The Girlfriend (Single Wide Female in Love, Book 2) (12 page)

I shrieked with happiness. There was no one in my apartment to hear it, but I imagined if there were, they would have shrieked with me. I felt like I had been completely transformed from the night before. I knew what I wanted and I was going to take it. I was so excited that I had to tell someone.

I called Stephanie.
 

“Hello?”

It sounded like I’d woken her up.
 

“I’m sorry, Stephanie, I know it’s early, but I have to tell you something.”
 

“What is it? Are you okay?”
 

“I’m great! I feel good again for the first time in a long time.”
 

“Wait. Why?” She sounded more awake.
 

“Because I made a decision.”
 

“A decision?”
 

“I made a plan.” I could barely restrain my glee.
 

“What kind of plan?”
 

“All of this time I’ve been fretting about when Max would propose to me when all I really need to do is take matters into my own hands.”
 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m going to propose to him!”
 

“What? No, you can’t do that!”
 

“Oh, Stephanie, you can’t be that old-fashioned. Women do it all the time now. Why should I have to wait for him to make the move? He’s told me that he loves me, that he’ll always love me, so why shouldn’t I propose to him?”
 

“Samantha, I hear what you’re saying, but I think that you’re going to regret it.”
 

“So you think he’ll say no?” Her response hurt. I thought she would be as excited as I was. For her to act as if Max would turn me down just reminded me of the fact that Max could have his pick of women.
 

“Of course he won’t say no. He loves you. But I think that you should think this through. I mean, taking that opportunity away from a man is a huge deal.”
 

“I hadn’t really thought of it as taking the opportunity away.”
 

“Think about it. When it comes to marriage, men really only get the proposal. The bride plans the ceremony and chooses the date in most cases, and she tends to be the focus of the wedding. The proposal is the only part that a groom gets entirely to himself as a way of declaring his love.”
 

“It sounds like you’ve thought a lot about this,” I said.
 

“I haven’t really. But I’ve never enjoyed the proposals where women get on one knee. I mean, I understand that women should be just as free to propose, but give the man a chance!”
 

“I have given him a chance. He was supposed to propose on our anniversary, but he didn’t.”
 

“He was only supposed to because you thought he would. Max isn’t going to propose until he’s ready. I just feel like your asking him before he is will be rushing things.”
 

“Wow, I really thought that you would have my back on this, Stephanie. I have to say I’m surprised.”
 

“I always have your back. I just want you to have what you want. I think what you want is for Max to propose to you. Sure, you can pop the question and he will say yes, but won’t you always wonder how he would have done it? How things might have happened if you’d been patient?”
 

I was annoyed. I could hear the honesty in Stephanie’s voice. I knew she was trying to be a good friend, but what I really wanted was for her to cheer me on and think that it was a great idea. I didn’t want any pesky logic messing up my plan.
 

“I’m tired of waiting. I want to move on to my life with Max, not just seeing Max here and there, but every morning—and every night. I mean, there’s still a wedding to plan.”
 

“I know what you’re saying, but you need to take a breath and calm down. Max hasn’t given you any reason to think that he’s not going to propose.”
 

“He hasn’t given me any reason? How about our one-year anniversary coming and going?”

“Samantha, you thought he was going to propose then, but maybe he just wants to surprise you. Maybe he wants to do it when you won’t expect it.”
 

“I have it all planned out. It will be perfect. I’ll make it memorable.”
 

“But you will always remember having to do it. I know you, Samantha. A part of you will still doubt. You will start torturing yourself. You will wonder if Max would have asked you, how he would have asked you, whether he resents you for asking. I mean, there are so many things that could go wrong.”
 

“Stephanie, if you think it’s a terrible idea, just tell me that. You don’t have to beat around the bush about it.”
 

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate. Sometimes I get all wound up about something and don’t think it through.”
 

“Alright, alright. I’ll think about it.” I frowned.

Chapter 27

I hung up the phone and began to pace. I’d planned to go down to the jewelry shop and pick Max out a ring. I wanted to have something to give him when I asked him to marry me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it might not be the best way to start things out with us.

I hadn’t even really considered the possibility that he could say no. I just wanted it to be done. I wanted to move things forward. But would I be moving them backward instead? Was it possible that I could cause irreparable damage?

All morning I’d been so certain of what I wanted to do, and now all of that was out the window again. Stephanie hadn’t reacted the way I expected she would at all. Now I was feeling a bit nervous that there could be consequences to my being the one to propose.
 

I decided that I would still go through with the couples massage. Max and I needed a day together to reconnect, no matter how it ended. I would wait until after to decide whether or not I would go through with the proposal. Even though Stephanie had made some good points, I wasn’t ready to give up on the idea yet.

I was sure it was what Zara—one of my favorite characters from my new book series—would do. Life wasn’t about waiting, it was about seizing the day.

Of course all of this would be a surprise to Max. I left the apartment to meet him. He only had an address. He had no idea what was in store for him.

When I reached the small office space, Max waved to me from the front door.
 

“Hi, gorgeous. Ready to tell me what this is about?”
 

“You’ll see.” I smiled at him. “I know you’ve been wanting some attention and I’ve had my nose buried in my computer, so I planned a special surprise for us.”

“I like the sound of that.” Max gave me a quick kiss. “But this is where it is?”
 

“Yes, let’s go in.”
 

I opened the door and we stepped into the heady scent of vanilla candles. The lights were dim. Despite the fact that we were in the middle of the city, the sounds of the rain forest surrounded us. On the floor was a thick massage mat along with a basket of an assortment of oils.
 

