The Hardest Part (23 page)

I pulled him back down to me as he brought his arms more securely around my waist, pulling me toward him. My chest pressed firmly against his. I made a noise at the sensation when his lips parted and his tongue touched mine. That sound caused him to clutch me even tighter to him, coaxing even more sounds to come out of me.

My mind was focused on the ways his lips were moving against mine and the firm grip he had on me, but somewhere in my blissful and totally lost-in-him mind, I knew we were moving. After only a few steps, we stopped and I heard the click of a door opening. I kept my eyes shut. Not wanting or caring where we were going.

We began to move again. He was slowly pushing me forward. After a few more steps, we came to another stop. This time, I opened my eyes and saw that Reed was reaching behind me, trying to open another door, but it was locked. When his eyes opened, they connected with mine. Our breaths were both coming out fast and ragged. I glanced over his shoulder and saw another closed door. Pulling him with me, I walked across the hall to try the other door. This time, it opened.

I walked into the room, pulling him with me. I could now see it was an empty office with a couple bookshelves and a nice, large desk. A window on the far right wall looked out over the garden we’d just been standing near. There was a low glow in the room from the lights that hung in the trees above the garden.

When I glanced back at Reed, I saw him staring at me. Passion and desire filled his eyes. He ran his hands down my ribs to my hips and then effortlessly picked me up, gripping my upper thighs. He walked me over to the desk, sat me down, and slid me to the edge of it before standing between my open legs.

He removed his jacket from around my shoulders and laid it flat on the desk behind me. Without even thinking of the consequences or caring if someone walked in on us, I pulled his shirt from his pants. I moved back up the top, starting to remove the bow tie, and then worked my way down each button.

I didn’t know what I was doing exactly; my mind seemed to shut off at the moment. All logic and doubt vanished. There was only one thing I wanted right now. I would have to deal with the consequences of my decision later.

When his shirt was finally open, I ran my hands along the length of his chest before moving to undo his pants. The entire time I had been undressing him, Reed hadn't spoken a word… until now that was.

His hands wrapped around mine.
"Emily, maybe we shouldn't do this. The last time we did this, it didn't end well. Maybe we should wait."

I didn't want to wait. I couldn't wait another second. I wanted him. I needed him.

He glanced down at me. I saw the desire he still had in his eyes. I knew he wanted me, too. He was just the stronger one between us to question what we were doing. Even though his hands still rested on mine, I continued to try to get into his pants. The struggle in his eyes was clear, but then, almost in an instant, the struggle left his eyes and a passion-filled hunger replaced it.

His lips came down roughly on mine, his weight pushing me down to lie on the desk. I raised my left leg and wrapped it around his waist, pressing him harder into me. The long slit up the left side of my dress caused the silk fabric to fall away from my skin. I sighed and closed my eyes when his hand caressed my skin, realizing now how much I missed his touch.

Suddenly, his hands were demanding and busy, moving everywhere. He scrunched up my dress and removed my underwear, leaving me fully exposed from the waist down. I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold draft in the office or the way his eyes raked down my body, but I shivered until he came back on top of me, covering me with warmth as his mouth explored my neck and chest.

"
Reed…" I moaned into his ear. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for him. I'd beg for it if I had to.

His kisses trailed back up my neck, hungrier than before. When he reached my mouth, I moaned again as I felt his tongue against my own. His hands gripped my thighs and squeezed down, causing an intense cry to escape my lips.

"
Reed… please," I moaned. This time it came out sounding more like begging.

In a few swift movements, he removed the rest of his clothes and then pushed himself into me. I gasped at the rough entrance as I raised my hips to meet his. Each time he rocked into me, he plunged harder and deeper. He let out a moan of his own when I wrapped my legs around his back, allowing him even deeper inside of me.

During those last few moments, my back arched off the desk and my breathing quickened as I felt pure ecstasy run through me. Reed stilled over me, breathing heavy. I wrapped my arms around him; his whole body was shaking.

As I lay there, the reality of what we’d just done hit me. I didn't have any regrets or guilt like last time. I knew he was what I wanted. I wouldn't deny myself any longer. Too much time had passed, and I was ready to try to love again. To allow myself to be loved.

"
I
FEEL
like I could sleep for a week." Christine yawned as she laid her head down on her desk.

I laughed.
"Me, too, but it was beautiful. Reed and Lexi loved it. You should be proud. You did a great job."

"
We
did a great job," she corrected me. "You aren't so bad after all." She gave me a smile.

"
Yeah, you're not so bad yourself." And she really wasn't. I felt like over the past month, the two of us could almost be considered friends. It was a nice change from her looking at me like she wanted to claw my eyes out all the time.

"
How about a drink to celebrate? After the press coverage we got, we are going to be swamped with customers. I think our lives are about to get crazy."

"
Can I take a rain check? I promised Lexi I would go to her place and help her pack." Lexi was going to spend the week at Brandon's family's house in New Jersey, something she was really nervous about.

