“As in your world, they’re free
to do as they please but there’s a great respect for the idea of
motherhood. For women in The Realm, creating and nurturing children
is considered one of the most challenging of all adventures.”

I rolled my eyes, “So is it the
Middle Ages or the Dark Ages that you come from?”

“Motherhood is about all ages.
We’ve a slightly less grinding attitude to mothering here. When a
child is born, the child is born to The Realm – not just to the
mother and father – and so everybody takes a role in the nurture
and care of him. The mother isn’t burdened with all the
responsibility, and just because she’s had a baby she doesn’t have
to stop doing whatever it was she was doing before because
everybody helps out.”

“It all sounds well and good
Blake, but I can’t help but feel that somehow it’s the same old
issues just repackaged. Are women truly free to do what they
want?”

“Of course they are.”

“Become a knight?” I
challenged.

“Well o.k. You’ve got me there.
There aren’t any women knights.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think a woman’s ever
asked to be one?”

“Fair enough,” I said laughing
and since I wasn’t keen to be one myself I didn’t feel that I had
the right to argue the point further.

I found myself surprised by my
response to Blake’s explanations. In my own world these kinds of
attitudes would have had me screaming from the rooftops and burning
my bra. Somehow here it seemed the obvious way. When I looked at
Vivien with all her vitality and beauty I could see that she exuded
strength and authority. Every one of Blake’s friends worshipped the
ground she walked on and would be willing to lay their own life on
the ground for her if she were ever in danger.

“Do they think that you’ll have
your own Pentecostal request?” I asked flirtatiously.

Blake blushed, “No, I don’t
think that even
they’re
that stupid.” He gave a wry smile,
“But on second thoughts, if it meant I got my wicked way with you
then it might just be worth it.”

We both blushed, looking away
like we’d just committed a naughty crime. We’d fallen into a
slightly easier acceptance of our love but it still wasn’t as
either of us would have wished. Vivien came out onto the deck also
making her own escape, book in one hand and a glass of lemonade in
the other. She made her way to the bench by the lake and laid
herself along it.

“Vivien’s pregnant, but it’s a
secret,” Blake blurted out.

“Really? How?”

“Please tell me I don’t really
need to tell you about the birds and the bees,” he said with a
wicked smile.

“No, I mean when? Who?”

“She’s due in the autumn, in
October. She hasn’t told me who and I haven’t thought it proper to
ask.”

“But surely you must have some
idea.”

“No, none at all. She’s got a
lot of admirers but I’m not sure who she has anything closer
with.”

“And you, how do you feel about
it?” I asked.

“It’s made her very happy. She
deserves that; especially after what happened.” He smiled tightly
and nodded his head.

“That’s not really answering my
question and what do you mean
after what happened
?”

“That’s a story for another
day, and it’s not my place to feel anything about it, but I wish
she’d tell me who the father is.” Blake looked over at her.

I could tell he’d been hurt by
her secrecy. We fell silent, both of us looking out across the
lake. Vivien caught my whole attention as she draped herself over
the bench, one hand resting lightly on her ever so slightly curved
belly, the other moving back and forwards feeling the grass between
her fingers. It was hard to imagine that under the curve of her
skin another life was nestling. I felt Blake’s hand search for mine
and I turned to face him.

He was so tempting. All of my
body desired for him to press me against the earth with the weight
of his body and for him to kiss me deeply. Blake looked at me
quizzically and I realised that my private thoughts were probably
more obvious than I realised.

“That was one of the two things
I had to try and work into our conversation this afternoon,” he
said, breaking the sudden tension.

“And the other?” I asked with
trepidation.

“I’m going on quest to collect
what’s needed to bring Sam out of his coma.”

“I see. Where to?”

“The Chapel of Perils.”

“Sounds delightful,” I said
sarcastically, “And exactly how dangerous is this quest going to
be?”

“No more than the usual.”

“Is there a chance you might
die?”

“There’s always that chance on
adventure.”

“Then you shouldn’t go.”

“But if I go, it means that Sam
can be cured and it’ll mean we can all move on.”

“Sorry,” I said suddenly
bristling with anger, “What do you mean
move on
? Do you
think that it’s going to be that simple?”

“Well of course I don’t, but
regardless, it’s still the right thing to do. Sam’s dying and I
have the chance to cure him; it’d be wrong not to do everything
possible.”

“You mean you want to play the
hero?” I said spitefully.

“Don’t be crass, Mina. I don’t
understand why you’re being like this. It’s as if you don’t really
want things to change.”

“That’s really unfair,” I said
as tears needled my eyes. “How can you think that I don’t want Sam
to get better?”

“That was harsh – I’m sorry –
but you need to understand that I’m trying very hard to keep this
all together, Mina. You think you know me but you only know part of
me. You’ve no idea how it’s torturing me to be with you day after
day and not act on how I feel.

When I sit with you, my every
nerve begs to reach out and touch you. The thought of kissing you
fills my every lose thought. I can’t concentrate; I’m all over the
place and it’s driving me to distraction. I didn’t think love would
feel like this. I thought it would be full of certainty but this –
it’s like a shadow has come creeping in during the middle of the
night and then refused to leave. All of this – my love for you -
it’s beautiful, painfully beautiful but it’s lonely and it’s filled
with shame and somehow terribly, that makes it all the
sweeter.”

“Then give in to it. Kiss me.
You have my permission and that’s the only permission you need,” I
whispered.

He nodded his head and bit down
on his lip before letting out a sigh of frustration, “You know it’s
not. You’re not mine.”

“This is ridiculous. I don’t
belong to anybody. I’m only myself and I get to decide where and
when I am kissed and by whom.”