The Heart's Ashes (58 page)

By my bed, the
silver box sat, glorious and ancient, a reminder that David and I
come from separate worlds, so very far apart, but so connected. The
haunting song stored in that little case still played in my heart,
making my arms tingle.

I walked over
and twisted the crank at the base, then set it down, pausing before
opening the lid.

“
Ara?” Emily popped her head in the door; I snapped the lid
closed the inch I dared to open it.

“
Yeah.”

“
Time to wake up, girl. We got a wedding to
attend.”

I brushed off
the last remains of a warm, cosy sleep, and charged for the door,
catching sight of the time as I reached the hall. “Oh my God,
Emily. It’s ten o’clock! You didn’t wake me.”

“
It’s fine, Ara, stop worrying,” she said, walking away from
me, her hands full of crisp, white linen.

“
But, I am worrying. I—I don’t know what to do or where to go
or what to eat or—”

With a smile,
she dropped the stack of napkins on the hall table, appearing in
front of me, her hand on my shoulder. “Take a breath.”

“
Okay.” I folded over a little. “Breath. Good
idea.”

“
All good?” She leaned down a little to meet my
eyes.

“
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” I straightened up. “No paper bag
necessary. I’m just so excited. I—I’m afraid I might just run down
the aisle.”

Emily laughed
and used my shoulders to direct me to the stairs. “I’m sure David
will be more than happy if you do. Nothing can ruin this day for
that man.”

As we reached
the base of the stairs, the memories of childhood, and David,
skittered into my mind, echoing off just about every object in the
house. I drew a long, deep breath through my nose.

“
One bride coming up,” Emily announced.

“
Oh, good.” Vicki placed a plate of scrambled eggs on the
table in my spot; the smell of toasted bread and salt drew me
toward the table by my nose. “I was just about to come wake
you.”

“
I wish you’d woken me sooner.” I shuffled into the chair,
pulling my sleeves over my hands.

“
Why?” Vicki put a coffee on the table. “So you could drive us
all crazy with your panicking?”

“
Yes.” I frowned.
Why else?
Jeeze.

“
Give me that.” She grabbed the salt from me and put it on the
bench across the room. “You are as bad as your father,
Amara-Rose.”

“
Hmpf!” I folded my arms, but only for a second since hunger
overtook and forced me to swallow my temper with my
toast.

“
Morning, honey.” Dad kissed my cheek, sat beside me, then
unfurled his newspaper.

“
Hi, Dad.”

“
Ready for this one?” he asked his paper.

“
This time—so, so ready, Dad.”

“
Glad to hear it.” He winked, then disappeared behind the
daily news again.

“
Dad?” I said, looking at the blinking light on the camera by
his arm. “If you don’t turn it off we’ll run out of battery for the
ceremony.”

“
It is off.” He rolled a corner of his read to look at the
camera. “That’s what the little light is, isn’t it?”

Groan.

“
No, Greg.” Vicki left a plate of toast on the table and
picked up the camera. “That means on.”

“
Oh.” He hid behind the paper.

“
How’re the guys this morning?” I asked Dad.

“
One’s pacing, the other’s sitting down and standing up every
thirty seconds.” He kept his eyes on the paper. “I’ll leave it up
to you to figure out which one’s which.”

“
Did their suits fit? Do they need any help with their
ties?”

Dad looked at
me, his brow arched high. “Well, they’re closer to being ready than
you are.”

“
I won’t take long. My dress pretty much just slides on and
this mess of braids is coming out, so—” I left it at that and
popped a fork-tip full of Vicki’s light, fluffy scrambled eggs onto
my tongue.

“
Don’t mind me.” Emily appeared out of nowhere and tugged at
my plaits. “I’ll just get the base of these braids out now—it’ll
save time later.”

“
Ouch,” I protested, trying to co-ordinate the fork with my
jerking head. “Em, can you be gentle?”

“
No.”

