The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) (20 page)

“I will…but not yet.” I moved on her with more deliberation, watching her face and listening to her gasps and sounds as I tried to determine just which of my movements felt the best for her. It was only a few seconds until I had it and then I could let my mouth go back for more of the kisses that I craved. She moaned into my mouth and I knew she was getting close. Already, I could play her like a finely tuned instrument made just for me.

I let my hand caress her breast, pulling and tugging on the taut little nipple as I moved the head of my dick against her clit again and again, our clothes soaking with her wetness; I wanted to rip them from between us.

Every one of my senses was assaulted. The feel of her skin beneath my hands, how she tasted on my tongue, hearing her sounds, the scent of her perfume and arousal, the passion in her features…it was almost more than I could bear. I was gasping for breath against her mouth and wondering if I’d be able to stop myself from coming right along with her. I felt my balls tighten and my stomach clench when finally she arched against me. Julia cried out my name in a soft moan, raking her hands down my back. It hurt, but I wanted more because it meant I could give her pleasure like she’d never experienced. My heart was ready to burst when she breathed my name again.

I stilled against her so I could get control of my body just in time to stop my release, but continued to kiss her. “Mmmm…I love seeing you like this. It’s stunning. I’ve fantasized about it so,
so
much, but nothing compares to being with you,” I breathed against her forehead and moved to kiss her temple. She lifted her head off the pillow, reaching toward my face so that she could run a series of feather kisses along my jaw.

“I love you,” she sighed against my skin. Something as simple as her breath rushing over me meant so much; that she was close, that I had satisfied the woman I loved more than life, and that she was content in my arms.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly. She was quiet and I was worried that she was sad or anxious again, but she nodded.

“I’m perfect. You’re incredible. When you touch me, I melt. I’m out of control…completely. I knew it would be amazing with you, but it’s even more than that.”

My heart swelled and I tightened my arms around her. I felt overwhelming love and pride that this incredible woman would love me like that. “Baby…” I breathed into her hair and kissed her mouth lightly. “I want to give you everything, Julia. Everything.”

She raised her eyes to mine and smiled slightly, lightly brushing back the hair that was hanging down on my forehead as I loomed over her. “All I want is
you
,” she said simply and shrugged as her fingers stilled on my cheek. Looking at her face, the seriousness and the serenity in her features, calm spread through me at the obvious truth of her words.

“I’m so lucky.” I bent my head and took her mouth again and again, my body springing to life in renewed desire as I lay on top of her, her gorgeous curves molding perfectly to me, so warm and responsive beneath me.

She pushed on my chest and ripped her mouth from mine. We were both breathing hard and I was afraid I was crushing her and I instantly lifted myself up off of her. “Did I hurt you, honey?”

“Uh uh. I just want to take care of you now. Can I taste you?” She ran her tongue from the base of my neck toward my ear and sucked the lobe into her mouth. Her words were so sexy; my cock turned to granite and throbbed in response. Her teeth nibbled a little before her mouth moved up and she whispered in my ear, her breath causing shivers to run through me. “Do you want my mouth on you, Ryan?”

My head fell back and I closed my eyes.
She did not just say that, did she?

“More than anything.”

She smiled seductively at me and bit her lip as she peeled my silk pajama bottoms over my hips and down my legs.

“Okay. Then…let me.” She pushed me back further until I was sitting on the couch and she was kneeling between my legs, her hands moving up my chest and back down again, across my naked hips and down my thighs. Her touch left a blazing trail of fire on my skin and it was all I could do not to pull her up on my lap and thrust into her body. Only the anticipation of what she was promising to do held me still and waiting. I was barely breathing as her eyes bore into mine.

“You know how much I love you, right?” I asked her seriously. She bent to kiss the top of my thigh, her hair tumbling around her face and raining like silk on my lap.

