The Impossible Art of Falling (Impossible Art #1) (17 page)

“Here we are,” he said.

“Wow, this is beautiful.”

“I told you this was amazing. I like to come up here to think. It’s best early in the morning, before the cove gets overrun with cars. You know, tourists trying to look for deer and bear. Still, it is nice any time of day.” She looked down, far into the cove and saw a steady stream of cars on the small road. They looked like ants marching in line, heading back to their nest. “Even with the cars, it’s peaceful. We’re far enough away. The road doesn’t come all the way up here.”

Jena nodded in agreement.

“Cades Cove is one of the last areas that anyone inhabited in the park. When the Great Smoky Mountain National Park was formed, the government bought up the land, but those who lived here were allowed to stay until they died, as long as they did nothing to change their property. They couldn’t add electricity or plumbing. The goal was to let the cove go back to its natural state.”

“I bet many people just moved away then, didn’t they,” Jena asked.

“Sure, but some stayed. In fact, the last inhabitant died only about fifteen years ago.”

“Really? Wow. I can’t imagine living such a quiet life.” For a moment, Jena did imagine what it must have been like to live so simply, and she was envious. She looked around again. “Well, it really is beautiful here.”

“I wasn’t really raised in a religious household, but I can’t help but think, this is God’s country, out here,” Luke said. “I can’t help but feel at one with Him when I look down at all of this.”

Jena remained silent. Luke looked over at her and saw the worried look on her face.

“Do you know what I mean?” he questioned.

“No.” Luke looked confused, and so she clarified.  “I mean, it is beautiful,” she replied “but I don’t believe in God.”

Luke waited for her to continue. This was not the time to pry.

“I was raised in a religious family. We went to church when we could. Just not during show season. I used to believe, but then my dad died, and my mom left. It was so unfair. I found myself questioning my beliefs. My God wouldn’t let my father die, would he? He wouldn’t have let my mother leave, either. He wouldn’t have put me in this situation.” She looked over at him, and Luke could see the pain obscuring her beautiful features. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, the pain was gone and her expression was more matter-of-fact. “I guess I just have a hard time believing that there is a higher power out there, looking after me, because it certainly doesn’t feel like it to me.”

With those words, Jena’s cheeks flushed in anger, and the wind pulled at her hair. Luke dismounted his horse and ground tied him, letting him graze, before going over to her. He could see that she was biting back tears now, as she looked out onto the velvety hills. Luke put his hand on her knee and rubbed small circles.

“Jena, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I believe everything happens for a reason.” She looked down at him, a single tear escaping her eye, and running down her cheek. “It may not seem like it, but I believe that there is something bigger than us, calling the shots. We may not see it at the time. Or at least, it’s hard to see.”

“You might feel differently, if you were in my situation,” Jena said, rubbing the tear away.

“Who says I’m not?” Luke replied quietly. Jena turned to look at him, wide eyed.

“But. . .”

“I haven’t told how I came to work for your aunt and uncle yet.”

“I… “ Jena began. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s a story for another time. I don’t really want to ruin this day.”

He grabbed the reins from Jena and pulled her down from her horse, then ground tied him, too. He pulled a blanket out from the saddle bag and spread it out on the ground before him. Luke sat first and pulled her down to settle between his legs. Jena leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I miss riding. I mean
really
riding. There is such a feeling of freedom when I’m on the back of a horse. I didn’t realize how much I missed it, until yesterday. I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to get it out of my life.”

“Why did you stop?” Luke asked quietly.

“I didn’t stop right away. At first, I thought it would help me. Then I kept picturing my father falling, and every time I sat up there, I felt like I was falling. I became worried about falling. Constantly. Until finally, I just didn’t get on.”

“What made you decide to ride yesterday? With me?”

She sighed and sat up to turn toward him. She took one of his hands between both of hers.

“I was young when my father realized that I wanted to follow in his footsteps and ride eventing horses.” Luke looked at her, puzzled as to where this was going, but her look told him to just wait. “I was seven years old and had no fear. I was jumping my pony and constantly begging him to let me ride the bigger horses. After months of asking, he finally agreed. ‘It’s a long way to fall, Jena,’ he’d said to me. ‘Eventing is a dangerous sport. Even the best riders can get hurt.’” Luke could hear her voice catch in her throat. He wrapped his other hand around hers, urging her to go on. “He said that if I thought I was ready to ride the bigger horses, I needed to learn to fall.”

“Learn to fall? How to you learn to fall?” Luke couldn’t help but interrupt.

“He said it was important to learn how to get off the horse. Sometimes, your horse might start to take a jump wrong, or hesitate. There’s a split second when you make the decision to stick it out and try to hold on and regain control, or bail and get off. Sometimes, bailing is the best way. The safest way. Do you know what I mean?”

“Oh, yeah, I suppose. It probably isn’t much different than what bull riders do, right? When they reach the end of their eight seconds, they need to get off.”

“I suppose so, although I never thought of it that way. Anyway, he pulled out one of the smallest horses and made me practice for weeks. He would put me on a lunge line or work in the round pen. I would have to try it at all gaits. Reach forward, grab around the horse’s neck and swing myself down. I must have done it hundreds of times.” Luke still looked puzzled. 

“My point is that, no matter how many times I tried, I didn’t always land on my feet. And I didn’t always walk away unhurt. You can’t control the fall.” At this, she stood up and walked to the edge of the ridge and looked down into the cove.

“You know, even bull riders don’t always land on their feet, Jena,” Luke added, standing up to join her on the edge. “It’s an art. An impossible art.”