“
Some
of us around here
are
human, you know.”
Emily stopped tugging and held still; Dad and Vicki didn’t even
look up. I did mean that as a joke, and if I’d never met David, the
possible implications of my attempt at comedy would’ve been nil,
but we paused a moment longer anyway until the satisfaction of
normality quenched our concern.

I shoved
another heap of toast toward my mouth, missing the cave and hitting
my teeth a little, then dropped my fork onto my plate; I’ll eat
when Emily’s done yanking my hair out.

“
So, Dad?” I asked after a little hesitation.

“
Yeah, honey.” He sipped his coffee.

“
Is Mike okay, do you think? I mean, did he seem—”

“
Oh, for God’s sake!” Emily dropped my hair and walked away
with a huff.

Dad and I
watched the light in the entrance disappear behind the front
door.

“
What’s that all about?” I said.

“
That was a little insensitive, Ara,” Vicki butted in where
she wasn’t welcome.

“
What? So, I’m not allowed to ask how my friend, who was
supposed to marry me, is feeling today?”

“
We’re all aware this is hard for Mike, Ara, but it’s hard for
Emily, too.” Vicki motioned to the front lawn through the window,
where Emily sat with her face in her hands.

Vicki went
back to the stove and Dad rose from his seat, placing the camera on
the table in front of me. “You know, I’m not too good at running
this thing. You never know what might be on it.”

Before I looked up from the camera, Dad disappeared out the
front door. “Why are you staring at me?” I whispered spitefully to
the palm-sized image catcher. I wonder what Dad meant by
You never know what might be on
it
. Is there something on this thing he
wants me to see?

I looked over
at Vicki, then back at the object in question.

It’s supposed
to be bad luck to see the groom before the wedding—mind you,
tradition didn’t help with my other wedding.

“
I hope you know what you’re doing,” I said to the camera,
snaffling it under my shirt and bolting up the stairs.

Okay. On
button. I know where that is.

The camera
bleeped, the small screen lighting up as I closed my bedroom door
with my ankle and flopped onto the bed. Several thumbnails showed
images of the setup outside, Vicki’s face, Skittles, Sam and then a
grainy, dark room, with two figures in the frame, the image at an
acute angle, as if it was filmed half upside down; the zipper in
the foreground a giveaway that Dad left the camera on top of the
bag.

With a shaky
finger, I pressed play. A static rushing made it hard to hear the
voices, but David’s smooth tones rose above it all.

“
This must be hard for you,” he said, and I think he placed
his hand on Mike’s shoulder. The bright morning sun dominated the
background, turning the boys into silhouettes. The taller guy
looked down and nodded; I pressed my finger to the screen and the
volume increased.

Mike chuckled.
“Understatement.”

“
You know I’ll take care of her, right?” David said, gently
shaking Mike’s shoulder.

“
Yeah, I know.” He nodded, then they linked hands in a weird
upside-down gesture—the ‘brotherhood handshake’. “You’re like a
brother to me, man, and…I love that girl—more than I damn well
should. If I had to choose any guy on the planet to marry her, I’m
glad it’s one who loves her as much as I do.”

David looked
down and nodded, then wrapped his arms around Mike. They hugged,
patted each other’s backs loudly and broke away, clearing their
throats.

“
Come on then.” Mike and David walked out of the frame. “It’s
time to get our shoes on.” The scene went silent, a washed out hum
the only remaining sound as the camera fell into the darkness of
Dad’s leather bag. I closed the screen and looked up at Emily, who
stood in the doorway, covering her face as she burst into
tears.

“
Oh, Emily.”

“
I’m never going to be the only one, am I?” She landed beside
me, falling straight into my waiting arms.

“
Em.” I sighed.

“
What do I have to do to fill your shoes, Ara? I can’t compete
anymore. When he sees you, his heart picks up—I can hear it, and I
can feel the way his body gets hotter when you’re near
him.”

“
Doesn’t that happen when he’s with you?”

“
Yes. But you’re missing the point.”