“Mmm, huh. I know, Ryan,” she whispered against me as her mouth moved up across my hipbone and on to the muscles of my stomach, which contracted involuntarily in response. Her breath was hot and I couldn’t help how my body throbbed and twitched toward her mouth. Her mouth opened and she sucked on the skin below my navel, her chin grazing my length.

“God, babe,” I breathed. “You’re going to kill me. It’s such delicious torture.”

Her fingers splayed out on my chest dragging down my body and she pressed her forehead where her mouth had just been and her hands finally raked down my thighs. Shudders went through my entire body as her tongue ran around the head of my cock and she kissed it, sucking on the tip slightly. My breath left me in a rush as I felt the pre-come seep out the tip. I wondered if she could taste it.

“Uhgnnn, Julia. Oh, Christ,” I groaned at the delicious feeling of her hot little mouth on me.

I’d had a lot of head in my life, probably more than I should be proud of, but this was
Julia
.
My
Julia. The one woman who I held in reverence and she was taking me into her mouth. I wanted to see the magic she was giving me, so I gathered her hair up in my hands and lifted it away from her face so that I could watch. It was the most erotic sight I’d ever seen.

Her hands grasped me around the base of my cock and the sight of her pink lips around me, along with the sensations of her licking and sucking, were more than I could take. I felt the pressure building too quickly and I wanted this to last. For being inexperienced, she was incredibly adept and had me trembling and writhing in minutes. It was all I could do not to thrust deeper into her mouth.

As if she read my mind, she moaned as her hand and her mouth worked together, bobbing up and down on me as she found her rhythm and taking me in as deep as she could. When I felt the back of her throat on the head, I almost came instantly. I sucked in my breath and put my hand on her shoulder to still her.

“Julia, stop. I can’t take it, honey. Stop or I’m going to come and I don’t want to yet.” The words ripped from my chest in a guttural groan. “Uhhnnn, God.
Stop
!”

Her head popped up and she looked at me, but her hands were still on me, pulling gently.

“Honey, please, stop. I want to make love with you, to be inside your body, so
stop
.” It was all I could do not to spill into her hands, and I reached down, my hands finally closed around her wrists to stop her movements and pull her forward and up to me. I let go of her hands and slid mine around her body, under her legs and lifted her so that she was straddling my lap. Her perfect breasts bounced at eye level as she settled over me, her eyes languid and her hair was in wild disarray from my play in it.

“I love it when you beg,” she teased breathlessly, a wicked smile dancing on her beautiful mouth.

“You’re so gorgeous,” I murmured as I pushed her hair back off of her face and curled my hand around the back of her head, while my thumb caressed her jaw. Her eyes were full of desire, the lids half closed and her glistening mouth had fallen open. I itched to touch every inch of her so I let my other hand slide underneath the t-shirt she was wearing, over her hip and up the side of her ribs, to the side curve of her breast. My thumb brushed across her nipple and although it was already a hard little button, it grew even more beneath my touch. She gasped and a low moan escaped. Never had I imagined that she would be so openly abandoned to my lovemaking and so wanton.

I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life
.

The hand around her neck gently pulled her head down toward me as I lifted my face to ghost her mouth with mine. “Ryan…” she whispered and it was my undoing.

“Say it again, my love.”

She leaned into me to kiss me harder, grinding her hips against mine, the delicious heat where we touched, burning us both alive. “Uh…Ryan,” she moaned into my mouth.

I couldn’t take anymore…I wanted to see her body, to feel her skin on mine. My hands slid down to her hips again, pulling her forcefully to me. I needed her to feel how hard I was, how much she was affecting me and I showed her with my hands how I wanted her to move against me. She ground into me over and over, her hips moving in small circles as both of my hands slid up her body, underneath the shirt.

