The Hardest Part (27 page)

"
Emily Anderson," I answered. The restaurant was fairly loud so I pressed the phone hard against my ear.

"
And here I thought you were ignoring me," a dark yet familiar voice spoke. In a matter of seconds, it felt like the room dropped twenty degrees. My body went rigid and every hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Blood rushed to my ears, causing a ringing sound, and fear pressed on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

It was Jake. He had found me.

"
I have to say, Emily. You are even more beautiful than I remember. You look simply stunning, but I've always said blue was your color."

My stomach turned and I tried to find a breath. He was here. In the restaurant. Close.

I was too scared to speak, breathe, or move. A tiny voice in the back of my head told me to get up and run, to get out of there while I still had the chance, but I knew I couldn't leave without Reed.

My head remained still, but my eyes stretched right and left, sweeping the room. People were happily enjoying their meals. As my eyes moved around, I couldn't spot Reed or Jake.

"
All these months I've been looking for you. All these months I've been missing you. I've yearned for the moment when I would be able to touch you again." He spoke in a low, quiet tone, and to most, it would be described as sweet, but I knew better. I could hear the underlying anger in it as well.

My mind went to a dark place, remembering all the scariest moments in the last few years of my life. This was definitely the scariest of them all. I knew the consequences of running away from him. I knew what he would do to me when he got me alone. He would kill me.

"
I can't tell you how hard it is right now to be so close and not be able to touch you, to feel your soft skin against my own. It's killing me inside." His voice was still too soft, sweet.

A small whimper finally escaped me and I tried to choke back the tears but failed. They spilled down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away.

"
Don't cry, Emily. Tears have never looked good on you." The softness in his voice had disappeared. Now, all I could hear was pure anger, and I didn't miss the way he pronounced my name with disgust.

There was silence now, but I knew he was still there. I could hear him breathing. I could also hear the noise of the restaurant through the phone. I knew he was near me, maybe behind me. My mind continued to spin with what to do next. Wondering how I was going to get out of here alive and how I was going to get Reed out of here alive. So many things ran through my head
—
run, scream for help
—
but I did nothing. I was frozen in my seat.

"
I know what you're thinking," he said, his voice rough and bitter as ever, "but don't think too much or you may end up getting yourself killed, or even worse. The guy you've been spending so much time with could get a bullet in his head."

It felt like a heavy weight slammed into my chest. I closed my eyes tight to keep the tears contained as another whimper escaped my lips.

"
I can't tell you how much it has hurt me to see you two together. The way he looks at you, the way he touches you—it's been torture. The pain I've been through the last few months doesn't compare to seeing you with another man. I've been trying to think of a way to explain it to you, to explain to you the pain I've experienced, but I think it would just be easier to show you later, when we're alone."

"
Jake, please," I finally whispered. My pleading words were met with an onslaught of tears that I could no longer hold back.

He growled into the phone, aggravated. I could picture what his face looked like right now. His dark, cold eyes would look like pure evil.
"Your voice, it's so sweet, Emily. I've missed it, but you are in no position to make demands. You will listen to me if you want your boyfriend to walk out of here alive, do you understand? Believe me. You don't want him to have the same fate as Mike."

Mike? Oh God, what happened to Mike?

"
Please, Jake, I'll do anything. Just leave him alone." I sniffed, knowing his threat was real. I would do anything if it meant sparing Reed's life, or anyone else's that I cared about.

"
I was hoping you would say that. Now, you need to listen to me very carefully so you don't cause a scene. Get up slowly and make your way to the rear exit door, next to the bathrooms. I'll meet you there in two minutes." He paused for a moment. "And don't even think about running or I'll have Rico pull the trigger that's aimed at your boyfriend’s head right now." The line went dead and I gasped, taking in a much needed breath.

I slowly lowered my phone to the table, trying to remain calm as I swallowed my tears. Reed's life depended on me getting out of here quietly without making a scene. I stood up and walked to the rear exit door as he instructed. Every part of me fought the urge to look around the restaurant, hoping to make eye contact with Reed. I wasn't sure what I would do if and when I saw him. Maybe it was just that I wanted to get one last look at him. I wasn't sure what Jake had planned for me, but I could be sure that I'd never see Reed again after tonight.

Not wanting to make Jake even angrier, I kept my head forward and trained on the bright-red exit sign I could see at the end of the hall in front of me. If Jake said Rico had a gun aimed at Reed's head, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that it was true and he would kill him if I gave him even the smallest reason. And maybe even if I didn't. My stomach twisted and my heart ached thinking of Reed getting hurt.

If anything happened to him, it would be my fault. I was selfish in wanting him. I was selfish for putting him in this situation. I was selfish for not telling him the truth. Maybe if I had just told him everything from the beginning, we wouldn’t be in this situation and Reed would be okay.

It was hard to imagine the anger that Jake had felt when he saw the two of us together like he said. Honestly, I was surprised we were both still alive.

As I made my last few steps toward the door, I allowed a few tears to fall, knowing I would never see Reed again. That one thought hurt more than anything I had ever been through with Jake.

When I pushed the door open, I entered a dark alley and saw two familiar faces standing under a streetlamp at the end of it. Jason and Eric, two of Jake's men, stood there staring in my direction. They never even made eye contact with me. I was assuming they knew my fate and it was too difficult for them to face me, or maybe they just didn't care at all. It didn't surprise me too much; I was used to them looking the other way.

