The Heavenward Path (17 page)

    "There, you see? Trouble no matter what you do. What kind of love is that?"

    "Well, then, you do not have to go to Court. You can stay at my father's house where you were-"

    "You don't understand!" Suzume wailed. She jumped to her feet and glared down at me. "I see now. You are just jealous because you have to go back, even though you love Goranu. Just because you have family and obligations, you want me to go back, too."

    "I am not jealous!" I exclaimed, though I feared she might be right. "Suzume, doesn't your family depend on the work you do? Are they not counting on you to do well in life and better their situation?"

    "There! You see? All you can think of is nobility and rank and wealth. I don't want any of that. I want to stay here!"

    I became very annoyed with her. "You are being childish," I said coldly. "This is a hopeless dream." As I spoke, I felt as though ice was again forming around my heart, for surely my dreams were as hopeless as hers.

    Suzume defiantly stuck out her chin. "In our lessons in Tengu-Do, we were taught there is always a way around a problem. You may do as you please, but I will find a way to stay!" She flung the curtain aside and stomped out of the hut.

    "Suzume!" Gathering my kimonos around me, I ran after her. In her haste, I saw her rudely knock aside Goranu, who was approaching the hut.

    "Hey!" Goranu called after Suzume, but she did not stop or even look back.

    I went up to him and bowed. "I am so sorry, Goranu. Forgive her, she is upset."

    "And just what did you do to upset Kuroihane's ladylove so?"

    "Oh," I said, my feelings decidedly mixed. "She is known as his ladylove now, is she?"

    "Just teasing. Don't tell him I said that or he'll molt in embarrassment."

    I gazed sidelong at Goranu, wondering if I was known by the other tengu as his ladylove or if I wanted to be, or if he would find it embarrassing. I wished my heart would stop being foolish like Suzume's. I had too many obligations-I could not dare to have such impossible hopes. I caught him looking at me, and I blushed and turned my face away.

    "So," he went on. "What is the matter?"

    "Eh?"

    "With Suzume, silly girl. Why is she upset?"

    "Oh. We were talking about going home. To Heian Kyo."

    "Ah. I think I begin to see. I suppose you must. You have so much to do, after all."

    "Yes." My spirits sank further, although I do not know what I was hoping he would say.

    "However, you can't go just yet," he said cheerily. "You have to see your surprise."

    "My surprise?"

    "Yes! Look up." He pointed toward the sky.

    I did and saw a line of tengu flying high above us, one after the other. The line stretched from the cloud-covered mountain nearby, where Kai-Lung lived, over the barrier cliffs that separated the tengu valley from the rest of the world.

    "What are they doing?"

    "Doing you a favor, since my cousins are as impressed as I am with your cleverness. And what a wonderful trick it is, too! Hee hee. You must come and see."

    "A favor? A trick?"

    Goranu spun around three times, changing into the form of a huge raven. "Jump on!" He cawed through his large beak when he had finished.

    I noted that he was no longer shy about changing shape while I was watching, but I did not mention this to him. I clambered onto his back between his great black wings.

    "Ooof!" Goranu said, as he always does, and he ran down the center of the tengu village, then leaped into the air with mighty beats of his wings.

    I sighed and buried my face in his warm feathers, holding on tight. I wondered if this would be the last time I would ever fly on his back. I could scarcely bear the thought, and though I tried to stop them, my tears flowed.
Suzume might wish to stay in the tengu village. But if a great kami could grant my wishes, this is where I would wish to stay forever
. The hopelessness of such a dream overwhelmed me. I hoped that Goranu could not feel my tears through his feathers.

    Alas, all too soon we set down again, in the forest clearing where the remains of the ruined shrine lay. The entrance to Lord Chomigoto's tomb was open. The clearing was filled with tengu, each carrying something into the tomb. Some brought swords with golden scabbards, some brought polished gems, and some brought bronze mirrors and pieced jade screens.

    I slid off Goranu's back, horrified. "Oh no! What are they doing?"

