The Heart's Ashes (54 page)

And the
darkness made me brave enough to take a breath, which only
circulated the intoxicating rush of lust around my body again,
intensifying when David slid his hands around my waist, between
fabric and skin, then slowly pushed my underwear down, jeans and
all, keeping his chest, his chin, his eyes right in line with my
body. As my pants reached my ankles, David leaned down to help me
out of them, his breath brushing the nakedness between my thighs as
I lifted each leg, opening them at the knees.

I saw him
rocket so slightly forward with a pulse of obvious desire, his eyes
closing. And I wanted him to do what I knew was on his mind; I
could see him looking at me, see his hands tremble as he had the
same ideas. I wanted him to kiss me there, wanted it so badly my
knees tightened.

Instead, I
slipped my fingers through the collar of his shirt and he stood in
front of me, his clothes scratchy against my completely bare skin.
In one slice of his nail, David removed all the buttons on his
shirt. It fell to the floor, his shoulders flexing as he released
his wrists and came back to wrap me in his arms; skin on skin. My
warmth, his tepid coolness, mixed with so much affection in that
one embrace.

At some point,
the playlist on my iPhone had progressed from John Mayer to Jeff
Buckley; the haunting call of his melody adding only a surreal kind
of charge to the room—making everything ghostly, as if we were in
some ultra-hot film—nothing actually real. A script, a story, one
that could not rightly happen, because no one could ever truly feel
this way.

David’s golden
muscles, warm and shadowed in the soft light, split the illusion,
bringing me back, breathless. I either needed to fall down or start
crying. Sweet, orange-chocolate filled the air as he kissed my
cheek, his lips barely touching my skin, flowing gently over my
neck, my collarbone. “Are you ready for this?” he asked in a deep
whisper.

Each beat of
my heart forced a small movement from me, making me jolt forward,
the rhythm of the music my breath. “Yes.”

His hands
slipped along my lower spine, a tickly, delicate touch, our chests,
our hips, the skin on our stomachs finally touching as he pulled my
body against his.

Everything
tingled—alive with lust.

David Knight.
My David, holding me the way I’ve dreamed of for so long. The boy
with the sexy smile; the top student, musician, protector—my
saviour. But a feeling surged in me, rising from someplace locked,
barred away from the world. “I’m scared,” I whispered as our lips
touched, softer, more terrifying than any kiss we’d ever had.

“
It’s okay, sweetheart. Just close your eyes—I’ll be gentle
with you.”

An aura of
tension shook my arms and legs, pushing me down, making me heavy.
David lifted me; hands under my knees, around my waist, and carried
me the two, human steps to the bed. Then, with a gentle kiss, he
slid my body, feet first, between the silky sheets; their cool
touch making all this real, so real, while the smell of lily fabric
softener reminded me to wash that white shirt I left in the
laundry—the one with a blood stain on it.

When David
fell beside me, his jeans gone, his bare skin touching my leg, I
came back to the now and smiled up at him.

“
I can’t believe I finally have you in my arms like this.” He
shook his head, closing his eyes for a second. “You don’t know how
many nights I dreamed of this, Ara.”

The soft
tickle of his fingers drove my body wild as he slid a firm hand
down my stomach and between my thighs, gently pressing them apart.
So many times I’d pictured how this would happen, but as the cool
of the night brushed places warmed by the desire to have him, I
could think of no other scenarios. I wanted him between my legs,
his body connected to mine, touching me deeper than he’d ever been
before.

“
What are you doing?” I asked.

His hand
hovered just above me. “Your eyes—they’re unbelievably blue right
now.”

“
It’s the colour of desire.”

He snapped out
of whatever reverie he’d been in and pushed up off the bed. “I
thought that was red?”

“
Not tonight,” I whispered, my legs falling apart to let David
kneel between them.

“
You’re getting hotter.” He grinned and smoothed his hands
over my inner thigh, tracing every inch of my flesh, his thumbs
coming to rest in a place that took my breath.

“
Am I supposed to feel like that?”

