The Hitwoman Hunts a Ghost (3 page)

“With a quarter,” Katie explained, reaching under her a pillow and holding up a coin for me to examine.

“Pretty cool.”

“Very cool,” she corrected.

“See you tomorrow, Katie,” Delveccio called from the doorway, beaming at my niece affectionately.

“See ya, Mr. D.!”

“You’ll keep Dominic company?” Delveccio asked, glancing toward his grandson’s still form.

“Uh-huh. And when he wakes up, I’ll tell the nurse to call you ASS-CAP.”

Laughing softly, Delveccio corrected, “ASAP. Have them call me ASAP.” Still chuckling, he left the room.

“What’s ASS-CAP mean?” Katie asked as soon as he was out of earshot.

“ASAP.  It means as soon as possible,” I replied.

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Why is that good?”

“Because,” she explained carefully, “an ass is a mule or donkey.  Mommy told me that once.”

I imagined my sister Theresa telling her daughter that she was calling her husband, who I always referred to as Dirk the Jerk, a donkey.

“And a cap is a hat,” Katie continued seriously. “And I think a donkey would look funny in a hat, don’t you?”

Unable to argue with the kid’s logic, I said, “You’re right. Plus, a donkey has big ears… how would that work with a hat?”

Katie’s eyes grew wide as she considered the possibility. I could practically see the gears in her little brain spinning before she flashed me a mischievous grin.

I narrowed my eyes and peered at her with exaggerated suspicion. “What are you thinking?”

“What would an
elephant’s
hat look like?” Katie asked, bursting into giggles.

“That would have to be a really big hat.”

“Really big”.” She squealed with delight.

“Speaking of elephants, why don’t I read to you for a while?” I reached for a Babar the Elephant book that rested beside her bed.

“Three?” She bargained.

“One,” I countered, knowing full well it wasn’t the end of negotiations.

“Two,” she wheedled.

“Two.”

“And
Where the Wild Things Are
?”

“You’re pushing it, kid,” I teased, but the truth was I was glad she was getting back to her normal self. For so long after the accident, I’d worried she’d never open her eyes again. Then I’d worried she’d never have another conversation. Now, I just worried I wasn’t up to the job of parenting her.

Before I could begin reading the book, Katie piped in with, “You know who else would look funny in a hat?”

“Who?”

“Godzilla!”

The idea of having Godzilla harassing me again about needing a new place to live forced me to run into a tiny, hole-in-the-wall pet shop on the way to pick up Aunt Leslie from her Narcotics Anonymous meeting like I’d promised.

I was in the rear of the store, back where they keep all the creepy-crawly things that pet owners who love sweet, fluffy animals are grossed out by, when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway as I picked up the first glass container I saw.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Ms. Lee.”

Startled by yet another call from Ms. Whitehat, I almost dropped God’s new home.

“I’ve been informed that the dog you’re looking for prefers bacon-flavored treats,” Ms. Whitehat said.

I spun around in a circle, trying to figure out how she could see me.

“They’re closer to the front of the store.”

I swallowed hard, totally freaked out that she was watching me.

“Good hunting, Ms. Lee.” She hung up.

Realizing that she was probably still observing me, I did my best not to act totally creeped out as I finished my shopping and returned to my car.

Despite the fact I bought the first glass enclosure I spotted, I was still a little late getting to the church.

Fortunately, someone had been kind enough to wait with her until her tardy limo service showed up, so all she said when she got into the car was, “I had the
best
coffee.”

“In a church basement?”

“Did you tell Armani I said hi?” she asked, changing the subject. “Did you have a good day at work?”

“Yes and no.” I tightened my grip on the steering wheel of the car as I remembered my exchange with Ms. Whitehat.

“Did you see Katie?”

“Of course.”

“She was in good spirits today,” Leslie said.

“She certainly was.”

“Her resilience is amazing.”

“It certainly is.”

We lapsed into silence, each lost in our own thoughts.

When we got back to the Bed & Breakfast, DeeDee was out in the yard with Aunt Susan, who was busy attacking a bush with pruning shears.

The moment I got out of the car, Susan demanded, “You have to do something about her. She’s driving me crazy.”