    "Replenishing Old Blowhard's tomb. That was part of your sentence, wasn't it? This was Kai-Lung's idea, actually. He said that after hearing your story, when he got back to his cave and saw all the things he had and didn't need, he decided to give them to your cause and rallied us to deliver it. What-you don't seem pleased. Are you being ungrateful again?"

    "Oh, oh, forgive me, good Goranu. I am sure you all meant well-"

    "Meant well? Hah! We are hoping Old Blowhard is churning in his grave like the waters of Lake Biwa on a windy day."

    "Perhaps you meant kindness to me, then, but you do not understand." I nearly hopped up and down, my hands anxiously clasping and unclasping. "Jizo-bosatsu arranged that I still had to fulfill my debt for a reason. As soon as both parts of the gimmu are satisfied, I must answer to Lord Emma-O for my previous trespassing, which must mean my death. Your kindness has just brought me halfway closer to my doom!"

    Goranu stared at me a moment, his beak gaping open. "Oh. Oh my." He spun around and around until he was in young-man form again. "Should I stop-no, I can't. Kai-Lung would be most offended if we returned his treasure to him. And my fellow tengu would have fits. Really, Mitsuko, you should have told me this sooner."

    "Forgive me, Goranu, but you did not ask, and I did not think it would matter so."

    "Yes, well, as the saying goes, we would all be wiser if we lived backwards." Despite his joking manner, Goranu's face was pale and his brows furrowed with worry. "But you said you were halfway to your doom. What is the other half?"

    "That I should gather the descendants of the villagers who lived here so that they might offer respects to Lord Chomigoto again."

    "Oh!" Goranu exhaled a great sigh of relief. "Well. That should take forever, shouldn't it? Nothing to worry about. You're still safe."

    "I suppose so." I stared down at my feet.

    "Is she being ungrateful again, Highness?" asked Kuroihane, passing by with an armful of silk.

    "On the contrary," said Goranu. "She is so overcome with gratitude, she cannot express herself."

    "Heh," Kuroihane snorted, and he continued into the tomb.

    Goranu looked down at me. "So, Mitsuko-san, what do you wish to do now?"

    "I… I would like to go to my sister's house, since it is nearby. I should let her know that I am all right. Perhaps there I can think about what to say to my father when I get home."

    "Very well. The way is not long. But it is getting late, and there are wild things in this forest. You should not go alone. May I walk with you?"

    "Yes. Certainly."

    With an expansive sweep of his arm and a bow, Goranu indicated the way out of the clearing and the path that led toward the Western Road. I followed him into the forest, leaving behind the clattering, chattering tengu filling Lord Chomigoto's tomb with Kai-Lung's treasure.

    Goranu and I walked down the path in silence. The forest was very quiet except for the occasional birdcall and the padding of our feet on the ground. The air was cool and pleasant, scented with pine and flowers of the forest. There was no wind. The slanting sunbeams of the late afternoon turned the pine needles golden, and the world seemed to shimmer with a precious, magical light. I tried to let all of it seep into my memory, for I did not know if I would ever walk with Goranu beside me again. I wanted to remember what it was like, so that in future days of sorrow I could recall it to console myself.

    "You are pensive," Goranu said at last. "You mortal girls are so moody. First Suzume nearly knocks me over, and now you won't even speak to me."

    "Forgive me. She and I are both preoccupied with our cares," I said.

    "Oh? What cares would the two of you share?"

    I did not want to tell him my true thoughts. Being a tengu, he would probably just laugh at me. Or worse, be serious and tell me how foolish Suzume and I were. Or worse yet, I might again reawaken his hopes of learning the sutras to better his chance of meeting me as a mortal in a future life. So I said, "Neither Suzume nor I wish to go to Court."

    "Ah, the Imperial Court," Goranu rhapsodized. "I haven't been there in a long while. I will admit it is a most impressive place. Why shouldn't you want to live there?"

    I looked at him in surprise. "You mean you, a tengu, have been in the Imperial Palace? More than once?"

    "Heh. We tengu visit the Court more often than mortals might care to think. So much opportunity to play delicious pranks there. That is where I first saw you-oh, I think I told you that. But it is so easy to slip in. There are so many bureaucrats running round, no one notices if there is one extra. Several highborn gentlemen there know me as Lord Atamasaru, Minister of the Yin-Yang Office of the Hour of the Monkey. Impressive title, neh?"

