The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (27 page)

“It was then that God spoke. The voice filled our ears. I cannot describe it only to say that it was refreshing and filled the space with nothing but comfort… like a warm blanket feels on a cool evening. I had never experienced such a thing, nor your father. God’s voice said that one saved Egyptian life was worth as much as one thousand to His heart. Then He said to us that from the final plague, Djhutmose’s brother in heart would be spared as long as he dwelled with the Hebrews that night. For then he would see the true God of the lands. And he was. From that point on, we knew. There was only one God. We have longed to hear His voice again but have not had Him touch our kas since that day.”

I started breathing more rapidly as the pain began to creep up my body again.

“What was the final plague?” I asked.

“Death. All of the first-born children of all people and animals died that night. A cold wind swept through the land and captured their breath. We spent the night with his brother in slave’s lodging. It was muddy, cold, but we saw a bright light pass the house. It was brighter than Aten’s scorch on your eyes when you look up to Him. Your father lived, but your grandfather’s first-born daughter, Smenkhkare’s mother, Sitamun died. It also took Smenkhkare’s twin sister, older by mere seconds and Sitamun’s first born. Her name was Smenkara. Death passed your father but not his family. After that night, the Hebrews were set free. And just one year later, the great Amenhotep III died from his grief.”

“So Djhutmose left us.”

“And your father. When he left, it was the worst sort of plague that your father endured. He still suffers. Akhenaten loved him as a best friend. He never wanted to be pharaoh. He wanted to help his brother and be his right hand. Your father begged to follow him, but Djhutmose told him of the promise he had made to God when he spared his life. He was to stay and become pharaoh and never forget God’s mercy. Oh, how he has tried to lead people to God, but I am afraid he forgot to listen as his brother was so good at. He refused help, reasoning that his brother was just one man. This was his downfall. He forgot to let the people in. He kept God to himself, craving that companionship as his brother had with God.”

The pain was stronger than before. It did not stop my words, though. “But he has a son! Why does he still desperately want another one?”

“He has a son like him, deformed, rejected. To see him is to see the part of himself that is hidden away, the part that is ashamed of who he is. It is a hole that can never be filled, and I am sorry that my daughters have had to suffer for it. But we all are broken in some way, possess a void that can never be filled, and we must see past those things. It is the point of love, my darling. It’s a choice, not just a feeling. I choose to forgive him.”

There were still so many questions. My fists clenched at the tension in my body. “What about his forgiveness? Why did he pardon Pannefer? Father murdered Kiya because she spoke her mind, but Pannefer was accused of poisoning him and was set free?”

“He knows who poisoned him, darling.”

“Pannefer did do it?”

She did not meet my eyes. “He knows that what I do, I do for the good of our people. For that, he forgives.”

I had no words in reply for what she just said. There was no pain for this one droplet of time as I fumbled over everything up to this point.

Then, as that droplet plunged into once-calm depths, it all came back, and it tore its way across my stomach.

I gritted my teeth. My hands grabbed the seat of the chair and squeezed. The pain began harder than ever. I leaned to my left and purged my supper. One of the servants came over and wiped my mouth off with a cloth. She then began getting rid of the mess I had left.

“You are going to be fine, my darling,” Mother whispered.

“What happened, Mother, that day you warned me to leave the palace? Why did Ay tell Pharaoh about the attack?”

“Because of what happened to Tadukhipa and you. I warned him, if anything happened that jeopardized your safety, he would call it off.”

“I thought you two were working against each other. I hated him. And Wahankh died… Grandfather killed all those people because of me?”

“No, An, there was a rebellion rising. Ay had just kept it quiet. And do not worry about those who have left us. Wahankh is safe now.”

I leaned my head against the chair’s high back. Despite mother’s assurances and calmness, the guilt did not leave me. This was my fault. I was the one that had jeopardized everything and endangered countless more lives. Why was I so special? I certainly did not feel it. It was more like I was a child playing Senet in an adult world. This time, I would be the loser. I chuckled slightly as I remembered how even my younger brother could beat me at the game. I was hopelessly outmatched in life. Even 7 year olds could best me.

