The Heart's Ashes (80 page)

“
How so?”

“
Until you came along, any vampire who bound them-selves to a
human, had to kill that human.”

“
Why?”

“
Because the spirit bind is eternal, unless the vampire of
which inflicted it either changes the human, or dies by the hand of
the affected. The act of murder against one you so strongly love
shatters the soul, and so, the bind dies with the
vampire.”

“
How can
I
change that?”

“
Well, with the gift of your venom, vampires may once again
choose death, instead of killing the human. In many cases, the pair
have been in love, just like you were with my son, and the pain of
either separation or death has caused much anguish.”

“
If David had bound me to him, is that what would’ve happened
with us?”

“
If you were not approved for the Change, yes.”

Pieces of my
life puzzle slipped across an imaginary table and fit together
before my eyes. “Doesn’t sound like it’s been a whole lot of fun
living as a vampire these past thousand or so years.”

Arthur laughed
warmly. “All that will change now.”

“
Unless I decide to run away.”

He clicked his
tongue, going quiet for a second. “Pain can make us look past
what’s important; I know this better than most. But I know you will
do the right thing; I feel a strong woman rising beneath this
frightened little girl before me.”

“
I’m not so sure there’s anything strong about me.”

“
That’s because, right now, your grief is consuming, and I—”
he closed his lips first before speaking again, “—I imagine you
must be plagued with confusion, for grieving Jason,
also.”

I drew a quick
intake of breath.

“
Your spirit bind was not physical, I assume—since it was a
dream?”

I shook my
head.

“
But still just as strong,” he said, nodding. “Your love for
David must have been something very special—to have survived a
spirit bind. I’ve not heard of it before.”

I smiled up at
Arthur. “I never thought of it that way.”

“
Perhaps—” his gaze narrowed, “—with your strength gaining
every day, now, being that Lilithians and vampires are not bound by
these ties, it will fade, in time.”

“
I hope so. My mind believes it loves Mike, too—since Jason
pretended to be him.”

“
How fascinating.” He touched his chin.

“
No, it’s devastating. Mike deserves to be happy, but he’ll
never move on while I tie him to me with my heart.”

“
You are a good person, my young princess. You have much
empathy and compassion,” Arthur said, “your spirit does not want,
and your heart does not suffer greed. You will be a great
queen.”

“
I wish everyone would stop saying that. I’m not ready to lead
people.”

“
No, of course not. My lady, these things take time. For now,
though, we need to keep you safe, develop your powers.”

“
What powers will I have?”

“
Everyone is different.” His eyes radiated kindness, as if he
were talking to a small child. “I have the power of physical
manipulation, David and Jason had the mind—”

“
Why did you tell me about him,” I cut in. “About Jason and
the blood oath? Do you expect me to forgive him?”

“
Not forgive him, my dear, but when you lay awake at night,
crying for what he did to you—” he touched my face; I forced myself
not to turn away, “—I want you to know that he was always in more
pain, that he never intended to live with what he did to you. He
knew death was his only option when all was said and
done.”

“
I’m glad he’s dead.” I folded my arms.

Arthur looked
down at the ground between his feet. “Despite your hatred for him,
I loved him. He was my son. David was my son. And now, I have lost
them both.”

“
I’m sorry.”

“
It’s not your fault, Amara. It’s this blood feud.” He slammed
a fist into his open palm. “This started before my boys’ time, and
yet it tore them apart, forced me to break a promise to my dying
bother that I would not turn his descendants unless it was to save
their lives. He would look down on me in scorn for knowing it was
that decision that took it from them.”

“
It’s not your fault, either, Arthur. If you hadn’t turned
them, they’d have been dead in the war.”

“
This is true.” He looked, thoughtful, to the day above. “It
is immensely unjust that all of you have fallen victim to this war,
and I want it to stop. I want peace,” he said. “
You
can bring that. You can bring
order to our society. Think how many lives you will save, Amara, by
ridding the world of Drake.”

“
It’s a big responsibility, Arthur,” I said in a low
voice.

“
One you do not have to bear alone.”

“
But, who do I trust? I mean, I always make mistakes, trust
people I shouldn’t.”

Arthur leaned over and lifted my face again, seeking the eye
contact he so constantly desired. “The child you were to have with
my son would have had the power to free the Immortal Damned—to free
me. I want this nightmare to end.” He nodded to the lake where
children ran by with buckets and spades. “I wanted
that
life. So many of us
do. And I know you do not trust me, but why would I sabotage the
one chance I had at escaping from this, just to see the girl my
dead son loved be hurt? I’m a prisoner, Amara. I am bound to the
Council for all eternity.”

“
David left the Council? Why can’t you?”

“
David was sentenced to a life of torture for leaving,” he
said sternly. “I don’t want to be hunted. I want a family, a life,
and one day, to die. The peace of an eternity in Heaven is a dream
I had long forgot. I want that.” He held out his arms, showing the
clear veins. “Not this.”

“
Oh.”

Arthur looked
at the sky again then. “I can help you, my dear. This nightmare
must end—only you can free us.”

I scoffed,
grinning. “That’s a little far-fetched, don’t you think?”

He let out a
breath through a smile and looked back at me. “No more than having
a conversation with a vampire.”

I laughed
softly when he flashed his bright white fangs. He seemed so young,
with a special kind of energy around him, which made me want to
tell him all my problems and spend the day laughing about how silly
it all seemed. “Thanks, Arthur.”

“
For what, my dear?”

“
For making me smile. It’s not so easy lately.”

He bowed his
head. “It is an honour.”

We sat in
silence for a few minutes then, watching spring burst to life in
the gardens and trees around the lake.

“
Amara?”

“
Yes, Arthur?”

