The Innocent (36 page)

The others joined their voices to hers. Carlyn had never heard the song so she simply did as Sister Edna had earlier ordered. Listened.

What joy to my bosom it sends, what peace to my troubled mind.

To know that my dear gospel kin have love and affection for me,

My spirit from sorrow does win and causes dejection to flee.

With that, the meeting was over. Carlyn was so eager to go to bed she didn’t notice Sister Edna wasn’t behind her until she got to their sleeping room. But it wasn’t her duty to watch Sister Edna. Sister Edna’s duty was to watch Carlyn. This night she could watch her sleep. Even so, Carlyn was relieved when Sister Edna came into the room, as though by some strange upheaval of circumstance, she had to feel as responsible for Sister Edna as the older sister was compelled to feel for her.

Along with the other sisters, Carlyn knelt to silently say her evening prayers.
Thank thee, Lord, for the day. Protect us through
the night. Give us blessings on the morrow. In Thy
holy name I pray.

That was the first prayer her mother had taught her. Simple. Complete. Quick. She needed quick tonight. Others were still on their knees, including Sister Edna, when Carlyn slipped under her bedcover.

She had thought she would sleep like the dead, but instead she kept jerking awake with her heart pounding in her ears, unsure if whatever noise she’d heard was in her restless dreams or in the room. Beside her, Sister Marie slept soundly. All around the room, the sound of in and out breathing indicated all was well. She drew in a breath and shut her eyes. Then the door slid open and closed. A furtive sound. Surely the same as it must have sounded the night before when she had followed Sister Berdine outside.

Carlyn sat up in the bed. Moonlight filtered through the window to show no bed looked empty unless pillows had been stuffed under covers. She looked toward Sister Edna’s bed nearest the door. The covers were folded back neatly and the bed empty.

A call of nature perhaps. But they had a chamber pot so that trips to the privy were not necessary in the dark of the night.

She swung her feet over the side of the bed and listened intently. Was that voices she heard? There shouldn’t be voices. Especially not angry voices.

She had promised not to go out of the room without telling Sister Edna, but she wasn’t there to tell. She could wake one of the others, but if it turned out to be nothing, she would have done naught but steal her sister’s sleeping time. It must only be an echo of a dream making her think she was hearing an argument. But she would not rest easy until she found out.

Without bothering to put on shoes, she tiptoed out of the room. In the hallway, the voices over her head weren’t loud enough for her to make out words, but she heard no peace in the sound. At each end of the hall, steep stairways led up to the third floor. She headed toward the sisters’ stairs. The third floor had no sleeping rooms, only chests built into the attic walls for storing extra clothing and essentials. And places to watch.

But no one would be watching at this time of the night. She should go back to the sleeping room and pull the covers over her head. If it was Sister Edna meeting someone for whatever reason, she would not welcome Carlyn’s interference. Even so, Carlyn kept moving toward the staircase as silently as a willow leaf on the wind.

A shriek sent chills up Carlyn’s back. A terrible crash followed. She ran then, her bare feet skimming the wood floor.

Sister Edna lay crumpled at the bottom of the steep stairs in a pool of moonlight coming from the window at the end of hall. Not in her nightgown as Carlyn was, but dressed as though ready for morning even though it must be hours before dawn.

“Sister Edna.” Carlyn stooped down next to her, thankful to note her chest rising and falling. She touched her face and the sister’s eyelids flew open wide.

She clutched Carlyn’s hand. “It’s not safe. He’s . . .” Her eyes widened.

“Who?”

“Him.” She moaned then and turned loose of Carlyn’s hand to touch her bonnet. “My head.” Her eyes seemed to stop seeing even before they closed.

“Sister Edna!” The woman gave no response. Carlyn touched her chest. It was still rising and falling.

Brothers and sisters, aroused by the noise of Sister Edna’s fall, ran toward them from both sides of the house. They stopped in a circle around Sister Edna and Carlyn.

