The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (29 page)

I felt as if there was some regret in her voice. I smiled warmly at Mayati as she walked away and into the sunlight, which soon shielded her from my eyes.

*****

The wind seemed to be pushing against me, trying to make me stop. It pulled at my hair and clothes with its fingers. But I would be champion over it. I had never pushed myself so fast, but the wind would not scold me as an angry mother does her child. My ears heard its rustling but not the words. I did not heed its temper this day.

This day, I rode free.

Mother was up ahead rounding the boundary stellae. At times, she moved faster than I could see. It was like she was made up from the wind, moving with a grace and speed unknown to the common person. She had ridden horses all her life as a commander’s first child. By now, it must come to her like walking.

I wondered how the world spun at such speeds. Could she make out the destination with clarity or just see a blurred vision before her? Did a passing person look like a smudge of paint on a wall or were they still a person traveling quickly into the past? My heart beat with excitement at the progress of our travel, but I did not dare look away from where I was going.

I was never completely at ease with trusting my life to a horse’s whim. Their motivations were too unclear. They served people but also ran from us when given the chance. Was it love they felt for us or tolerance? Did they feel as slaves or companions? Things were never certain with men and women, either. Why should it be so different with animals? Any creature of Aten seemed at war with its surroundings.

I could hear mother’s laugh as she passed by me. It was joyful. I was nearing the stellae and ready to turn about and complete the run. The chariot under my feet jostled over sand and rock, but I was able to keep steady balance. Straight was easy. It was the turn that was the challenge, and I lost considerable time in the motion.

As I made my way around and back to the royal road, I could see another chariot in the distance. Two riders were aboard: Horemheb and Tutankhaten. My brother had stayed true to his word and was determined to ride a chariot. Horemheb had constructed a special harness inside it for Tutankhaten’s curved foot. It helped his foot remain steady as he rode. Horemheb had been riding with him these first few times with the new harness, but Tutankhaten improved daily. I was sure he was itching to ride by himself.

Their movement by me was clatter, and the dust of our parting caught in my mouth and nose. Coughing, I made my way back to the smooth road and on toward the palace once more.

Movement slowed as we approached civilization again. It was not the tempestuous lands outside of people that we rode through now. Our desires had to be tamed once again as we approached the palace.

Mother was still laughing as I reined my horse in. Handing off its reins to a stable boy, I jumped off the chariot.

“I see you still hold back, An,” she said to me with a smile.

“I’m afraid I cannot let the fierceness into my heart as you do, Mother. My heart cannot give in to it yet.”

“Do not be scared of anything, An. All people are made from the wild Red Lands and the quiet Black Lands. It is the embrace of both that sets your heart free. You will learn,” she said with an arm around my shoulders.

Tutankhaten’s chariot came in. He coughed as they slowed. Horemheb took over the reins as Tutankhaten removed himself from the chariot.

“Welcome back, Husband-Son. Did you enjoy yourself?” Mother asked kindly. She had begun to treat my brother with more affection than before. She did not act as a mother would, though, but more like an aunt. I knew he loved the attention either way. Things had changed drastically for him since Father’s death. He felt his dreams of becoming a general were finally at hand. Horemheb had taken an interest in him, and now my mother treated him like a person, not a deformity.

“General Horemheb is a genius, truly, with this new brace for my ankle. I feel as if I can ride alone! Soon I hope he will teach me the bow,” Brother excitedly replied.

“You sound like an able student. I am sure General Horemheb enjoys your willingness. So many young men in the kingdom have fallen into ease and comfort. You must be a refreshing drink of water for his tastes.”

Tutankhaten blushed a little. “I don’t think I would qualify as water. It’s a piece of creation connected with the old gods.”

Horemheb came up behind him. “I would say he’s like a bit of stale beer. He ferments daily but is still bitter on my tongue.”

