The Glorious Becoming (57 page)

She lowered herself in his desk chair. “I made sure to drop the hint to Ju`bajai when I left that I knew her secret, too. For whatever reason, I think she’ll make contact with me again.”

“But what if she’s not an IC? What if you just confused the heck out of her when you called her a liar?”

“Scott,” she said quietly, yet confidently, “she’s an IC. I just know.” She played with her hands. “I’ve intrigued her, at least enough for her to allow me into Confinement when she knows I’m working undercover. She’s allowing me to betray the staff there. To what end, I don’t know. But from everything I’ve heard, ICs are notoriously untrustworthy. I don’t think it’s a stretch that she’d willfully deceive her captors.”

It was that trust part that bothered Scott. “Esther, what if you can’t trust
her
?”

“I know. It’s a risk. But what part of this operation isn’t? Ju`bajai is a wild card, but she might be the card that wins me the hand. What I know for certain is that she’s in control. I can’t connect to her—she has to initiate it with me. I don’t know what to expect.” Reaching behind her head, she rubbed the back of her neck. “Can we talk, Scott?”

In four words, she had his undivided attention. Looking across at her, he instinctively pushed up from the wall, as if ready to meet her in the middle of the room. When she didn’t match him, he stood still. “Absolutely,” he said as compassionately as possible. “You know you can talk to me.”

She breathed a smile’s worth of laughter. Raising an eyebrow and asking in the most Esther-like manner possible, she asked, “Oh
can
I?”

It wasn’t meant as a slight. Just a small, well-intended poke at his hypocrisy. Offering a soft, sheepish chuckle, he nodded. “Yeah. You can.”

Lowering her head, she spoke thoughtfully. “Scott...” His name hung for several seconds. “I didn’t mean to do what I did.”

Canting his head, Scott listened.

“To challenge how you felt.” She eased her head up just enough to look at Nicole’s picture. It was on his nightstand, just as it had been in his room at
Novosibirsk
. “About Sveta and Nicole.”

Scott immediately caught Esther’s choice of words. Sveta. Esther
never
called Svetlana that.

The scout shook her head. “I know how much you love them both.”

“Ess...”

Her gaze traveled from Nicole’s photograph to the floor in front of the chair. Hands playing with one another, she almost looked up at him. “Something has kind of happened.” Scott looked at her oddly, but remained silent. “I guess I’ve had some time to gain a new perspective.” Her mouth hung open, as if she was about to say something else, then stifled the urge. Sighing, she finally regarded him. “Do you really believe everything happens for a reason? Do you think we’re allowed to follow our mistakes if it leads us to something better?”

This, he could answer. This one, in spite of his own all-too-frequent personal confusion, was easy. “Yes, I do. I think sometimes that leads us to places we never even thought we’d go.”

Esther’s lips parted, but she stayed silent.

“Is everything okay?”

Moving her head in sort of a half-shake, as if reflecting on something profound, the scout’s gaze grew distant. Scott could almost sense chill bumps on her arms. “Will you...” She paused, her voice shaking. “Will you pray for me?”

Now, there was no doubt. Whatever was going on under her surface was deep.

“I’m not too keen on prayer,” she said, “but if there is a God, I’d like to think that maybe he’s listening. If not to me, maybe to you.”

Religion was never high on Esther’s list, and he didn’t sense the case was otherwise now. Sparing a sermon, he said simply, “I will.”

Sniffling, Esther nodded. “Thank you, Scott.” She looked at her hands. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay with the Fourteenth. I understand if you say no.”

At that, he had to laugh. “Esther. First off, yes, definitely, absolutely. I never wanted you to leave.” Faintly, she smiled. “But I’ve got to ask, what in the world happened to you?”

She rolled her eyes, a bit defeatedly, then craned her neck. “Scott...”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”

Laughing softly, she said, “No. I’ll tell you.” The scout played with her fingernails. “Two days ago, after me and you got into that fight...” Her words trailed. “Jay took me out.” When Scott’s eyes widened, she said, “Just for a beer. Just here in
Cairo
. I think he wanted to help me.”

Whatever shock Scott was showing on the outside reverberated tenfold on the inside. Esther continued.

