The Heart's Ashes (81 page)

They say dog
is man’s best friend, but I think, for this girl, right now, he
might just be exactly what I need; a companion—one that doesn’t
want my heart, my body or my soul. One I can tell all my deepest
thoughts and nightmares, and never have to fear judgement or that
round-eyed-pity-stare I get from those who love me.

“
Petey?” I said; the dog looked up at me. “I think you and I
need to have nice long talk—somewhere far away from
here.”

Chapter
27

“
So, Ara did a good job with Arthur the other day. He’s
totally convinced David’s dead,” Morgaine said to an unidentified
ear, somewhere in the kitchen.

I listened
more carefully for the other voice as I sat on the floor beside
David’s bed.

“
Yes,” Morgaine continued. “Mike went back to Loslilian this
morning. He’ll start phase two of Ara’s training on the
weekend.”

Okay, she must
be on the phone.

“
Yes, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

My ears
pricked. Happy to see who? This sensitive hearing thing is growing
on me, but I wish I could magically prod people as well, and tell
them to shut up. Last thing I need is visitors. I looked at David,
wishing he’d regain consciousness so we could just run away
together.

“
Come in,” I said quietly when someone knocked.

“
Hey.”

“
Eric,” I beamed. “Hi.”

“
Hello, Amara.” He grinned widely and sat cross-legged on the
floor beside me.

“
Was that you on the phone with Morgaine?”

“
Yes.”

“
How did you get here so fast?”

Eric paused, a
half grin on his lips. “You’re not serious are you? Really.” He
shook his head. “Mike needs to teach you how to run properly.”

“
He did. Guess I just didn’t really think of that.”

“
So, how is he?” Eric looked at David.

I shook my
head. “Not so good. I slit my wrist every few hours and coat him in
blood, and Emily’s been robbing the local hospital to get human
stuff, but he can’t open his eyes, he, I mean—” I let out a breath
and sniffed it back in so as not to cry, “—he doesn’t even have
eyelids.”

“
I’m sorry, Amara.” Eric reached over and laid a red rose on
the bedside table; the soft scent brought a feeling of familiarity
to my otherwise dark day. “If I could trade places—”

“
Thanks, Eric.”

He took my hand; the same vibrant electricity he always
sparked in me rose up under his fingertips. “How have
you
been coping,
kiddo?”

Every time
someone asked me that in the last few days, it had been in
reference to coping with what happened to David, but I knew Eric
meant this in reference to surviving torture—a subject no one else
around here mentioned, whether for fear of upsetting me or for
sheer repulsion, I wasn’t sure, but the only friend I’d had to talk
to about it so far was Petey. “I’m okay,” I said humbly.

David took a
gasp of air, and I launched to my knees. “David?” The breath
stopped. “David can you hear me?”

“
Holy shit, Amara?” Eric said, softly tracing a fingertip down
the length of my spine, touching under my singlet top a little.
“You need to eat, girl. You’re
very
thin.”

“
I—I don’t want to leave him.”

“
Hasn’t Emily been coming in to feed you?”

I shook my
head. “Once or twice, but I…well, I think they’ve all forgotten I’m
here.”

Eric smiled
sympathetically. “They haven’t, kiddo. They’re all just busy
recruiting knights and organising the refurbishment of Loslilian.
They can’t have a queen come out to an old run-down manor that’s
been inhabited by vampires for the last seven centuries.”

“
But they can leave her in a room for eight hours a day with
her crispy husband?”

Eric burst out
laughing. “Ah, the girl found a decent joke book.”

I half smiled.
I wasn’t joking, but I guess that might’ve sounded funny to a
vampire with a sick sense of humour.

“
Funny as that is, though, are you really alone—all day?” he
asked.

I shrugged.
“Some days. Not all. Em comes in and out to nurse David, and Mike
was taking me out for walks, but he’s gone now, so—”

“
Perhaps I should visit more, then?”

“
I’d like that.”

“
Good. Then, consider it done. And while I’m here—” He held
out his wrist. “Eat.”