“Were you barking in the basement?” I asked the Doberman in my sternest tone.

“Bark no,” she whined.

“Not the dog, your sister,” Susan huffed.

Ever since my younger sister, Marlene, gave up her life as a streetwalker, she and Susan had been going at it. For some reason I couldn’t fathom, Susan had decided it was my job to keep Marlene in line.

Since I hadn’t been able to boss Marlene around when she was ten, I was fairly certain she wouldn’t listen to me now. Still, I had to try. After all, my aunts were kind enough to put a roof over my head and would be helping out with Katie when I finally brought her home.

“I’ll talk to her, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Maybe you should ask Armani for advice on how to deal with her,” Leslie suggested, picking up a branch and throwing it for the dog to fetch.

Aunt Susan rolled her eyes at the suggestion and returned to viciously attacking the bushes. “I don’t care how you do it, just do it.”

I sighed heavily. After a long day, working and visiting with Katie, I would have much rather taken a hot shower and vegged in front of the TV with God and beaten him in a round or two of
Wheel of Fortune
. Instead, I was going to lecture a grown woman.

I knew before I entered the house and trudged up the stairs that it wasn’t going to end well.

Still, I did my best to sound upbeat when I knocked on Marlene’s closed door. “You have a second?”

She didn’t answer, but I heard movement from the depths of the room. So I waited patiently, lifting the corner of my mouth in a semblance of a smile.

Marlene yanked the door open and leaned in the doorframe, her expression sullen.

“Hey,” I said with faux cheeriness.

Marlene folded her arms across her chest. “What do you want?”

“Honestly, to take a hot shower and to sit in front of the TV, but that’s not happening.”

Dropping her arms to her sides, Marlene asked, “What does Aunt Susan want you to do instead? Kick me out?”

“Nobody’s kicking you out,” I said quickly. “She just wanted me to see if I can arrange some sort of peace deal.”

“Maggie Lee, the great negotiator,” Marlene mocked.

I shrugged. “It’s been a hard time for everyone.”

Marlene nodded slowly.

“I know Susan can be a pain in the ass with her ways of doing things, but she means well.”

Marlene sighed.

“And I know you’re a grown woman who doesn’t like being told what to do,” I continued, not quite sure where I was going with my little peacekeeping speech.

“Here comes the giant ‘but,’” Marlene said.

“But,” I said slowly, “could you cut her some slack?”

Marlene’s eyes narrowed and I knew she was preparing an argument.

“For my sake?” I pleaded quickly. Sure, it was a cheap, emotionally manipulative move, but it was the best I had at the moment.

Pursing her lips, a lot like Aunt Susan does when she’s making a decision, Marlene considered my request. “I’ll try,” she finally said grudgingly.

Flashing her a genuine smile, I promised, “Thanks. I’ll ask the same of Susan.”

Marlene rolled her eyes. “Yeah, like she’ll listen to you.”

“Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

“And maybe Mom will get released from the nut house tomorrow.”

I recognized the bitterness in her tone. I’d often felt the same way. “Have you seen her lately?”

“No.” She cocked her head to the side and regarded me curiously. “Have you?”

“She attended Alice’s wedding and I’ve visited a couple of times since.”

“You’re kidding.”

I shook my head. “She’s better than she was. If you want, you can come with me the next time I visit.”

She shook her head.

I shrugged. “Okay, if you change your mind, the offer stands.”

Something tickled my lower legs. I looked down and saw Piss, the cat, wrapping herself around them.

Looking up at me, she meowed, “Hey there, Sugar.”

“Such a pretty kitty.” Marlene’s face brightened as she bent to pet the one-eyed, half-her-ear missing cat.

“Bless her heart. Is she blind?” Piss asked, hiding behind me.

“What’s his name?” Marlene asked.

“Her,” I corrected mildly.

“What’s
her
name?”

“That’s the million-dollar question.” So far the cat had refused to tell me her name. I looked down at Piss expectantly, hoping she’d fill in the blank.

She stayed as silent as the Sphinx, but moved forward so Marlene could stroke her.

“The vet I got her from called her Piss,” I told Marlene. “So until a better name is offered up, that’s what we’re calling her.”