“He was everything a woman would ever want. Sweet. Gentle, goofy.” She laughed in a hushed voice. “And genuine, and a gentleman, and everything I’m not. And in my inebriated state, I had the grand idea to kiss him.”

Scott’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“In the year I’ve spent with the Fourteenth, I have
never
been attracted to Jay. Now I can’t stop thinking about him. I was wearing his hat, Scott. I actually want a cowboy hat, now.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I sound ridiculous.”

All at once, Scott was understanding what she’d meant about following mistakes and being led to something better.
He
was the mistake. Was Jayden the something better? Esther and
Jayden
? Really? Scott was putting the cart way before the horse—he had no idea how Jayden felt about Esther—but the prospect was just too fascinating to not get excited about. “Esther, I have to ask,” he said, pointing to himself and her, “are we okay right now?”

Smiling and knowing what he was asking, she looked at him tiredly. “Scott, right now, I’m not attracted to you in the least. Don’t take it the wrong way.”

“I don’t.”

Esther leaned back and sighed. “It just happened so fast. Just out of the blue. And it’s not like I’m just lusting for him. I’m genuinely attracted to...him. The person he is. The comfort he radiates, the...” she motioned with her hands to find the right words. “He makes me want to be better.”

That, more than anything, hit home. Scott’s heart grew warm. “Ess, that’s exactly what Sveta does to me.”

The scout smiled sadly. “I never did that for you, did I?” Scott shook his head. “Ugh. Scott, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, don’t apologize. I want to apologize to you for how I treated you. Probably how I always have.”

Raising an impish brow, she asked, “Probably?”

He laughed goodheartedly. “Okay. How I always have.”

Esther sighed and resumed playing with her hands. “I just really want to approach him right. I want to be,” biting her lips, she huffed an ironic chuckle. The smirk she gave Scott was self-depreciatingly demure. “I want to be for him what Sveta is for you. And if you ever tell Sveta that, I will kill you.”

“I won’t tell her, I promise.”

“She is
still
the ultimate bore. She just happens to be a bore that’s good for you.”

He smiled coyly. “You ought to give her a little more credit than that. You know what she did the morning I left?”

“Packed you mustard, I’m sure.”

Hands on his hips, he confessed. “Okay, yeah. She did. By the way, I gave that mustard to Rockwell, and she loved it.”

“Oh God,” Esther said, “there are two of them. You gave Rockwell
mustard
?”

“Yeah, she gave me champagne, I had nothing else to give her, long story—but anyway. The day before we left, after I talked to you in the gym, me and Sveta kind of got into it. About you, and how the two of you always keep score about everything. Kills, pranks, pies—”

Esther’s lips curved. “I totally owe her a pie.”

“Actually,” Scott said as he raised a finger, “not anymore.” Esther lifted an eyebrow. “She showed up at my door Tuesday morning with a pie in her hand. She made me hit her with it, so that the two of you could be even in something.”

The scout’s jaw fell amusedly. “
Sveta
did that? Are you serious?” When Scott nodded, she leaned her head back and laughed. Snapping her finger and gritting her teeth, she said, “And I missed that? Bloody hell! I hope you got her good.”

“Oh yeah. I got her good.”

“That’s absolutely hysterical. I would have never dreamed she’d be capable of that. Good for her.” She winked. “And obviously, good for you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m probably gonna have to watch my back for the next decade.”

“Oh, yes,” said Esther determinedly. “I will coordinate with her to ensure that you get yours. You have dodged humiliation long enough.”

“Ha. Thanks for that.”

“My pleasure, commander.”

Crossing his feet as he stood, Scott hesitated before asking, “So...do you know if Jayden feels anything?”

The moment he asked it, Esther’s mocha skin tinged red. “I think we might be kind of dating.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I think we might be.”

Scott couldn’t believe it. “You kids work fast.”

“I know, I know.” She looked down. “It’s been crazy. But that’s how it is, right?”

“Absolutely. Nicole and I went from zero to sixty in the span of a soccer game. She was practicing on the field, and me and my football buddies were making fun of them. Then she kicked that ball smack dab in the middle of my face.” Esther cackled. “I chased her down, tackled her, and refused to let her up unless she promised to buy me dinner.”

Esther crossed her arms disapprovingly. “That may be the most chauvinistic, meat-headed thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I did pay for dinner, FYI. But yeah. That was our first date.”

