The Homecoming (15 page)

“The lady who left you with me wasn't your mommy, after all. She was not a very nice person, and she helped take you from your real mommy and daddy who loved you very much.”

Nick's eyes were enormous. “I had a daddy, too?”

The innocent question, straight to the heart of the matter in typical Nick-fashion, cut deep. Many times she'd worried about whether the lack of a man in her life would affect her son. She nodded. “You had a daddy, too.” Then she stopped again, marshalling her thoughts.

But Nick clearly was thinking thoughts of his own. “Was I kidcatched?”

“Kidnapped,” she corrected gently, though her son's creative word was actually closer to the truth. “Yes. When you were just one year old, bad people stole you.”

“What happened to that mommy and daddy?” he asked. “I bet they cried.”

“Oh, they did,” she assured him, her throat aching with the effort it took to force out the words in a normal tone. “They loved you very much and they were terribly sad when you were taken away. They called the police and everybody looked and looked, but no one ever found you.”

“You found me,” he pointed out.

“Yes, but I didn't know who you were.” She ran a hand through his silky blond hair. “I just knew you were the most wonderful little boy in the world and I wanted to be your mommy.”

“And you are!”

If she weren't working so hard not to break down, she might have laughed at his wondering tone. With a five-year-old's lack of comprehension, he apparently thought that because she wanted him, he was brought to her—rather than the other way around. He didn't fully realize that having a twelve-month-old infant dumped in her lap might not be every woman's idea of a miracle. Lucky for him, it had been hers.

She didn't say anything else, mindful of the therapist's advice to take it at Nick's pace. When he had digested the information and was ready to talk, she would tell him more.

But she'd forgotten the astute brain in that little head. He often surprised her with his intellect; why should today be any different?

“Hey, Mommy?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“What happened to my other mommy? Not the one who died. The other one. And the daddy?”

She realized Nick was a little confused about Margo, but since he'd gotten the gist of the explanation, she could save clarity for another time. Or Danny could, she amended, feeling the pain that was so rapidly becoming familiar fill her heart. “Well, I told you they missed you, right? The mommy was very, very sad, and after a little while she died.”

“What about the daddy? Did he die, too?” Death was an abstract concept to Nick, who'd never even seen a pet pass away, much less someone he loved. His tone was calm and interested.

“No,” she said. “The daddy didn't die. He's still alive and he knows you are, too, and he's very happy.”

“I have a daddy?” This was big news. She'd bet he was already imagining telling his little pal Zachary.

“You do.”

He considered this for a moment. “That's okay,” he decided finally. “I don't need more mommies 'cuz I already have you. But a daddy would be fun.” He looked at her again, suddenly vulnerable. “Right?”

“Right,” she said firmly. “Very fun. In fact, you've already been having fun with your daddy, only you didn't know he was your daddy.” She hadn't really planned on going quite this far today, but since Nick seemed to be dealing with it so well, she might as well keep talking.

“Who is he? It can't be Uncle Stu because he's got Aunt Patti and she's still alive.”

“Right. It's someone who's been playing with you a lot lately, someone who's been spending a lot of time—”

“Danny!” Nick all but shouted the name as she nodded. “Danny's my daddy!” He jumped from her lap and bounced up and down as if his legs were made of springs. “Oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy! Danny's fun,” he informed her, as if that were the most important criterion for the role of father. Then he stopped bouncing. “When's he coming over?”

“I don't know.” Though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she rose and headed for the telephone. “I guess I'd better call and ask him.”

 

While he was in the shower, Sydney had called to tell him she'd told Nick about his parentage. She'd left only a brief and impersonal message. He had no idea how Nick had taken the news.

Danny stood by the phone in his hotel room, wondering what his son was doing. What Sydney was doing. Were they crying together? Was Nick devastated at the thought of leaving his home?

Of course he is, you idiot. What kid wants to leave everything familiar and go away with some guy he's known a few days?

His mind immediately made the leap to Robbie Logan, torn from his family at nearly the same tender age Nick was now. It had scarred him deeply, if his involvement in the kidnapping ring was any indication. But it had scarred Danny as well. Sydney was right,
he acknowledged. He had been avoiding life. And it was time he stopped.