“
No, I’m not, Em.” I chuckled softly. “Mike and I loved each
other all our lives—this is gonna be a long transition, especially
since we all live together. Look—” I brushed her hair from her
face. “When David and I leave for Paris today it’ll give you and
Mike a chance to fall in love properly, okay? Like it should
be—away from ex’s and all. This’ll be good for you.”

Emily nodded.
“Yeah, if he doesn’t jump on a plane after you.”

I can so see that happening.
“Emily,
Mike loves you.”

“
No. He needs me, he likes me, but not love. I’m sure of that
now,” she said with a nod of composure.

“
What makes you think that?”

“
Well, he still hasn’t said it.”

“
What?”

“
I told him I love him, and he just kissed the top of my head
and rubbed my arm.”

I slapped my forehead. “Em. Mike loves you. He’s just an
idiot, that’s all. He
told
me he loves you.”

“
Really?”

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “Talk to him.
Ask
him if he loves
you.”

“
But what if he says no?”

“
Then you’ll know. And you won’t have to agonise over it any
longer.”

Emily smiled
softly and touched the ends of my hair; “I love it when you make
sense.”

“
How’s my little bride-to-be going?” Vicki asked as she walked
in.

“
Great.” I stood up. “I’m just heading for a
shower.”

“
A shower?” Vicki’s lips twisted. “Ara, you had one last
night—remember? So you wouldn’t ruin your hair, today.”

“
Oh, right.” I slapped my palm to my brow again. “I just don’t
know what I’m doing. I haven’t been able to think clearly all
morning.”

“
That’s because you rushed into this,” Vicki said, sitting on
my bed. “You planned and executed a wedding in a few weeks. You
didn’t even have an engagement party or a bridal shower
or—”

“
Vicki.” I turned away, shaking my head. “I told you, and I’m
not going to argue with you about this today. I don’t want any
fuss. I just wanna get married and—”

“
But you didn’t even paint your nails, or get a tan this
time.”

I looked down at my pretty, rounded nails. “David wants to
marry
me
, Vicki,
not some primped-up, polished, plastic-doll version of the girl he
loves. Just me—simple, elegant me. Weddings don’t need to be a big
deal.”

“
I’m sorry, Ara. I just don’t want you to regret it one day
when you grow up and realise that a wedding means more than you
thought.”

“
I’m sure if that happens we can always renew our vows.” I
sighed and looked at Emily. “I need to get my dress on. It’s nearly
time.”

“
Okay, get out of your jammies, I’ll go get it.” Emily
scuttled off to the wardrobe.

I looked at
Vicki; she smiled softly—her white flag—and hugged me. “I’m sorry,
Ara. You already look beautiful, and I’m so happy for you. David’s
a very nice boy. I don’t think you could’ve done better if you’d
married Mike.”

“
Thanks, Vicki.” I hugged back.

“
Okay.” She stepped away and wiped her face. “I’ll go greet
the guests, and we’ll see you down there in twenty
minutes.”

I nodded.

As the door
closed, I quickly shimmed out of my pyjamas. Bumps of
frost-aversion littered my half-naked body. I crossed my arms over
my waist and looked out the window, tapping my foot to get warm. We
can’t really class this as spring, despite the fact that, according
to the groundhog, it’s the official first day. There was still snow
outside last week, and only very few leaves on the trees. But we
don’t have time to wait for the sun. Immortality awaits, and so do
a band of blood-thirsty, hate-fuelled vampires.

“
Hey.” Emily smiled at me, carrying a pile of white lace over
her arm. “Nice underwear—David’ll like those.”

“
I know.”
I just wonder how
you
know
. I cupped my hands over my bare
breasts; the icy touch of my fingers brought blood to the surface
in a rush to warm my skin.

Emily dropped
my dress to the floor and made a circle in the waist for me to step
into. As the zip reached a stop—just under my shoulder blades—I
traced my fingers along the rounded neckline. “David will love
this,” I said.