The Impossible Art of Falling (Impossible Art #1) (19 page)

“My parents basically didn’t want me around after my sister died. She was my twin, and I think having me around reminded them too much of her. They didn’t exactly kick me out, but I wasn’t going to stay where I wasn’t welcome.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Jena said, understanding completely how he felt. Both of them were adrift at sea with no one to take them in. That is, until Meg and Rob.

“If it’s okay with you, I would rather not talk about it anymore, tonight.” He smiled and pulled her down with him onto the pillows.

“Okay,” Jena answered, snuggling into his side.

“Ah!” Luke moaned.

“Oh, gosh! I forgot about your ribs!”

“It’s okay, I’d rather have you in my arms and feel the pain in my ribs, than not have you in them at all.”

“Here,” she said pulling him over to her. “How about for once, I hold you.”

Luke laid his head down on her shoulder, and Jena began to run her hands through his hair. Luke sighed in contentment and within minutes, Jena could feel the rhythmic breathing of him sleeping. Feeling content, it didn’t take long for her find sleep as well.

JENA WAS ALREADY AWAKE the next morning when Luke stirred next to her.

“Do you feel well enough to go for a morning ride on Honey with me?” Jena whispered against his lips, and he gave an answer through his kiss. They got ready in silence and then walked hand-in-hand to Honey’s stall to tack her up.

This time, Luke used a mounting block, to avoid lying on his ribs. It had cooled off during the night, and Jena shivered as the air brushed against her skin. Luke wrapped his arms around her and she sank into him, their bodies moving as one on the back of the chestnut colored mare. Daylight was barely pulling itself over the tips of the mountains when they made their way up the hill. When they arrived at the highest point, Luke stopped Honey. He rested his chin on Jena’s shoulder and she sighed. No words were spoken. No words were needed. They were content in their silence as they watched the sun come up above the mountains.

Finally, they turned to head back to the barn. The sounds of restless, hungry horses reached their ears. They had stayed out there longer this morning, knowing that they no longer needed to hide their relationship from Meg and Rob. Smiling, they worked their way back to the barn, unaware of the black truck that was rolling up the driveway. Kyle, who didn’t yet know about Luke and Jena, was now watching them ride together, back to the barn. Seeing the two of them happy and smiling was a stark reminder of all that Kyle had lost. He could feel the hatred toward Luke seething through him. He banged his fist against the steering wheel, seeking an outlet for his anger. Luke had taken from him the one person he cared about. It was unfair that he should be so happy when Kyle was not. And Kyle had had enough.

chapter 19

T
HE TRUCK SLID TO A stop and Kyle had barely put it in park before jumping out. Luke was helping Jena down when Kyle ran up.

“You son of a bitch.” Kyle swung at Luke, his fist connecting with Luke’s jaw. Luke’s face flung to the side. He had been unprepared, and it took him a moment to put up his guard.

“What the hell is your problem?” he yelled, wiping the blood from his lip.

“I had everything, and you, you took it from me. You took her from me, you bastard.” He was still swinging. Luke was trying to block and get some hits in of his own, but Kyle was bigger and had his anger on his side.

“Stop! Kyle stop!” Jena screamed at him. She grabbed onto his arm and tried to pull him away from Luke. He pushed her aside, and she went tumbling down.

“Jena!” Luke cried and tried to go to her, but Kyle was after him again.

“You killed her. You killed her and left me with nothing!” Kyle was screaming at the top of his lungs. His eyes were wild and his swings were missing.

“I didn’t kill her, Kyle! I didn’t tell her to get into that car and wrap it around a tree! I tried to stop her!” Luke tried to reason, but Kyle wouldn’t listen.

By now, Meg and Rob had heard all of the commotion from inside the house and had come running out.

“Boys!” Meg was hollering. Rob managed to get in between the two of them held them apart at arm’s length.

“What the hell is this all about?” he said. Seeing Rob and Meg seemed to shock Kyle back, and he stood there with his arms at his sides. From where Jena sat, he looked sad and defeated and somehow, smaller. He crouched down until he fell to his knees in the gravel. His head was heavy in his hands, and she could hear his sobbing. So unlike the man who oozed confidence and constantly tried to get her to go out with him. Was it possible that he had his own demons?

Luke stood nearby, hunched over. He reached his hand up to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth. Jena scrambled over to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He draped an arm over her shoulder, more for support than out of affection.

“Kyle,” he tried to say, his voice a hoarse whisper, “I didn’t kill her. I swear. She was my sister, for god’s sake!”

Kyle looked at him in hatred and disbelief.

“I tried to stop her. I tried to… she wouldn’t listen… she… ” Luke could no longer speak as the tears were flowing freely. He slid down to his knees, pulling Jena with him, no longer able to stand. The man beside her was utterly broken, and she had no idea why.

Meg and Rob stood there, shocked, clearly not knowing what the past between these two truly was.

“Jena,” Meg said, “why don’t you go take Luke back to his room and get him cleaned up. Rob and I will take care of Kyle in the house. We just may need to close the trail rides today, if we can’t get this figured out.”

Jena nodded and helped Luke stand up and walk back into the barn. She remembered to grab Honey’s reins from where she had dropped them, and the horse followed the two of them back into the barn.

"I need to put her away," Jena said to Luke. "Can you make it to your room alright?" Luke nodded and then limped away.