"
Sure, but I'll hold you to it." She stood up and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Well, I guess I have a date with my TV and then my bed… again."

After she left, I finished a few things at the office and then headed over to Lexi's. When she opened the door, she had a panicked look on her face.

"
I have nothing to wear." She turned around and stomped back to her room. "I bought new outfits for this week, but nothing looks right. What are you supposed to wear to meet your boyfriend’s parents? What am I going to do, Emily?" She looked at me with pure fear in her eyes.

"
First, you need to relax." I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"
It's not funny. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to fall in love with Brandon and I just want his family to like me," she said as she fell back on her bed. "If they don't like me, then it will never work."

Shaking my head, I climbed up on her bed and sat beside her, wondering why she couldn't see how amazing she was. I wondered why she didn't see herself like everyone else saw her, as a beautiful person, inside and out.

"
If Brandon is introducing you to his family, then he must have the same feelings about you, don't you think?"

She nodded.

"
See, you just need to relax. If Brandon feels that strongly about you, then his family will, too. They are going to love you," I said, hoping to boost her confidence.

"
I hope so. Brandon is the first guy I've dated in a long time and I just don't want to screw this up, you know. He's different from any guy I've ever dated and…" She stopped short and sat up. "Sorry, you probably think I'm being crazy and annoying."

"
No. You being nervous is pretty normal, I think. This is a big step for you guys. I think it would be strange if you weren't so nervous. It shows how much you care about him."

"
Thanks for being here. I don’t know how well this conversation would've gone with Reed. Oh, and speaking of, I almost forgot. I know you're not one to read the papers or magazines, and to be honest, they are mostly garbage, but
this
I think you need to see."

She hopped off the bed, walked across the room, and picked up a magazine off her dresser. I hadn't even seen it yet, but my heart was already racing. This wasn't going to be good.

"
I think they ran it in every major magazine. Most of the time, I hate the pictures they take and I think it's such an invasion of privacy, but these pictures are actually really cute. I'm not sure I've ever seen you smile like this before." Lexi held the magazine out for me to see.

My heart hammered even faster the second I got a good look at it.
No. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My mind raced. I didn't even remember anyone taking pictures.
Could I have been that distracted with Reed or was the photographer just that good?

I pulled the magazine from her grasp and stared at the numerous pictures of Reed and me. There was a close-up of us looking at one another, smiling. Another of us kissing against the column outside. One of us in an embrace inside the small room right before we…
Oh God, please tell me they don't have pictures of that.
An entire page dedicated just to us.
Oh no. No. No. No. No. No. This is bad. Really, really bad.

Before, when the paparazzi and reporters had taken pictures of me outside the restaurant, my face had been blocked out for the most part, but now, it was in clear view.

"
This one is definitely a framer." Lexi pointed to the one of Reed and me smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes. "At least you got one good thing out of all of this horrible press." She kept talking, but the loud ringing in my ears drowned her out. My eyes moved to the heading below the pictures
—
the one in large, bold lettering.

REED ALEXANDER OFF THE MARKET! EMILY ANDERSON HAS HIS HEART!

The moment I saw it, it felt like my chest had been hit with a sledge hammer. My stomach twisted into something horrible. I stared at the images of Reed and me again, more specifically the close-up that was captured the moment right after we kissed outside.

I'd been so stupid and too relaxed, thinking I could live a normal life. Thinking I could actually have a real relationship with him. Eventually, things like this would get back to Jake. He'd come find me.

"
Emily, what's wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick."

She had no idea how sick I wanted to be. Swallowing hard, I tried to push down the fear I could feel rising in my throat. I had to get out of here. I wasn't sure where I would go or what I would do, but I knew I couldn't stay here. I would have to run again.
Can I do that? Can I leave New York and start over? Can I really run again? Do I really want to leave the life that I've created? Do I want to leave Lexi? Reed? No, but I have to go.
If there was the smallest chance that Jake would see these pictures, then I had to leave. He would kill me for sure, but not only that; he would kill everyone I had come to care about. He would do it to punish me.

"
Emily." Lexi shook me gently. "You're starting to scare me."

"
I have to go," I finally said, shoving the magazine back into her hands.

"
Wait." Lexi reached out to stop me, but I hurried past her, walking as fast as I could toward the front door.

The faster I got back to my apartment, packed a few clothes and left New York, the better. It was the only way. My mind was still spinning with all of the possibilities that could happen.
What if he’s already here in New York?
The pictures had been published for a few days.
What if he’s waiting for me right now?

When I reached the elevators at the end of the hall, Lexi caught up to me.
"Geez, Emily, what is it?"

My breaths were coming fast and heavy.
"It's
—
I have to go, okay? Those pictures…" I gestured to the magazine that was still in her hands. "It's just… I thought if I was careful that it would be okay, but it's too dangerous." The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. Her face shifted into a look of horror.
Damn, I shouldn't have said anything.
"Listen, Lexi, it's not a big deal. I just can't deal with all of this right now."