“Is she dead?” one of the sisters asked, dread in her voice.

“Nay. She yet breathes,” Carlyn said.

Then Elder Derron pushed to the front of the Shakers. He was panting a bit. “What happened here?”

“She must have fallen down the steps,” Carlyn said.

“Did she fall?” His eyes bored into Carlyn. “Or did you push her? Tell the truth, Sister.”

32

“I would never do such a thing.” Carlyn stared up at him. “I found her here at the bottom of the stairs.”

“Yea, that is what you say, but your retiring room is far down the hall. Yet you were here first.” Elder Derron’s voice was harsh, his face accusing. She could hardly believe he was the same man who seemed so calm and in control behind his desk at the Trustee House.

One of the brethren stepped forward with a lamp. Carlyn put her hand up to shield her eyes from the light that shone down on her. They seemed more intent on accusing her than in helping Sister Edna.

“Please, she’s hurt.” Carlyn looked down at Sister Edna.

“That we can see, but we must know what happened,” Elder Derron demanded.

Carlyn tamped down on her irritation. “Something woke me, and when Sister Edna was not in her bed, it seemed strange. I had never wakened in the night to find her bed empty.”

“But there were times she found your bed empty, were there not?”

The lamp cast dark shadows on the wall behind the Shakers encircling her. Grim shadows. Carlyn straightened her shoulders. She refused to let them intimidate her. “I am innocent of any wrong here and only guilty of concern for my sister.” Carlyn appealed to the sisters who seemed afraid to step past Elder Derron. “Please send someone to fetch your doctor. Sister Edna said her head hurt.”

“She spoke?” Elder Derron sounded surprised.

“Yea, before she passed out.”

“What did she say?” the elder demanded.

“What matters that?” Eldress Lilith pushed past him to kneel by Sister Edna. “Oh, dear Mother Ann, please help our faithful sister.” She whispered the words as a prayer, then reached to touch Carlyn’s arm. “Fear not, Sister. One of the brethren has gone for Brother Benjamin. His medical skill may bring our sister back to awareness so she can tell us what happened.”

“Yea, I will pray so.” Carlyn looked at Eldress Lilith, who let her eyes slide back to Sister Edna as though she wasn’t sure Carlyn meant what she said.

“It would be better for you to tell the truth, Sister,” Elder Derron said. “Perhaps you did not mean for her to fall.”

“I would not hurt her. I don’t care how difficult she is to please.” Carlyn got to her feet to face the Shaker elder.

“Many hard things have happened in our family since you came among us. Carrying a gun, I am told.” Elder Derron emphasized those last words. “And now this. I feel it best, for our safety and yours, to lock you in the vagrant house until we can summon the sheriff in the morning.”

Carlyn’s heart pounded in her ears. They couldn’t think she had caused Sister Edna’s fall, but then someone may have. She had heard angry voices. And Sister Edna had said he was there. “I am innocent. I would not hurt Sister Edna, but she said she saw someone. A man. Perhaps he is still here.” She looked across Sister Edna toward the stairs.

Nobody moved.

“Sister Edna also often spoke of your loose attachment to the truth,” Elder Derron said. “Is that not true, Eldress Lilith?”

“Yea, it was a concern to Sister Edna.” Eldress Lilith did not look up as she continued to stroke Sister Edna’s arms.

“Then you are in agreement, Eldress, that we must confine this sister until we can determine what happened here this night.” Elder Derron sounded like it was already settled.

“Yea, that might be best,” the eldress agreed.

“Best?” Carlyn stooped down beside Eldress Lilith. “You cannot mean to lock me up somewhere. I have done nothing wrong.”

“If that is true, you have no reason to worry.” The eldress finally looked at Carlyn. “The house we keep for those wayfarers who pass through our village in need of a bed is clean and warm.” For a moment her eyes reflected kindness, but then the unyielding look was back. “You must do as the elder says. For your own security as well as ours.”