After putting Honey away, Jena walked to the house. Inside, she could hear Rob shouting followed by Kyle's murmured apologies. Every so often, she could hear Meg's soft voice interject with reason. She didn't stay to hear what they were saying. She needed to hear what Luke had to say. She carefully wrapped a handful of ice cubes into the dish towel on the counter and rushed back out to Luke. Grabbing the first aid kit, she went to his room.

"Hey," she said as she slipped in. She could see the light on in the small bathroom attached to his room and heard the water running.

"I'm sorry. You didn't need to see that," Luke whispered, when he caught sight of her standing in the doorway. His hands, which gripped the sides of the sink, were shaking.

"Here," she said, "Let me clean you up." Jena reached for his hand and sat him down on the bed. The chair that she dragged to sit across from him, grated on the floor. She held his hands in her own, taking in the bruising and the cracked knuckles. Gently, she laid the ice pack on the top of his right hand, to help keep the swelling down. She then grabbed some of the gauze from the kit and ran it under the tap to get it damp. Her fingers brushed over the torn and cut skin of his face, as she silently dabbed at the wounds. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask him to explain what had just happened but found she couldn't. At the moment, Luke couldn't even look her in the eye, too ashamed of what he had done.

The antiseptic she applied to his face burned, and Luke clenched his teeth, welcoming the pain he figured he deserved. He needed to talk to her. He needed to tell her. He needed to tell her everything. He fought the conflict within himself, and when he finally looked up, there was confusion and hurt in her eyes.

"Jena," he breathed. He placed his hand over her own, where it laid on his cheek. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into her hand, squeezing his eyes tight. "I love you so much, but I haven't been completely honest with you." He paused.

Jena stiffened, but didn't pull away, something he took as a welcome sign to continue. Seizing her other hand, he pulled her down to sit next to him on the bed, afraid to look at her when he confessed his deepest sins.

“Like I said, my sister was my twin. She was older than me by three minutes, but in many ways, I was both the little and big brother she needed. We were very close, hanging out with the same group of friends, and at the time, that included Kyle. I told you that Kyle and I used to play football together. I didn't tell you that he used to be one of my best friends." Jena looked up at him, puzzled. "Then he started dating my sister."

This made more sense to Jena. This explained the rivalry, the way the two looked at each other. Luke didn't relax next to her yet, so she knew there was more to tell. Keeping hold of his hand, she moved back to sit across from him, willing him to look at her.

"I told you that my sister died. She was killed in a car accident. I didn't tell you that I may have caused it…or at least Kyle seems to think so."

"Is that why he says you killed her?" Jena asked, finding her voice again.

"Yeah. He may be right, you know." Luke's shoulders hunched over again, his head sagging into his hands.

"Tell me what happened," Jena urged.

"There was a party. Some typical high school party after a football game. We had won, but I don't even remember who we played anymore. There was lots of drinking. By the time I showed up, my sister was already drunk. Kyle, of course, was with her and seemed oblivious to the fact that she had had as much as she had. I was pissed off that he let her get that way. Like I said, I thought I was her big brother, too. Besides, Kyle was my friend, and he was supposed to take care of her. I trusted him to take care of her. I watched him hand her another beer, and I just lost it. I smacked it from her hands, sending the beer everywhere." Luke was visibly shaking now. Jena reached a hand up to his face to comfort him, but his eyes were dark and distant. "Finally, seeing me upset, Kyle decided to get involved. 'Babe,' he said. 'I think you've had enough.' She didn't think so, and they started to argue, right then and there. I stepped back, figuring I had done what I set out to do, and Kyle would take care of her for the rest of the night. I turned away and began walking to another room. Moments later, I felt her rush by me as she flew out the door."

"So, she had been drinking," Jena stated. "How can this be your fault? You didn't hand her the beer. You didn't get her drunk."

"Yeah, but I didn't stop her. I should have grabbed her right there and taken her home. I should have taken her keys, made sure she never got behind the wheel." The tears had started to fall again, and Luke tried to brush them away, ashamed to be crying. Jena pulled his hands to her, silently letting him know that she understood. Hadn't she blamed herself at times, for her father's death?

"I didn't know she had gotten into the car and driven away, until I heard the squeal of tires on the gravel driveway. I jumped in my truck and tried to catch up to her. To follow her home. To get her to pull over and talk. Something. Anything. But, I was too late. When I came upon her car, she had wrapped it around a tree, having taken the corner too fast. Kyle was right behind me, but we couldn't save her. She was already gone. Kyle has blamed me for letting her go. And I have blamed myself for letting her go." Luke stood up and walked to the window. "I got her killed that night, because I didn't stop her. If only I’d taken care of her… taken her home myself, when I had the chance."

Jena stood up to join him and wrapped her arms around his strong back, burying her face into his shoulder blades. She could feel his pain. She knew his pain. There had been so many times that she had thought that she could have done something to save her father. If only she had walked the course with him one last time. Helped him plan out his approaches to the jumps. Maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out differently. And here was Luke, feeling exactly the same way. She felt the wetness on her cheeks and knew that she, too, was crying.

"Luke," she uttered then turned him to face her. "This is not your fault. No matter what Kyle says about you. Your sister got into that car and drove away. She made that decision, not you." Her eyes searched his for some sort of understanding, before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. Her kiss seemed to awaken something in him, and she could feel him finally begin to relax. She pulled away first, her forehead resting on his chin.

"You and I are so alike, you know that? We have both had this great loss. I guess that’s why you seem to know how to help me navigate through this." She smiled up at him, and he felt grounded again.