The Language Inside (26 page)

I show him the text

chris wants 2 no if you can come 2 din

sat night . . . your whole fam . . . camfood

but that’s good
Toby says

I nod

he punches me

baka!
he says—jerk!

don’t confuse me

I thought it was more bad news

I rub my arm

wipe my eyes

blow my nose

realizing from the punch

that underneath

Toby worries, too

I text Sam back

sounds good—camfood?

and he answers

cambodian food, dodo

and I laugh and show Toby

and we high-five ’cause

we are both so aching

for Asian food

not that I really know what Cambodian food is like

but I suspect it’s similar to Thai or Vietnamese

which we love

in Kamakura there’s a Vietnamese café

where Madoka, Shin, Kenji and I go

to have
pho
at tables outside

eating to the
kan kan kan
sound

of the train crossing

and thinking of that café

and my friends

I’m homesick

but I’m also thinking

of dinner with Sam

and how

               if someone offered me a ticket to Japan this minute

               maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t want to go back today

               because of what I’m looking forward to tomorrow

Mom and Toby are game for the dinner

but YiaYia suggests we go without her

I urge her to come

but I know for a fact

she doesn’t like much Asian food

               except teriyaki

               which she pronounces
terry-ackee

go without me

enjoy

she says

to be honest

I could use a quiet evening

and she winks at me

I call Sam to say thank you and yes

but Chris answers Sam’s phone

Sam Nang’s driving
he says

uh-oh
I joke

thinking it’s strange

that Chris says Sam’s last name

I tell Chris we can come to dinner

and ask what we can bring

nothing—

Sam Nang’s mom, Lily

will be cooking

with everyone’s help

just bring yourselves

the next night

is a great night

Sam’s mother, Lily, has made

a sweet-and-sour lemongrass soup

that fills my lungs when we enter the kitchen

and while she prepares curried fish she calls
amok

Sam, Beth, Sam’s sister Lena and I

make spring rolls

Lily is kind

solid-looking and laughing

strong but funny with Lena and Van

not at all how I’d imagine for a survivor

if your father, sister and brother were killed

and your mother disappeared

when you were young

and you’d nearly starved

and became a refugee

we place shrimp on rice paper rounds

add noodles, greens and scallions

fold in one end and roll it all up

it’s like the
gyoza
parties at Madoka’s house

where we made dumplings, all kinds—

pork and scallion, cabbage and shrimp

tomato and cheese . . . 

we talk as we fill the spring rolls

people come in and out of the kitchen

Mom takes Lena and Van to the dining room

to teach them Japanese handkerchief play

and I ask Lily if she was from the city

or the countryside in Cambodia

she tilts her head as she looks at me

says
countryside, first, then Phnom Penh

I ask if she’s been back and she says
once

I took Sam Nang, about three years ago

I ask how it was

half to Sam, half to his mother

and his mother tilts her head again

and Sam tilts his head the same way

Sam says
different

especially the village

where most of our relatives live

how so?
I say

like simple, you know—

no running water, cows walking down the road

dusty, no electricity, lots of kids

lizards, palm trees

hot

then Lily asks me to tell her about

our town in Japan

I say it has lots of temples

that there’s a temple at the end of our lane

and temple bells gong at six a.m. and six p.m.

I tell her it’s an old city

with ancient harbor stones off the beach

and hiking trails in the hills

and hidden cave tombs

and again I’m babbling

but I’m guessing

she must know what it’s like

to miss a place

so different from where you are