The Ghost and The Hacker (Dark Fire Book 3) (15 page)

"
I don't get many things right the first time,

In fact, I'm told that a lot

Now I know all the wrong turns the stumbles,

And falls brought me here

And where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face,

And I know

That I am...  That I am, I am, I am, the luckiest...
"

I'm crying now, too.  There are tears in lots of eyes as we all watch the stage.  Zach doesn't look at our table; his eyes seem hazy and unfocused the whole time, as if he's imagining me.

He sings the entire Ben Folds' song,
The Luckiest,
to me even though he can't give away my location.

The song closes and he lets the notes carry off into nothing.  Just before the crowd explodes, he glances up at our table, then away.  But in that split second, I manage to mouth the words
I love you
for him.  He nods a couple of times, staring at the floor so I know he saw me.

The crowd is going crazy and it's almost two hours before we head home.  We get in his Magnum and Zach pulls me to him and I just hold him tight.  We're not kissing, not touching except our embrace, and it's another perfect moment of peace.

I'm standing in Zach's room, trying to find something to wear to work amongst the clothes hung in his closet when I realize I've basically moved in with him.  Lasagna night was the first night I ever spent with him, in bed, sleeping.  When I admitted the next morning that I've never slept with or
slept with
anyone else, he got a little...excited.

We were lying in bed after the alarm on my cell went off, trying to decide how the morning after should go- that I should get the shower first because I had to get to work, that he would make the coffee while I was in there, that kind of thing.  I got a little bashful when I realized I was naked.  Of course, Zach was ready for the floorshow, his arms behind his head, knowing I would have to walk from my side of the bed all the way around to his in order to get to the bathroom.

"I've never done this before," I admitted.

"Done what?  Taken a shower?  I find that hard to believe," he laughed.

"No...  The morning after...thing.  I've never spent the night with a guy.  Ever."

I also ended up admitting that he'd been my first, most recent, and everything in between.

He ended up in the shower with me, using his mouth to tell me how grateful he was that he was the only man who had ever had the honor.  I didn't want to break the spell so I didn't remind him that it was because I was too busy searching for him.  I was always dreaming of
him
.

After work, I found myself in my apartment only long enough to throw another bag of clothes together, say hello and goodbye to Lucy, and then I was knocking on Zach's door.

Cy answered it and invited me in.  The guy wasn't as hot as Zach, but there wasn't a single guy in Dark Fire who was in any way
unattractive
.  He took the bag from my shoulder and dropped it on the counter while I stood there like a statue.

"Zach went downstairs to pay the delivery guy."

Since I knew you could leave petty cash with the security desk to pay for food, I must have looked confused.

"He insisted.  Plus, I figure he's dropping a few hundred more in the pot for future orders.  Dude just cannot get over the fact that he lives here."  He shook his head and gestured to the couch.  "You play?"

When I looked, there was a guy on the screen about to be shot to death.  That didn't bother me, but I have zero interest in it.  I'm much better at puzzle games.  So I declined and waited, leaning against the counter until Zach comes back.

When he saw me waiting, the biggest, brightest smile lit up his face and he just put the food on the counter and grabbed me by wrist to drag me down the hallway.

"Don't wait up," he called out to Cy.

And then we were back in bed.  I could still smell us on the sheets from the night before.  The bed hadn't been made but I didn't care.  We made love until Cy knocked on the door and told us he was putting the food away and to put some clothes on if we wanted some while it was still warm.

I convinced Zach that one night of cold dinner was plenty and we ended up eating on the couch, Zach attempting to play and eat.  Zach claimed that Cy was going to have to take advantage of his lack of focus in order to beat his score, and Cy openly questioned whether or not Zach actually had a penis since he seemed to be a real pussy.

They both stared at me for a second with the horror of realization, but I just laughed and waved them back to their game.

The next night, I came home from work, stuffed a bunch of outfits into a large suitcase, and knocked on Zach's door.  Same big smile, same exhilaration as Zach towed me down the hall to the bedroom.  We had fast food in the car on the way to FishBowl.

Over the weekend, after I'd done my laundry at his place and folded it into a basket to carry back to my apartment, Zach grabbed my laundry basket and hauled it to his room, taking out some panties and putting them in a drawer with a few other pairs.  I noticed my luggage was empty, put away in the corner of his closet.  The clothes that had been in it were now hung in the closet and put in drawers.

And now it's Tuesday.  I wander into the kitchen where Zach's making coffee for us.  He doesn't have to get up this early, but he does so he can spend the extra time with me.

"I thought you'd be in the shower," he says, handing me a hot cup, doctored just the way I like.  The creamer I like is in his fridge and there's a stash of Raisinettes in the cabinet next to his vintage rootbeer.

"Something occurred to me," I say, taking a sip of coffee.  It's perfect, of course.

"Okay."

"I was wondering when I moved in, exactly."

He loses the happy grin he'd been wearing and puts his mug down.  "I may have been, uh, a little...forward with that."

I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I didn't even notice until this morning when I went looking for my clothes," I murmur into his neck.  "I just wanted to make sure it's what you wanted, too."

"I wanted it so much, I've kinda already talked to Cy about you moving in.  Like for good."

