The Girl Who Fell to Earth (24 page)

That old, nameless urge rose into an ache in my chest. It was an almost hysterical desire to be beamed up with the passing lights, to disappear like some crazed Heaven's Gate fanatic. I grasped for a view of myself, trying hard to get the scheme of things. What I needed most now was to reach escape velocity from myself. I'd already left the orbits of Ma and Baba before I felt the effects of their gravity, of their influence. In fact, neither of their worldviews made sense to me at all; they were just a couple of grand delusions in a universe of chaos and pure chance. Neither Ma's pragmatic ideals of manifest destiny nor Baba's deep belief in the precision of Allah's intention offered any comfort as I sat there quivering on the mount in the middle of my identity crisis. I had been shaped by these opposing polar forces, but I wasn't governed by them anymore, and it took climbing a holy mountain I'd never planned to summit before I could understand that.

My longing to ride up with the lights dissipated as the orbs seemed to dislocate from the craft and fly off, radiating different colors in all directions. A few others saw them but seemed less impressed; intakes of awed breath rippled briefly across the crowd before they turned back to the main event: sunrise. As it rose, the sun dissolved the shadows from the cliffs and trenches all around us. When the others began their descent, I stayed behind a little while. I felt dizzy, hoping deliriously for another display of lights.

That was when I grabbed at the earth to catch myself, like waking from a falling dream. I didn't care anymore where I came from or where I was going; all I wanted was to be on my way. After all, the universe, this planet, my two homelands, and even I would come undone. From politics to particles, everything that made me in every most profound sense was on a constant, polarizing drift, stretching farther and farther apart.

What were the odds?
I asked myself, and remembered the long night spent in the desert when we were so small. I stayed on a few more minutes, watching in case the unidentified flying object might signal me again from the setting night sky. But when no more came, I got the message. The possibilities of this life were simply too rare and precious to spend another moment or a million light-years floating around weightless and wayward in the wait. I pulled myself up and, taking giant leaps, made my way down the small steps off the mountain.

GLOSSARY

Abaya
—A long cloak-like dress worn by women in the Arabian Gulf. Sartorial cousins to the floor-skimming garments of Batman, Darth Vader, and Neo.

Accesswarat
—English-Arabic pidgin for barrettes, hair ribbons, and other accessories.

Ajera
—A large club with a knob on the end for clobbering (see Fred Flintstone).

Asha
—Dinner (also refers to evening prayer).

Athan
—The call to prayer.

Berga
—Bedouin face veil with a vertical thread hung between the eyes; not to be confused with the burkas of Afghanistan.

Bowab
—Doorman to residential buildings in Egypt; equivalent to a super in a New York City apartment.

Burra!
—Get out! Scram!

Djinn
—A genie closer in look and character to a gremlin than to Robin Williams.

Dukkan
—Bodega, corner shop, minimart, superette.

Fajer
—Dawn (also refers to morning prayer).

Fatiha
—The opening verse of the Quran.

Film Hindi
—When a minor drama spirals into a major show of emotional pyrotechnics.

Garumba
—An affectionate name for a dilapidated car. English synonyms: beater, jalopy, rattletrap.

Gutra
—Male headdress.

Halal
—Permissible foodstuff or activity.

Halawa
—Body wax often prepared in the home. Ingredients vary from country to country; however, almost all recipes consist of sugar, lemon juice, and a liberal dose of de Sade.

Hawli
—Get down/out/off!

Hijab
—Your common garden-variety veil.

Imam
—leader of prayer in a mosque.

Jalabiya
—Loose-fitting indoor dress of women in the Gulf, not to be confused with the Egyptian galabiya; similar in function to a muumuu.

Kaaba
—The black cuboid building Muslims pray toward.

Kepsa—
Fine Bedouin cuisine.

Khalas
—Enough!

Khaleeji
—Adjective to describe something of or from the Arabian Gulf.

Khayal
—Shadows/imaginings.

Kuss umak ahmar
—Mighty swear meaning “Your mother's cunt is red.”

Maghreb
—Dusk (also refers to sunset prayer).

Majlis
—Men's parlor.