He reached for the phone book. He had no idea how to contact Robbie—Everett now—but the Logans probably would. For years he'd assumed they hated him. Assumed they blamed him for the kidnapping.

Now, thinking of Nick, he realized how very young he'd been. Maybe Leslie Logan hadn't been angry at him that day.

He held his finger beneath the Logans' number as he punched the buttons of the phone.

 

Two short hours later, he parked in front of a shabby apartment building. Consulting the address Leslie had given him, he found the proper door, knocked and waited.

The door opened so fast that the man inside must have been standing there waiting. He didn't speak for a moment, only stood there staring back at Danny.

He looks like his father. That was Danny's first thought. Tall and good-looking, although this man didn't project the air of self-confidence that was so much a part of Terrence Logan.

Everett Baker seemed apprehensive and Danny could practically see what it took him to make the social effort. Finally, he said, “You haven't changed.”

Danny almost smiled. “Your mother said the same thing.”

“I was sorry to hear about your son,” Everett said.

Danny gauged his face, seeing nothing but sincer
ity. Still… “Before we go one step further, I have to ask you— Did you have anything to do with Noah's kidnapping?”

Everett stood silent for a moment, then said, “I don't blame you for asking.” Then he shook his head. “No. But I suspect one of the men I was involved with might have. I've already given the police all the information I have.”

Danny gauged Everett's expression. He appeared to be telling the truth. “Thank you,” he said more quietly. “I had to know.”

“Everett?” A slender, pretty woman with brown hair stood behind him. “Are you going to invite him in?” Her voice was light and teasing, and Danny was astonished by the expression of tenderness that passed over his childhood friend's face.

Everett opened the door wider. “Please come in,” he said. “I'd like to introduce you to my fiancée, Nancy Allen.”

 

Much later, sitting in his solitary hotel room, Danny was still thinking about Everett Baker. His childhood friend was clearly changed by his kidnapping experience. Probably the only thing that had saved him was Nancy Allen, the woman he was going to marry. According to Everett, she'd believed in him long before he believed in himself. It warmed a tiny part of Danny's heart to see that his old friend might finally find the happiness and love that must have been denied him for most of his life.

The telephone rang and he lifted the receiver. “Hello?”

“Are you coming to work today or not?” It was Trent, sounding as if he were trying to be belligerent, but failing.

“Don't think so,” said Danny.

“What's wrong?” Trent was instantly suspicious.

Danny sighed. “I visited Everett Baker today.”

“You're kidding!”

“And now I'm looking at my own life and not liking some of the things I'm seeing.”

“Such as?”

“I'm going to ask you a straight question. Answer it straight or I'll come over there and kick your ass.”

“At least that would be one way to get you into the office again.”

Danny smiled. Then he said, “Have I been wallowing in my own problems for too long?”

There was a long silence. “Who told you that?”

“Never mind. The answer is yes, isn't it?”

Trent exhaled heavily. “Hell, Danny, I don't know. Very few people would be qualified to tell you you're overdoing the grief thing. Look at what you've gone through in your life.”

“I know. But I think I might have had a chance to change that, and I blew it.” That was true. After this morning Sydney would never speak to him again, he was certain. Except for things pertaining to Nick.

“Ah, damn. Did you say something dumb to Sydney?”

“Why would you think that?”

“You're a guy,” Trent said dryly. “Ask Peter, or
Ivy's king, or any man you know. We have a distinct tendency to insert our feet into our mouths frequently. Shoes and all.”

“These were boots. Snowshoes. Skis, even.”

“Go get 'em out,” Trent said promptly. “Sydney is the best thing that's ever happened to you—and not just because she saved your son and was big-hearted enough to return him to you.”

Sydney is the best thing that's ever happened to you.
It was true. And he'd ruined it. He winced as he recalled the harsh words he'd thrown at her just after dawn. True happiness was a valuable thing. Trent and his sisters had found it, so had Everett. And so had he. Only he probably had demolished it when he'd hurt Sydney.