I lifted her arms so I could slide it from her, wadded it up in a ball and threw it aside. I wrapped one arm around her waist and cupped her left breast in the other, dropping my head so I could lave the nipple and finally suck it into my mouth, flicking it over and over with my tongue, her sounds of pleasure urging me on. Her skin was hot and delicious beneath my mouth and I was starving for more. She kept moving on my body and I could tell by her reactions she wanted me as much as I wanted her. The heat pooling between her legs was so much that I felt the wetness through her panties.

Her movements excited us both and I had to be inside her or die.

I lifted her and hooked the edge of the lace with my thumb and pulled them down, placing open mouth kisses below her navel as I panted against her skin. She lifted her hips to help me and then my fingers found the secret place I wanted to touch. “Honey, you’re so…I want you so much.”

I slid a knee between her thighs, my weight sinking into the cushions of the couch. Julia willingly spread them wide for me as I surged against her, easily sliding against her until I slipped inside, filling her to the hilt. Her tight heat surrounding me felt amazing, the sensation shaking me to the core. I dropped my forehead to hers as I started to move inside her, my strokes slow, long and deep. I wanted her mouth on mine…I wanted to make love to her with everything I had and have her shuddering beneath me and around me. I wanted her to feel every inch of me as my body staked its claim on hers, the desire to imprint my possession of her stronger than I’d ever felt in my life. I wanted to take this moment with me back to Boston.

I needed her to want me, to love me; needed to hear my name on her lips. I needed Julia with me forever and the emotions welling up inside me were so consuming, I thought I’d completely lose it.

“Julia,” I gasped against her mouth as her breathing increased and she started to make those little mewling sounds that drove me to distraction. I’d grown to need hearing them.

“You are mine.” I kissed her mouth, and she opened to me, pulling my head down and slanting her mouth with mine so our tongues could go deep inside. We were devouring each other until we were both gasping for breath, my body taking her like she was taking me. I was drowning in her, but with no desire to save myself.

She started to spasm around me and she ripped her mouth from mine to bite into my shoulder. It sent me over the edge and I came hard inside her body. I continued to thrust hard against her as my body poured out into hers. “Only mine,” I ground out while I bent to take her mouth again in frantic need to be closer and closer to her. I wanted to possess her body and soul, to own her like she owned me, and I kissed her like I’d never kiss her again, worshiping her mouth with my own. My heart was breaking at the prospect of leaving her and I tried to push the pain down, even as the shudders from my orgasm still racked through me.

She was still lifting her hips to mine, her muscles squeezing around me, milking every drop and every shuddering sensation out of me. Even after I stilled, she was still working around me and it was too incredible for words.

“Uhhh,” she sighed as I looked down upon her flushed face, her chest and cheeks rosy and glowing. Her eyes were closed, but she slowly opened them as I nuzzled her nose and brushed some kisses along the side of her face. “Ryan, you’ve completely wrecked me.” Her voice cracked as she spoke and my heart stopped. “If I wasn’t before, I am now. I didn’t believe it was possible to love you more than I already did…but I do.”

“Julia…” her name felt like a prayer. I closed my eyes against the pain. I wasn’t sure if it hurt because I was leaving her or because of how much I loved her. “You
own
me. I can
never
be with anyone else, I never
want
anyone else…I
only
want you for the rest of my life…” My throat tightened and ached as I struggled to contain the emotions that threatened to break from my chest.

First one, than another tear fell from her lashes, slipping out of the corners of her eyes onto the pillow beneath her head. I bent and pulled her top lip between both of mine and kissed her softly.

I love you so much I can’t even-fucking-breathe.

I closed my eyes against the pain I felt and knew that I would see it mirrored in hers. “Babe, don’t cry, my love. Are you okay?”

Her arms tightened around my shoulders and she locked her legs around my waist. “I’m incredible…but I’m not okay,” she said brokenly. “I’m…too much in love and I’m scared.”

I rolled onto my side and pulled her to me, rubbing little circles on her lower back with one hand. “I’m in love, too. So much, Julia.” She turned her face into my neck and wrapped an arm around my waist. “So why are you afraid?”