The Kiss Off (30 page)

***

Chapter Twenty-Two

Oh my God what was he doing here what was he doing here what was he freaking
doing
here? He squinted at me from between his raised arms and slowly lowered his defences. Then he was hit in the head with a flying remote control. Someone scored a bullseye. He grunted and winced, rubbing the sore spot as we both turned around to face the living room. Hiding behind the meagre protection of the coffee table was a line of three little girls, throwing whatever was nearest at the big bad man. Three little girls who were not in the safety of the shed. I could tell Bex recognized who it was, but the evil little smile that was playing around her lips as she reached for Mom’s favorite vase on the lamp table made it clear she was playing dumb.

Natalie threw another remote control, which Cam dodged before it hit the wall and the batteries scattered on the floor. One hit him on the head on the way down but I don’t even think he felt it. He shuffled a bit and before I knew it he was behind me, using me as a human shield.

“Drop it Bex!” I yelled as her fingers wrapped around the crystal. “Don’t you dare.” I stared her down. Her eyes bugged out as she was caught red-handed and she put down the vase.

“Stop, stop – Stacey don’t throw that! It’s okay girls, it’s just Cam,” I said, shoving him on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” he said, blinking. I looked at him carefully. He was blinking a lot and squinting. And he was swaying. Oh jeez, he was drunk.

“He’s useless,” I said. “Sorry, I mean
harmless
. Are you wasted?”

“Nah,” he said. Then he hiccupped. “Just a little tipsy.” I sighed and shook my head at him.

“Oh – shit!” I said and held up the phone. “Hello?”

“Is everything alright there, ma’am?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s a false alarm, it’s just some idiot I know.” I punched Cam on the shoulder.

“You don’t want us to send anyone out?”

“No, thanks though.” I ended the call and glared at Cam. Well that was humiliating.

“I was throwing rocks at your window,” he said. “Because I wanted to talk to you but didn’t want your parents to know.”

“What are you talking about?” I said. “We were standing right under my window.”

“Yeah,” Cam said. “Then when you didn’t answer and I climbed the tree and sort of fell inside, I realized it was actually your parents’ room.”

I slapped my forehead. If I wasn’t grounded already, they probably would have chained me to a chair in the shed for the rest of my life if they’d found a boy trying to climb into my bedroom.

“They’re not here,” I said. “You could have rung the doorbell like a normal person.”

“Yeah, well I get that
now
,” he said. He bent over and picked up the spatula and a remote control, and surveyed the girls. “The doorbell. Man, that would have been easier. What is up with your hair?”

“Girls, go watch the fireworks.” I said. “It’s okay.”

“But they’re over.” Bex said. I listened. She was right, the explosions had ended, but the talking, music, shouting and all around merriment was still in full swing.

“Okay well, do you want to keep watching
Nemo
then?”

“Yeah!” The girls cheered, jumped up and down a little and ran to their favorite spot on the couch, carpet or with their favorite toy.

I took the remote from Cam’s hand, picked up the batteries from where they had fallen and pressed play.

“Come on,” I said, nodding toward the front hallway for some privacy. I sat down on the stairs and he leaned against the banister, looking at me. “So why are you here?” I asked. “It’s the Block Party - why aren’t you out there?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s just a bunch of lame people getting drunk if they’ve got any, and making out in the bushes.”

“So who was there?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. And some other people. Nikki was there, actually. With this Greek guy.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “No idea where she would have met him.”

“And um, how do you feel about that?” I said. “Nikki and some other guy.”

“You know what?” he said. “I feel okay. I feel fine. I think I’m even happy for her.” He bobbled his head up and down, and he smiled to himself. “She’s a cool chick, Nikki.”

“Yeah,” I said. And I was surprised to find that I believed it, too. I’d always known she’d liked him as a person. And I guess I
had
broken up with him. Maybe it was time I stopped blaming her for my mistakes. Maybe I should give her a call sometime. When I officially get my phone back.

Cam looked at me. I looked back. We just looked at each other for what felt like forever, like he was trying to say something to me by just looking at me, but I wasn’t getting it.

“She’s a cool chick,” Cam said again. “But she’s not the one for me.”

I blew out a breath and covered my face with my hands, letting out a pained moan I didn’t know was even in me.

“Look, I know what he said last night,” Cam said, cutting off any objections he clearly thought I was about to say. He did have a point, I mean my body language wasn’t exactly in his favor. “I heard it, we all heard it, but I mean, before he did, before he said that, we were…and I thought…and not even right before but ages before, we were good, you know? We were great.” He sat beside me, took my hands in his and squeezed them tightly. “We were really great and there was that misunderstanding and…”

“I dumped you,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“And then you got with Nikki pretty much the next day.”

“No – you gotta listen to me, okay?” he said. “She just, well, and we…” He sighed and let go of me to run a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know if us, you and me, I was really scared of ruining what we had and I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. You weren’t just my girlfriend, you were my
best friend,
and when you dumped me all of a sudden she came up and was wanting to spend heaps of time with me, and hitting on me like, really full-on and I didn’t even know what was happening until it had happened and you hated me.”

“I was such a bitch to you,” I said.

“…Yeah.”

“And Nikki.”

“Her too.”

“Why do you even like me still, Cam? If I’m such a bitch? I mean I even wrote that stupid song about you. The way I’ve treated you, treated you both this year was so…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I had broken up with him, he had moved on and I’d made their lives hell as a consequence. I didn’t have any right, even if I hadn’t meant to break up with him permanently, I’d still done it. He should be allowed to move on.