Masha'Allah
—God made it so (used to express awe or to rebut a compliment to avoid accidentally giving something the evil eye).

Mashrabia
—Carved woodwork usually placed over a window; historically used to allow women to look out of the harem but no one to look in.

Mawwāl
—Arabic song introduction during which the vocalist pronounces vowels for longer than usual.

Moda—
The fashion. If something is
Al-Moda
it's in style.

Niqab
—A common type of face veil.

Oud
—Sandalwood.

Qasida (s.) / Qasaid (pl.)
—Traditional Arabic ode in tripartite structure.

Rakat
—Units of prayer.

Shaabi
—Adjective meaning “folk,” or sometimes “street.”

Shadafa
—Bidet-like spray hose found in most Middle Eastern toilets.

Shahada
—The Muslim declaration of witness that there is no God but God and Mohamed is his prophet.

Shala
—Long black scarf worn by women in the Gulf to cover their hair and
boofs
.

Shaytan
—Devil.

Saksuka
—Goatee.

Simsar
—
Egyptian slang for real-estate agent.

Sirwal
—Underwear.

Souq
—Marketplace.

Thobe
—Men's long white dress worn in the Gulf region.

Ya ain ya layl
—A common Arabic phrase used to introduce a poetic narrative and in music to provide the base from which to improvise the entrance into a song.

Yalla
—Come on! A phrase commonly shouted by extras in Hollywood films depicting Arabic-speaking rabble.

Yawm Al-Qiyamah
—Judgment Day.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Love to my mother and father and sister and siblings and family and tribe for being the rich and loving quarry from which this book was mined.

I owe the existence of this book in particular to these three people:

Michael Vazquez, Shumon Basar, and Peter Webber.

Thanks to
Bidoun
magazine for the years they helped me try out and refine ideas, Deena Chalabi for being a second brain when I needed one, and Wassan Al-Khudhairi for all her support.

Thank you to my agents, Kevin Conroy Scott and Sophie Lambert, who offered advice and space and fought for more time whenever it was needed. Also, to my surrogate Gulfie Qabila, who are a constant inspiration: Amal Khalaf, Fatima Al-Qadiri, Hamida Al-Kuwari, Talal Obeid, Manal Al-Dowayan, Rana Jubara, Khalid Al-Gharaballi, Fatima Al-Mostafawi, Sheyma Buali, Mohamed Al-Ibrahim, the Al-Humaidi sisters, Aziz Al-Qatemi and Abdulla Al-Misnad.

Thanks to Chris Kyung for the beautiful map. Love to the Sulkosky fort and the Carmichael base. A big thank-you to everyone who read, gave notes, edited, or listened to me moan, from the earliest scraps of the proposal to the final drafts: Jaime Tung, Malak Helmy, Ben Robinson, Marika Lyandysu, Alexander Provan, Simeon Roos-Evstes, Anand Balakrishnan, Philip Chaffee, and Lena Tutanjian. A major debt is owed to Her Excellency Sheikha Al Mayassa Al Thani for making many of my abandoned dreams come true quite by chance.

And finally, to Sensei for keeping his Secret so well.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

SOPHIA AL-MARIA
is an artist, writer, and filmmaker. She studied comparative literature at the American University in Cairo, and aural and visual cultures at Goldsmiths, University of London. Her work has been exhibited at the Sharjah biennale, Art Dubai, the New Museum in New York, and the Architectural Association in London. Her writing has appeared in
Harper's
,
Five Dials
,
Triple Canop
y, and
Bidoun
. She works at Mathaf: Arab Museum of Modern Art in Qatar, where she researches Gulf futurism.

 

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COPYRIGHT

Cover design by Milan Bozic

Cover Illustrations © Christopher Kyung

This is a work of nonfiction. The events and experiences I have detailed herein have been faithfully rendered as I remember them and as they have been told to me. In some places, I've changed the names, identities, and other specifics of individuals who have played a role in my life in order to protect their privacy.

THE GIRL WHO FELL TO EARTH
. Copyright © 2012 by Sophia Al-Maria. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

Map on page ii by Christopher Kyung.

FIRST EDITION

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

ISBN 978-0-06-199975-8

Epub Edition © DECEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780062098740

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