I heard beads clattering. As I looked up, I saw Merytaten enter. Her shell-decorated wig framed her face just as it had with Meketaten’s birthing day. She stopped at the sight of Mother, but Mother was walking out now that my sister had appeared.

“Mother, don’t!” I called out to her. “Don’t lie about this child. I don’t want this to make him happy. Please, don’t let his actions bring him happiness.”

She did not look back at me as she replied, “I will not do something that will cause you regret. Someday, you will forgive him.”

Merytaten came to my side, the same place Mother had stood, and we watched her stride out.

“What is she…?” she stammered.

“She is with Father. He takes his last breath this night.”

Merytaten looked down at the floor. “It is true, then. His shadow will fade from the land. I never thought it would happen.”

I groaned loudly. Merytaten held my hand, stroked my hair, and sang to me as I waited for the cramping to pass. As it left me, I looked up at my sister.

“Be thankful you do not have to do this!” I said to her with a small smile.

She smiled back. “You always have to have all the attention, don’t you?”

Jokes could not take away my worries. I had to ask, “Mayati, do you think I will love the baby no matter the sex?”

“I know you will.”

I looked away, unconvinced. Would I truly love something that came about in anger, which was forced upon me, that was never my choice? I had felt protective before, but now I would see it, hold it, and everything would be exposed to the world. When I looked at its face, would I only see pain? What if it too was deformed? Would I love anything less than perfect or would I prove to be just like Father?

She continued, “You will feel something unimaginable. When you look at the baby’s face, you will know. Trust me.”

“Did you feel that with Merytaten Tasherit? Even though she was not your birth child?”

“Absolutely. I never doubted it. I still do not. She may throw up on my best linens, pull at my hair, and sneeze in my face, but nothing will ever change how much I love her.”

My humor returned, “I hope you wiped your face and changed your clothes before you came here.”

Merytaten laughed and then sniffed the air. She scrunched her face. “Coming from someone who just threw up all over the tiles?”

The pain swept over me again. There was a cramp in my upper legs and stomach. I felt a strong urge to curl up into a ball. There was a pressure inside me so great I thought I would tear apart. It was moving down, down. I felt like everything inside me would fall out from between my legs at any moment.

“Time to push, my queen,” Pentu said gently.

I’m not sure how it was, but somehow I knew
how
to push. I pushed so hard that my face felt like a hot towel. My arms shook, and Merytaten put her arms around me to hold me still. I felt her strength within me as she did. Tia came into the room at this point. She rushed to my other side. She rubbed at my back and whispered encouraging words in my ear.

It took only two pushes, and the baby was out. There was crying, I was not sure who, and the baby was handed to me.

It was a girl.

She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Daylight cracked through the curtains of the room. A wind carried the curtains, making them swirl in their breeze and wave at me.

I sat back on the chair and wept.

Eyes Are Fixed On Beauty Until Thou Sets
1322 B.C
.

I followed General Horemheb to my grandfather’s estate. There were many rooms for officials to keep residence in Waset’s palace. As he opened the door, my eyes caught a terrible sight, and I refused to walk any further.

It couldn’t be.

Horemheb pushed me inside and shut the door behind him.

I looked down at the tied prisoner. His mouth was gagged. His eyes met mine, and I could see they were colored with sorrow. Ay stood beside the crouched form.

Ay’s voice seemed to crackle like fire. “I see you do not take advice well.”

I could not show any more fear. As I tore my eyes away from the bound man, I looked up at Ay. The fire in his voice was nothing compared to the fire lighting up my eyes. I remembered the look in my father. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Do you think we are fools? That we don’t know who this boy is?” Ay grabbed the prisoner by the hair and jerked his head upward. “Your lover, Amyntas!”

“Release him! I commanded him to go. Commoners must obey the orders of their queen.”