Tutankhaten looked up at him and laughed. The men parted ways with us as we walked back inside the palace. I’m sure Tutankhaten had some more training before he could rest or, more true to the fact, before he
would
rest. As they left, I noticed his gait was smoother but probably would still require a cane if he needed to get somewhere quickly. His leg was getting longer, yet it still seemed shorter than the other leg. It was as if they were not matched up evenly.

My mother and I walked, talking about things I assumed normal mothers and daughters talked about such as my new discoveries as a mother, the way the air smelled this season, Tasherit’s habits, the sound of the birds’ song in the morning, the best way to fit my linens around my curving body. She did not burden me with affairs of state. We instead talked about simple things in the world. I had no interest in taking on the burden that she chose. I was happy to help our citizens, but I did not want to lead the people. I wanted to be one of them. She respected my decision in this.

I separated myself and went to my room, hoping to clean off and snuggle with Tasherit. When I walked in, instead, I saw my sister on the floor facedown. Her eyes were closed, and there was blood coming from her lips.

I fell onto the floor next to her. “Mayati! Wake up! Wake!” I rolled her onto her back.

Mayati’s eyes rolled a little in her head. I could feel her hot breath, so I knew she was alive.

“Help! Pentu! Somebody!” I yelled turning my head to the door.

I felt her hand on my cheek. Her eyes were slits, but she found her words, “Do not call for a doctor. I will be all right. Get me over to the couch.”

I complied. Her body was heavy on mine. Looking around, I could see our children lying together in the playpen in the far room. When I put Mayati down, I frantically went to check and feel for their breath. I almost cried when I felt that it had not been stolen from them. I breathed a heavy sigh. But there was a flush to each of their faces that was fading. Tear tracks still marked their skin with moistness. They had most likely been frightened and had been crying. Now they were resting. They must have soothed each other to sleep. What a wonderful comfort they had in each other.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as my attention returned to my sister. What did that say about how long Mayati had been lying there?

Grabbing a cup, I filled it with water from the basin and brought it over to Mayati. She did not take it, so I dipped my fingers and ran the water along her lips. Her bottom lip had a split in the middle. She winced at my touch.

“Who was here, Mayati? Who did this?”

“It was Pharaoh.”

I drew back a little. “Why would he do such a thing? You are his wife. Has he gone mad?”

“No, that would be too easy.” She weakly took the cup from me and drank. I wiped my bloody fingers on my sheath as she downed the water with one tip back of her head.

When she had set the cup on her lap, I continued. “There is no excuse. He does not have such claim over you. Slaves are treated better than this, being left alone while bleeding out on the floor. You could have died! I will call Mother.”

“Do not fan his flame. I asked him a question is all. He thought I was trying to… It was just a misunderstanding.”

“You make excuses for him. This cannot go unpunished.”

“But it must. He is Pharaoh. What other choice do I have?”

“Why do you think you do not have a choice? You do!”

“You think poisoning Father was truly Mother’s choice?”

My voice hushed. “I did not think that you knew.”

“Of course I do. Why do you think Semhkhare treats me with disdain? I am my mother’s first. He assumes us to be the same.” Mayati’s voice was stronger now. She began to move into a straighter position. She shook her head slightly. “He lashed out because he felt threatened. That is what he does.”

“Did Mother tell you about…?”

“No, Grandfather did. Either Grandfather was going to do it in one swift stroke or Mother could do it and give herself time to say goodbye. Mother thought she was being merciful by easing the people into it, easing Father into the idea. But in the end, she still killed him.”

“Grandfather ordered it! What choice did she have?” I spouted back.

“Now you see. There are no choices. There are merely options, all reaching the same goal. The only choice is the path you take to get there. It is not a choice either. It is nothing more than a shove in one direction. How hard will you let them shove you? That is the real question.”

I had nothing more to say. My heart moved furiously along with my thoughts. I heard movement and looked over to see my Tasherit begin to squirm. I went over and picked her up. I brought her to my breast and let her find comfort there. To have such simple solutions in life as she. Such a life.