“That’s not you, Poppy,” he said. “That’s just angry you.”

“It’s all my fault,” I said, lowering my face toward my knees.

“What is?” he said. “Hey, is the room spinning to you?”

“Everything’s my fault,” I said. “And the room’s spinning because you’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” he said. “And I mean everything. Everything I said, I mean it. Even if I am…” He thought for a moment. “Slightly inebriated.”

I laughed. “You’re funny.”

“And you’re amazing.” He held my gaze, and I knew this was it, this was that moment again, the moment from last night had come back around. Oh God, did I want it? I thought I did…

He leaned his head toward me, his lips toward my lips, and I felt myself leaning back. Our lips touched gently, quick grazes and then slowly something more, something deeper. I tried to ignore the taste of alcohol in his mouth. I didn’t have to try hard, my body tingled, and I mentally raised my arms in triumph, jumped up and down and squealed. This was it, this was what I had wanted all year. Cam and me, together again. But there was something not quite right about it. Something missing. I didn’t feel the joy and lust I thought I would. I felt hollow.

“In you go, boy,” a voice at the door said and Poo Bum was released, a length of twine looped around his collar in a makeshift lead. Again. He ran at us and I jumped up as he went to shove his nose in my crotch. My mouth fell open and I watched Ty’s sad eyes, his sorrowful expression as he lingered at the threshold, not daring to come in. Not after what he had just witnessed.

“Ty,” I said. “I…I…” I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. My brain felt as if someone had squirted marshmallow fluff in through my ears because I couldn’t do anything.
Again
.

“I found him for you,” he said, his eyes on the dog. My stomach sank as he wouldn’t look at me. Like he couldn’t.

“Thanks,” I said. We stood there in silence. Cam hadn’t moved, there was nothing he could have done to make it any better, anyway. Ty watched him cautiously.

“Who’s that?” he said, nodding at Cam.

My face flushed and I prickled all up and down my spine. “You remember Cam,” I said, my eyes downcast. I couldn’t look at him either.

“Yeah, hi,” Cam said. “We’ve met. I called you a rapist one time.” He shifted on the stair as if going to get up but then decided against it. He closed his eyes and placed a fist to his forehead, wincing.

Ty nodded. “Right. I remember. Cam,” he looked at me blankly. He remembered who Cam was alright, who Cam was to me. “I see.”

I shifted my gaze between them.
No
, I thought.
No, you don’t see.

“I’m gonna go,” Ty said. He shuffled back and turned, jogging down the porch steps and toward the driveway that led from the house, led from the street, the town, led out of my life forever.

No. No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t go. This was all wrong.

“Wait,” I said. “No. Ty stop – wait!” I dashed out the door and into the darkness after him.

“Poppy!” Cam called after me but I wasn’t going back. I had to follow Ty. I spotted him up ahead, nearing the crossing, and Mr. Martinez’s rose bushes. A couple of houses had their windows open, light spilling into their front gardens and laughter and conversation travelling out to me as the multitude of parties raged on. The Kiss Off filtered out through the windows from Mr. Martinez’s neighbor’s place. I could faintly hear the bands playing up at the shopping strip, where my friends would be, having fun at the best party of the year. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything else at that moment. At that moment, all that mattered was Ty. He couldn’t go.

“Ty, stop! It’s not what it looks like!”

“It’s fine, Poppy, I get it,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me as he continued to walk with long purposeful strides. I caught up to him but had to scurry alongside to keep pace.

“What do you get?” I said.

“You’re back with your ex. We’re over, it’s fine. You’re free. I give you my blessing.”

“No, stop,” I said. “Will you just stop?” I stepped in front of him and barred his way before he could cross the street.

He groaned with frustration. “It’s
fine
, Poppy.”

“It’s not fine!” I said. “It’s not.”

Ty let out an angry groan. “Was I just a place holder until he was single again, was that it?”

“No!” I said. “No, of course not!”

“Poppy.”

I breathed out heavily. “Okay. You know what? At first, yeah. You kind of were. I was still completely crushed about Cam and wanted him back so bad but I couldn’t tell my friends that so when Mads asked me who I was into, I picked a random guy on the bus and told her, him. I liked him.” Holy hell had I just said that out loud?

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. So at first, okay, you were pretty much my rebound guy.” I hated myself for it, but it was true. I’d wanted to be with Cam. I always had and I missed him like nothing I’d ever missed before.

But Ty wasn’t just a replacement, a stand in until Cam realized he’d made a huge mistake by choosing Nikki over me. Ty made me feel special and funny and like I’m this amazing, awe-inspiring but a bit of a mental (in a good way) person. And he was so special and mental in a good way himself, so creative and funny with this commanding stage presence. He wasn’t afraid of being goofy and he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He’s confident in who he is and happy and I found myself inspired by his passion for things too. He should never have been a stand in for anybody. He deserved better than that.

“Rebound, great,” Ty said, throwing his hands in the air. “Thanks a bunch.”

I walked over to him and grabbed those hands, cold from the slight chill in the night air, his fingertips rough with guitar calluses worse than mine. I squeezed his hands tight, like I was never going to let them go.

“But you know it didn’t end up that way. It wasn’t just a rebound. It wasn’t.”

He looked down at our hands, while I looked desperately at his eyes.

“I’m so sorry about everything, Poppy,” he said quietly. He turned his eyes to mine, and entwined our fingers, holding my hands to his heart. “I’m sorry about Sasha.” He looked away with annoyance. “I thought we could trust her. But it turns out she was going through my phone, Archie’s emails, whatever she could find that she thought would put us in the spotlight.”