I looked up at
David; still not breathing, still as bad as he was the first day I
saw him.

“
David’s unconscious, Amara. Even if my feeding you offends
him, I welcome his rebuff. Besides, he’d agree it’s better than you
starving yourself.”

“
I’m not starving myself. Emily fed me last night, and offered
again this morning, but I...”

“
You’re starving yourself. Punishing yourself because you
blame the blood for the reason you bit David.”

“
Maybe a little. But, I also don’t think David would like it
if I had your blood, Eric. He’s okay with Emily, I think, but,
you’re a guy.”

“
Amara?” Eric knelt beside me. “It’s not that big a deal,
really. David and Emily have been sharing blood since she was
turned.”

“
What?”

“
It’s a quick means of nutrients.”

“
Do they…I mean, would they have…”

“
No, Amara, don’t even go there. Vampires sharing vamp blood
is like a human drinking his own urine to survive; you can’t live
on it, but it gets you through, except, uh—drinking another vamp’s
blood isn’t quite as gross as urine, but you get what I mean. It
doesn’t have to be lustful.”

“
Well, how do you know they were sharing blood? David never
told
me
that.”

“
He never told you how many humans he killed a day, either,
did he? Doesn’t mean he wasn’t doing it.”

“
So, you think he won’t be upset if I drink from
you?”

“
What does it matter if he does?”

“
He’s my husband, Eric. It matters.”

“
Not anymore.”

“
Why not?”

“
Because you, my friend, are immortal now. Everything’s
changed. You’re not just David’s little human girl, drinking blood
from a big bad predator. If you don’t feed from a vampire, you get
blood starved. He has to get used to it.”

“
I suppose. It’s not like I can choose which species to
survive on. Like you said, I kinda have to eat
vampires.”

Eric chuckled. “Well, you can
drink
from me, but the idea of being
eaten isn’t so appealing.”

“
Ha-ha. You’re so funny. Not.”

Eric rolled up
his sleeve and held his arm out. “Okay, so, vampire etiquette
one-oh-one; the wrist isn’t as intimate as the neck. If you offer
the wrist it’s like offering a can of drink to a friend; if you
offer the neck, it’s like sharing straws at a milk-bar.”

“
Nice analogy.” I nodded, positioning my fingers on his arm.
“Can I use my teeth with you?”

“
I’m not immune. I had a choice of drinking either Mike’s or
your blood for immunity, but, well, Mike’s a guy, and you’re
the untouchable
.”

“
I’m not untouchable. You can drink my blood.”

“
No way.” He sat back a little. “Not worth my life. And Mike
says the same. You’re off limits to all vampires.”

Great. I’m a shrine.
“Well, can’t
you get immunity from Morgaine?”

He shook his
head. “Only from a Created Lilithian’s venom. If you bit me, I’d
still die.”

“
Well, even then, it’s better than nothing. At least you
couldn’t be paralysed by the Created.”

“
True. I don’t know, maybe I will drink it, but…just not from
Morgaine.” He shuddered a little, smiling.

“
You don’t like Morgaine?”

“
She’s okay. She’s just a little bossy. I don’t wanna
accidently have sex with her.”

“
Hu!” I leaned back. “What does that mean?”

“
Blood lust.”

“
I thought you said it doesn’t have to be about the
lust?”

“
It doesn’t. You can drive the lust to the back of your mind
when you have to. You and I?” He motioned between us. “We have to.
Morgaine and I? We don’t. It’d be too tempting to just give
in.”

“
Oh.” I nodded.

“
Just drink. Talking about Morgaine and sex makes me
queasy.”

“
Okay.” I laughed, then pressed my fingernail to Eric’s skin,
but nothing happened. “Um. I don’t think I’m strong enough yet—not
without my teeth.”