Ay let his hair go and walked over to me. In a whisper he spoke, his lips close to my ear, “Do you think I have not known about this boy of yours? That I did not know he has been raising your daughter who was supposed to have been killed at Akhenaten? I’ve been at this job since before you were born. I’ve watched out for you, and then you go and do this?”

Horemheb stepped closer. Ay backed away quickly and went over to his desk. He sat down and held up the papyrus with my handwriting.

“This is evidence that you have been plotting against your brothers and sisters of Kemet. And now the Hittites have declared war on us
again
.”

“I wish to bring about peace. All this fighting only kills our loved ones. I’m sick of seeing mothers and wives welcome home an empty body. I would give us the peace we have so longed for with a marriage treaty.”

Horemheb quickly responded, “You cannot invite these barbarians into our land. They will murder you in your bed and take control of the throne. Then who can stop them? They lust only for blood, not marriage, and not peace.”

“They would bring their gods into our land. They would push away all that we have accomplished.” Ay interjected, “You are not thinking clearly, my little queen. Our gods would leave us once again in a tumultuous state. And now we must arm ourselves against a father seeking revenge.”

“Then you should not have killed his son!” I shot back.

“What choice did you give me?” Ay said quietly. It was hauntingly calm.

“You had a choice, to step aside and let my family rule. Instead, you have destroyed us.”

“No, Queen, it is your family that destroyed me.”

“You blame others for your mistakes.”

“You truly know nothing. I fought for this country. I was favored of your grandfather. I was once a general, but that title I lost, thanks to your family.”

“And yet, it was my family that gave it to you. How can you stake claim over something that was never yours to begin with?”

“It
was
mine. Years of service, and one mistake cost me almost everything. It was not even my mistake, it was your grandfather’s. He would not release the Hebrews when they asked. He challenged a God. Then he decided to try to punish them as they fled. How could I defeat a God that can open up the seas and create a road between its waves? I chased the Hebrews that day, I followed my orders, and everyone in my regimen except me perished. An entire army destroyed. As the waves crashed in, I found myself washed up on the other side with
those
people. They said to never forget that their God had spared me and to help my people see His mercy. I did not understand. My entire life had been helping my country. I survived to find myself stripped as a general and back as a troop commander, and
that
only because of Amenhotep III’s favor of my past deeds. Otherwise, I would have been killed. I was given the blame. When your father decided to part from Amenhotep’s ways, I was more than happy to help him and leave this place. It is not Akhenaten that is cursed, it is here. And here we are again. Well this time I will lead this nation and
not
make the mistakes of
your
family. Kemet will be great again.”

“Yet I am also your family. How can you say that? Did you care nothing for your daughter?”

That stopped him. He had been pacing during his speech, but now he stood stock still.

“This is no longer about her. This is about you and your treachery. Your father’s blood is too thick in you. Why can’t either of you just listen for once?”

I pointed to Amyntas. “Let him go. Your quarrel is with me, not him.”

“But he knows of the tale. He could still tell others of the anarchy you invite in. The people would see this as another revolution from Akhenaten’s line.” Ay’s voice had calmed somewhat, but it still trembled gently. He sat behind a desk of cedar wood and ivory inlays.

A thought came to me in a rush like waves slapping against the coastline, cold and harsh. I had but one option left. “Let him go, and I will be your wife. You can have the crown, and I will offer no resistance. Just let him live.”

“Again, your options are too simplistic. No, Amyntas must be banished. He can no longer walk these lands, and you will be stopped from ever seeing him. And then I will finish what was started in Akhenaten.”

He was not talking about banishing Aten. He was talking about the city’s survivors.

“You obviously do not know Amyntas’ people. He was raised by Djhutmose and
his
people.”

“What do you think you are threatening me with?” Ay looked down at Amyntas, “If he is of that God, then surely he would not have been caught. His God would have protected him.”

“Or perhaps my plan was not God’s plan. Do you wish to bring down His wrath by sending Amyntas out to find Djhutmose’s people, bringing them back here?”