“And to think, you grew up to become a violent, murdering felon.”

Zing.
“Yeah, yeah.”

Silence fell between them. Staring across the room at Esther, Scott took her in. She looked so different now, not just physically, but in the aura she emanated. Her edge, and most certainly her sarcasm, weren’t gone—just the same, she had a glow about her. A glow the size of Texas. Warmly, Scott asked, “Can I tell you something?”

Very slowly, the corners of her lips lifted.

“You deserve him.”

The grin that escaped from Esther was as broad as her face. Every one of her teeth showed. It was as becoming as the girl it was attached to.

Bumping up from the wall, Scott motioned her to him. “C’mere.” Rising happily, Esther met him at the center of his room. Wrapping his arms around her, Scott held her head against his chest. “I’m so happy for you. You know I pull for you.”

“I know,” she whispered, squeezing her arms around his back. “Thank you for putting up with me.”

“You’re worth it.”

Closing her eyes for a moment, Esther let herself be held. Leaning her head back just enough to look him in the eyes, she smiled and said, “Now let’s go save a blonde.”

“Yes ma’am,” Scott said. “Let’s.”

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Scott flinched and leapt back. Esther did the same. The sound of their comms pierced through the room. “Wait,” the scout said, “that can’t be the...”

Grabbing his comm, Scott looked at the display. The moment he saw its origin, his stomach contorted in a knot. It was from
Cairo
Command.

It was a mission.

Eyes widening in horror, Scott threw his comm aside and scrambled for his closet. “Go to your room and get your uniform on!”

“We can’t have a mission! This must be a mistake!”

Auric’s voice emerged through Scott’s comm. “Commander, my comm is showing a mission callout! Is yours?”

“Yes, Auric!”

“That cannot be right—”

Before Scott could answer, Natalie’s voice cut through the Caracal’s channel. “Attention all Caracals, this is your captain! Report to the hangar at once.”

Grunting as he threw his uniform on, Scott dove forward to grab his comm. He queued up the captain. “Nat, this has got to be wrong!”

“It’s not wrong, commander. We have a mission.”

“Ma’am, we’re nowhere near mission shape!”

Her tone was stern. “This is our chance, Scott. I didn’t expect it this soon, either, but now it’s here.”

How could he explain it to her? How could he express how not missionready this unit was? They were sub-Academy! “Captain, I vehemently protest.”

“Scott.”

The tone of her voice told him everything. This mission was happening. Biting his lip, he replied. “Yes, ma’am.” Grabbing his assault rifle, he flung its strap over his shoulder. He slid his sidearm into its holster.

Esther’s comm crackled—Jayden. “Hey! Where are you?”

Answering quickly, she said, “I’m with Scott, I was giving him a report. Go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

Outside, footsteps could be heard taking to the halls. The rest of the Caracals were heading for the hangar. Scott looked at Esther. “Wait for the hallways to clear, then get to your room and transform.” The last thing anyone needed to see was a Calliope-clad Esther leaving his room in the middle of the night. Esther agreed.

He bolted for the door and then took to the halls.

It took all of two seconds for Scott to know they were in trouble—just enough time for him to look at the Caracals’ faces. They were panicked. As soon as they saw him, the collection of nameless Africans flocked to his side. They were like scared children clinging to a parent. He had never seen anything like it before.

As Scott moved down the hall, Auric, Jayden, and Boris took to his side, as well. His entire crew from
Novosibirsk
wore their weapons—a result of not even being officially assigned to specific transports yet. If there was a symbol for how unprepared they and the Caracals were, that fact alone was it. Logan Marshall, ahead of them, slowed for them to catch up. Logan said not a word—he seemed in total battle mode.

“Commander!” Natalie called from behind him. Waving the others onward, Scott slowed for the captain to catch up to him. Her emerald eyes were narrowed as her ponytail danced wildly behind her. “I must confess, I never pegged you for the ‘vehemently protesting’ type.”

Scott’s voice lowered warningly. “Captain, this squad is in zero shape to pull off a mission—
look
at them.”

“A Bakma Noboat just landed on the outskirts of Luxor. Command thinks this is a good opportunity for us. I happen to agree.” She was as irritable as he’d ever seen her. “It’s a single Noboat, Scott,” she snapped as she turned away from him.