    "But there is no such office, is there?"

    "Of course not! But your Imperial bureaucracy is so huge and so constantly changing, nobody knows that. All I have to do is strut around in a black robe and a tall black hat, and I am treated with the greatest of courtesy, just in case I might be important. It's quite amusing, really."

    "But… but if you can come to Court… then you could visit me there after I return to Heian Kyo, couldn't you?"

    Goranu raised an eyebrow at me. "What, come to your pavilion when you are the number one wife of the boy-prince Komakai? Do you wish to cause a scandal, or do you just want me to see how happy you will be without me? Really, you can be quite cruel, Mitsuko-san."

    "No! No!" I shoved my fists into my wide sleeves. "You do not understand. I will
not
be happy. I do not want to marry Prince Komakai! I want-" I pressed my sleeves against my mouth to keep my foolish words from spilling out.

    "What is it you want?"

    "I… I do not know."

    "Hmmm. And Suzume? What does she want?"

    "She said she wants to stay in the tengu village and live among you. That is impossible, of course, neh? But she has taken too much to heart what you taught us in Tengu-Do-that there is always a way around problems. She is determined to discover some way that a mortal may live among tengu."

    "Is she?" mused Goranu. "Well. Suzume has certainly taken to tengu thought better than any mortal I have known. If anyone can solve that puzzle, it could be her."

    Again, mad jealousy boiled up in me-that Suzume might do what I could not. I did not like to hear Goranu praise her so. But I said nothing for fear of what ugly words I might speak. Instead, I trudged in silence beside Goranu, feeling that the beauty of the afternoon had been quite ruined.

    My footsteps slowed as I perceived through the trees ahead a clearing that would be the Western Road. I thought I could just make out a corner of the roof of Riko and Sotoko's house. I tried to think what would be the proper way to say good-bye to Goranu.

    "What if Suzume is right?" Goranu asked out of nowhere.

    "What? What do you mean?" I was irritated that he interrupted my thoughts to speak of her.

    "What if there is a way that a tengu such as me and a mortal such as you can… remain in each other's company. Without learning painful sutras." Goranu stopped walking and gazed at me so intently that I blushed again. "If there is a way, would you want me to find it, too, Mitsu-chan?"

    My breath caught in my throat. My conscience kept reminding me of my father, of my duty to my clan and to my ancestors, and to all others who rely upon the power of the Fujiwara. But my heart spoke first. "Yes. Yes I would… Goru-chan."

    A tiny smile curled his lips, and a light appeared within his eyes. "Then I will do my tengu-best to discover it. After all, I cannot let a mortal be better at Tengu-Do than I am, can I?"

    I smiled back at him. "Of course not. That would be most embarrassing, neh?" We continued walking down the path, but my footsteps felt ever so much lighter.

    "However," Goranu said, "if you should happen to use Tengu-Do to think of a way before I do, I will manage to forgive you somehow."

    "I am glad to hear that." All too soon, only a few footsteps farther, I came to the edge of the Western Road. The gate to my sister's house was just beyond it. I blinked and realized, while I had been pleasantly distracted, I had not thought of a way to say good-bye.

    "So. Here we are," Goranu said.

    "Yes," I said, but I did not step onto the road. My feet did not want to move.

    "How long will you be staying with your sister?"

    "I do not know. A day or two, at least. I hope. I need time to think about what to tell my father. About… what to do."

    "Yes. Good. Take your time. Time is good. For thinking. And things like that."

    "Yes."

    "Yes."

    Quite suddenly he pulled me into his arms, and we held on to each other. We did not speak. It seemed we stayed that way for a long time, until the sun went behind the mountains. Perhaps it was only a minute or two, and I only wanted it to be forever.

    But at last, Goranu pulled away from me. We did not say good-bye. He brushed his long nose against my cheek, and then, with a flurry of feathers, he was in bird form again and flapped his great black wings. I did not even shed a tear as I watched him soar high into the sky.