Carlyn stood up. She wanted to run, but there was no escape. She took a deep breath. The eldress was right. She had no reason to worry. She had done no wrong, and when Sister Edna came to her senses she would not accuse Carlyn falsely. If she regained her faculties.

Eldress Lilith kept her voice calm as she took charge and
issued orders to those standing around her. “Sister Alice, accompany Sister Carlyn back to your room and stay with her while she dresses. The rest of you, return to your beds. I will wait here for Brother Benjamin to come.”

Carlyn had no choice except to follow Sister Alice back to their sleeping room where she stood in the middle of the room, at a loss for what to do next. Sister Alice held clothes out to her. Carlyn stared at them a moment, but then pulled her gown off and took the offered dress and underskirt.

“We know you would not intend to hurt Sister Edna,” Sister Alice assured Carlyn as she picked up the discarded gown and folded it neatly.

Carlyn paused in adjusting the dress to look at Sister Alice. “You can’t think I pushed her?”

“Nay, we know you would not,” Sister Marie spoke up beside them.

“Yea, it will all come clear in the morning light,” Sister Alice said. “You have nothing to worry about here among us.”

If only she could believe that was true. Instead, too many things had gone wrong at Harmony Hill while she had been there. Elder Derron was right about that, at least. The Shaker bell that had seemed her answer weeks ago had perhaps been a warning instead. Now they were going to lock her away, but come morning, she would collect her dog and leave the village to find another way.

With prayer.
Her mother’s voice tickled through her mind.
Always with prayer.

Like a condemned person, Carlyn followed Elder Derron through the night to a small house at the edge of the village. The light from the lantern he carried wavered with each step and added to the surreal feel of the moment. It
would have been better to walk with only the moonlight guiding their steps. Sister Alice and Sister Marie walked behind Carlyn.

At the house, Sister Alice lit a taper from the lantern flame and assured Carlyn once more that all would be well come morning. Sister Marie wept and hugged her. Elder Derron pointed the two sisters outside and, without a word, shut the door. The lock turned and Carlyn was alone.

She stared at the door and only barely kept from crossing over to try the handle. She took a deep breath. She was not afraid of being alone. In the last few weeks with the Shakers, she had sometimes wished for such silence. But it was disturbing to be falsely accused and locked up.

The truth would come out. She had no reason to feel doom settling heavily on her shoulders. Shadows from the candle flame flickered on the walls as though mocking her. She reached to extinguish it but hesitated. She would have no way to relight it. Was she so bereft of courage that she feared shadows?

Pray. That
is the best way to find courage for whatever must
be borne.

“But I have prayed,” Carlyn whispered. “Over and over. And the answers seem few.”

Pray anyway.

“Dear Lord.” She shut her eyes. At least she could pray for Sister Edna. “Let Sister Edna come back to health. Give the Shaker doctor skill.” It seemed odd praying aloud after all the silent Shaker prayers, but at the same time, the spoken words seemed necessary. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. But I am afraid, Lord. Forgive me, but I am afraid.”

The sheriff would believe her. Mitchell. Even if he had to arrest her, he would believe her. With that thought, she breathed easier. He would be there after the sun rose. He would help her. The Lord had given her a friend.

She left the candle burning. It might gutter out before morning, but if it did, she would face the darkness then. She had no idea what time it was. She paced around the small room that held a narrow bed and a table with a chair. A broom hung on a peg next to the door. She tried to push up the one window, but it would not budge. Nailed shut from the outside.

Her heart raced in a spasm of panic. She shut her eyes and blew out a long breath. She would not think about being locked in. She would only think about the morning when Mitchell would come.

She looked at the bed but could not lie down. Instead she sat in the chair and wished for her mother’s Bible. But whether she had the Bible or not, she did have the verses her mother had helped her store in her heart for just such lonely times. Scraps of those verses rose in her mind.
For God so loved the
world. The Lord is my shepherd. O God, thou art
my God; early will I seek thee. Hear my voice, O God, in my prayer.