The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture (28 page)

If someone says:

• “God has led me to have another child.” Respond to the child part, NOT the god part. “Oh, how exciting. When are you due? Do you know if it is a girl or boy?”

• “My priest asked me to chair the committee to raise funds for the pro-life drive.” Respond to the committee thing, NOT the priest idea. “What kinds of fundraising will you do? Didn’t you raise $2,000 for MS last year? You have a knack for fundraising.”

The more you honor the person and ignore the virus, the better off both of you will be. Think of it as an unconscious game played by the virus, not the person. The game is designed to draw you into an argument so the virus can tell if you are friend or foe. If it determines that you are foe, it will escalate the conflict to try to eliminate you from the relationship.

Some viruses can talk to one another, especially if they are similar. For example, Baptists can talk to Nazarenes and even to Catholics sometimes.
This allows them to create alliances and work together occasionally as we saw in the discussion of the civil religion and meta virus in previous chapters. But god viruses do not know how to communicate with the non-infected. The very presence of the non-infected is perceived as a threat. Catholics may fear Protestants and Mormons may fear Baptists, but they fear the non-infected even more. In sermons on Sunday morning, therefore, you generally hear more vitriol against non-believers than against other religions.

A quick search of sermons on one prominent evangelical site
⁸
found 199 sermons that mentioned or dealt with Atheists; only 50 sermons dealt with “non-believers.” Searching for the word “Mormon” found only 115 references. The evangelical virus is more concerned about Atheists than the cults of Mormonism or Scientology (only 7), or Jehovah’s Witnesses (45). The term “Muslim” barely exceeded Atheists with 214 references. It appears that the evangelicals hate Muslims slightly more than they hate Atheists.

Knowing how much the infected fear non-theists is instructive about how we approach them or they approach us. Imagine a religious conversation between an evangelical and a Muslim. Chances are both will be cautious and, while polite, will perceive vast differences. Evangelicals have an extremely difficult time talking with Muslims as their god virus defines Muslims as the most dangerous enemy of Christ. This same anger, suspiciousness and outright hatred are present with respect to Atheists. Religionists, in general, and evangelicals, in particular, do not have the tools to communicate with the non-believer. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to develop the skills and tools to communicate with them if we want to have a productive relationship or influence.

To exert influence, focus on common interests and goals. DO NOT focus on the god virus. By doing this, you will achieve something and offer a positive non-religious experience. After working with you a while, they will still believe you are going to hell, but at least you can have a productive business partnership or work on a charitable drive together without experiencing conflict or unpleasant interpersonal dynamics. You really don’t care if they continue with their infection, you care that you accomplish a
task or goal.
⁹
By staying focused on the goal, you minimize the power of the god virus to interrupt relationships and cause conflict.

8
SermonIndex.net
,
Promoting Genuine Biblical Revival
[web site on-line] (accessed 22 November 2008); available from
http://www.sermonindex.net/
; Internet.

Fear of death keeps people close to religion. Most non-theists believe that death is the end. Period. When I was a young kid, my pet gerbil died. I asked my mom, “What happens to gerbils when they die?” My mother’s answer was “Only people can go to heaven.” I didn’t believe it for a minute. I knew that god had to put pet gerbils somewhere, maybe into a gerbil heaven. It was clear my mom didn’t know what she was talking about, and it put doubts in my head about other things she might not know.

The first funeral I attended as a child was for the father of my best friend, Scott. His father was a WWII veteran and died of lung cancer at an early age. My father and I attended the graveside ceremony. I was very impressed with the guns they fired at the end, but I thought the minister was stupid. He gave a short talk and told us that Scott’s dad was in heaven. I knew he wasn’t in heaven because my dad told me you had to go to church to get to heaven. Scott’s dad hated churches and never went with Scott’s mother to church on Sunday.

You probably remember the first funeral you attended. What questions did it bring for you? Death brings up the most profound questions. When you conclude that death is the end, you have made the first big step in a non-theist’s journey. It is the single most important step to eliminating the virus from your life.

Now that you know how the story ends, how do you live your life? It is like opening a book full of blank pages, thumbing to the end and finding two words, “She died” or “He died.” Knowing the end, how will you fill in the book? What are the rules for writing your book? What adventures do you want? Who will participate in the adventures? Who will be excluded? It is yours to write! Instead of asking, “Am I serving Jesus today?” You can ask, “Am I doing what I want to live my one life and maximize my contribution while I am here?”

Belief in an afterlife tends to pollute and deeply influence the writing of such a book. How can you concentrate on the “here and now” when your attention keeps getting drawn to something you can’t experience or know? Constant focus on an afterlife creates a phobic condition – fear of death, hell or the unknown. Chronic fear of death is the condition of many people infected by the virus and can lead to neurosis, anxiety attacks, or depression. It leads to constant searching for answers that don’t exist. It is a constant emotional distraction preventing clear thinking and fulfilled living.

9
For more on conflict management, read any good negotiation book. I particularly recommend Dr. Dan Dana’s book,
Managing Differences: How to Build Better Relationships at Work and Home
, (MTI Press, 2005), 274 pages.

Freely and openly acknowledging your own death as the ultimate end is the first step in virus-free living. It is kind of like getting saved, confession and giving your life to Jesus all rolled into one.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

-John 8:32

Knowing this truth takes the virus out of the equation and a huge amount of complications melt away. Living virus-free means you can live your life without looking in the rear view mirror to see if some god or devil is coming after you. You can keep your eyes on the road and make decisions based on current reality without the interference of ever-shifting religious complications.