Was it possible there could be a life with her? Did he dare let himself believe it?

The answer was like a shotgun fired right beside his ear. Of course! He hadn't dared to let himself believe that his son was still living, and look how wrong he'd been about that. Now he had Nick back, but he would only be living half a life if Sydney wasn't a daily part of it. And not for Nick's sake.

She'd saved him.

He thought of the shattered hurt in her blue eyes and realized he might not get another chance. But he wasn't going to slink away without trying this time.

Picking up the phone book for the second time that day, he rapidly flipped through the pages. If he was going to try to get Sydney to forgive him, he had a lot to do today.

T
he doorbell rang just before five o'clock. Sydney took a deep, bracing breath.
You can do this,
she lectured herself.
You can.

“Danny!” Nick shouted. He leaped to his feet and began to race across the room. At the door, he paused and looked back at her. “May I open it?”

She nodded. Took another deep breath.

Nick yanked the door open.

“Hey, buddy,” Danny said. “How are you?”

Nick didn't answer. He stood very still, looking up at the big man. Sydney could only see him from the back. He looked very little and very vulnerable.

Danny crouched. “So you and your mommy had a talk, huh?”

Nick nodded, a hint of that vulnerability in his tone as he said, “Are you really my daddy?”

Danny took a deep breath. “Yeah. I really am.”

Nick tipped his head to one side. “An' you didn't want to let me get kidcatched?”

“No.” It sounded as if Danny nearly choked on the word but he forced a few more out. “I wish it had never happened.”

Nick thought some more. “Good,” he said. He reached out and took Danny's hand. “I have a new project for my next boys' club project. Will you help me? Daddies do that stuff, you know.”

Danny managed a smile. “Sure. I'll see what I can do.” As his son's small hand slipped into his, he looked across the room at Sydney, smiling. She looked away.

“I have a surprise for your mommy,” he said to Nick. “But we have to take her for a ride to see it.”

Dammit! That wasn't fair, and if Nick weren't standing there she'd have let him have it. Then she realized he'd done it
because
Nick was there. He knew that she wouldn't refuse in front of the child.

“Come on, Mommy!” Nick shouted. “You got a surprise! Let's go see it.”

She rose from the couch and retrieved her purse from the closet. “All right.” She trailed behind the two males, locking the door and pulling it closed. But when she got to Danny's car, he was holding her door open and Nick was already in the back, in a brand-new car seat.

She couldn't look at him. It just hurt too much, so
she scooted into the passenger seat with her head down. Danny went around to the driver's side.

It was a quiet trip, broken only by Nick's chatter as he made wild, ridiculous guesses about what the surprise could be. After twenty minutes, Danny pulled into a driveway with a gate across it. He lifted a small device and punched a button and the gate slid open. “Cool, huh?” he said over his shoulder.

“Cool,” Nick agreed. “Where we goin'?”

“Just up here.”

She was puzzled. Whom was he taking them to visit and why would he be opening their gate?

They drove along a short driveway around a curve. Trees grew closely on both sides of the driveway, but as they rounded the curve, the view opened up onto a spacious green lawn. Ahead of them was a stunningly beautiful house built of gray stone with lots of windows sparkling in the late-day light. It was a rancher on a small rise, but the hill fell away to the right and as they drove around and parked, she could see that there was a second story below the main level that opened onto an exquisite terrace with a swimming pool nearby.

“A pool!”

“Cool,” Danny finished dryly. “Let's go inside.”

“Who lives here?”

Sydney blessed her son. She hadn't had to ask a single question.

Danny didn't answer. Leaving Sydney to get out of the car and unbuckle Nick, he walked ahead to the
double front door and inserted a key from his pocket. Then he stood aside as Nick came flying up the walk. “Go on in,” he said.

Sydney walked past, doing her best not to brush against him. Then she stopped. The house was empty. Empty?

She turned to Danny, bracing herself to meet his eyes. “What's going on?” For once, Nick seemed speechless.