“
Will you accept me as your friend and counsel?”

I nodded. “I
will, but…suspiciously.”

“
Guilty until proven innocent, huh?” He smiled.

“
Something like that.”

“
Well, I can live with that, for now.” We stood up, and he
took both my hands, kissing one, then the other. ‘‘I must bid you
adieu.”

I nodded.

“
David was a lucky man, to have held you for even a breath. I
know your beautiful face brought him a kind of joy he had never
imagined before.”

I lowered my
chin; Arthur smiled lovingly.

“
Thank you, Arthur. That means a lot to me.”

“
Farewell, my dear. I will keep the memory of your smile in my
heart while I am away.” He rested his hand over his chest and
bowed. “I hope that when we next meet, it shall be under happier
tidings.”

“
Arthur,” I called as he turned away.

“
Yes, my dear?”

“
Please?” I walked up to him and stared into his face.
“Straight up, okay, no lies. Are you really on our
side?”

His eyes
focused then softened. “Yes.”

I watched for
the same hint of lies David always showed. Nothing. “And, Jason? He
really—he didn’t want to hurt me?”

“
Not you. What you are, according to his blood oath, but never
you—never the girl he was in love with.”

My throat went
dry.

“
I shall see you soon, Amara.” Arthur stroked my face once,
then disappeared.

The hard
ground felt infinitely empty with his words and truths lingering in
the space behind him.

Jason didn’t
want to hurt me? Oh, God. I folded over, clutching my stomach; he
gave me the chance to kill him—to break the spirit bind, and I
refused.

Before the
tears flooded my cheeks, Mike materialised behind me, his arms
around my shoulders, clutching his wrists over my chest as I stood
up again. “You okay?”

“
Did you—did you hear?” I sobbed.

“
Yes, baby.” He kissed my head. “We all heard it—all of
it.”

“
Did—did David?”

“
Yes, he was listening, too.” Mike turned me to face him and
rested his hands on my shoulders—keeping me at arms-length.
“Morgaine wants to see you.”

“
Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” I wiped my nose on my
wrist. “I just need to calm down first.”

“
Okay, take your time?” He went to walk away.

“
Mike?”

“
Yeah?”

“
When were you planning to tell me you’re leaving, to go to
this…Loslethal place, or whatever it is?”

He chuckled
softly. “It’s Loslilian Manor. I uh—I’m heading out there early to
train new recruits and get to know the landscape before we send for
you.”

“
So you’re leaving me—alone?”

“
No, Ara. Not alone.” Mike stepped closer, but stopped a step
away. “Emily’s staying here. I’ll come back a few days a week to
train you, and when you’re full strength, we’ll move you out to
Loslilian with me.”

“
What about David?”

“
He has to stay here.” Mike nodded once. “Even when you leave,
Ara, we have to maintain, to everyone except this small circle,
that David’s dead.”

I nodded, half
shrugging. “Okay. But if you think you’ve got a hope in hell of
getting me to leave him, you’re delusional.”

Mike’s brows
rose, dragging a conceited smile with them. “You, my spoiled little
princess, will do as you’re told.”

I huffed,
wedging my hands on my hips.

“
It’s not just about you anymore, Ara. Look, it won’t be long.
David can come to Loslilian when we capture Drake.”

“
Fine. But I’m at least staying until he gets
better.”

“
We’ll see.” Mike folded his arms, then looked down, chewing
the inside of his lip. “So, when were you going to tell me about
the spirit bind?”

“
Mike?” I rolled my head to the side.

He stood back
and shook his head, his fist over his heart; “This is not a spirit
bind, Ara—it’s not. I love you. I always have. Always will.”

“
I know, but I—”

“
But you don’t love me?” He nodded, his Australian accent
slipping back into place.

I shook my
head. “Not real love.”

Mike walked
backward, one step at a time. “Right. Got it.”

I let him take
the heartbreak—let him walk across the road with it, a slightly
hunched, sweeping step as he pinched the bridge of his nose, not
looking back. He needed to hurt; he needed to feel like I’d moved
on in order to find that peace himself.

I waited until
he closed the front door, then plonked down on the park bench. I
hadn’t counted on him finding out about the bind—especially not
like that.

A cold calm
blanketed the lakeside park. All the children had run home, leaving
buckets and spades behind, the birds quietened in the trees and
parents walking with prams all disappeared. It was just me and a
steely breeze. And a distant bark of a dog. I spun around to a
deep, laboured panting, and my heart jolted, seeing a broad, sturdy
husky on the grass behind me. “Petey?”

He stared up
at me, his tongue hanging out over his white fur.

“
Petey, is that you?”

The dog
whimpered, shuffling forward a little.

“
Well, come here, boy?” I patted my lap, losing air to the
sudden mix of dog fur in my mouth and his heavy paws on my thighs,
like he was some kind of puppy that could actually fit on my lap.
“What are you doing here—how did you find me?” Surely, he didn’t
sniff me out. I looked around the park. Maybe he’s been here
before—with Jason. “Are you all alone now, Petey?” I asked, tugging
the fur on his neck to get his wet, dog-scented tongue off my
face.

Petey sat back
on his hindquarters and whimpered.

“
Do you need somewhere to live?” I looked deep into his
pale-blue eyes.

Petey shook
his head, his entire body following as if he were shaking off a
flea itch.

“
So, are you just…checking up on me?”

A high-pitched
whine sounded from the back of his throat and he nudged my chin
with his slimy nose.

“
I’m okay, Petey. I mean, I’m not, but I will be—when David
is.”

The dog
slumped heavily against me, and I rested my arms over him for a
minute. Somehow, the world didn’t seem so restless and empty with
Petey beside me.