“Oh wow, this is a surprise.” Max grinned.

I noticed there was only one mat. I thought couples massage meant we were massaged at the same time.
 

“Hello?” I called out. I wondered if the massage had been so cheap because I only ordered a single massage by mistake. I hoped I could straighten things out before my plan for the day got ruined.
 

“Is someone supposed to be here?” Max looked around the room. “I don’t think anyone else is here.”
 

Max was right. The office space was small. The only door led to a tiny bathroom. There was nowhere for anyone to be hiding. My aggravation started to increase. I wanted everything to be special. Instead it was a disaster.
 

“Just give me a second Max. I’m sorry.” I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I had called to order the massage.
 

“Hello?”
 

“Hello, this is Samantha. I ordered a couple’s massage—for right now.” I stumbled over my words as I became more and more flustered.
 

“Hi, Samantha. Is there a problem?”
 

“Uh, yes.”
 

“Is the music on? Did you find the basket?”
 

“Well, yes, and yes, but where are you?”
 

“Me?”
 

“Yes, you.”
 

“Oh, Samantha, I’m not included.” She laughed. “That’s a different kind of service.”
 

“I’m sorry, what?” Now, not only was I flustered, I was confused.
 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I think you’ve misunderstood.”
 

“What did I misunderstand?”
 

“The couple’s massage doesn’t come with a masseuse. I provide the space, set the mood, and provide the supplies. Then you massage each other.”
 

“That’s nonsense. I’ve never heard of anything like this.”
 

“I understand. It’s a new concept. So far everyone who has tried it has really enjoyed it. I think if you give it a shot you might find that the intimacy is much more intense when you are the only two people in the room.”
 

I hung up the phone before I could say anything that might get me arrested. I didn’t order a couple’s massage so that we could massage each other. We could have done that at home for free if we wanted to.
 

“I’m sorry, Max.” I turned toward him only to discover that he was already sprawled out on the cushion.
 

“Sorry for what?” He lifted his head to look at me. “This is great.”
 

“There’s no masseuse. Apparently we’re supposed to massage each other. I knew the price was too good to be true.”
 

“Sammy, this is beautiful. I’d love the opportunity to massage you and to have you massage me. Why don’t we just make the best of it?”

He sat up and pulled his shirt off. “Mind if I go first?”
 

I smiled at the sight of him. I didn’t mind at all.
 

“Doesn’t it seem weird, though?”
 

“Yes. It does.” He stood up and dropped his pants.
 

“Max!”
 

“What?” He acted innocent as he dropped back down on the mat.
 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I looked down at him sprawled across the mat in only his boxers. I couldn’t help but see how beautiful he was. But more than that, he was at my whim. That made me feel powerful and nervous at the same time.
 

“Yes. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my afternoon.” He laughed and gazed up at me. “Don’t you want to massage me?”
 

“Yes. Yes, I do.” I picked up one of the oils and sat down on the floor beside him. As I began rubbing along his arm, he smiled at me.

“I love your touch. It’s so gentle and sensual at the same time.”
 

“It is?”
 

“Yes. Even before we were together I loved the way you touched me. It would cause this strange spark inside me.”
 

My eyes widened at his words. I had felt the same spark each time we touched. I began to relax. My hands ran smoothly from his arm and up over his shoulders.
 

“Oh, that feels good, thanks.”
 

My heart fluttered. It felt wonderful to know that I was doing something he enjoyed.

Chapter 28

I found myself getting more and more comfortable. I shifted my body so that I was straddling Max. It was something I never would have done in the past, as I would tell myself that I would crush him. Under my fingertips, I could feel his every muscle and the warmth of his skin. I knew that he was much stronger than I gave him credit for.
 

“You’re so tense here.” I rolled the heel of my palm along the curve of his shoulder.
 

“I’ve been a little stressed.” He spoke so quietly that I almost missed his words.
 

“Because of me?”
 

“Because I wanted to know what was going on with you. I still do.” He turned his head enough to look up at me. “Are you ready to talk to me about it yet?”
 

“Everything’s fine.” I felt his muscles twitch beneath my touch. I realized that my vague response had a direct impact on him. “I mean, you know me, Max. I just always have all of these insecurities.”
 

“That’s not true. You’ve dealt with so many of those over the past year. We all have some, Sammy. It’s okay to be afraid. Just tell me if that’s what it is.”
 

I smiled and ran my hands down along the slope of his back. I was dazzled by him. I had never felt so attracted to a man before.
 

“Maybe I am a little.” In the candlelight, the soft music, and with his skin gliding under my fingers, I felt safer speaking the truth. “I’m just scared that you’re going to wake up and realize that you made a mistake one day.”
 

Max turned over under me. It was a little surprising, to say the least. He slid his hands up over my hips to keep me from toppling over.
 

“Sammy, if that’s what all of this is about then tell me how I could prove to you that’s not going to happen. Just tell me, and whatever it is, I’ll do it.”
 

I stared at him for a moment. The words were on the tip of my tongue. I could propose right then in the candlelight. He couldn’t get away. I had him pinned against the mat. Then I remembered what Stephanie had said about taking away his moment.
 

“I just need to know it’s forever.” I frowned. “I know that’s not fair to you—that there’s no way for you to prove that to me. But that’s the truth.”
 

“Okay, I think it’s your turn.”
 

I expected an argument. I expected him to try to prove to me that it would be forever. Instead, it seemed as if he was more interested in getting me on the mat. I wondered if I’d pushed him too far by asking him for forever. I started to lie down on the mat.