“
Oh, okay, sorry.” He made a cut, and I closed my eyes,
breathing the sweet, heady scent of warm sugar. The white cloud of
hunger consumed everything else in the room then; I leaned forward,
formed a seal around his wound and rolled the blood to the back of
my throat with my tongue. Unlike the night he fed me when I was
first rescued, the absence of fear and grief opened up a new kind
of world; a hot-cold sensation travelled along my arms and legs,
pulsing blood that couldn’t decide on a climate. I could hear every
sound around me, even the scuffling of a mouse in the roof,
somewhere on the edge of the house—over Emily’s room. The hot-cold
in my legs flooded up a little higher, finally deciding on heat in
the form of excitement. Then, as the hunger eased, a soft moan
escaped my lips, thoughts impure stirring within me.

“
Amara,” Eric said with a laugh, “I’m trying not to think
inappropriately, right now—those noises aren’t helping.”

I pulled my
tongue from the small wound and sat back, wiping my mouth on my
arm. “I’m sorry. It’s just—it feels like forever since I’ve had
blood.”

“
Did you enjoy it?”

Breathing
through a smile, I said, “Yeah. It’s different drinking from you,
though.”

“
Because I’m a guy?”

“
Yeah. I see what you mean about pushing the lust back. I
don’t get that same feeling with Em.”

“
Give it time.” He nodded. “You will.”

“
Really?”

He nodded
again, his eyes glistening with his grin.

I looked up at
my unmoving David. “Do you think he knows what we were doing?”

“
Yeah, I’d say he’s pretty clued in.” Eric nodded at David’s
only uncharred body parts.

“
Oh my God. Is he…clenching his fingers?”

Eric laughed
aloud. “Yup.”

He’s awake!
“Well—” I rolled my shoulders back, composing my over-excitement,
“—if you don’t want me to drink Eric’s blood, David, you’re just
gonna have to get better and feed me yourself.”

Eric laughed.
“Let’s see what he does if I drink yours.”

“
He’d probably go all “Return of the Mummy” and start
zombie-walking after you.”

David took
another short, raspy breath, and Eric and I held ours until it
stopped again. “Do you think that was a laugh?” I asked.

“
Laughter
is
the best medicine.”

“
Yeah, and I bet worrying your wife’s gonna munch on some
guy’s arm is probably a good motivator for recovery,
too.”

“
Perfect, I’d say.” He licked his thumb and swiped a smear of
blood away from his wrist, cleaning it up before rolling his sleeve
back down. “In all seriousness, though, Amara, I mean no offence to
David by giving you blood. I just—you needed it.” He shrugged one
shoulder and grinned.

“
I’m sure it’s okay. Surely he won’t expect me to eat only him
for the rest of forever.”

Eric raised
one brow, holding back a tight smile. “You don’t know David very
well, then.”

“
Well, right now, he has to deal with it. It’s not like he can
tell me how he’s feeling.”

“
Emily can,” Eric said. “Imagine my surprise when I heard
about her ability to feel David’s feelings.”

“
Is it rare?”

“
These days, yeah.”

I sat back
down and sighed aloud. That worries me—the whole connection David
and Emily have—especially if they’ve been blood sharing. I mean,
David would never cheat, I’m sure, but why wouldn’t he tell me he’s
drinking Emily’s blood—especially knowing how I feel about their
‘friendship’.

“
What ya thinkin’, beautiful girl?” Eric asked, leaning his
back against the mattress.

“
Just the whole David and Em thing.” I looked down.

“
Amara?” Eric paused; I looked at his eyes. “David loves you,
okay. Everything he does, every thought he ever has is for you. I
don’t need to read minds to know that. He and Emily have a
connection, and yeah, we don’t know what that is, maybe it’s a
distant ancestral one, who knows, but he loves you—only you.
Okay?”

“
You seem pretty sure about that.”

He sat taller and glanced once over his shoulder, lowering
his voice, “Do you understand, Amara, that he knew they’d throw him
on the fire? Back in the days of Lilithian reign, when a vampire
was killed, Lilith threw them on the fire to be sure. I wasn’t even
born then, but even I know that.” Eric looked at David. “And he
knew that. He did it for you—not just to save you, but to
keep
you
safe.”