He smiled.
“You mean...wet?”

I felt my
cheeks go hot. “Um, yeah, that.”

“
Yes, you are.”

He moved his
thumbs inside me; I closed my eyes, tensing all over—good tension.
The cloud of ecstasy filled every inch of me with plumes of rushing
want.

“
I think you’re ready,” David said, sinking onto his elbows;
his stomach, his hips, his chest falling to meet mine.

I propped a
shaking hand against his ribs and held him there; “Will this hurt?”
Nerves formed a lump in my throat. “When you—you know?”

“
Yes. The first time usually does.” He kissed my brow. “But
we’ll go slow—and I can stop whenever you want me to. Just think it
and I’ll stop.”

“
Okay,” I said, then held my breath, trembling as David
reached down. “Uh!” My fingers tightened on the pillowcase under my
head, the feeling inside me so foreign, the stinging deep and
tight.

“
Relax,” David whispered into my hair. “It won’t hurt as much
if you relax.”

“
Mm-hm.” I nodded, but stayed tense. I couldn’t take my mind
off the sensation; David, inside me, touching me.
Me
. Not anyone else.
Finally me.

He dropped his
head and looked to one side, smiling. “Bite me.”

Huh?

“
Bite me, Ara. The blood will distract you.”

“
But—”

“
Go on,” he prompted, smiling. “You won’t need me to break the
skin. I’m so hungry right now a butterknife could draw blood from
me.”

I
hesitated.

“
Go on. It’ll help.”

Swallowing the
lump in my throat, I rolled at the waist a little, my hands
wrapping David’s neck, my hot breath coming immediately back off
his skin with the smell of shampoo and aftershave. The stubble on
his neck prickled my tongue before I pressed my teeth to the
softness of his flesh, and it broke open under my lips, blood
pooling into my mouth.

As I
swallowed, distracted by the smooth, sugary taste of his warmth,
David slipped deeper inside me—gripping my legs with his widespread
fingers. My spine sunk into the bed with the weight of his body
forcing me down; he held still for a moment then eased out of me
slowly, dragging a warm feeling behind before gently sliding back
in, making me gasp, closing my eyes, biting harder to focus only on
the blood.

“
How’s that now?”

His skin
closed under my lips, blocking the flow. I focused on the feeling
between my legs, crossing my ankles over David’s hips. “It’s...it’s
good. Really good.”

He let out a
low, slow breath, then grabbed my hip, propping his body off
mine.

“
You’re holding back, aren’t you?” My words came out funny,
sounding jolted with his feverish movements.

“
Yes.”

I circled a
finger around the hair at the base of his neck, then whispered in
his ear, “Don’t.”

He looked down
at me. “I could get pretty rough, Ara.”

“
I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

He leaned in
slowly and kissed me, his tongue touching mine for a second,
smoothing the blood from my lips into his, then pulling away before
coming back one last time as he broke the kiss. “I know it’s
cliché—” Even his voice sounded like he was talking and running.
“But I want to do so many bad things to you right now.”

That only
intensified my breathing, which made him move faster, his hands
wildly searching every inch of my flesh, his face in my neck, the
want for my blood showing in his tight grip under my hips.

“
Do it. Bite me.” I closed my eyes and scrunched my hands into
his hair. He moved faster then, kissing with eager
desperation—breathing louder as his lips fought for flesh—touching,
then pulling away—hungered by lust. Teeth scraped over my skin,
gently nibbling at the surface, then sealing each tender bite with
a kiss.

Another rush
of heat, embodied by a pulsing sensation, gripped my insides. I let
out a pathetic cry.

David
laughed.

“
Sorry.” I touched his chest, practically panting.
Too loud?

“
No—not at all.” He smiled down at me, moving his hips again.
“Although, I can’t be held responsible for what I might do if you
keep making those sweet, sexy noises.” He kissed my forehead, then
rolled his head back slightly. “I wish you could be me, Ara—for
just one moment, to know how you make me feel—to see how good you
feel when I’m inside you.”