Chapter 2

The House of Smenkhkare

1332 B.C., Season of Peret

My faithful Defender,

The wind blows strongly. It feels cool outside these walls, but it blows the worst inside where I am confined. Yet it is not chains that confine me. It is blood. My family is kept shut in from life. Smenkhkare is making his break, and he will not let us out of his sight. I am afraid
.

Pharaoh is holding secret meetings without Mother and Grandfather. He has begun a campaign against all believers he thinks have deviated from what he calls “The Path of Aten.” I fear he has gone mad, but Mayati continues to tell me that is too simple an answer. There is much more we do not know to his plans
.

Please stay indoors. His soldiers have been murdering in the streets daily. Do not leave your house. Tia has instructions to bring you rations of food and drink. Any word spoken that Pharaoh does not like will draw a sword to your belly. He prefers the suffering. He does not like things to be quick and easy
.

Do not walk out from your doors! I beg you to stay within what little safety you can find!

My sister Mayati stays in my room now. After Pharaoh’s demonstration at the Window of Appearances a few days past, she fears for her life. I thank Aten I was not there. Mayati says that everyone present feared being thrown from the balcony as well. The murder of the peasant was so shocking that no one dared move. Pharaoh said that the man had spoken words of praise to Amun. He said that if Aten found him not guilty, he would surely send the heavenly boat to stop his fall and catch him. Hands and feet bound, he was thrown over. There was no one there to save him
.

Is this the way of God, to watch others suffer? To allow men to murder in his name? I find it hard to pray to Him. I am not sure what to think anymore. All I can say to you is stay safe. I try to keep Tia away from the palace as much as possible, but if you need something urgently, she will come
.

Forever in my heart, An

I sent Tia out with the letter and told her not to return until she received further word from me. I also gave her instructions to find a backup nurse for my Tasherit in case anything happened to me and the family. I would find a way to keep her safe. My life was secondary at this point.

Gravely, Tia nodded and left. She moved quickly and quietly out of the apartments. I wanted to pray for her safety, but I did not know what good that would do anymore.

I finished my bodily preparations for dinner. Tonight was The Rebirth Celebration of Nehebkau. It was the first day of the fifth lunar cycle of the year, a cycle beginning on the day when the crescent moon was no longer seen in the East at the hour of daybreak. The waters were pulling from the shores again, like a net being reeled in by Ra’s boat. The winds were still cool off the Great River, so I wore a thicker dress tonight with a robe made from wool dyed in shades of blue. My dress had short sleeves with a gathered collection of fabric at the neckline which swooped down to also cover my breasts. From there, the material rolled down in a square shape to my ankles.

I wore a wig with multiple layers of plaiting in it to keep my head warm. It fell down to my shoulders and covered my ears. On it rested a golden diadem colored with blue and red waves flowing across it. Precious stones also decorated the band, which helped it to glow slightly in the light. It was a favorite of mine. Lastly I stepped into leather sandals. Their tips were upturned to keep the sand out of my toes. They stayed in place with leather straps which went from between my toes and branched across my forefoot and to the back of my heel.

The nurse arrived, Tasherit’s second source of food, and I gave Tasherit a long snuggle and kiss goodbye for the night. She would be resting when I returned. I had wrapped my breasts with cloth so the milk would not leak through my dress in case I was kept away longer than I planned. If Pharaoh could be counted on for anything, it was unpredictability.

Tonight’s celebration occurred just five days after the symbolic death of Osiris. The following days were dedicated to the rebirth of Pharaoh as the living Horus. We now entered the second season of the year in which new life would soon spring from the earth’s muddy pastures. At dinner, we would eat heartily and then reward the citizens with so many loaves of bread in their arms that not even air would find purchase between them. Everyone would leave laden with gifts from Aten. We may use the names of other gods in our feasting, but Aten outshined them all. Pharaoh would remind us of that. The others were just stories.

I walked into Smenkhkare’s hall in the midst of priests singing. Dancers moved about the tables in a frolic of jubilation. People all around me clapped in rhythm as I walked past. The brick structure was immense, and I was sure my young sisters would become lost in it if not careful!