I take a shocked step back.

"Shit.  Sorry.  I shouldn't have just assumed-"

"I can't leave Lucy in the lurch like that, Zach. She can't make rent on her own.  I'm still paying my half even though I'm pretty sure Teddy's there with her most of the time."

Zach pulls me back in against his body.  He's warm, giving off heat through his shirt and flannel pajama pants.  He doesn't wear them in bed, so they smell too fresh, not like
him
.  But they're not for my benefit, they're for Cy's, in case he wanders in.

"What if there was another option?" he asks, running his hands up and down my arms.

We have the kitchen to ourselves for now; Cy's still asleep.  Zach's hands travel down to my ass.

"Well, maybe we could all move into Nicki's place..."

I eye him suspiciously.  "Nicki... Reception Nicki, of Griffin and Nicki, I'm assuming," I say, phrasing it like a question.

"Yeah.  When I moved out overnight, I stayed at her place...  And here's the thing- it's huge.  She lived there all by herself, but there are three rooms, and I've been thinking of selling my house anyway and-" I cut him off.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about...You have a house?  But you might sell it?  And we would all move in together? I don't know what you're saying, Zach..."

I take a step back and he looks flustered.  He can't seem to make the sentence come out right.  I hear Cy's voice from behind me in the hall.

"He's trying to find a way for us all to stay together.  Lucy and me and both of you," he explains, his lips twitching.

"I just don't want to leave you in the lurch either," Zach says to Cy.  "Or have to fight over the big screen," he adds.

Cy turns to me.  "And he never told you that he's paying half the rent on your apartment, did he."

I close my eyes and wonder, when I open them, will the whole room stop spinning?

"You're paying half the rent here, a mortgage, and half
my
rent?  I'm only paying a quarter of the normal rent for that apartment?"  I'm probably shaking, my adrenaline is pumping and my mind is whirling.

"Well, no...  I own the house outright.  I only pay the taxes.  But I don't care about the money, Sarah.  I only want
you
.  I want to be with you, wherever you want to be.  So I'm asking you:  What do you want to do?"

If he'd said anything else, I probably would have been mad.  But he asked me, which is what I've been begging him to do all along.  How can I be mad about that?

Easily,
part of me argues. 
He never told you about paying your rent
.

"I need to tell Lucy.  She needs to know that the apartment is twice as expensive as we thought," I say, rubbing my head.

"Actually, she already knows," Cy volunteers.

"What?" Zach and I both ask, our words tumbling over each other.

"I saw her downstairs while she was flirting with Teddy and she outright asked me if Zach was paying part of your rent.  She put together how Zach got you the apartment and filled it with furniture and then she probably just asked Teddy what the monthly rent is for her apartment.  She's pretty smart..."

The implication being that I'm not?  I ball up my fist and smack him in the hip.  It's not hard, but it gets my message across.

"Dude, did you just call my girlfriend dumb?"  Zach looks flabbergasted, but I can read between the lines.  He's just messing with Cy.

"Yup.  I'm an asshat.  So now you have a perfect excuse to move into Sarah's apartment.  Lucy can take your old room if she wants; I don't care.  I'm never here."

"You are not allowed to sleep with my best friend," I tell Cy, my stern face on.

He crosses his heart, pretends to poke himself in the eye, and then swallows the key.  It makes no sense whatsoever, but I get what he's saying.

"I'll ask her."

"My money says she's waiting for you to announce that you're moving," Cy says, moving to the coffeemaker and pouring himself a cup.

I glance at the coffeemaker clock and jump.  "Shit!  Work!  I have to go!"

Zach walks with me to the bedroom and into the bathroom.  "I didn't mean to drop this on you when you have to rush out the door," he says, running his finger over my lower lip.

"I know.  The conversation was going to happen sooner or later."  I pull my shirt off and drop it to the floor.  Next, I drop my panties and sleep shorts to the floor, then continue.  "Since Lucy knows about the rent thing and is waiting for me to move, I'm guessing the next time I go back, I'm in for the third degree."

I step into the shower and Zach just stands there watching until I disappear behind the shower curtain.

"I'm getting a clear shower curtain," Zach says roughly.

"Oh?"

"Yes."

Then I hear the door open and close and he's gone.  I finish my shower as quickly as possible and rush off to work.

At lunch, I meet Lucy at a place that does nothing but salads.  We have our plates in front of us when I open with, "So you know about Zach and the rent, huh?"

She nods like it's no big deal.

"It doesn't bother you?"  I try to swallow a bite of salad as casually as possible.

"Sarah, I figured it out around the same time you told me Mr. Europe was actually Zach.  Teddy was bitching about how he can't afford to live in the same building he works in and I asked him how much a one bedroom would go for.  And yeah.  We couldn't even afford
that
, so when I saw Cy, I asked.  I figured Zach's best friend would know, and if you didn't know, it's because you've been too busy being in love with your soul mate."

"Soul mate?"

"Yes, Sare.  He's your soulmate.  You found each other despite everything.  Fate can't keep you apart.  Nothing can.  Not time.  Not even knowing that being together could be disastrous.  That's a soul mate thing," she explains.  I watch her take a series of quick, tiny bites of salad.