“I bought a house this afternoon,” he told her. His eyes were warm and there was no trace of the anger he'd spat at her earlier.

“Congratulations,” she said formally. She'd made the mistake before of thinking that look in his eyes meant something special, and she'd been wrong. She wouldn't fall for it again. Then she realized what the house meant. “You're staying in Portland? At least part-time?”

He nodded, smiling. “At least part-time. It depends on some other things.”

Like what?
But she didn't say it aloud.

His smile fell. “Aren't you going to ask me about those other things?”

She shrugged. “It's none of my business.”

“I think maybe it is,” he said. Then he turned to Nick. “Let's take Mommy out back.”

They walked through the house. It was utterly, utterly lovely. The kitchen was spacious and light, and Danny led them to French doors at its other end. “Out here,” he said.

Nick darted past him out the door. A second later she heard her son squeal, “Oh, boy! Ohboyohboyohboy!”

“Wha—?” She stepped onto the terrace. Danny's brother Trent stood at one side. Dancing around him on a leash was a puppy. A
huge
puppy. Black and fuzzy, and currently licking her son's face as he knelt on the ground beside it.

“Oh,” she said. “He's wanted a dog for so long. And this will be a perfect place to raise it.”

“I thought he might be a bear cub when I first saw him,” he said. “He's a Newfoundland puppy. Ten weeks old.”

“Just a baby,” she murmured.

“But I'm not sure I can keep it,” Danny said.

“What? Then you shouldn't have let him see it,” she began sharply. Then the smile on his face registered. Her heart stuttered but she told herself to ignore it. That smile wasn't for her. “What's going on?” she asked again, suspiciously. She just wanted to go home. Being this close to him was breaking her heart into even smaller pieces than it already was.

“The dog needs a family,” he told her. “Not just a lonely man and a little boy.” He took a deep breath. “Last night you told me you loved me. This morning I said some pretty unforgivable things. But, Sydney, I'm asking—
begging
—you to forgive me, anyway.”

She was stunned. Rooted to the spot. She felt tears sting her eyes.

“I'm a coward,” Danny told her. “It was a lot eas
ier to hide than to risk rejection. You were right about me being angry at Felicia. But what I also realized is I've given my past too much power over the rest of my life. I'm not going to let myself be afraid to take risks anymore. I promised myself that this morning.”

Sydney didn't know what to say. She wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him he wasn't a coward, that he was the bravest man she knew. But he hadn't said any of the words she most needed to hear, and she was the coward now, afraid to misinterpret his meaning.

Danny dug into his pants pocket. He withdrew a tiny jeweler's box, dropping onto one knee before her as he did so. “Sydney,” he said, “I love you. I dream of you all the time. Will you marry me? Not,” he rushed on, “just so we can give Nick a family, but because you love me, too.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again as she sank to her knees beside him. In his eyes, she saw the confidence and love she'd longed for. He'd found himself, she realized, and come to terms with his past.

And finally he could look at the future.

He flipped up the lid of the box to show her a striking, sparkling blue sapphire set amid several smaller diamonds. “It matches your eyes,” he said.

She took a deep breath. “I have loved you,” she said, “since the first time you kissed me on your island. Before I ever knew you were Nick's father. There's nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Danny smiled. He took the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger, then drew her to him and kissed her with all the passion he'd shown her in the past. “Will you live here in this house with me?”

“You and a young boy and a puppy?” she asked, laughing. “I'd love to.”

“There are several extra bedrooms,” he informed her.

“Danny!” She pretended shock. “Not in front of your son and your brother.”

He raised his eyebrows, laughing out loud. Somewhere along the way, she realized, Danny's laughter had returned. His smiles had grown from bare curls at the corners of his mouth to the beautiful, flashing grin she saw every day on the face of their son. “I meant for more children,” he said. “But if you want to test-drive all of them first, I guess I'm up for that.”

Now it was her turn to laugh.

Across the terrace, Nick turned and hollered, “Hey! Trent says he's my uncle now! Can I have this dog, Mommy? He can sleep on my bed and I'll feed him and everything!”