A genuine chuckle, a sound I hadn’t heard in forever, escaped my sister’s lips and suddenly I didn’t feel quite so tired.

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Piss,” Marlene said, rubbing the spot behind our feline companion’s good ear.

“Truly my pleasure”.” Piss purred happily.

“She likes you,” I told Marlene.

“At least somebody does,” she muttered.

“Hey,” I said, crouching down so I was eye-level with her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

A twinge of guilt twisted my gut. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit distracted, but I’m really glad you’re back.”

Marlene shook her head. “Between playing peacemaker, your job, and taking care of Katie, it’s a miracle you have time to sleep. You’re practically Superwoman.”

I wondered if she’d think the same thing if she knew I moonlighted as a sometime-assassin
and
I’d been blackmailed by a shadowy organization to find a missing dog. I didn’t ask.

Instead I said, “Susan, Loretta, and Leslie have been a huge help with Katie.”

“They always did have a soft spot for orphans,” Marlene murmured.

I nodded sadly. Even though we weren’t technically orphans, with a mother with mental health issues and a conman/thief for a father, we’d often felt like we were.

“It must run in the family,” Marlene said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve got Katie, Miss Piss here, the dog, and the lizard. You’re running your own mini-orphanage.”

“She has a point,” the cat meowed.

“If you break into song and start belting out ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life
,
’ I’m disowning you,” I joked, slowly getting to my feet.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Marlene said, thinking I’d been talking to her, when in reality, the threat had been aimed at Piss.

The cat narrowed her good eye at me. “Have you ever heard a cat sing?”

I shook my head.

“Consider yourself lucky.”

Lucky is not something I consider myself, so later when I was walking DeeDee after dinner and a strange woman approached me carrying a leash, but no dog, I wasn’t surprised she knew my name.

“You must be Maggie,” the woman said as she drew within earshot. She stopped a few paces away, eyeing DeeDee nervously.

I considered telling her she was mistaken, but I wasn’t sure how Ms. Whitehat would respond. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Candace.”

“Nice to meet you, Candace. This is DeeDee.”

“Hi!” the Doberman barked.

Poor Candace flinched at the greeting. “Is she dangerous?”

Considering DeeDee had twice attacked armed men who were after me, I couldn’t in good conscious say that she wasn’t dangerous. Realizing I momentarily had the upper-hand with Whitehat’s cohort, I said with a satisfied smile, “Only when I need her to be.”

The poor woman paled and I was pretty sure I saw the leash, clutched in her white-knuckled grip, shake. While she watched the dog, I took a moment to look her over.

If I had to guess, I’d say she was in her mid-twenties, but it was hard to tell since she sported an oversized pink baseball cap proclaiming, “Life is a Work in Progress” that obscured most of her face. Her cotton candy gingham capris and a matching embroidered flowery tee practically screamed “cute.”

As a rule, I’m not a fan of cute.

I’m even less of a fan of cute and terrified.

Taking pity on my new partner, I assured her. “She won’t hurt you.”

Her gaze flitted from the dog’s “grinning” countenance, which I must admit,
is
a bit frightening with all her shiny teeth, to my face, Candace said, “Are you sure?”

“Positive. You’re not much of a dog person, are you?”

She shook her head.

“And yet you’re supposed to help me find this missing dog?”

“You’re supposed to help me,” she corrected distractedly, watching carefully as DeeDee stalked a nearby squirrel.

“Don’t you dare,” I said.

I was talking to the dog, not wanting her to yank me off my feet by lunging at the bushy-tailed rat.

Unfortunately, Candace misunderstood. “Don’t what? Do you have a problem with my being in charge of this investigation?”

The sharpness of her tone caught DeeDee’s attention. “Trouble in?” she whined worriedly.

Candace took a step back. Then another.

“No,” I said simply, answering them both.

Both the dog and my new partner looked at me worriedly.

I took a deep breath, mentally counted to ten, and then asked Candace, “Is that the missing dog’s leash?”

“Dog miss?” DeeDee panted worriedly.

“No,” Candace said. “I just thought it would be a good idea to have one.”

“Is it wearing a collar?” I asked. “Because a leash without a collar isn’t going to do you much good.”