Up until about a year ago, all of Jake's men turned the other way. No one was stupid enough to stand up to him. They knew the consequences if they did. I never knew of Jake killing anyone, but I knew there were men on his team that left one day and never returned. I can only imagine what happened to them. I thought his men would always turn the other way—that is until one day when Mike intervened.

Jake's hand was just a few inches from making contact with my face when Mike grabbed his wrist, stopping him. I remembered cowering in the corner, thinking I was about to witness Jake kill Mike.

They had stared at one another for a moment before Mike said,
"I think that's enough."

Jake narrowed his eyes on him. I thought for sure that Mike was a dead man in just a matter of seconds. Surprisingly, Jake just stormed out of the room.

Mike helped me to my feet. “He’s not going to hurt you again. I’ve seen too much of it and I can’t take it anymore.”

“Mike, you shouldn’t have done that. He won’t let you get away with it. He’ll kill you.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine. It’s you we have to worry about.”

Even though I was thankful, I never understood why Jake let Mike live to see another day.

Now snapped back to the present, I stopped when I came within a few feet of Jason and Eric. I wasn’t sure why I stopped or what I was waiting for. I was expecting them to take me by the arm and shove me into the car that was running and waiting behind them. Then, my eyes were drawn to a third person who appeared out of the shadows. Jake.

Thump. Thump. Thump.
My heart beat wildly and I fought the urge to run, but I didn't want to do anything to put Reed's life at risk.

Jake took a couple steps toward me and I could see through the darkness that he was holding a phone up to his ear.

"
I've got her, Rico. You can kill him now, but do it quietly."

"
No!" I shouted, lunging toward him. "I did what you asked. Let him go! Please! I'll do whatever you want!"

Jake shoved the phone back into his pocket and grabbed me by the arm.
"Maybe now you will feel an ounce of the pain I've been through the last few months. Now you'll know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest."

"
No! No! Please, I'll come with you. I won't ever leave you again. I promise. Please, just don't hurt him!" My voice was hoarse, strained. My knees gave out from under me and I felt myself falling to the ground. Jake jerked me back up and started dragging me toward the car. Jason held the backdoor open while Eric jogged quickly toward the driver’s side.

This was it. He was going to drive me somewhere and kill me. Then, all of a sudden, like a light switch, the strangest thing happened. I went numb. I found myself not even caring enough about my own safety to scream for help, run away, or fight back. Just knowing what had happened to Reed, I went completely numb. I felt nothing. Maybe it was my body’s way of trying to protect itself from the pain, or maybe it was just straight-out denial and shock.

Jake shoved me in the backseat and my head hit the window on the other side, snapping me out of my numbness. A powerful sob escaped me and I covered my mouth as Jake crawled in beside me. My stomach turned; I felt like I was going to be sick. Jake had found me. Reed had been killed. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to get as far away from Jake as possible.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't get the image of Reed's face out of my head. Then my thoughts turned to Lexi. She had already been through so much, lost everyone she'd loved, and now Reed… I wasn't sure she would recover when she found out what happened to him. Once she found out I was responsible, there was a good chance she would never forgive me either.

Not able to hold it back, another agonizing cry left my mouth.

"
I swear to God, Emily, keep your mouth shut or I'll send Rico to kill your friend Lexi and her muscle-headed boyfriend, too."

He knew about everyone I’d gotten close to here in New York. I shouldn’t be surprised. I expected nothing less.

I swallowed my tears and took in a deep, shaky breath. I knew what he was capable of and I believed he
would
kill everyone I cared about.

The seconds passed as I sat there in silence, trying to go back to that numb place. Trying to forget about everything… Lexi, Brandon, Reed. I tried to push all of their faces out of my head. After a few long, torturous minutes, I could feel myself shutting down, starting to become hollow and empty.

At least, for the last few months, I tasted what life was supposed to be, what really caring for someone felt like, and what it felt like to be cared for. Now, in just a matter of seconds, Jake had taken it all away.

The guilt I was feeling made it easy to go to that dark and lonely place. If I had just kept to myself, not allowed anyone close to me, then no one would've gotten hurt. I was a curse. It took a few minutes of me repeating this over and over in my head before the nothingness began to eat away at me. I could feel myself drifting farther into a dark hole, faster with each second that passed. The pain that I felt in my chest right now
—
all over my body
—
I almost wished for Jake to kill me. Anything would be better than this torture.

"
Do you have nothing to say to me?" Jake asked as I felt the car come to a stop. For a split second, the thought of opening the car door and trying to run entered my mind. Then I pictured Lexi's face and the thought immediately vanished. There was nothing I would do to put her life in danger, too. The car began to move again. I didn't even wonder where we were going. I didn't care.

"
Well?" he asked, his tone harsh, bitter.

I didn't respond or look in his direction. My eyes were focused out the window, staring at the people laughing across the street, the couple walking and holding hands, the father and son hanging Christmas lights.

"
You are such an ungrateful little bitch. All I've done for you, everything I've given you, and then you leave me. You put me through all this pain, and now, after I spent months searching for you, you say nothing to me."

Is he serious?
Normally when he would speak to me like this, I would cower down and brace for the punishment. I would sit still and hope that whatever he wanted to do to me would be quick. Now, with everything that had happened, I felt anger. Deep-rooted, built-up hatred began to course through my veins.

This asshole, in his twisted head, actually thinks he deserves love? He thinks he deserves gratitude? He actually thinks he deserves thanks and appreciation for the way he's treated me?
In the past, I knew Jake suffered from some very dark demons. I knew that he couldn't be all there in his mind, because what kind of person would treat another human being like he treated me? After hearing him talk to me just now, I knew he was more evil than I ever imagined.