I took a
moment too, to really feel him on top of me, to feel his weight,
the backs of my legs touching his waist, his hipbones sharp, the
breath from his nose falling over my bare chest. “Am I the first
human you’ve ever made love to?”

“
Yes.” He smiled widely, grabbing my hips to control the
motion.

“
Uh,” I cried out again, laughing. “Stop doing
that.”

“
What?” He rolled his hips downward, making my insides twitch
and my toes curl.

“
That!”

“
Oh, you like that, do you?”

“
Stop it—I can’t control my voice when you do it.
Uh!”

David laughed
and did it again. “Do you know what that feeling is?”

“
An act of God?”

“
Ha-ha,” he chuckled. “You’re peaking—in a minute you’ll go
over that ridge and...”

“
Orgasm?”

“
Yes.”

“
I thought that was something only porn stars did.”

He laughed,
loud and full, rolling his head back. “Then we better get my camera
out, because, my love, you are about to org—” He bit his lip,
thrusting into me harder.

I turned my
head to the side, breathing heavily, reaching for something to
ground me again. My fingers tangled the sheet under my hips as
every pulse in my body flowed down to that one place below,
surrounding me in an intense stillness of excitement—better than
drinking blood.

“
You should try it while drinking blood,” David said and sank
his teeth into my neck. He bit hard, really hard, as each muscle
along his forearm tensed, flowing down his shoulders, tightening
his hips under my thighs. He stopped moving, and pushed into me,
holding me in place as his bite spilled warm blood out over my
shoulder.

David, bite
harder.

I didn’t need
to ask twice. His chin pressed into my collarbone, his teeth
savagely gnawing at my flesh, catching the tendon, making my arms
tighten. But the pleasure of his bite only excited my nerves,
sending tingles down my spine—into my toes, controlling my
movements—forcing my back to arch, my pelvis rising up to meet
his.

My fingers
twisted the sheet tighter as, with one tiny movement of David’s
body, all the lust, the fear, the perfect, intrinsically delicious
sensation sent a burst of excitement from my lips in a pathetic
squeak. I felt everything; his breath, his hands, the heat, the
cold—cumulating and rising up from my knees, into my hips,
tightening my stomach—Oh God—I breathed, unsure whether to panic,
or cry, or giggle. “Holy shit!” I thrust my hands into my hair,
practically crying, wanting to kick my legs or tremble
uncontrollably.

My vampire
sucked the last remains of liquid from my neck and drew back,
breathing heavily as he looked down at me. I was lost, totally
lost; the sensation that tipped my body over the scales flooded
away with a rush of tranquillity—weakening my legs; they fell
softly against his hips, a numb exhaustion filling my chest with
giggles.

“
Ara!” He stared at my neck, his whole body rigid.

“
What?” I stopped smiling.

“
Doesn’t that hurt?” David jumped back and shuffled to the
foot of the bed, clutching the sheet to his groin.

“
What?”

“
I—”

“
Is she okay?” Emily burst in the room.

“
Emily!” I grabbed the other end of the sheet to cover myself.
I really need to get a lock.

“
What’s going on?” Mike flicked the light on, still buttoning
his jeans. “Em?”

“
He used his fangs.” Emily sat on my bed, taking both my
hands, looking deep into my eyes.

“
What?” Mike looked at David, livid fury in his gaze, until he
saw what I only noticed then; David’s black eyes; hollow and
horrified; he stared at me like he’d just taken my last
breath.

“
I—I lost control,” David said.

My hand flew
to the bite mark. I rolled it away, looking at the blood. “You used
your fangs?”

Mike’s
shoulders dropped, his eyes tearing. “Is she...is she gonna
die?”

I panicked. I
didn’t feel anything. Nothing. No sting. No rushing infusion of
agony. I looked at my fiancé, who hadn’t moved an inch, sitting
with the sheet just covering his lower half, at the foot of the
bed.

“
What have I done?” he said, his words falling to the oblivion
he was lost in.

“
I—” I looked around the anguished faces. “I feel fine. It
didn’t even hurt.”