“You sound like my father,” she replied. “Once, after the millionth time trying and still landing on my rear, I started crying, telling him that I would never get it and that’s what he told me. I was so worried that he wouldn’t let me ride a bigger horse if I didn’t learn how to do it right, that I think I missed the point of his lesson. Falling may be an art, but you can’t always control the fall. No matter how much you try to control the outside circumstances, you don’t always land on your feet.”

A low breeze lifted the hair from Jena’s shoulder and tangled around her face. She reached her hand up to try to tuck it behind her ears. She looked lost in a memory for a moment, and Luke didn’t dare interrupt.

“I’m sorry,” Jena started again and turned to face him. “You must be wondering where I was going with that.” She looked at his straight jaw line. She watched the muscles flex as he clenched his teeth. His face was unreadable. He stared into her eyes and tried to read her expression.

“Luke,” she whispered. She took her hand and touched his cheek “My point is, that for the last several months, I have felt like I’ve been falling over and over again. I lost myself. I lost my direction. I didn’t know up from down. But, when I met you, for the first time, I landed on my feet. You made me feel as if I could get back on a horse again.”

He searched her eyes for more meaning.

“I love you, Luke. You make me feel as if I have finally mastered the art of falling, because I’m not afraid to fall anymore.” He wrapped his arms around her and reveled in the fact that she fit so perfectly.

“I know what your father meant,” he murmured into her ear, “because by falling in love with you, I think I’ve landed on my feet, too.

IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON by the time Luke and Jena made it back to the farm. They had walked the trails for hours. Jena hopped off her horse and could already feel the welcomed soreness in her muscles that came from not riding regularly for a while. Luke laughed as she stretched out her legs.

“Are you a little sore?” he asked her, with a chuckle.

“Hey, shut up,” she said, playfully, “It’s been awhile since I’ve done this.”

After they untacked the horses and turned them back out, they brushed Gatsby before dinner.

“You know, if you want to ride him next time, I’ll be right here for you,” Luke said.

“I don’t know how he would be on the trails, but maybe someday soon, I’d like to get back on him. I feel more ready every day,” Jena smiled. Somehow, with Luke beside her, she felt as if she could finally get past her demons and get back on her horse.

Eventually, Meg called them in to dinner, and they walked back toward the house. Luke placed his hand at the small of her back and led her up the porch stairs and into the house. He stepped back as soon as they were inside, and Jena immediately felt his absence. She still wasn’t sure how her aunt and uncle would feel about the two of them being together and wasn’t quite ready to let them know. Luke seemed to know this and was always careful around them. One more thing she appreciated about him.

Meg and Rob, however, knew that something was going on. Not only had they been spending a lot of time with each other, but seemed to position themselves around each other. Like magnets, they were drawn together. Meg and Rob had talked about it a lot lately, especially after they heard Jena sneak out to the barn and not return the other night.

“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Rob muttered to her.

“Oh, come on, Rob. Don’t you remember us at that age? They’re probably just worried about how we would feel about the two of them being together. Jena is eighteen and Luke is twenty. They are old enough to make their own decisions. Who are we do judge them?”

“I know,” he answered. “I just can’t help but wonder sometimes how my brother would feel.” They were silent after that, thinking about Ted and how much he loved his daughter.

“He would want his daughter to be happy,” Meg finally whispered. “If Luke makes her happy, that is what he would want.”

Now, Meg watched Jena and Luke come in from the barn, after a day on the trails. They walked side by side, Luke’s hand on the small of Jena’s back. They were both smiling and laughing. And the fact that this was the first time Jena had been on a horse since she had come to the farm wasn’t lost on Meg.

“Did you two have a nice ride?” Meg asked, as they entered the house. She noticed that Luke took a step away from Jena, and it saddened her that he felt he needed to do that around them.

“Yes,” Jena answered. “Luke took me to Cades Cove and then we wandered around the trails for awhile. It really is very beautiful out there.”

The foursome chatted through dinner about their day. Meg felt as if her niece was coming alive again. This time, Rob noticed the way Luke was looking at Jena, and he began to agree that Meg was right. That boy was in love. And from the look of it, Jena was right there with him.

“Tomorrow, Jena, do you want to help with the horses again, or stay with Meg in the office?” Rob asked her, tentatively.

“I can help with the horses, again. If it helps you the most, Uncle Rob.”

Because it meant more time with Jena, Luke couldn’t hide his grin.

THAT NIGHT, JENA SNUCK out earlier to meet Luke. She tapped on the door and pushed it in. Luke was lying in bed, shirtless, with his arms above his head. Music played softly in the background. A Bob Dylan song?

“Hey,” she said, softly.

“Hey,” Luke answered. “You’re early.”

“Is that okay? Meg and Rob went upstairs early, and I couldn’t wait any longer.” She bit her lip and stood in the door. “I want to thank you for today.” Luke looked at her in the moonlight and instantly wanted her.

“Come here,” he said, and she shut the door behind her before going to the bed and sitting next to him. He ran his hands through her hair and pulled her close for a kiss. His hands found their way under her shirt, as she ran her hands along the muscles of his chest. His hands reached her front and toyed with her stomach, sending shivers all of the way down to her toes. Suddenly, she needed her skin to be touching his skin. She reached in front and unbuttoned her shirt, leaving just her thin tank top showing, never turning from their kiss. He pulled it off her shoulders and timidly touched her.

“Jena,” Luke said, looking right at her. “You are so beautiful.” Then he kissed her again.

Jena’s arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him close. Their kiss deepened, and she could feel the primal need that connected them. She moved against him, letting him know that she was ready for more.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush,” he asked, and she smiled at how he was always looking out for her. Luke broke away and looked into her eyes. Jena did want more. She was more certain than ever that she loved Luke and that this felt so right.