Death is something religion talks about most and knows the least about. Within the Bible there are 1,610 mentions of death and 580 uses of the word “dead.” The Qur’an has 695 references to death and 527 to dead. This does not count other phrases or synonyms related to death in either book. Death is a very important concept to the Christian, Jewish and Islamic god viruses. Much of the focus on death in these Scriptures relates to fear, terror, punishment, guilt and damnation. Infected persons have had the notion “death = possible damnation” drilled into their head since childhood. It is hard to treat death as a normal part of life when so much fear has been associated with it.

As a non-theist, you have a view that gives you positive power in death and dying situations. Death will inevitably lead to comments or discussion about an afterlife. You can’t control that, but you may be able to mitigate its negative effect. Afterlife discussions often evoke the opposite of what is intended. Instead of consoling, they may create anxiety in the dying and in the living.

If the dying person brings up the subject of an afterlife, simply agree with whatever she says or give a consoling response. Then ask, “What can I do to make you more comfortable?” or, “Tell me more about what you are thinking,” or, “I don’t know what happens after you die, but I am here now to be with you and listen to you.” By listening and staying away from discussing ideas like heaven and hell, you can keep your focus on the person, not the god virus.

One constructive way to be with a dying person is to help him focus on positive events in his life. If he can talk, ask him to tell you stories from his life. If he cannot talk, tell the stories yourself. For example, “Dad, tell me again about that time that you ran from away from grandpa’s mule.” Or “Sally, I remember the time you came to visit us when I was 12 years old. You took me to the amusement park. I can still remember the smell of the hot dogs that day and the cotton candy …”.

The same principles apply to those who are grieving around you. Help them focus on what the dying person gave them, what they loved about the person. It is OK to talk about how they will miss the deceased. If they want to make statements like, “He is in heaven now,” don’t respond to the virus. Respond instead to their sense of relief and comfort. You might say something about how you experienced the person. It might go something like this:

Them: “He is in heaven now.”

You: “I really valued his willingness to always take time to listen to me. I’ll really miss that.”

You don’t have to endorse or respond to their viral ideas to show respect and participate in the grieving process. Stay focused on reality, the here and now, on their life and your own feelings. No one can dispute these.

Death is the most powerful tool of the virus. It has taken our natural fear of the unknown and built that fear into a bonding cycle. Here is how it goes: A person experiences fear of death. He seeks comfort from the fear. A priest or minister comforts him with a fable about life after death and the idea brings relief. But relief comes at the cost of adherence to the viral conditions for the afterlife. Relief may come from reading the Bible, lighting a candle, praying to a saint or putting money in the offering plate. The recommitment gives solace until the next sin, anxiety or guilt event
takes place. Then the person has to do something to assuage the guilt or fear when he is reminded of his mortality. It is a cycle that keeps people bonded to the virus by making it appear that the religion is able to relieve anxiety. Never do they suspect that it is the religion that causes it in the first place through its indoctrination about an afterlife and mortal fear of divine punishment.

Sometimes people facing death vow that if they are saved, they will give their life to the god. When they were “spared” and continued to live, they go on to build churches, start missions and witness to the world about their salvation. Of course, far more die, but we never hear about them. Many more live without making any god-bargains. I wonder what Christians and Muslims think of the man who won $330 million in the lottery in 2007. He made a deal with the gods the week before, “You let me win the lottery and I’ll teach.” Elwood “Bunky” Bartlett credits his winning to his Wiccan faith and the gods.
¹⁰
Looks like his gods are as powerful as the god of other winners who attribute their winning to Jesus or Allah.

Interestingly, the virus wins even when people try to cheat it. Many people have made bargains with a god but failed to keep their promises. They may have promised to give 10% to the church if their child recovered from a life-threatening illness. When they fail to give as they promised, they feel the guilt. This focuses attention back on the virus even if they fail to keep their bargain. If something bad happens to them or their loved one, they think it was god’s punishment for not doing as they promised. If they do as they promised, they feel more bound to the god virus.

Imagine this scene: On a beautiful summer day, you and three friends are enjoying a blissful day boating on the lake when suddenly
an accident happens. Only I see the accident and I am on shore. I am standing on the shore and jump in to help. I manage to rescue only you. The other three drown. I chose you? I feel good that I saved one person but very bad that I could not help the others. How do you feel? You feel incredibly grateful but also guilty that you lived but the others died.

10
Virgil Dickson, "Md. Accountant Must Crunch Numbers No More,"
Washington Post,
3 September 2007, sec. B, p. 03.

Six months later, I call you up to see how you are doing and ask if I can borrow $1,000 to get my car fixed. What will you do? Probably loan me the money out of your sense of gratitude or guilt.

The same is true for the god virus. When you believe the virus saved you or a loved one, you feel grateful and guilty at the same time. You may ask, “Why did he save me and not the others?” “Why did he save my child but not the other children?” Faced with these heart-wrenching questions, the virus traps you into believing the god virus was your salvation. Now the god requires dedication in return for the favor of saving you or your child. In the example of the boating accident, I only asked for $1,000; the god virus asks for a lifetime commitment. I can prove I saved your life. You can’t prove the god virus had anything to do with your salvation.

If I came back in six months and said, “I saved your life and now I would like you to be my lifelong money pit. I expect 10% of your income and 10% of your time. When I need a new roof on my house, I’ll call you.” How would you respond? You would think I was a gold digger, yet I asked nothing more than the imaginary god.